婚姻和工作的界限

当丈夫和妻子在一起工作时，他们真的能不让家庭生活掺和在办公室吗？维维生命的主管丽萨和迈克尔.帕伦说，到现在还挺不错。维维生命是一家芝加哥的音乐营销机构。

  

LISA I’m vice president for finance and operations, and have been with the company since it started in 2003. Michael joined as our music producer in 2006, and we started dating in 2008. We married a little over a year ago. 

丽萨：我是财务运营副总裁，从2003年公司开创起就一直在这，迈克尔是在2006年加入公司当音乐制作人。我们从2008年开始约会，大概一年前结婚了。

  

MICHAEL As director of licensing and entertainment relations, I work with artists and music label executives to secure the rights to their content or to an artist’s name and likeness. 

迈克尔： 作为许可证和娱乐公关的总监，我和艺术家们以及音乐标签主管一同合作来保护他们的音乐内容或艺术家姓名等等的权利。

  

Initially, my desk  was right in front of Lisa’s in an open-space arrangement. It worked well for discussing contracts and other financial matters. That’s partly what drew us together, but to a large extent it was our interest in music. I now have an office to the left of Lisa. 

起初，在大通间的办公室里，我的桌子在丽萨的正前方。我们在讨论合同和其他财务事情时感觉很好。这是我们在一起的一部分原因，但很大程度上是我们对音乐的兴趣。现在，我的办公室在丽萨的左边。

  

LISA We decided to keep our dating a secret for more than six months. We were only 15 employees at the time and we were concerned about what our colleagues might think. 

丽萨： 我们决定保密我们的约会，大概有六个多月。当时，我们只有15个员工，我们担心其他同事会怎么想。

  

I’m privy to sensitive financial information like salaries, and didn’t want anyone to feel uncomfortable or wonder if I might be sharing information with Michael. I wanted to make sure this wasn’t just a summer love, that we had a solid relationship before we let people know. 

我不会透露诸如工资等敏感的财务信息，不想让别人感觉不舒服或者猜想我是不是和迈克尔共享信息。我想确保这不仅仅是一场短暂的夏日恋爱，而是在别人知道之前拥有一份稳定的感情。

  

We’ve since acquired a company and added two offices and 15 employees, and maybe I’d feel differently now about telling co-workers. But it was a real concern when the company was so small. 

后来我们收购了一家公司，增加了两个办公室和15名新员工，或许现在告诉同事们感觉会不一样。但是如果公司很小的话确实令人担忧。

 MICHAEL I felt the same— I wanted to feel confident about the direction we were going before letting anyone know. We both have really good positions, and we didn’t want to jeopardize that. 

  

迈克尔：我的感觉一样——我想在让其他人知道之前对我们的感情发展方向充满信心。我们两个都拥有不错的职位，我们都不想自毁前程。

  

VerveLife’s founder, Justin Jarvinen, who was C.E.O. at the time, found out about us only when he invited Lisa to his engagement party. She asked if she could bring her boyfriend, and when she showed up with me, he said he had wondered about us. But we had been careful and we took his reaction to mean we were successful. 

维维生命的创立者贾斯汀.贾维能是当时的执行总裁，一直到他邀请丽萨去参加他的订婚晚会时他才知道我们的事。丽萨问他可不可以带男朋友，结果她和我一起露面了，贾斯汀说他之前有猜想过我们。但是我们一直都很小心，我们就把他的反应当作是对我们保密成功的认可。

  

To us, it’s normal to be married and work together. We’re both 29, and I think it’s become more common to meet your future spouse at work. It’s not an eight-hour workday anymore; everyone seems to be working longer hours. Plus, this is a fun industry and we enjoy a lot of perks. We go to concerts together, or out to dinner a lot. With the amount of time you spend together outside work, it’s easy for a relationship to develop. 

