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嗨
Hi, Charlie. It's Teddy here. 现在你只有九个月大
So right now you're nine months old 不过一切都很顺利
and everything is going great. 呃
Well, almost everything. 现在我要带你去看的东西可能会有点囧
Now what I'm about to show you is kind of disturbing, 所以做好心理准备哦
So brace yourself. 嗯
Mmm, these sandwiches will be yummy wummy. 没错
Yes, they will, yes, they will. 妈妈爸爸从你一出生就开始用这种腔调讲话了
Mom and dad have been talking like that ever since you arrived 如果他们继续这样子的话
And if it's not over soon, I'm gonna go crazy wazy. - PJ
- PJ! - what? 你在听什么呢
What are you listening to? 我下了个芭蕾历史的播客听
I downloaded a podcast on the history of ballet. - 你喜欢听那玩意儿吗
- you like that? - More than baby talk. 你想给你的饼饼配点鱼鱼一起吃吗
Would you like some fishy wishies with your cookie wookie? 是的 Yes, I would, yes, I would. 等等
Wait, guys, Charlie isn't even here. 是啊
No, widdle baby take a nappy wappy upstairs. 那为什么你们两个说话还这个调调
So why are you guys still talking like that? 我一点点都不知道
I don't "weawy" know. 我想是因为我们两个有些晕头转向了
I guess we're just kinda fried. 我们白天工作了一整天
Well, we work all day, take care of a baby all night. 工作和照顾宝宝来回换班
Work shift, baby shift 我都没有时间去解手手了
I've barely got time to make doo-doo 你们两个上次晚上一起出门玩是什么时候
Well, when was the last time you guys had a night out? 你知道的
You know, like just the two of you-- like a date? Teddy真会说笑笑啊
Teddy made a funny. 好好笑的玩笑
A funny wunny. 我是认真的
Seriously! you know what? it's saturday night. 你们两个
You two, you go out, have fun, 做点除了工作 And do something besides work, 和照顾宝宝之外的事情
take care of the baby and make doo-doo. 我倒是求之不得啊
Well, it's nice to dream, 但是谁来照顾Charlie呢
but who's gonna take of Charlie 拜托
Hello! you've got three great babysitters right here. 我很高兴我没听到那句话
I'm glad I didn't hear that. 我不知道
I don't know, Teddy. It's a really nice thought, 但是我们真的还没有准备好丢下Charlie自己出门
But we're really not ready to go out without Charlie just yet - 大家想不想看个魔术表演
- You guys want to see a magic trick? - Sure! - 好吧
- Okay. - Prepare to be amazed. 我还是出门歇上一晚吧
I could use a night out. 生活搞得一团糟
Day's all burnt toast 就要迟到
Running late,and dad says 我左脚的鞋子有没有人看到
Has anybody seen my left shoe 我闭上双眼
I close my eyes, take a bite 跳上车子 Grab a ride, laugh out loud 就在这里
There it is up on the roof 我也曾这样生活
I've been there, I've survived 所以请听取我的建议
So just take my advice 宝贝
Hang in there, baby, things are crazy 可是我知道你会有美好未来
But I know your future is bright 宝贝
Hang in there, Baby 不要怀疑
There is no maybe 一切终会如你所愿
Eveything turns out all right 生活有悲有喜
Sure life is up and down 可是请相信我
But trust me, it comes back all around 你会喜欢将来的你
You're gonna love who you turn out to be 宝贝
Hang in there, Baby 查莉成长日记
Good Luck Charlie 好了
All right, you guys have fun. Stay out as late as you want. 但是别玩过头了 But not too much fun-- We have enough kids already. 我是说真的
I'm serious. 好了
Okay, everyone, be good, have fun, love you. - 是啊是啊
- Yeah yeah. - All right. Teddy
Hey, Teddy, thanks for doing this. 让你妈妈和我一起享受段特别时光
It's gonna be nice for your mom and I 这样真的不错
to have some special time together - Bob
- Bob, move your butt! - I'm coming! 好了
All right, so we divide it up evenly, 我们一人照顾Charlie一个小时
We each get to spend an hour with Charlie. 谁想第一个来
Who wants to go first? 我认为你应该第一个来
I think you should go first. 第二个第三个也该你来
And second and third, since this was your idea. 嘿
