我想改变世界——拜伦·普尔西弗改变是人生中一个艰难的抉择。你有过多少次想要帮助别人改变他们的生活方式，但最后往往发现他们依旧保持一贯的行为方式和生活态度，沿着过去的生活轨迹继续前行？只要你愿意，你可以举出各式理性的依据，但是一切仍然是老样子。 几年前，我经历了一次类似的挑战。这次经历与我的一名工作人员有关。当时，我们开展服务的方式确实需要改变。我特别需要所有人都能参与这种改变。这个员工的问题既不是她不理解改变的必要性，也不是她没有改变所需要的经验和知识。她不想改变是因为她一直按照老方式工作，而且并没有看到新的工作方式给她带来的好处。所以，对我的挑战就是要找到特别的好处给她，这样她就会认识到改变对于她是有特殊的好处的。最后，我私下里跟她谈了一次，并把她愿意为之改变的好处讲给她听。
By Byron
Pulsifer, (c) 2011
Change is one of the
tough choices in life. How many times have you wanted to help someone else
change their ways only to find that they keep moving on in the same direction
and with the same behaviours and attitudes? You can present as many rational
arguments as you want but still the same old same old. Take for example, a colleague at work who keeps doing the same job over and
over again despite the need to adopt new ways, or more efficient ways to get the
job done. What is the reason for this lack of adaptation? One reason may be that
they are too set in a comfort zone because that is the way that has always
worked for them and they know it cold. To ask them to adopt a new method of
working requires them to move out of their comfort zone, and to take a risk that
they might not be able to adopt the new procedure without making a mistake. For several years, I worked in the social justice area and spoke to many
hundreds if inmates in provincial prisons, and to inmates on their way to
federal penitentiary. During these hundreds of conversations, one theme began to
show over and over again. That theme was this: there was nothing I could say or
do that would help them to change their life simply because they did not want
to. To make any kind of change, one has to have the will and determination to do
it. There is only one who can do it and that is the person who is in charge of
their own destiny. The same applies to addicts of any sort. An addict can be sent to a detox
centre but upon release, the only decision to get involved again with the
addictive substance is the person. Each person has a choice; the choice to do as one may wish and as one wants
remains with the individual. If a person sees no benefit to change, they will
not change. Several years ago, I experienced a similar challenge with one of my staff
members. There was a real need to change the way we conducted our service and I
desperately needed everyone on board. Part of the issue with this particular
person wasn’t that they did not understand the need to change, nor was it that
they did not have the experience and knowledge to change. It was really a matter
that they did not want to adapt because they had always done it the old way and
saw no benefit to doing their particular service in a new way. So, my challenge
was to find a special benefit to them so they would decide that to change would
be of special benefit to them. In the end, I was able to speak privately with
this staff member and outline a special benefit to them that would satisfy her
to want to change. If you want to help someone change, they must first want to change. If they
do not want to change it is the same thing as leading a horse to water. You can
get the horse there but you can't make them drink. The story below, which was
written by an Unknown Monk, in 1100 A.D., reflects we can only change ourselves.
When I was a young man, I wanted to change the world. I found it was
difficult to change the world, so I tried to change my nation. When I found I
couldn't change the nation, I began to focus on my town. I couldn't change the
town and as an older man, I tried to change my family. Now, as an old
man, I realize the only thing I can change is myself, and suddenly I realize
that if long ago I had changed myself, I could have made an impact on my family.
My family and I could have made an impact on our town. Their impact could have
changed the nation and I could indeed have changed the world." |
|
|
