It‘s been a long time since I‘ve posted anything. The holidays took away some steam, but allowed some time to think. My holidays were quite lazy, almost too much. Back in college, I relished the days of being home for a month doing nothing. My life is different now, as I have a life and a job that I love, a place to call home and a place to call now. I don‘t need that month, in fact, I don‘t want that month anymore. I love going home, but I was too passive. I started to realize the areas I am too passive in my life. That‘s what brings me to the discussion of leadership.
I‘ve realized that most of my leadership decisions are reactions to situations. Perhaps that‘s good management, but is that leadership? There‘s aspects of my life, especially my job, where I take initiative and the lead and take ownership of my decisions. If I had waited for a job, I‘d still be working construction. But there‘s too many areas where I‘m passive. I sit back and wait for something to happen so that I can react to it and call it good leadership. Now there‘s an entire aspect of leadership which we could call "damage control," which is essentially reactionary, but I‘m speaking of being a leader, a visionary, a risk taker, a presence in which others follow.
This Christmas I directed a youth choir for my church service. I‘ve led a lot of music services, but never a large choir. I had it on video and showed it to my parents, which was fun, considering their resumes. I thought the choir went really well and that I directed quite well for my first time. My dad, however, had a profound reaction. He said, "You look good, but you‘re reacting to them." "
What?" "You‘re letting them direct you. We all do that at first, but the more confident you are, the more you command their attention and they follow you. Then you can create music."
(paraphrased) Passive. I thought I was leading, but if I am honest with myself, I was scared that the kids would derail. I wasn‘t in fact directing them, but following. I think we all do that in certain ways. How often do I play the victim when things don‘t go my way, when in actuality I just never fought for it, went after it, or even really wanted it? Do you have those moments where you sulk over something just to play the "things never go my way" card, and then you come to find you didn‘t even want it? I used to. There‘s no place for that attitude in leadership. Those moments are masking the fact that I‘m too passive for what I want, and who I want to be. I want to be the aggressor, to take risks and go after what I want, "and not when I come to die, discover that I had not lived."
These aren‘t profound ideas, but I‘ve learned a lot about leadership over the last few years, and this is just another step of becoming someone I respect. Confidence, strength, listening, patience, sacrifice, love. William Wallace over Mr. Rogers. Passion over passive.
What is leadership to you? What are some good leadership quotes? What are your thoughts?