Hey, I'm not doing this all by myself. 你们两个必须得帮忙
you guys have to help out. 好吧 Fine. I'll go fourth. 根本没有第四个
There is no fourth. 我是说我要动身去公园打会儿篮球
I meant I shall go forth to the park to shoot some hoop. 既然你这么想去公园
You want to go to the park so badly, 为什么不顺便把Charlie也带上
Then why don't you just take Charlie? 一个小宝宝在公园能干些什么
What's a baby supposed to do at the park? 宝宝们都喜欢公园啊
Babies love parks. you can show her the duck pond, 看看蓝天
The blue sky, clouds. 我们出去只是闲看吗
We're just gonna look at stuff? that's what TV is for. 耶哈哈
Yeah heh hah, all right! 这太好玩了
This is great. Whee! 真棒
Yes, whoo! 你看什么看
What are you looking at? I was here first. 嘿
Hey, you can ride that duck. 我不能去骑那只鸭子
I couldn't ride the duck. I'd look silly on the duck. 好吧 Fine. 嘿
Hey there, Charlie. Are we having fun yet? 好的
All right. 哥们
Man, you seen a kid's birthday party around here anywhere? 我得过去表演呢
I'm the entertainment. 我在公园的那边看到了一个充气小屋
I saw a bounce house of the other end of the park. 充气小屋
A bouncy house, eh? Great. 这次我又得被送进急诊室了
Another trip to the E.R. 你这身装束是想装扮成谁啊
Who are you supposed to be anyway? 塑料侠
Plastic man, rubber man? 不
No, those are all registered trademarks. 我扮的是弹力王船长
I'm Captain Stretchy. 这里本来印着个"CS"的
There used to be a "CS" here, but it came off in the wash. 那你的超能力是什么
So what's your super power? 超级柔韧性
Super elasticity. 嘿 Hey, look, there's a quarter. 唉
Ah, forget it. 反正又不是一块的
Not like it's a dollar, right? - 嗨
- Hi. - Hi. 噢
Oh, yeah, I like your taste in strollers. 谢谢
Thanks, you too. - 那个宝宝好可爱啊
- That baby's so cute. - You too. 噢
Oh, I mean yours too. - 我叫Emma
- I'm Emma. - I'm PJ - 这个小宝宝是谁
- Who's this little guy? - My brother. 我们就是出来散散步
We're just out for our stroll. We do this every day. 我们也是
Us too. Like I always say, babies love parks. - 想一起坐会吗
- Would you like to sit for a bit? - Sure. 我看到你刚才在跟弹力王船长说话
So I saw you talking to Captain Stretchy earlier. 噢
Oh, yeah, he was lost. - 他可不怎么像超级英雄 - Not much of a superhero, right? - Oh, he's the worst. 我弟弟生日派对的时候我们请他去表演
We hired him for my brother's birthday party - 结果他一屁股坐到蛋糕上了
- and he sat on the cake. - That sounds awful. 噢
Oh, it gets worse. 蜡烛已经点上了
The candles was lit, so he sat in the punch 这也太古怪了
That's so weird. 我是说他看起来像是个很棒的演艺人啊
I mean he looks like such a quality entertainer. 知道吗
You know, PJ, I'm really impressed that 你肯带你的小妹妹来公园
you take your baby sister to the park. 我的兄弟们永远都不会这么做
My brothers would never do anything like that. 希望他们别来
I hope not. She is my sister. 现在看好了
Now watch closely. In this hand I have a quarter 而这只手
And in the other, an ordinary egg. 现在我把它们放进这个帽子里
Now I put them in this hat, spin them around a little 然后转眼间
And presto. 好奇地问一句 Just out of curiosity, 这个魔术本该是什么结果
What was supposed to happen? 我喜欢这个宝宝
I love this baby. 不管她什么时候想上公园
Anytime she wants to go to the park, sign me up. 你中什么邪了
What happened to you? 这么说吧
Let's just say charlie made a friend, PJmade a friend. 噢
Oh-- and did either you or your friend bother to change a diper? 根本没时间换
There's no time for that. I was too busy talking to Emma. - Emma是谁
- Who's emma? - A vision, 一个天使
An angel, the girl who's moved into my heart. 你有没有告诉她你脑袋里空空如也这个事实呢
Did you tell her about the vacancy in your brain? - PJ
- PJ? - what? 你把别人的宝宝带回家来了
You brought home the wrong baby. 什么
