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摘 要：本文探讨中学生英语写作中在用词和句式选择方面存在的缺陷，字阐释原因的基础上提出解决途径，并通过剖析范文，指明中学生英文写作中应注意的问题，以期为其提高英文写作水平提出可操作性的建议和方法。 关键词：中学生；英语作文；用词；句式 Abstract: this essay probes into the defects in the choice of both English words and English sentence patterns in Chinese middle school students’ English language writing. Based on a detailed explanation of the cause of the said defects, the author puts forward relevant resolutions. Also, by means of analyzing some model compositions, the author comes up with several points which Chinese middle school students are supposed to pay attention to in their English language writing, for the purpose of giving practical suggestions and methods for the improvement of their English language writing. Key words: middle school students, English language writing, the use of words, sentence patterns 中学英语写作在中学英语教学中占据重要位置，是学生应掌握的四项（听、说、读、写）技能之一。中考和高考英语测试题中亦均有对学生写作能力的考查。从现行中学英语教学中英语写作的实际效果来看，中学生的英语写作能力尚不能令人满意，其英语作文在内容和用语两个方面均存在诸多问题。如，内容空洞，缺乏说服力；结构混乱，逻辑关系不当；套用母语写作模式，无病呻吟，乱表“决心”，文风做作；中式英文充斥其中等。本文在此无意对中学生英语写作内容方面的上述问题进行深入讨论，而着重探讨中学英语写作中用词和句式的缺陷与不足，分析其原因，并提出解决途径，同时通过对某些学生习作或范文的具体剖析，指明中学生写作中应注意的问题，从而为其提高写作水平提出可操作性的建议和方法。 一、写作缺陷 ㈠ 不注意使用衔接词，文章缺乏连贯性和逻辑性 衔接词是段落中起承转衔接作用的词或短语，用以说明前后句子或语意之间的关系，借以提高段落的连贯性和逻辑性，并有利于读者跟上作者的思路。衔接词根据其含义可分为不同种类，表示举例、对比、结果、让步、总结、强调等。 中学生英语写作中，较为明显的缺陷与不足之一是忽视衔接词的使用。他们往往只注重英文语句之间的含义联系，未意识到应将英文句子用各种衔接词前后串联起来，借以提高段落的整体连贯性。如，在表达“王明今天要在家照顾母亲，他母亲病了。”时，不少同学用英文这样写道： Wang Ming had to stay at home to look after his mother. His mother was ill. 如果进行如下改写，文章会衔接自然，具有较强的连贯性： Wang Ming had to stay at home to look after his mother, for she was ill. 或者： Wang Ming’s mother was ill, so he had to stay at home to look after her. 当然, 本句若不使用衔接词，而时使用定语从句，也能解决问题。 Wang Ming had to stay at home to look after his mother, who was ill. ㈡ 用词单调重复，缺乏新意 不少中学生在英语写作过程中，欲表达相同或相近意思时，常有意无意地通篇使用完全相同的词汇或短语，而未考虑或意识到应避免用词重复。这样给读者产生的印象是：文章措辞单调乏味，缺乏吸引力和新鲜感，可读性差。如，在表达“许多中学生每天花费好几个小时的时间上网。这对他们的学习产生了不利影响。很多家长都反对孩子上网。”时，不少学生写道： Many middle school students spend many hours a day visiting the Internet. This has produced an unfavorable influence on their studies. Many parents are against their children’s visiting the Internet. 上面短短三句话中，有三处使用了many, 令读者感到作者词汇之贫乏。另外，三个句子之间也缺乏必要的衔接词或关系词，致使句与句子之间的联系不够紧凑、连贯。为此，可进行如下修改： A large number of middle school students spend several hours a day visiting the Internet, which has produced an unfavorable influence on their studies. Therefore, lots of parents are against their children’s visiting the Internet. ㈢ 句式结果单调，简单句偏多 英语句子按其结构可分为简单句、并列句、复合句和并列复合句。欲令文章具有吸引力，应保持句式多变、结构丰富；否则，句式结构千篇一律，会令读者感到单调发味，也不利于明确和突出文章的中心思想。为保持句式结构的多样性，可将各种句式混用。如，长短句搭配使用，并交叉运用不同的主从结构、并列结构、倒装结构等，以求收到句式多变并突出重点的效果。具体说来，可将某些简单句改为并列句或从句，而穿插保留一小部分长短不等的简单句；将某些使用较多的“主－动－宾（SVO）”基本句型的开头部分，变换为短语（如副词短语、分词短语、介词短语）、从句（如由when, because, although, if等连接词引导的状语从句），或使用并列连词（and, but等）或连接副词（however, actually, consequently等）。 上述两例已经充分说明了这一问题。