1. Declarations of love that don't ever need to declared: “I love my daughter sooo much.” 没必要的爱的宣告:“我好爱我的女儿啊。” Analysis: They feel the need to convince someone like themselves, or perhaps felt a pang of love and instead of telling the beloved, they felt the whole world should be in on it. Once, a friend of mine posted, “I hate my kid. Sorry to offend you, but he's a little bastard and I'm sick of him.” Obviously it was a joke, but 141 people felt the need to tell him what a bad parent he was. 分析:这些人是不是觉得非得让别人知道自己有多喜欢谁,他们可能觉得坚守这份爱有些苦闷,你倒是告诉你爱的人啊,满世界嚷嚷算什么意思啊?有一次我的朋友发了这样一篇:“我讨厌我孩子,如果让你不爽我很抱歉,但他真的是个小混蛋,我太讨厌他了。”很明显他开个玩笑罢了,不过141个家伙在下面留言说他实在是个不称职的父亲…… 2. Mundane details about their day appearing as milestones: “Going to dinner and a movie!!!” 普普通通的生活细节,非要当成里程碑一样的大事:“去吃了晚饭,还看了电影!!!” Analysis: A very boring life. 分析:这样的日子真无聊。 3. Giving details about health along with emoticon to verify feelings about it: “Feeling sick today " 发身体情况的细节,还要加个表情符号证实自己说的没错:“今天感觉病怏怏的:(” Analysis: Bored, and too stupid to just play Words with Friends. 分析:这人也被无聊逼的,和朋友玩文字游戏你都不够格,你这个蠢货。 4. Emotional rant directed at no one in particular, but so specific that everyone knows they've been screwed over: “Never trust people who tell you they will pick you up at 6 just to make you wait an hour. Some people will never be mature enough to be in a relationship, so maybe they should be dumped.” 情绪激动的怒骂,看似不针对某人,其实大家都知道他俩完了:“永远别相信一个说6点钟来接你,结果让你苦等了1个小时的家伙。有些人永远不知道恋爱里什么才叫成熟,也许他们活该被甩。” Analysis: Well, they can't really give the person's name or address them directly. That would be too honest. 分析:咳,这人就是不指名道姓,也不当着对方的面直接说。那样有点儿太过诚实了。 5. Pictures of mundane plates of food in front of them. 一盘摆在面前普普通通的菜 Analysis: "I'm eating. You have to see what I'm eating!" Well, maybe it looked better at the restaurant. 分析:“我在吃饭哒,你要看我在吃婶Mua!”没准餐馆里的真货要比你拍的还好看些。 6. Persuasive proclamations of life being good: “I’m loving life right now.” 生活很美好之类的感人宣告:“我爱当下的生活。” Analysis: Life is not good. 分析:日子过得不好才会这么说。 7. Persuasive proclamations about God. “I feel blessed to be alive on this glorious day, and I owe it all to God. Make God your only Savior and you will never be sad.” 对神的感人告白:“能过得这么好都是有您的庇佑,我的一切都归于上帝。若将上帝作为你唯一救星,你将永远不会悲哀。” Analysis: Religious people need to spend more time in church and less time on Facebook. 分析:如果你信宗教就多花点时间去教堂,花少点时间在Facebook上。 8. Updates of mundane activities written as though they are jokes: “I had to stop and get gas and then wait an hour for a prescription. Then I lost my keys and couldn't get back in my car. Hahaha.” 憋个段子写些稀松平常的事情:“停车加油,又等了一个小时拿到处方。结果发现我把车钥匙丢了,现在车也进不去。哈哈哈。” Analysis: “It's funny, right? Please say it's funny.” 分析:“好笑吗,嗯?请你告诉我哪好笑。” 9. Political rants about random things: “Why should churches have to pay for abortions? Obama is a terrible president and a terrorist.” 不管什么都扯上政治:“为什么教会要为流产买单?奥巴马作为总统烂透了,简直是恐怖分子。” Analysis: I don't know. I hate politics. 分析:其实我什么都不懂,我只是讨厌政治。 10. Unusual excitement about seeing someone: “OMG I can’t wait to see Lesley and Jaime and Kelly!!” 见到人特别兴奋:“OMG,我迫不及待要见到Lesley、还有Jaime还有Kelly!!” Analysis: Superficiality is the drug of the overabundancy. 分析:肤浅是治疗精力过剩的良药。 |
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