What? I did not. 你自己看看
Take a look! Wrong parts. 起码他那个地方的功能还很正常 There's nothing wrong with those parts. 你怎么会带错宝宝回家呢
How could you bring home the wrong baby? 我很抱歉
I'm sorry. I got a little distracted. Emma真是太可爱了
Emma is really cute. 是啊
Yeah, well, so was our sister. 快点
Come on, let's go to the park and find her. 0
急啥 Relax! I got her number. 那你还等什么
Then what are you waiting for? call her. 等等
Wait a second. 是不是有点太早了
Is it too soon? 如果我现在就打给她
If I call now, she'll think I'm desperate. 噢
Oh, you are desperate. 说的好
Good point. 你好
Hello, is Emma there? 你说你们是家中国菜餐馆 This is a Chinese restaurant? 好啊
Sure, I'll hear the specials. 她给了你个假号码
She gave you the wrong number. 纯属意料之中
Who couldn't see that one coming? 可我都请她吃了一片口香糖
But I gave her gum and helped her change a poopy diaper. 一切都那么浪漫
It was so romantic. 呃
Well, what do we do now? 噢
Oh no! 嗨
Hi mom, what up? 是的
Yeah, everything's going great. why wouldn't it be? 我们正过得开心着呢
We're just having a grand old time here with-- 宝宝一起
Baby 当然
Yeah, sure you can talk to him. her her! 和妈妈说句话吧
Talk to mommy. 听起来不像Charlie
What do you mean that did't sound like Charlie? 什么
What, do you just think I'm making baby noises into the phone? 妈妈
Mom, that's crazy. 好了
All right, bye. Say bye, Charlie. 我不是想批评你
Not that I'm in the position to criticize, 不过我变得更不知所措了
But I was getting more monkey. 快点
Come on, let's go to the park. 去找那个不待见PJ的女孩吗
And meet the girl who blew off PJ? 我去定了
I'm there. - 我没看到她
- I don't see her. - PJ, what did she look like? 她很漂亮
She was hot, but what does it matter? 也许我们该找人帮忙
Maybe we should call someone. 找宝宝时该找什么人帮忙呢
who do you call when you search a baby. 弹力王船长
Captain Stretchy! 那是什么东西
What is that? 你还在这里啊 You're still here? 我每个周六和周日都整天待在这里
Every saturday and sunday all day long. 回学校待着吧
Stay in school, kids. 他正是我们要找的人
Just the guy we needed to see. 我觉得你能帮助我们
I think you can help us. 嘿
Hey, kid, I'm just an entertainer. 我可不能让你爸爸妈妈破镜重圆
I can't get mommy and daddy back together. 不
No, you don't understand. 我刚才在这里和一个女孩聊天
I was talking to a girl here earlier, 她说了你在她弟弟的生日派对上表演过
And she said that you worked a party for her brother. 那又如何
So? I work lots of parties. 你表演时摔到蛋糕上了的派对是哪个
Where was the party where you fell on cake? 你们能听我讲三个小时么
You got three hours? 这真的很重要
This is really important. We need to find her. 有意思
Interesting situation. You kids need info, - 而我需要一个“男腰” - And I need a mirdle. - What is a mirdle? 就是个给男人用的腰带
That's a man girdle. And they ain't cheap. 是啊
Yeah, neither is dry cleaning, apparently. 她的名字叫Emma
Her name's Emma. Did she come back to the park? 这个
Well, maybe she did 也许她没回来过
And maybe she didn't. 别捻你的手指了
Stop rubbing your fingers together and answer my question. 他想要点好处
He wants a bribe. 真是不敢相信
I can't believe it. 给你
Here. 告诉你我知道的情况吧
Here is what I konw: Her name is Emma. 这一点我刚都告诉你了
I just told you that. 我可没说我会告诉你什么新东西
I didn't say the information was fresh. 没错
Yeah, I know the girl. 她家可是一个大家庭
She comes from a big family-- seven, eight kids. 给他们家表演的时候我扮演过 For them I've been... 宇航员Pete
Astronaut Pete, cowboy Bob... - 魔术师Marv
- Magic Marv? - Yeah! You're familiar with my work. 是啊
Yeah, and it stinks. 我才刚开始学魔术
I'm just starting off - 我的魔术已经比你变得棒了
- And I'm a better magician than you are. - Oh yeah? 你觉得变魔术很简单
You think this is easy, huh? here. 把这个变成一只髯狗
