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. 初到中国时，我的脑子真是非常纯洁。而后我发现了三里屯（啦-啦-啦）。 To be clear, I havent been corrupted, at least not much. But Ive learned a ton, from observation and discussion, about the real deal in Beijing. Before, when I was still in Canada, I had many language partners (5), all women, from 20-35 years old. It was pretty innocent and friendly. I guess that may be obvious with the 32 and 35yo women (though thats not totally out of my reach), but even with the 20, 22 and 23 year olds. I guess it was because they were studious and academic, and we always kept things pretty formal and professional. 我还没被腐蚀，最多也就一点点。但是我已经晓得这在北京是怎么回事啦。先前在加的时候，我有过5位语言伙伴，都是女孩子，20~35岁之间。然而一切都很纯洁友好。 To continue my studies when I arrived here, I sought new language partners, both male and women. Through it all, I noticed that women in particular were cautious of such requests, and Im beginning to see why. From what I can gather, asking someone to be your language partner is akin to asking them on a pseudo-date. Having spoken to many people here (aka. white males) who have dated/slept-with their "language partners", I feel a bit shocked that I hadnt anticipated that before I arrived. 来中国以后，我继续寻找语言伙伴，男性女性都可以。然而发现女性对于这种提议都比较警惕。原来，在这里请人做语言伙伴几乎就是约会他/她... I just wanted to know what your guys opinions are on this matter. On the one hand, I think that its a pretty good "scheme" to pick up girls, from a guys perspective. On the other, it strains and does some damage to image of white males in general, as perceived by both male and female locals (the men are upset that "their girls" can be "fooled" so easily, the women are offended at the apparent depravity of it all). 从男孩的角度，这的确是个泡女孩的好方法。然而这似乎也损害了白人男性在中国的形象。中国人男的女的都不会高兴。 Friesen, 男, 英国人 I think it works both ways - as in many Chinese girls ask for language partners but what they really want is a foreign boyfriend. It may not be totally right, but in many ways it is a mutual benefit for both parties - although that only works if both people know the deal to start with. Personally I dont even have language partners, let alone ones I sleep with, but I guess it is something that occurs fairly often. I mean if a single guy spends time with an attractive single girl doing language then it could well lead to other things. I dont think all Chinese girls are so easily fooled, and many of them know what is going on, and do it knowingly。 我认为很多中国女孩找语言伙伴也就是为了交外国男友。其实如果单身男人和一个漂亮女孩练口语，很容易会发生什么别的事。中国女孩也没有那么糊涂，多数人也知道自己在做什么。 Drea, 女, 美国人 ok, yeah, this is a touchy subject...it just seems with the way male-female interactions go here that if it is just a guy and a girl are alone together at a restaurant (esp. a white guy and a chinese girl) everyone is going to assume you are sleeping together, even if you arent. also, im sure your language partner is very nice but i wouldnt entirely assume that her intentions are innocent even if yours are. that said, however, i wouldnt assume anything of you or her in that matter. you see, in my personal experience, practicing a language with someone is just a very intimate matter no matter how you cut it. talking endlessly about what is going on in your life, watching how you hold your mouth to say such a word is not for the faint-hearted. for this reason, i have always made sure that my language partners were female. the one time i broke this rule because my "real" language partner was busy i ended up dating the guy....so, you see, im not so innocent in this respect! my advice is to proceed with caution. 和人练习口语的确是比较亲密的事。你要说很多话，看对方怎样发音，嘴一直动，很难不起那些念头的。所以我一般只找女性语言伙伴。有一次破例了，结果我和那个男孩就开始约会了。所以你看，我也不是很纯洁的。 Rachel 女, 美国人 As a foreign female, Im not sure I can give subjective advice on the matter. But I will say that, for some reason, I am wary of having Chinese male language partners. Perhaps it is related to the whole foreigner "kai fang" thing we were talking about earlier (in which Chinese men just assume all foreign women are either "easy" or "asking for it" or something along those lines). Or perhaps it is Dreas point: whether you realize it or not, learning a language with someone is a very intimate thing - not only do you learn so much about the person and spend so much time with them in the process, but they almost become a sort of crutch or dependency until you can (linguistically) stand on your own two feet。 作为外国女性，我会特别小心不找中国男性做语言伙伴。他们似乎认为外国女孩都很开放。当然可能学习语言的确是很亲近的事，你要花很多时间呆在一起，在你语言上“独立”以前，还会形成那种依赖性。 |
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