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Congrats, you two are happily engaged! 恭喜，有情人终成眷属！ 1. Get your heart broken. 伤心欲绝。 Sounds cliche, but true. Dealing with a breakup teaches you about what went wrong in your relationship and how you can prevent them from happening again. 听起来陈腔滥调，但这是真理。只有经历了分手，你才能知道恋爱中的病端，才懂得防患于未然。 2. Experiment With Online Dating. 尝试网恋。 You need to learn to take credit for all your strengths and general awesomeness right? 你需要学会从自己所有的优点和人格魅力中获得甜头。 3. Learn From Your Relationship Mistakes. 从恋爱过失中汲取教训。 Look back at your past? What part did you play in the destruction of that relationship? Did you take them for granted? Were you neglectful? Critical? These are all very important things to ask yourself before moving on to a new relationship so you can be a better version of you and not make the same mistake. 你会否回首过往？在那段失败的恋情中你做了怎样出格的事？你是否觉得犯错理所应当？恋爱中的你是粗枝大叶还是刻薄挑剔？在发展新恋情前，你都要问问自己这些极其重要的问题，以此便能塑造更好的一面，同时也能避免重蹈覆辙。 4. Fall in Love, More Than Once. 真爱不止一次。 You need to find out what kind of relationship or partner you want for the rest of your life, so get out there and figure it out. 你得清楚自己需要什么样的爱情或者余生中要和谁相伴，所以，鼓起勇气去寻找答案吧。 5. Come Up With a Definitive List of What You Won’t Compromise On in a Relationship. 恋爱时，挑明你的底线。 These are normally called deal breakers. You have values that your partner shouldn’t make you compromise just like they have values that you shouldn’t ask them to compromise either. Talk it out and see where each of you stand. 这通常叫做爱情杀手。你有自己的一套价值观，爱人不能打破。正如对方也有自己不被你所破坏的价值观一样。把这些都说出来，看看你们共同点在哪。 6. Learn to Trust Others. 学着信任他人。 Trust is one of the most important thing to have in a relationship. If you don’t trust your future partner, how will you create a solid marriage? 恋爱中，信任是最重要的一点之一。如果你不信任未来的伴侣，何谈牢固的婚姻呢？ 7. Learn Not to Make Being Married Your Sole Identity. 不要全身心地附庸于婚姻。 You need to be your own person and not to rely on someone else solely to define you. 你需要有独立的人格，而非毫无保留地去依赖某人，让别人成全你的人生。 8. Spend Time Alone. 花时间独处。 The more comfortable you are with yourself, the more likely you are to attract someone who will be comfortable with you. 独处的你越是舒服安适，你就越能够吸引气息相投的人。 9. Get to Know All the Facts. 清楚生活琐事。 You need to talk about all the boring stuff, like financial matters and health before taking the leap into marriage. Would you rather find out your partner is $30,000 in debt before you got married, or after? 在走向婚姻前，你们需要谈及到所有了无生趣的事情，比如经济和健康问题。你宁愿在婚前还是婚后发现对方欠了30,000美元债务？ 10. Live with someone that is not a member of your family. 跟非家庭成员同居。 Think of it as testing the waters before getting married. You want to know if you can live with your future spouse! 将其当做试婚。你得知道自己是否能够与未来伴侣相处！ 11. Spend some time on your career. 花点时间拼搏事业。 Again, cliche but true. You need to work on yourself before being able to fully commit in a relationship. 再一次老调重弹，但这是真理。在全身心投入到婚姻中，你需要靠自己的力量去开展事业。 12. Spend time around kids. 花时间与小孩相处。 This will help you decide whether or not you want them and to let your partner know where you stand regarding children before you tie the knot. 这能够帮你决定你是否想要小孩，并且在生育小孩这件事上，你要在婚前让对方知道你的立场。 13. Figure out why you want to get married. 清楚自己为什么想要结婚。 Do you genuinely love your partner? Or do you just like the idea of getting married? Do you really want to spend the rest of your life with them? Do you just want to wear a wedding gown and have a big fancy party? Or do you think it’s just something you now have to do because you’re getting older? Find out your true intentions before making the leap. 你真心喜欢你的恋人吗？或者你只是喜欢婚姻本身？你真的想要与对方共度余生？还是只渴望美丽的婚纱和盛大梦幻的派对？或者你仅仅是觉得这是长大成人后的必经过程？在做出决定前你要找出真正的原因。 14. Learn to fight fairly. 学会公平争论。 Disagreements will inevitably happen with your future spouse. Learn to fight fairly now before you say something you’ll regret after you’re married. 夫妻间出现分歧是不可避免的。与其婚后脱口而出一些让自己懊悔的话，不如现在就学会怎样公平争论。 15. Learn to love people as they are. 爱就要爱他人本身。 Don’t expect people to change for you. Marrying your partner means you’ll accept for their strengths AND weaknesses. 不要指望别人为你改变。跟你的伴侣结合意味着你将同时接受他们的优点和缺点。 16. Learn to DIY. 学会自己动手。 How can you nurture a marriage if you cannot learn to take care of yourself first? Consider learning how to cook or become the handyman around the house. 如果你不能好好地照顾自己，又怎么能够经营婚姻呢？想想怎样才能做得一手好菜或成为心灵手巧的居家人士吧。 17. Meet your future spouse’s friends. 见对方的朋友。 You might be able to pick up on red flags that could hint at why you might not want to marry this person. Or to confirm that your decision is completely spot on. 借此，你可能会收到一些不能与此人结婚的预警。也可能会完全坚信自己的决定。 18. Meet your future spouse’s family. 见对方家人。 You’re not just marrying your spouse, you’re marrying into the family. Figure out if you can deal with their family drama beforehand. 婚姻结合的不是两个人，而是两个家庭。婚前先看看你是否能跟对方的家人相处。 19. Get to know yourself. 了解你自己。 A no-brainer here. If you don’t know who you are and aren’t comfortable in your own skin, how could you possibly know what type of person you want to spend the rest of your life with? 显然，如果你连自己是谁，自己的喜好都不清楚，那又怎么可能知道自己想要共度余生的人是什么类型呢？ 20. Learn to apologize sincerely. 学会诚挚地道歉。 We screw up from time to time. Admitting it shows your partner that you’re mature and you’re willing to do what it takes to make things right. 我们时不时就会犯错。承认错误能够向你的伴侣表明你已成熟，并且愿意为弥补过错而付出努力。 |
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