学生写出的上诉英文句子多为简单句，句式结构单一，而且前后句之间缺乏衔接词。第二例中修改后的英文，使用了定语从句和衔接词Therefore, 使得前后句较为紧凑，衔接自然，句式多变，因而可读性较强。 ㈣ 段落层次不清 中学阶段的英文写作，内容较为简单，篇幅不要求太长，次数也不要求过多（一般100词左右即可），这样就给不少同学一种误解：整篇作文有一个段落即可。在这种错误意识的支配下，不少同学写英文作文时，只有作文题目没有特别做出分段要求，即使当然地仅写一个段落，而从不考虑根据文章的内容安排、段落层次和逻辑结构进行分段写作。这样的文章会令读者感觉缺乏层次感，或逻辑性不强。诚然，根据所写文章的具体内容，可能会有个别文章仅需一个段落即可，但绝大多数文章是可以并且应该分段的。试看以下例证。 A Clever Boy It was Sunday and Tom didn’t go to school. So his father asked him to paint. He took out three apples and told Tom to draw as many apples as on the table. Tom loved playing football and didn’t like painting. He thought it would be too hard for him to draw so many apples. So he thought and then he had an idea. He ate up two of the three apples and then there was only one apple left on the table. He finished his painting and went out to play, leaving his work on the table. When his father came back and saw the painting, he was surprised to see there was only one apple on the table and his son was no longer there. 这是一篇初中作文范文。应该说，文章语句较为流畅，前后内容衔接自然，不失为一篇不错的英文短文。然而，短文还留有一点缺憾，即未分段，缺乏段落层次感。 二、原因探析 ㈠ 学生深受母语影响，对中英文的行为特点和写作习惯的差异缺乏足够认识，致其忽视对衔接词的使用。 在文章行文的连贯性方面，中文强调“意合”，注重段落的内容、含义本身的上下连贯性，而并不强调衔接词的使用；与此相反，英文强调“形合”，讲究通过衔接词引领段落乃至整篇文章中语意的前后关系。中国学生深受母语影响，对上述中英文段落行文的差异缺乏足够的认识和重视，致其在进行英文写作时想当然地遵照母语写作的模式和习惯进行而忽视衔接词的使用，加之有些教师亦对衔接词在英文篇章中所具有的不可或缺的衔接作用认识不足从而未能不断提醒学生予以重视，无意中强化了学生对英文衔接词使用的忽视程度。 (二)学生词汇量贫乏以及用词考究意识淡漠，导致其行文中相同词汇的重复使用。 在行文中，无论英文或中文，反复使用同一词汇或短语，自然会令读者生厌，丧失阅读兴趣。目前，不少中学生对此尚缺乏足够的认识，认为写出的英文能表达思想即可，在此思想支配下，他们殊少考虑英文写作中避免用词单调重复的问题。另外，有些同学已经意识到最好能够广泛使用近．义词或同义词，借以增强语言的丰富性和表现力，但囿于其有限的词汇量以及对有些同义词或近义词的区别与联系把握不足，致其深感“心有余而力不足”，无法或不敢奢求对用词丰富性和多样性的考究。如，表达“许多”时，有的同学想 起有不少近义词(如many，a large number of；lots of ，plenty of；much，a great deal of ，a large amount of)可供选用，但又对有些词组的区别有些含糊，便反复使用正确性较有把握的某一个词或短语。 (三)学生语法知识不牢，对英文句式结构缺乏知识把握和多样化意识，致其使用简单句偏多 目前出现的一个较为普遍的现象是，为数不少的中学生不肯用心学习和掌握基本语法知识，甚至一提语法即表现出反感情绪；而不少教师亦轻视对语法的专门、系统讲授，当所讲课文语句涉及某语法现象时仅仅简单举例说明了事，致使学生缺乏对某些语法现象的整体准确把握，对定语从句、非限定动词等语法现象仅满足于简单识别，而远远谈不上主动、准确地运用到写作中去。而“淡化语法教学”的呼声以及英文试卷中专门语法类试题的削弱，更强化了师生对语法的忽视程度，致使学生语法知识不牢，写作中语病层出不穷，更难奢求其英文句式结构的多样化意识和实践。 另外，教师自然了解学生的语法知识欠缺，遂“巧妙地”提出学生写作时的“万全之策”，即：鉴于写作中使用复合句出错率较高，为“保险”起见，多用简单句；同时，试卷评阅人对简单句过多、句式结构缺乏多样性的英文作文，大多表现出宽容，只要文章语句基本通顺，内容基本完整，所判分值较之那些句式结构多变的作文相差无几。教师和评卷人的上述宽容心态，助长了学生对语法知识的系统掌握和写作中对句式结构多样化的追求，并造成语法知识和写作技能二者相互影响、日益恶化的恶性循环。 (四)学生缺乏文章分段意识或对段落逻辑性的考虑，导致仅写一个段落或段落层次不清 前面已经提及，中学英文写作内容较为简单，篇幅较短，词数不多，不少同学误以为整篇作文有一个段落未尝不可，而不注意根据文章层次和结构进行分段写作。需要指出的是，也有一些同学注意了分段写作问题，但随意分段，导致分段不科学，缺乏逻辑性。学生写作中仅写一个段落或段落层次不清，究其原因，不难发现，不少教师对学生写作分段问题未予以高度关注，而仅强调在达到语句基本通顺，内容基本完整的前提下，符合字数要求即可。无疑，他们忽视了中学生英文写作中段落层次和逻辑结构的重要性。而作文评阅人对此也经常网开一面，对写作不分段现象减分甚少。 三、解决途径 （一） 归纳衔接词或常用句式，尝试用于写作中 中学生在平时的英语学习过程中，应该有意识地收集写作中使用率较高的某些衔接词，并予以归纳整理，然后尝试将其运用到自己的习作中去。当然，在这一方面，教师也责无旁贷。另外，中学生还应增加英文阅读量，注意观察英文文章中衔接词的使用，继而揣摩，进而模仿使用。 以下是笔者归纳的一些常见衔接词、短语或句式。建议学生熟记于心，并有意识地运用于平时的习作中。有些地方提供了若干近义词(组)，系考虑向中学生提供多种衔接词的选择，并强化其用词多样化的意识。有些学生或许认为，有些词汇“超纲”，但鉴于这些常用词对写作的特殊意义，早些知悉亦未尝不可，何况不少词本是某些常见词的派生词而已，记忆起来并无难度。 