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How To Get Over A Breakup And Move On With Life Maybe you just got dumped, or perhaps you had the unfortunate task of breaking up with someone. Whether it was long or short term, the end of a relationship can be heart breaking. Someone who was once so close to you is now gone, and that can almost feel like a death sometimes. And in a way it is—it’s the death of love. It may feel like you’ll never get over it, but I can assure you that you will in time. One thing you can do is try and make it easier on yourself by applying some of the following tips to your post-breakup life. I’m not saying that they’ll make you feel spectacular in ten minutes’ time, but they’ll certainly make it easier to move on. 无论你是被抛弃了，还是不幸处于和爱人分手的伤痛中。无论你们恋爱时间是长还是短，结束一段恋情都会伤人至深。曾经如此形影不离，现在却已物是人非，这感觉教人生不如死。人们称之为-该死的爱。好似你永远都无法忘掉那个人，但我保证你有天终会释怀。而分手后，你唯一能做的就是尝试用下面的方式来减轻痛楚。我并不是说这些方式能立竿见影，但它们的确能够舒缓你的伤痛。 1. Allow Yourself a Break 给自己放个假 You’ve just been through something traumatic, and proper attention must be paid. It’s okay to give yourself a little break from life for a while. Before you start running for the kitchen knives, I mean that you need a holiday away from normality. Give yourself permission to focus on yourself and neglect some things that can handle it. Just make sure it isn’t your hygiene. Take a few days off work if you can. Indulge in some of your ‘sometimes’ foods. Do what you need to do on your vacation from the real world. Just don’t break any laws or engage in stalking. 受到创伤的你，需要一定的抚慰。你可以适当地给自己放个短假。这得在你忙于柴米油盐酱醋茶之前，我是说你需要休个假，远离日常琐事。你要允许自己将焦点放在自己身上，并要忘了阻碍你放松的绊脚石。偶尔放纵一下你的食欲。在远离真实世界的假期里随心自在做你想做的，前提是不要去作奸犯科。 2. Think, But Don’t Obsess 思考，但不忧虑 We all need time to wallow after a breakup, but you should only allow it up until a point. What you don’t want to do is become Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction. Eventually you need to think about the breakup and the relationship reasonably. There are reasons why it didn’t work, and whether they were good ones or not you need to accept them. Think rationally about them and know that things wouldn’t be better if you were still together if you weren’t both happy. 每个人分手后都需要时间去消化，但你得有节制。你也不想成为《致命诱惑》里的格林.克洛斯吧。所以你得理智地看待分手和恋情。失恋都是有原因的，无论这些原因合理或是牵强。你都要理性地思考，并要知道如果两人在一起不快乐，即便你们继续纠缠，都不会幸福。 3. Give Yourself Space 给自己一点空间 Even if you guys decided to remain friends, you simply have to give yourself time away from each other. If you don’t, someone is bound to get hurt further and you’ll have to deal with two emotional melting pots. Believe me, one is more than enough. Give yourself a chance to get over the person. Or, if you were the dumper, give your ex the chance to get over you. You don’t want somebody to take something the wrong way. In addition to making the healing process easier, it will also give you a better shot at being friends later down the road. 纵然你们双方决定要继续做朋友，你都必须给自己一点独处的时间。如果你执意要彼此纠结，那么有人注定要受到更大的伤害，而你也不得不去收拾两边的情感残局。相信我，光是一边就够你收拾的了。给自己一个忘掉对方的机会。或者，如果你是抛弃方，那就给你的前任一个忘掉你的机会。你也不希望有人误入迷途吧。另外，该方式除了能简化治愈的过程，它还能教你怎样在之后的人生中拿捏做朋友的尺度。 4. Let Yourself Feel 释放自己 Bottling your emotions up simply isn’t healthy. I know it isn’t fun, but you need to have your mourning period. Let yourself cry and yell. That goes for you too, gentlemen. I’ve seen you do it with my own eyes. Doing these things are good methods of catharsis. 压抑情绪有违健康之道。我知道发泄不怎么好玩，但你需要这种体验。尽情地大哭尖叫吧。这同样适用于你，男士们。我可亲眼见过你们哭号的样子。这些都是发泄情绪的好方法。 5. Feel in an Appropriate Way 适当发泄 Again, wallowing is a necessary step in the healing process but you must not let it get out of hand. You need to let both your ex and yourself move on. This can be particularly difficult if the other person finds somebody else, but you simply need to accept it. Don’t let negative emotions rule your life forever, because the only person you’re actually hurting is yourself… 再次强调，治愈过程中发泄是必经的一步，但你必须让情况处于掌握之中。你得让双方都向前看。如果对方有了新欢，这虽然特别难以接受，但你必须学着接受。不要让消极的情绪永远影响着你，因为唯一会受到伤害的实际就是你自己... 6. Don’t Go Through It Alone 不要独自舔舐伤口 Surrounding yourself with supportive, loving people is one of the best things you can do during a breakup. They will restore your self-esteem and remind you how to have fun. Also, it’s always better to have someone else to yell “bastard” with. 跟支持你、爱你的人在一起是分手后你能做的正确事情之一。他们会重建你的自信，会告诉你寻求开心的方法。当然，有个能陪你一起爆粗的人总是更好的。 7. Cleanse 清洁 I don’t mean your face, but that’s always a positive thing too.Take the time to get organized and get rid of any unwanted stuff lying around your home. This means absolutely anything of your ex’s that you’ve been holding on to for the sake of memory. You can do the mature thing and ask if you would like them back, or you could build a ritualistic fire and burn them. Your choice.In addition to keeping you busy, getting rid of old junk, particularly ones with bad memories attached, will also make you feel clean and refreshed on the inside too. 我不是说你的外在，但整理一下外表依然是个好的建议。花点时间清扫、整理一下家里多余的东西。这当然就是指前任遗留下的那些让你寄托思念的物件。你可以成熟地询问自己是否希望回首往事，或者象征性地一把火烧掉。选择权在你。除了使自己忙碌外，摒弃垃圾食品，特别是和痛苦回忆有关的食品，同样能让你由内陆感到干净、清新。 8. Be Thankful 心怀感恩 I know that you’re feeling hurt, perhaps even crushed, and that being thankful for anything may seem impossible. Despite how you might feel, there are things in your life to be grateful for, and now is the best time to dwell on them. As an exercise, write down all of the things in your life that you’re thankful for. If there are people on the list—tell them. Doing so may just pull you out of your gloom. 我知道你感到很受伤，甚至濒临毁灭边缘，让此时的你去对万物感恩似乎不太可能。但无论你怎么想，你生命中永远都有需要你感激的事物存在，而此时，就是你去发掘的最佳时刻。将其视为作业，记录下你人生中所有让你心怀感激的事和物。如果有人上榜了-告诉他们。这样做能让你从痛苦中脱离出来。 【大耳朵原创文章，转载请注明出处】 |
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