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2014考研英语作文热门话题范文：道德滑坡 ①Looking at this thought-provoking picture(加“which was”,其中which引导定语从句，修饰picture;was和后面的depicted构成被动语态) symbolically depicted by the drawer, I do realize the urgency to improve the moral standards nowadays. ②A pregnant woman, an old man and his little granddaughter stands(“stands”改为“stand”，该句主语为复数，主谓应保持一致)on the crowded bus, looking at a young man who sits in the seat comfortably with a piece of black cloth covering his eyes, puzzled and indignant(“puzzled and indignant”是用来修饰the yong man, 或是作者“感到困惑和愤怒”，应表达清晰;若要表达作者的情感，可改为：...covering his eyes. I feel puzzled and indignant).①The temporary blind in the picture indicates a serious phenomenon in the modern society that some young people are suffering from moral decline. ②The reasons contributing to moral decline are worth pondering. ③First, respecting the old and caring the young is abandoned by some modern people, because they only care about their own benefits. ④Only if you could provide them with a great outcome(“a great outcome”改为“great outcomes”，和them保持一致), will they lend you a hand(“a hand”改为“hands”，和they保持一致) in exchange. ⑤In addition, the educational system is also to blame(“be to blame for”意为“对……应负责任;应该为某事负责任”，如果要表述“教育体制也应对此负责”，可表达为： the educational system is also to blame for the phenomenon;如若要表述“教育体制也应受到责备”，可表达为the educational system should also to be blamed). ⑥It emphasizes more on high marks at the expense of having few time to teach traditional moral values in school which leads to people’s defect (“defect”为可数名词，此处应改为“defects”和people保持一致)on this issue.①It is high time that we fostered our moral values. ②For one thing, schools and governments should play an active role (“an active role”应改为“active roles”，前后主谓保持一致，主语为schools and governments)in advocating moral values and traditional virtues to teach the young. ③For another, individuals should learn more about virtues and help people around with a warm heart(“a warm heart”改为“ warm hearts”,前后单复数保持一致). ④Only through our joint effort(“effort”应改为“efforts”,前后单复数保持一致), could we recollect the virtues. 编辑点评 As is indicated in the cartoon above,a big crowded of drivers stay in cars on the road,waiting for their turn to go,with patience almost running up(表达不准确且句子缺成分，根据图片可改为and even some people want to hold the car to go out of the long queue).In fact ,nowadays,this phenomenon reflected by the picture is so widespread,especially in super(super改为big，super表示“超级”，用在此处不合适)cities.Thanks to the fast development of economy,we have a chance to experience the more(去掉the more，rich为单音节形容词，其比较级直接在后面加-er即可) richer life.As a result of that,(第一句用thanks to表示原因，第二句用as a result of that也表示原因，这样有点繁琐，建议将两句话合为一句话，可改为and)the number of people who own cars is larger and larger.The once wide roads become narrow (汉语式英语，可改为The wide roads before become narrow now).In order to get to destination(改为destinations，每个人的目的地不一样，应用复数形式)on time,people have to set up (改为set out，set up意为“建立，创立”;set out为“出发”，注意短语的正确选择) earlier in case of being blocked.By the way ,discharging too much carbon-dioxide to the air would(改为will) destroy the environment.Therefore,it is imperative for us to take measures to change the fact.The simplest method is to diminish the times(改为time，time在表示“时间”时，为不可数名词，当“次数”讲时为可数名词) of using private transportations.There is no doubt the world would change into a better place for us to live benefited from all the efforts we devote.(汉语式英语，可改为There is no doubt that the world will be better for us to live in as long as all of us devote our efforts.) 编辑点评 |
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