爱情故事，为什么让你肝肠寸断？

爱情故事，为什么让你肝肠寸断？

Many heartwrenching love stories share the common trait of heartbreak – due to miscommunication, which happens in two ways – not communicating one’s true thoughts and feelings in time, and wrongly assuming what the other’s true thoughts and feelings are. The only way to heal such heartaches is… yes, you guessed it – communication. With the world being tightly interconnected by the net today, it is much easier to trace the hearts you have broken, and the ones whom your heart had broken over… to re-communicate, to set the record right, even if it is just for the record, so as to have a sense of closure. Closure, however, does not mean all is over for good, for true closure opens new doors of karmic affinity too, offering new possibilities. Even if romantic love is now out of the question, isn’t genuine friendship possible? Why let a relationship become estranged and wasted over misunderstandings when you can clear the air? It would be truly heartbreaking if they are not resolved in time – when one party departs before the other. Do communicate while there is still time! It doesn’t matter if what you wish to communicate is well received or not, as long as you convey it sincerely, freeing yourself from regret.

众多撕心裂肺的爱情故事都有一个共同的特点，那就是催人心碎。究其原因呢，多半是因为两方面不当的的交流，一方面是没有及时地与对方沟通自己的真实感受和想法，另一方面就是错误地估计了对方的感受和想法。而欲疗心伤的唯一方法，也许你已经猜到了，没错，就是交流。当我们用话语让尘世紧密相连时，也更易记录下你曾让谁心碎，谁又曾让你的心支破碎。即使只是为了记下曾经的心伤，亦或是为了能一个了结，重新交流，澄清误会。了结，然而，并不意味永远结束，因为一段情缘的了结势必展开一段新的姻缘，带来新的机会。要想挽回缠绵悱恻的爱情是不可能的了，难道纯洁真挚的友谊也不可能吗？当误解完全可以消除时，你为什么还要任由其疏远熄灭你们之间的爱意呢？尤其是当一方先登极乐世界，误会却没有及时地澄清，只留下伤悲沉沉。所以当时光还在时，和他交流吧，不管他有没有接受你的想法，只要是真心实意，日后也不用感到后悔。

As the Buddha taught in the Dhammapada, ‘There are those who do not realise that one day we all must die. But those who do realise this settle their quarrels.’ In the movie, ‘You Are The Apple Of My Eye’, there is an earthquake scene, which shook many wide awake in the still of the night. Everyone suddenly whips out their mobile phones to call their loved ones living elsewhere, to check if they are alright. The protagonist guy holds up his phone to check for reception, as he runs away from the crowd hogging the airwaves. Finally, he manages to connect, or rather, reconnect, with the girl he had a serious crush upon, and was assured that she was okay. Despite a two-year lapse in communication due to a conflict, the earthquake was a wake-up call, on the urgency to reconcile, to express his deep care and concern despite a petty grudge. Furthering what the Buddha said, not only will we die one day, this one day can arrive abruptly indeed, via sudden disasters. Life is too short to make one another suffer by nursing regrets and resentment, especially when they are resolvable. Even if they are no longer resolvable in person, it is also senseless to continue nursing regrets and resentment.

佛言中的法句经写道，愚人不知，世人皆有一死，唯智者晓知而平其争。电影《那些年，我们一起追过的女孩》中有一个地震发生后的场景，寂静深夜，大家被地震警醒，每一个人都匆忙掏出自己的手机打给深爱的人，想知道他们是否安好。远离人群以望能获得信号的男主角高高举起他的手机查看，最后，他终于能够联系或者说是重新联系那个他曾深深爱过的女孩，并确定了她的安全。因为一个口角，他们已两年疏于交流，而此时的地震迫使他妥协并忽视那微不足道的踌躇，向女孩表达深切的关爱。佛经中还说，某一天，我们会死去，这一天也许会不期而至，意外，急病都有可能。生命如此短暂，就不应让彼此深受愧疚，怨恨之苦，特别是当它们还可化解的时候。即自身无法化解，如此愧疚怨恨下去也没有任何意义。

One might as well focus on resolving other conflicts and maintain other surviving relationships well, lest new regrets and resentment form. For making peace with the deceased, one can also share merits for their well-being. In the same movie, there was much ambivalence over the guy and girl in affirming their love for each other. The guy struggles to be accepted, while the girl hesitates accepting him. True Love just loves though. It is not conditioned by acceptance or rejection, never mistaking physical intimacy as crucial, since it can be loveless and lustful instead. Why not just love on in acceptable ways without yearning for more, if the love is true? While one might be ambivalent in committing, there is no need to be ambivalent in being caring. Why let pride be in the way of love, unless your ego is your one True Love? The Bodhisattvas openly declare their True Love for all beings, and love on even when unappreciated! If the ego obstructs even the loving of one person, is one ready to embrace many? Possible – only if one’s love is already more spiritual than worldly in nature. May all beings be slow to hate and swift to love one another, with as few conditions as possible!    

有人会花更多的心思在解决其它的冲突和维持生存的关系上，以形成新的悔恨和怨恨。与逝者和解的人也可以分享其福祉功德。在上文提到的电影中，许多男男女女们承认感情时都感到矛盾，男孩努力地想让女孩接受自己， 而女孩却犹豫不决。真爱坎坷，它不应受制于接受或拒绝与否，也不要错把身体上的亲密放在最后要的位置，因为这样变成没有爱情有堕落。如果是真爱，为什么还过多要求，难道以恰当方式爱着还不够吗？也许不愿承认，但被关心着没有什么好矛盾的。为什么让骄傲成为爱情的绊脚石呢，除非你觉得你的自尊就是你的真爱！菩萨大言爱泽苍生万物，即使没有得到感恩也不会停止。如果骄傲阻挡了你示爱或者去爱一个人有道路，那你还能去爱更多的人吗？这样也不是没有可能的，只要你的爱已经上升到了精神多于物质的境界。希望所有的人都能少于条件的钝于恨而乐于爱。