|
什么是racket?
查字典这个词意思是一种sport; noise; crime。书里举的例子是mairriage：丈夫回家晚，妻子总会抱怨，表面的抱怨实际并不是妻子本意，这些抱怨可能是一种获得 superiority的方式或者某种对控制局面的力量。而在丈夫的角度，他也有being late的racket,他会认为“Why doesn't she appreciate how hard i'm working to keep us above water?”这样的话妻子认为自己是对的，丈夫不对（get to be right, makes her husband wrong）；而丈夫he gets to make his wife wrong for making him wrong.这样这种racket就一直持续；双方都为此付出代价（lack of intimacy,也就是影响夫妻感情的质量。 因此，racket有四个因素组成1.There is a complaint that has persisted for some time.( can be aware of) 2.There is a pattern of behavior that goes along with the complaint.( can be aware of)(such as act irritated,aloof,and withdrawn.) 3.Payoff for having this complaint continue. (unsaid and unaware) 4.The cost of this behavior. (unsaid and unaware) racket就是这么一种关系，不停抱怨，双方互不理解，各自有各自的角度，同样为这种不健康的关系得到payoff和付出cost. 上例中妻子可能得到一种payoff,she gets to be right and feel superior, she also has a card that will allow her to be late sometime in the future, as payback. 她的cost就是双方感情不再亲密。 payoff就是一种让这样racket不断持续很长时间的东西。而cost是双方为此付出的东西。通常意义上General cost:是a lose of liveness General payoff是avoid responsibility。 为什么是racket? 最初在美国，当时美国禁止lottory,有些饭馆名义上是饭馆，可私下里卖彩票，进行交易。所以racket引申出来抽象出来就是指事实上进行的事情和表面上看起来的不一样的事情。 我作业里的定义是 As far as I understood, racket is used to prescribe some noises unwanted but consist in form of complaints in a relationship which could disguise the deeper intention of people. It consist of four elements, persist of complaints, pattern of behavior goes along with the complaint which could be noticeable, payoff and cost which might live in the unsaid and unaware. Briefly, sometimes racket indicates things might not be the actual situation as we already see. 如何解决racket? Racket事实上就是一种access to power，所谓的抱怨也是一种a play for power. 如何解决racket呢，ACT。 Act differently, manipulating. 承担起自己的责任来，但如何去承担？Make your responsibility real by working on forgiveness. Richard说 The rule of this life is you give something up to have something new.要得到必须懂得放弃，而放弃这种action可能导致更大的损失，情况也许会更糟。但不行动就永远得不到你想要的东西。 There is a danger to rackets, what i prepare to lose when i take action. You are responsible to how you feel now. |
|
|
