为何要尊重每一个人，甚至是对手

　　4 Reasons I Respect Everyone, Even My Enemies

　　为何要尊重每一个人，甚至是对手

　　I have been a woman of principle for many years. On the one hand I found it a very good quality that helped me keep my dignity; on the other hand, it was difficult to deal with people, because I couldn’t respect those whom I disliked, especially my enemies. That trait of character made me burn already existent bridges and lose opportunities to make new acquaintances. I didn’t know what to do that’s why I tried to talk to a wise man about my problem. I visited my grandpa and asked him for a valuable advice on how to tame my temper and start treating this world with respect. He told me that the problem was inside me. It was impossible and pointless to run away from myself.

　　多年来，我一直是一名有原则的女性。一方面，我发现这种非常优秀的品质可以帮我维护尊严；另一方面，与人相交非常困难，因为我难以尊重自己不喜欢的人，尤其是我的对手。这种性格导致我焚毁了原本已经存在的人际关系桥梁，也失去了结交新人的机会。我不知该怎么办，因此向一位智者讲述了我的问题。我探访了我的祖父，请他提出宝贵的建议，如何驯服我的脾气，以尊重的态度对待这个世界。他告诉我，问题在于我的内心。自我逃避是不可能的，也是毫无意义的。

　　After a considerable reflection on my life, I decided to advance my mindset, and made respect my new priority. It was difficult to change myself at first, but I did it, because I knew that work at self-improvement was not an easy thing. It cost me a great deal of effort and time. Since I’ve prioritized respect, I noticed many positive changes in my life.

　　对生活进行认真反思后，我决定改变心态，把尊重作为最重要的事。最初要改变自己非常困难，但是我做到了，因为我知道，自我提高并非易事。这耗费了我大量的时间和努力精力。自从把尊重放在首位之后，我发现我的生活发生了许多积极的改变。

　　I think that respect is a powerful tool to deal with my enemies. Moreover, tensed relationships with enemies help me grow and develop that makes me more mature and knowledgeable. My respect is both my weapon and defense. It doesn’t give my enemies a chance to hurt my feelings, because they lack reasons to do it.

　　我认为，尊重是应对对手非常有力的工具。而且，与对手之间的紧密关系帮助我成长和发展，让我更加成熟，更加博学。我的尊重既是武器，又是防御。尊重并未给对手伤害我感情的机会，因为他们没有理由这样做。

　　Nowadays many people cannot realize this little, but significant truth. They waste nerves and time, feeling hatred and harboring a grudge against others. Negative thinking and destructive emotions usually bring sufferings and misery. I think that the sooner people admit and realize this truth, the quicker they’ll learn to live with this world in accord. I hope my life experiences will help you improve your life.

　　现在，许多人难以意识到这个细微而重要的事实。他们浪费精力和时间，对他人饱含憎恨情绪。消极的想法和破坏性的情绪总是会造成痛苦和煎熬。我认为，人们越快承认和意识到事实，就越快学会如何在这个世界生存。我希望自己的生活经验能够帮你让生活变得更美好。

　　Respect is Not a Sign of Weakness

　　尊重不是软弱的标志

　　For a quite long period of time, different hesitations about respect captured my mind. I was not used to yield or follow one’s tastes. I thought that my respect towards enemies would show that I wasn’t strong enough. Now I understand that I was mistaken.

　　相当长一段时期，我的脑海里总是对关于尊重的做法犹豫不决。我不喜欢遵从或屈服于别人的品味。我认为对对手的尊重会显得我不够强大。现在我明白，我错了。

　　My respect doesn’t make me obliged to somebody. When I feel complete antipathy towards my enemies, I try to stay cold and emotionally neutral. I believe that with the help of respect people can handle every situation. It’s a great pleasure for me to communicate with people and have relationships built on common respect. They make me feel confident and contented.