值得一提的是，此处有些近义词(组)可以相互替换使用，但有些却存在含义或用法上的区别，应注意借助工具书等予以明确区分以免用错。限于篇幅，本文对此不作进一步解释。 1．导人。一般说来：generally speaking，as a general rule，in general 从一定意义上说：in a way，to some extent，to a certain degree 在我看来(我认为，据我所知)：In my opinion…． As far as I know (am concerned)…，At an individual leve1,I feel that… To the best of my knowledge…，Personally，I suppose!… I think (suppose，maintain，believe，feel，reckon，hold the opinion／view) that．．． 2．比较：similarly，likewise，in the same way；unlike 3．列举或附加：for example，for instance；such as；namely，that is；above all，in the first place，first of all，to begin with，to start with，first and foremost in the second place also，besides，furthermore，moreover，in addition，what is more；finally，eventually For one thing，．．．For another；on the one hand…，On the other hand… 4．原因：owing to，on account of , as a result of because of, thanks to；in view of , seeing that，considering, The reasons why…, are as follows:／there are several reasons why… 5．结果as a result，consequently，therefore，thus；such being the case，under such circumstances 6．强调：indeed；as a matter of fact，in reality，in fact，in essence，actually；in other words，after all，doubtlessly，no doubt，needless to say，naturally，of course，admittedly 7．转折或对照：although；regardless of, in spite of；nonetheless，nevertheless；conversely，on the contrary；in sharp contrast，by contrast 8．时间：after a while，as soon as，in the meantime，meanwhile，recently，lately，presently，so far，for the time being，at present 9．结论：to sum up，to conclude；in conclusion，in a word，in short，in all，in brief, n summary；on the whole，in the long run 10．论说文常用短语或句式： 毋庸讳言：It goes without saying that… 不可否认：There is no denying the fact that… 一般认为：It is generally believed／thought that… It is commonly held that… It is universally acknowledged that．．．It is generally accepted that．．． 与一般看法相反／不同，我认为……：Contrary to generally accepted ideas, I argue that… 相比之下，A比B更有利。By contrast，A is blessed with more advantages． By contrast, A enjoys a distinct advantage over B．利大于弊。The advantages outweigh the disadvantages． 对此问题，人们态度不一。People’s attitudes towards the problem vary from person to person． 众说纷纭，莫衷一是。Opinions vary from individual to individual． 这一观点的主要问题是，它忽略了一个基本事实，即… The main problem with this argument is that it is ignorant of the basic fact that… 乍想起来，此观点似有道理，但仔细分析起来，就会发现…… At first thought，it may seem a reasonable idea，but on closer analysis we find that．．． 大多数人认为……：People at large believe／maintain that; The vast majority of people reckon (hold the opinion) that 越来越多的人倾向于认为……：A significantly increasing number of people tend to believe that．．． (二)扩大词汇量，并注意积累某些常见词的同义词和近义词 中学生要在扩大词汇量的同时，注意积累、辨别近义词、同义词，并有意识地将其用于平时的英文习作中，以训练英文的语言丰富性和表现力。当然，应特别注意：平时要留意并通过阅读英文材料品味某些近义词、同义词的区别与联系，注意其使用场合，确保英文写作中用词准确，语法正确，搭配适当。 举例来说，表示“强调，注重”，我们可以使用下列近义词(组：stress，emphasize，lay (put，place) emphasis on，lay (put，place) stress on，highlight，pay close attention to，attach importance to，express deep concern at，make much account of。