Turn that into a schnauzer. 变不出来吧
You can't do it, huh? 也许是因为你不过是半桶水的水平
Maybe it's because you don't have the chops! 好了
Well, Stretchy, do you know where she lives? 知道
Yeah, around here somewhere. - 我一看到就能认出来的
- I'd know it if I saw it. - Great! 你今晚要是帮我们找到她
Now you help us tonight and we'll 明天我们就帮你围上“男腰”
get you into that mirdle tomorrow. 噢 Oh, and you understand we're not actually 给你围上
Gonna put you into it? That you have to do by yourself. 嗯
Yeah, I get it. 好了
All right, come on, guys, we have to go find her. 啊
Uh, hey-- Captain Stretchy, away! - 车在这边
- Truck's this way. - Oh, okay. 随便点你想吃的东西
Order whatever you want, honey. I get a discount here. 这家店是我的最大客户之一
This place is one of my best customers. 在这儿听到一个灭虫专家这么说可不是什么好事
Not what you want to hear from an exterminator. 噢
Oh, look at that. 噢
Oh, fajitas. 不是那个
Not that, the baby. 那个小宝宝的婴儿车和我们的一模一样啊
A little baby in a stroller just like ours. 是啊
Yeah, okay, honey, 今晚我们应该暂时忘掉宝宝的事的
This is supposed to be a night away from the baby. 所以我们接着点菜吧 So let's come back. 好吧
Okay okay, I'm back. 接着点菜
I'm back. Just gotta run to the ladies' room. 噢
Oh oh, hey, listen, while you're in there, 能不能顺便检查下灭虫诱饵
Could you check the traps? 你们好
Hola. 再见
Adios. Bob
Bob, will you go over and look at that baby? - 我想那是Charlie
- I think it's Charlie. - What?! 你听到我说的话了
You heard me, that is Charlie! 亲爱的
Sweetheart, would you sit down, please? 我才不坐下呢
I will not sit down. 母亲总是能认出她自己的宝宝的
A mother knows her own baby and that is my baby. 亲爱的
Honey, seriously, what do you think happened here? 总不可能是刚才有人闯进我们的房子
In the last hour somebody went over to our house, 劫走我们的宝宝然后再带她过来吃薯条和鳄梨色拉吧 Borrowed our baby then brought her out for chips and guac? 我可不确定
I don't know, it's a big family. - 也许他们就是这样搞到那么多孩子的
- Maybe that's how they get their babies. - Sweetheart, 我觉得是因为你太想Charlie了
I think you're just missing Charlie 因而有一点点分离焦虑症了
And you're having a little separation anxiety. 噢
Oh, okay. 你说的对
You're right. 发疯疯了
Crazy wazy. - 我是说
- I mean, that isn't possible, right? - Exactly. 我得再去趟洗手间
I'm just going to go to the ladies' room one more time. 坐下
Sit down. 现在让我们在这家漂亮的餐馆
Now let's enjoy the rest of our night out 尽情享受我们剩下的晚宴时光
At this very lovely restaurant. - 好吗
- Okay? - Okay. 厨房里有情况需要我去处理
I'm needed in the kitchen. - Charlie - Charlie! - Emma! - Charlie
- Charlie! - Emma! - Marco
- Marco! - Polo. （注：一种抓人游戏，抓人者闭眼喊Marco，被抓一方喊Polo回应）
Gabe
Gabe, not helping. 弹力王
Stretchy, is any of this looking familiar? 也许有些熟
Maybe it does, maybe it doesn't. 我不会再给你钱了
You are not getting any more money. 不是
No, I have night blindness. 晚上我只能依稀看出轮廓来
All I'm seeing is shapes. 你为什么不早说
Why didn't you mention that earlier? 我得搭个顺风车回家
I needed a ride home. 在这儿停车
Stop here. 噢
Oh, great. Mom's up. 也许我该跟你们几个小孩待在一起
Maybe I'll just hang with you kids. 弹力王船长
Captain Stretchy, away. - 晚安
- Good night, Stretchy. - Good night, Stretchy. 晚安
Good night. 现在怎么办
Now what? 我们还没去公园北边那边的路上找过呢
We didn't hit the streets on the north end of the park. PJ
PJ, we can't keep driving around all night. 不能再这样了
It's over. We have to tell mom and dad. - 可是
- But-- - No, it'll be okay. 他们知道该怎么办
They know what to do. They always do. 我该怎么告诉他们我把自己的小妹妹弄丢了
How am I gonna tell them I lost our baby sister? 我是最大的孩子
I'm the oldest. They're gonna think I'm the most responsible. PJ