　　我的尊重不会让我向他人屈服。当我对对手非常反感时，我努力保持思想冷静，情感中立。我相信，保持尊重的态度，人们可以处理任何情况。能够在互相尊重的前提下与人沟通并建立关系对我来说是非常愉快的事。这让我感到自信而满足。

　　I know that real weakness is to give way to negative emotions all the time and hurt everyone on your way. It’s important to start thinking efficiently. If you cannot respect others, then you should start from yourself.

　　我知道，真正的软弱是一味让步于消极的情绪，伤害妨碍你的每一个人。开始有效地思考非常重要。如果你不能尊重他人，那你应该从尊重自己做起。

　　Every time I tried to understand myself, I noticed that I was my own worst enemy. Step by step, I began treating myself with respect and when I became an absolutely confident person, I reflected the feeling of respect on others, even on my enemies.

　　每次我试图了解自己的时候，我发现自己是最大的敌人。我开始逐步以尊重的态度对待自己，当我变成绝对自信的人，我就把尊重的态度反射给他人，甚至我的对手。

　　I Become More Experienced

　　我变得更有经验

　　Enemies like other life difficulties are wonderful teachers. Everyone knows that people can exert either positive or negative influence on each other. Unfortunately, we tend to focus more on negative experiences than on positive life surprises. Consequently, we learn more lessons from unsuccessful situations.

　　像生活中的其他困难一样，对手是很出色的老师。大家都知道，人们相互之间会产生积极或消极的影响。不幸的是，我们总是更多地关注消极的经历，而不是积极的生活惊喜。因此，我们能够从失败的境遇中学到更多教训。

　　Without a doubt, nobody wants me to get into a trap like my enemies do. I know it and I try to be more careful and tactful in my actions and words. In other words, enemies motivate me to develop without breaks in order to win the race. I’ve met a lot of people who were even grateful to their enemies, because one day they had helped them reach their goals.

　　毫无疑问，没有人像我的对手那样希望我陷入困境了。我深知这一点，因此我的言行更加谨慎，更加机智。换言之，对手激励我为了赢得比赛而不断进步。我遇到过许多人甚至对自己的对手表示感激，因为对手最终帮他们达到了目标。

　　The same thing has happened to me a few times. My former foreign language teacher was a private enemy of mine. She was an extremely exigent and strict teacher who made me and my groupmates learn languages in a proper way. We studied a lot of information day and night trying to achieve positive results. It seemed that in those moments of despair my hatred for that teacher was limitless. Today I’ve replaced this hatred by the feeling of gratitude. I’m greatly thankful to her for everything she had done for me. When I travel around the world, I can freely use my skills and communicate with people from foreign countries. This life story proved me that my worst enemies can be good teachers. Now I’m sure that having enemies isn’t a bad thing, because there’re many advantages and disadvantages of it.

　　同样的事曾多次发生在我身上。我以前的外语教师是我私下的对手。她是一位非常苛刻而严厉的老师，让我和队友们以恰当的方式学习语言。为了取得积极的成果，我们不分昼夜地学习了许多知识。在那些绝望的时刻，我对这位老师的憎恨似乎是无穷无尽的。今天，感激之情取代了愤恨情绪。我非常感激她和她对我所做的一切。当我在世界各地旅游的时候，我可以随心所欲地发挥自己的技能，与外国人进行沟通。这个人生故事向我证明，最大的对手可以成为很好的老师。现在，我确信，拥有对手并不是一件糟糕的事情，因为利弊共存。

　　Respect is the Best World Currency

　　尊重是世界上最宝贵的财富

　　Respect is one of the most important human values that will never be replaced by money or something else. People usually spend much time searching for respect in order to build a good reputation.

　　尊重是最重要的人类价值之一，永远不能被金钱或其他物品所取代。人们总是花费大量时间寻求尊重，来建立良好的声誉。

　　Wherever you’ll go and whatever you’ll do, you should never forget about respect. This wondrous value can provide you many chances and opportunities. People’s hearts are open to those who treat them with love and respect.

