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大家都希望自己的简历能特别一点，所以对于一些人所共知的禁忌和错误也都心中有数。低级的语法错误和打印错误固然绝不能犯，但是有时候幽默过头也是不妥当的，毕竟简历还是要直白客观，幽默细胞留着面试的时候再发挥吧。
致命的大错
"Finished 8th in my high school graduating class of
10."
"Qualifications: No education or experience."
"I am relatively intelligent, obedient and loyal as a puppy."
"My compensation should be at least equal to my age."
"Reason for Leaving: It had to do with the IRS, FBI and SEC."
"Fired because I fought for lower pay."
"Size of employer: Very tall, probably over 6'5" .
" "Please disregard the enclosed resume-it is terribly out of
date."
"Reason for Leaving: My boss said the end of the world is
near."
"Reason for Leaving: The owner gave new meaning to the word
'paranoia.' I prefer to elaborate
privately."
打字错误与语法错误
"Here are my qualifications for you
to overlook."
"Strengths: Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining
composer."
"I am a rabid typist."
"Work History: Performed brain wave tests,1879-1981."
"After receiving advice from several different angels, I have
decided to pursue a new line of work."
"Accounting cleric."
"As indicted, I have over five years of experience analyzing
investments."
"Suspected to graduate early next year."
"Disposed of $2.5 billion in assets."
"Proven ability to track down and correct erors."
"Accomplishments: Oversight of entire department."
"Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details."
"Accomplishments: Completed 11 years of high school."
不应有的幽默
"Note: Keep this resume on top of the stack. Use all others to heat
your house."
"Assisted in daily preparation of large quantities of consumable
items in a fast-paced setting." (Translation: Short-order
cook.)
"But wait...there's more. You get all this business knowledge plus
a grasp of marketing that is second nature."
"I have an excellent track record, although I am not a
horse."
"My fortune cookie said, 'Your next interview will result in a
job'-and I like your company in particular."
"Title: Another resume from the 'Profiles in Excellence'
series."
"Also Known As: Mr. Productivity, Mr. Clever, Mr.Fix-it."
"Trustworthy references available upon request-if I give them a few
bucks."
"Let's meet so you can 'ooh' and 'ahh' over my
experience."
（HR看到这句会囧死吧……）
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