表示“许多”，上面已经提到，有many，a large number of lots of, plenty of；much．a great deal of, a large amount of等可供选择，但要弄清它们的区别：many，a large number of修饰可数名词；lots of, plenty of修饰可数或不可数名词；much，a great deal of, a large amount of修饰不可数名词。再如，表示“有时”，不必总考虑使用sometimes，还要想到另有at times，from time to time，on occasions，there are times when (接从句)…可用。表示“花费(时间)”，可用动词cost，spend，take，但应注意它们的主语不同。如，表达“他们花费了三天时间完成了这项任务。”可说成：They spent three days (in) completing the task．／It took them three days to complete the task．／The task cost them three days． （三)掌握基本句型和各种从句、非限定动词等的运用规则，多尝试练习句型间的转换，并有意识地运用于写作中 关于句型间的转换，现略举数例，以示一斑。希望中学生能获得启发，在英文写作中尝试使用多变的句式结构。 They will spend millions of dollars on the project．（主动--语态与被动语态间的转换) Millions of dollars will be spent on the project． I will always remember his advice．(肯定句与否定句间的转换)→I will never forget his advice． He had saved a lot of money，and he wished to buy a computer．(并列句与复合句的转换)→ After he had saved a lot of money, he wished to buy a computer． He said to the boys,“Please don’t make so much noise．” (直接引语与间接引语的转换) →He told the boys not to make so much noise． They decided to make every effort to protect those animals．(不同词类间的转换) →They made a decision (made up their minds) to make every effort to protect those animals． He did not realize his mistakes．(不同词类间的转换) → He was not aware of his mistakes． The meeting is very important．(不同词类间的转换) →The meeting is of great importance． I told her what she should do next．(复合句转化为含不定式的简单句) →I told her what to do next． I was deeply moved by his words．I made up my mind to mend my ways．(以分词或从句合并简单句) →Deeply moved by his words, I made up mind to mend my ways．→As 1 was deeply moved by his words，I determined to turn over a new leaf. The child had no money．He had to beg．He would be starved．(以连词等合并简单句) →The child had no money，so he had to beg, otherwise，he would be starved． She wrote a letter，and thanked him for his help．(并列句转化为含分词的简单句) →She wrote a letter, thanking him for his help． When night fell，we went home．(复合句转化为含独立结构的简单句) →Night falling，we went home． Finally I found the girl．In front of her stood a boy．(简单句合并为复合句) →Finally I found the girl，in front of whom stood a boy． In spite of the bad weather, they continued their football match．(通过将介词短语转化为从句，使简单句转换为复合句) →Although the weather was bad，they continued their football match． The child is too young to lift such a heavy box．(含不定式的简单句转化为复合句) →The child is so young that he cannot lift such a heavy box． Wang Ming had to stay at home to look after his mother，for she was i11．(并列句转化为含定语从句的复合句) →Wang Ming had to stay at home to look after his mother，who was ill． Then he met Mary，and she invited him to a party．(并列句转化为复合句) →Then he met Mary，who invited him to a party． A boy would be laughed at if he meant to do such a thing．(复合句转化为复合句) →A boy who meant to do such a thing would be laughed at． He said he was busy，which was untrue．