　　无论你要去哪里，无论你要做什么，永远都不要忘记尊重。这种令人惊叹的价值观可以为你提供许多机遇。对于以爱和尊重对待他人的人，人们总是喜欢敞开心扉。

　　My workmate always says that if people fear somebody, they’ll respect them. I do not agree with this idea, because only weak and cruel people build artificial respect based on fear and violence. Obedience and respect have something in common, but they’re different. Obedience can be reached by threats and intimidations. Respect can exist only in the relationships built on mutual understanding and benevolence. I think that companies that set respect as the main priority in their regular personnel usually succeed more often than those who use fear and lies.

　　我的同事总是说，如果人们害怕某个人，就会尊重他。我并不赞同这一点，因为只有软弱和残忍的人才通过恐吓和暴力获得虚假的尊重。顺从和尊重有一些共同点，但也有不同之处。顺从可以通过威胁和恐吓获得。而尊重只存在于基于互相理解和宽厚仁慈建立的关系中。我认为，将尊重置于人事关系优先地位的公司总是比使用恐惧和谎言的公司更容易成功。

　　Respect Destroys Enemies

　　尊重可以摧毁对手

　　I have always tried to find the way to get rid of my enemies. Frankly speaking, I haven’t found it yet, but I’ve noticed an interesting thing. We are living in a civilized world where people should cooperate with each other. That’s why it’s necessary to find civilized ways to deal with enemies legally.

　　我总是在寻找根除对手的方法。坦率地说，目前为止我还没找到。但是我发现了一件有趣的事情。我们生活在一个人与人之间互相合作的文明世界。这也是有必要寻找文明的方法合法地应对对手的原因。

　　Not long ago I’ve understood that the only way to get rid of my enemies is to make them my friends. I know that I can make friends with many people, because I’m an easy going person. The only problem is to develop a personalized approach to everyone. If I cannot make friends with them, I prefer just to stay in good relationships, because I’m not used to swallow my pride and I’ll never sacrifice my dignity. Sometimes it happens that my respectful treatment makes my enemies change their attitude towards me and they are often ready to go the extra mile（注1） for me.

　　不久之前我终于明白，消除对手的唯一方法就是把他们变成我的朋友。我知道我比较善于交朋友，因为我非常平易近人。唯一的问题是寻找对待每个人的个性化的方法。如果我不能和他们交朋友，我宁愿和他们保持比较好的关系，因为我不习惯低声下气，牺牲尊严。有时，我尊重地对待他们使他们改变了对我的态度，甚至愿意多做出一点努力。

　　Respect is an essential part of my life. This precious value helps me to live my life in a greater peace and balance. Respect supports me in reaching goals and makes my life easier. I prefer to use enemies to my advantage, because they’re my teachers and inspiration to move on and develop. I hope you learnt a good lesson from this little article and I hope you realize that respect is the choice of highly strong and confident people. What is respect for you? Do you treat your enemies and rivals with respect? Share your thoughts with us, please.

　　尊重是我生活的必要组成部分。这种宝贵的价值观帮助我更加和平，更加平衡地生活。尊重支持我实现目标，让我的生活更加轻松。我喜欢将对手为我所用，因为他们是我的老师，激励我不断前进，不断发展。我希望你能从这篇文章中学到有用的经验教训，也希望你能意识到，尊重是非常强大，非常自信的人的选择。尊重对你来说意味着什么呢？你是否尊重你的对手？欢迎大家一起分享自己的看法。

　　译者注1：

　　go the extra mile的原意是“多走一里路”。口语里面把它用来指“多付出一分代价”。

　　A: Nobody will ever believe anything I say again.

　　A: 不会有人再相信我所说的任何话了!

　　B: In that case, you have to go the extra mile to prove your credibility.

　　B: 如果是这样的话, 你就得多做一点, 来证明你的可信度。