【原】我越发渺小，但从不放弃

如果说人的生命像是一个个格子组成，我的格子正在减少，这意味着生命的多样性在塌缩，在爱好和需要打磨的职业技能之间，仿佛有道鸿沟，爱好无用但可爱，职业技能重要但枯燥无比。

人活着很多时候就要在四个象限内摸索：重要且紧急、重要不紧急、不重要紧急、不重要不紧急。人生无非被这四类事情填充。

职业技能是重要且紧急的，爱好是不重要不紧急的。但是从惰性和偏爱上，你我都避重就轻，喜欢把自己安放在第四象限之中。

前几天在图书馆翻到了R奥伊肯的《人生的意义与价值》一书，有句话大意是：人最好只和自己比较。我当时眼前一亮，真想借来细读，但终究放弃，全书太过晦涩，内容艰深，而且放在新书区的，都是按照书友的意愿购买的，我又何必抢人所爱。奥伊肯说这番话的时间，大约在1910年代。

前几天，看了快递小哥夺取诗词大会冠军的新闻，准确的讲，这条新闻被360度解读，刷屏了微信朋友圈，但是激励作用明显，我又一次打开了心爱的英语APP，配音、背诵，过一下嘴瘾和眼瘾。尽管这辈子英语对我的价值，可能仅仅限于爱好，但是丝毫不影响我对她的痴情一片。

是的，我很渺小，而且越来越渺小，但是谁也夺不走我继续学习的决心。有了初始加速度，就有了做下去的勇气。

上面这张图是一款叫做百词斩的软件，寓教于乐，我已经坚持使用了480多天，我相信，集腋成裘，积沙成塔。

有个九五后的学友，每天发一段英语诗歌给我，搭配以她自己翻译的汉语，我惊讶于长江后浪推前浪的成绩，她的精心翻译，远超于我，令我汗颜。更要命的是，她的小说写得也很棒。其实想一想，歌德写浮士德，也不过在20多岁，曹禺写《雷雨》也是二十出头。

在这里，应她的要求，我朗读一篇今天发送的内容，既是鼓励自己，也是鼓励95后学友加油。因为她的未来不可限量。

The RISK  OF LOVE 

There is a risk involved in everything

Every time you share a smile

Every time you shed a tear

You are opening yourself up to hurt.

Some people tread slowly through life,

Avoiding the closeness risk brings,

Sidestepping the things they can not understand

Turning away from those who care too much

Those who care stay too long,

Those who hold too tightly.

There is never an easy way to love

You cannot approach it cautiously

It will not wait for you to arm yourself.

It does not care if you turn away

It is everywhere, it is everything.

Love is the greatest of all risks.

It is not reliable, it is not cautious,

It is not sympathetic

It is unprejudiced and unmerciful.

It strikes the strongest of mind,

And brings them to their knees in one blow.

Even in the best of times, love hurts.

It hurts to need, it hurts to belong,

It hurts to be the other part of someone else,

Without either of your consent.

But, from the moment it overtakes you,

It hurts worse to be all alone.

The risk of love never depletes;

It grows stronger and more dangerous with time.

But, it is in the total surrender of all defense,

That we, no matter weak or strong,

No matter willing or captive,

No matter what, we truly experience love.

Despite the many things love is not,

Outweighing it all are the things that love is.

Love is surrender without a loss.

It is a gift without the cost.

It consumes your every thought and desire,

Every breath you take.

It is the fire that fuels you

To do more than pass through life;

It urges you, instead, to live.

No matter the outcome, having felt love,

You will never be the same.

It may scar your heart and soul

And leave you only memories of forever.

Or, it may cause every day of your life

To feel like there is no need for tomorrow.

But, love is worth it. It is worth the risk...

For in all of life,

Love is truly the only risk worth taking.

生活也把我的时间切割的支离破碎，如同雷海为一般，在见缝插针的学习英语。但也许，只是也许，未来的某一天，这项我精心打磨的技能会迸发出火花。