PJ, if it makes you feel any better, 没人会那么觉得
Nobody thinks that. 我为什么总是把事情搞砸
Why do I always mess everything up? 知道吗
You know what? This could have happened to any of us. 好吧 All right, probably most likely you, but-- 这一次
This one, we're all in it together. 谢谢
Thanks. 嘿
Hey, look, 弹力王船长把他的驾照落下了
Captain Stretchy dropped his driver's license. 175磅
175 lbs, my butt! 他们在那边
There they are. 好了
All right, let's get this over with. 你觉得我们让这个墨西街头乐团帮忙
Do you think it would be better or worse 传个口信比较好呢还是会让情况变得更糟呢
if we had the mariachi deliver the news. 如果他们用西班牙语传达
If it's in spanish, probably better. 等等
Wait, I don't believe it. - 那是Emma
- That's Emma. - So that's Charlie. 真棒
Yes! Oh, we're saved. - 还不一定呢
- Not quite. - Hey, kids. - 现在怎么办 - What now? - I'll let you know when I think of it. 妈妈
Mom, dad, hi. - 嗨
- Hi. - What are you doing here? 我们觉得你们一定会想Charlie的
We just realized you must be missing Charlie, 所以我们带她过来了
So we brought her. 噢
Oh, Teddy, you're not fooling me. - 我露馅了
- I'm not? - Nope. 你一定是照顾Charlie时间太长了
You spent a little too much time with Charlie 然后想早点把她交给我吧
And you're ready to hand her over early. 这个
Well, I wouldn't say too much time. 不过
Well, I am ready too, so let me at her. - 给我吧
- Gimme Gimme Gimme. - Mom, Mom, Mom. 你正在约会呢
You're on a date. Let me bring her to you. 这里吗
Here? Wait, now? 那
Well, all right. - 嘿 - Hey, mom. - Hi, baby. - 嘿
- Hey. - Hey, dad. - 我想给你们表演个节目
- Something I want to show you. - What is it, honey? 我的下一个魔术就是
And now for my next trick, 我会把一个男孩变不见的
I'm gonna make a boy disappear. 知道吗
You know, you should be ashamed of yourself. 你勾引了一个男孩
You lead a guy on, make him think you have a connection, 然而你却给了他一个假电话号码
And you give him a fake phone number. 你自己输错了
You put it in wrong. that three is supposed to be a two. 噢
Oh, my bad. 那么
So... 想一起吃个晚饭吗
You wanna get a table? 我的尿床宝宝
My widdle baby, did you miss your mommy and daddy? 是的
Yes, she did. yes, she did. 噢
Oh, I never thought I'd be so happy to hear baby talk. Teddy Teddy, this isn't Charlie's binky. where did you get this? 噢
Oh, well, that's actually a really funny story. 听好了
See, what happened was... 太吵了
Too loud. Tell you later. 好了
Well, Charlie, now you're home safe and sound 一切都没事了
And everything turned out okay. 对你来说是没事儿了
For you. 我们本来也可以没事的
It would have been okay for us too, but when we got home, 妈妈问了我们一堆问题
Mom started asking all these questions 而我们没人能真正解释
And no one really had an answer to 客厅里的尿渍是怎么来的
the pee stains in the living room. 于是就真相大白了
And that's when the truth came out 然后三个孩子就全都有麻烦了
and all the kids got into trouble. 所以这次的教训就是如果你
So the lesson is if you ever try 做了坏事还想耍手段隐瞒妈妈的话
to pull anything over on Mom, 祝你好运 Good luck, Charlie. 我不可能总结得比妈妈更精辟了
Couldn't have said it better myself. 我这只手里有个硬币 In this hand I have a quarter. 另一只手里
And in the other hand, an ordinary egg. 现在我把它们放进这个帽子里
Now I put them in this hat, 转上几圈然后
Spin them around and... 转眼间
Presto! Now hold out your hand. 哇
Wow, that's a great trick. 你怎么变的
How'd you do that? 有意思
Interesting situation. 看起来你需要打探一些消息
It seems you need information, 而我则需要买个电子游戏
Meanwhile I need a new video game. 真是个呆子
What a chump. 你叫谁呆子呢 Who you calling a chump? Hey, get back here. |
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