(复合句转化为复合句) →He said he was busy，though it was untrue． (四)注意将短文分段叙述，并理清段落之间的逻辑关系 如前所述，有些中学生对英文写作分段问题存有错误认识，以为英文写作内容简单，篇幅较短，只写一个段落即可；而有些中学生随意或不当分段，导致分段缺乏逻辑性。有鉴于此，中学生在英文写作中，应注意培养和提高分段意识，充分考虑文章的段落层次和各段逻辑关系，而不能仅满足于语句基本通顺，内容基本完整，符合字数要求。教师亦应不断提醒学生注意英文写作中段落层次和逻辑结构的重要性。而作文评分标准对此也应有明确要求。 本文最先所述那篇初中范文，虽说语句较为流畅，但缺乏段落层次感。若做如下分段处理，并稍加润饰，短文会更具可读性。 It was Sunday，and Tom didn’t go to schoo1．So his father asked him to paint． Tom’s father took out three apples and told Tom to draw as many apples as on the table．But Tom loved playing football and didn’t like painting．He believed it would be too hard for him to draw so many apples．So he thought and thought, and then he had an idea．He ate up two of the three apples, and then there was only one apple left on the table．As a result，he finished his painting and went out to play，leaving his work on the table． When Tom’s father came back and saw the painting，he was surprised to find that there was only one apple on the table and that his son was no longer there． 四、范文评析 2006年高考英语试卷(浙江卷) 当前，不少文学作品被改编成电影。有人选择看电影，有人则喜欢读原著。请你以“Film or book，which do you prefer?”为题，按照下列要点写一篇英语短文：(1)看电影：省时、有趣、易懂。(2)读原著：细节更多，语言优美。(3)我的看法及理由。 以下为一篇范文。 Film or book，which do you prefer? Some of US think that it is better to see the film than to read the book in the original．The reason is that it takes less time to understand the whole story．Besides，the film is usually more interesting，and it is easier to follow． Some others have just the opposite opinion．They think that they can get more detailed information from the original. Meanwhile，the language in the book is possibly more lively and beautiful. Personally．I agree with the second view．Actually, I have more reasons for it．I think I can stay at home, reading quietly in a situation of may own，and what’s more，I am able to better understand the author's ideas．In a word，to read the original Work is better than to see the film based on it． 该短文在衔接词和近义词的运用，多种句式表达，以及短文分段方面，处理得也不错。兹简要评述如下： 1．注意使用衔接词。文章第1段使用Besides；第2段使用Meanwhile；第3段则使用Personally，Actually，and what’s more，以及In a word。每段各句之间和不同段落之间 前后衔接自然、连贯。 当然，第2段首句若改为Some others，however，have just the opposite opinion．则段落之间的连贯性和逻辑性会更强。 2．同义词和近义词使用方面亦有所考虑，但稍显不足。如，末段第3句先使用can，随后使用其同义词组am able to，值得肯定。但另有一些地方频繁使用相同词汇，这令文章留下一点缺憾。如，3个段落中均使用think，其实后两个段落中的think完全可换用其他同义词。本文在前面“三、解决途径”中开头部分的衔接词或常用句式归纳部分，对此已有述及，不再赘述。 3．适当考虑了表达句式的多样化。如，第1段采用了宾语从句和表语从句；第3段则使用了由现在分词充当的伴随状语，即reading quietly in a situation of my own，以及由过去分词充当的后置定语，即based on it。 4．短文分段，层次清晰。全文共分3段：第1段提出有些人的观点和理由，第2段说明另一些人的不同观点和理由，第3段则论述作者本人的观点，即同意第2种看法，并进一步给出了更多理由。文章层次感强，结构合理。 参考文献 [1]中华人民共和国教育部．全日制义务教育普通高级中学英语课程标准(实验稿)．北京：北京师范大学出版社, 2001．1 [2]何向明．现代实用英语写作大全．北京：中国文史出版社，1998．81 [3]非常英语研究开发中心．非常英语考点透视一中考英语书面表达．北京．外文文出版社，2006．139 [4]商小民．英语最新中考真题集．北京：外语教学与研究出版社，2006．116 [5]《学生双语报》英禾图书工作室．2006年高考英语真题汇编．北京：外语教学与研究出版社，2006．151 |
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