对我们来说，结婚、在一起工作很正常。我们都29了，我想在工作中遇到你未来的一半应该更常见。现在已不再是8小时工作日，每个人看似都工作的更久。而且这是一个有趣的行业，我们享受很多意外的收获。我们一起去看演唱会，或者经常去吃晚餐。在工作之外呆在一起的时间让我们的感情发展很轻松。

   

LISA I know that large corporations sometimes have policies about spouses working together. Our company doesn’t, and I haven’t sensed any resentment from people in our office about us being married. Everyone seems to have fully accepted our relationship. 

丽萨：我知道大公司有时候会有关于不准夫妻公事的规定。但是我们公司没有，我也没有感觉到办公室其他人因为我们结婚而表现出任何敌意。每个人看起来都完全接受我们的关系。

   

Maybe some people aren’t being honest, but I’ve never had issues arise. When people find out we’re married, they just say, ‘That’s cool,” or “How is that?” It’s a conversation starter. 

也许有些人不会表现出来，但是我从来没碰到什么问题。同事们发现我们结婚时，他们只是说，“太棒了，”或者“怎么回事啊？”然后开始聊天。

  

I’m comfortable working with my husband. Michael and I know several other people our age who are married and working together. 

和我丈夫一起工作很舒服。迈克尔和我知道好几对和我们年纪差不多在一起工作的夫妻。

  

In our case, the only drawback I see is that I can’t share certain information with him. But over all, that’s minor, and there are so many other things to talk about. Probably not everyone would say this, but we think it’s nice to work with your spouse. Our main investor and his wife have worked together for years. They’re role models for us. 

在我们这段关系中，我看到的唯一缺点就是我不能和他分享某些信息。但总的来说，这都是小事，我们有很多可以谈论的话题。可能不是每个人都会这样说，但是我们认为和自己的另一半共事很不错。我们的主投资人和他妻子在一起工作了很多年，他们是我们的典范。

  

MICHAEL We do everything as a twosome, from sharing our commute to working out to eating lunch. A lot of people are surprised we spend so much time together, but we work well with each other and know our boundaries. 

迈克尔： 我们做什么事都在一起，一起坐车上班，一起吃午饭。很多人对我们花那么多时间在一起感到惊奇，但是我们工作协调的很好，清楚我们的界限。

  

Professionalism is all-important. While we’re at the office we’re there to work. We take it as a compliment when clients we’ve both worked with say they didn’t realize we were married. Then, when we go home, it’s time to decompress and focus on each other. We don’t want to bring work into the time that’s sacred for us. We’ve learned how to balance work and free time. 

职业是最重要的。我们在办公室时我们就在那工作。当和我们两人共事的客户说不知道我们结婚时，我们把它当做是一种赞美。然后，回到家中，我们放下压力，关心彼此。我们不想把工作带到我们的宝贵时间中。我们已经学会如何平衡工作和休闲时间。

LISA Once on our commute we had a disagreement, but we talked it out by the time we reached the office. And though we like being together, we do get breaks from each other. Mike travels for work occasionally, or he’ll play sports with his friends or entertain clients at concerts. I have a big family and spend time with them by myself occasionally. 

丽萨：有一次在上班路上我们有了一点争执，但是我们一直到办公室才说出来。尽管我们喜欢在一起，我们也有各自的空间。迈克有时候要出差，或者他会和朋友去运动，或招待客户去演唱会。我有一个大家庭，我也时常和家人呆在一起。

   

MICHAEL I don’t know what’s in our future, or how we’ll feel 10 years from now about working at the same company. I can’t see ever getting tired of spending so much time with Lisa. There are a lot of what-ifs we might face. For example, if our company were to be bought by a bigger corporation, there may be some adjustments with that. We’re just going to take it as it comes. 

迈克尔：我不知道未来会有什么，或者10年后我们对于在同一家公司上班会有什么样的感觉。我从不愿舍弃和丽萨在一起的时间。我们有很多假如需要去面对。例如，如果公司被一家更大的公司收购，也许要做一些调整。来时再接招。

  

LISA We know there will be changes in the coming years, such as when children arrive, but we handle a lot of responsibility now. I’d like to think we’ll be up to the challenges. 

丽萨：我们清楚以后会有一些变化，比如有了孩子，但是我们现在处理了很多事情。我想我们能胜任那些挑战。