As a parent it can sometimes feel as if you are drowning in conflicting information about your child\'s requirements; what they should be eating, what they should be learning. But there is one area where we might all like a little more help; how to improve parenting skills that can be of long-term benefit to their mental health. 作为一位父母，有时你会感到自己仿佛淹没在各种有关孩子需要的互相抵触的信息中；他们该吃什么，他们该学习什么。但是还有一个方面或许我们都希望得到更多一些的帮助；怎样提升对孩子心理健康长期有益的养育能力。 One in 10 children in the UK suffers from a diagnosable mental health disorder, and mental health issues for young people are an increasingly urgent concern. Now a pilot project in Southwark, south London, has found that teaching parents skills and techniques to better care for their children is having impressive consequences. The Empowering Parents, Empowering Communities course offers training in parenting, then teaches the mothers and fathers how to pass on what they have learnt. The results, for families in one of the most deprived boroughs in the country – where children have an above average likelihood of mental health problems – are being described as \"inspirational\". 在英国，每10个小孩中就有1个诊断出有心理健康异常，青少年的心理健康越来越成为迫切关心的问题。目前在伦敦南部萨瑟克进行的一项试验计划已经发现，教会父母如何更好照顾他们孩子的能力与技能可以收到不错的成效。授权的父母和授权的社区课程先提供了养育培训，再教父母怎样传授他们所学到的东西。对于那些来自英国最贫困市镇之一的家庭——他们的孩子有心理健康问题的可能性在平均水平之上——该计划的结果被描述为“鼓舞人心的”。 Hunaida Osman took the original course at the Maudsley hospital and now teaches the techniques to other parents. \"I was definitely the sort of parent who got angry easily and just shouted, \'Stop that\',\" she says. \"I\'ve got much better at explaining why I don\'t want my children to do something, and at praising them when they do something right. And it\'s been great for the parents I\'ve taught too; for some families who are on a low income, living in crowded conditions, with children who are playing up, you really need a bit of help and support in the best ways to deal with those kids.\" 奥斯曼（Hunaida Osman）在毛德斯莱医院上了最初的课程，现在她给其他父母教授技能。“我过去肯定是那种容易发怒而且只喜欢冲着小孩叫'不要做那个’的父母。”她说道，“在解释为什么不想我的小孩做某事的问题上，我已经有了很大的改进，而且当他们做对了事情的时候我会给予称赞。这些对我教过的父母也非常有用；有些低收入家庭生活在拥挤的环境里，小孩又需要玩耍，你的确需要一些帮助和支持，方能以最好的方式与孩子们相处。” Nicola Williams, another parent teaching the course, says those whose children have mental health issues have been particularly pleased. \"There was one mother who\'d had a lot of trouble with her son. She came along for a couple of sessions, but she didn\'t have any faith in what the course could do for her. She didn\'t really want to get involved in it at all. 威廉姆斯（Nicola Williams）是另一位教授课程的母亲，她说那些小孩有心理健康问题的父母对此特别欢迎。“有一位母亲在照看儿子上遇到了不少麻烦，她参加过几次讲习，但是对课程是否适合她没有信心。她根本不怎么想投入进来。” \"We gave her a handout which was about a really simple technique, using little mood faces to show what sort of mood you\'re in; smiley faces if you\'re happy, that sort of thing. And it was amazing. Her son used them when he got home from school every day, and she said just knowing what mood he was in made everything much simpler.\" “我们给了她一份宣传材料，上面介绍了一个非常简单的技能，用一些情绪化表情来显示处于什么心情中；如果高兴，就用笑脸，如此之类。效果是惊人的。她儿子每天放学回家就这么做，她说只要知道他是什么情绪，所有事情都变得简单多了。” Dr Crispin Day of the Institute of Psychiatry is evaluating the course as part of a long-term study. \"About half the children whose parents are on the course have difficulties which would be equivalent to a diagnosed disorder, but the parents who go to the group are reporting that their children are showing a significant reduction in the severity of their behaviour problems.\" 精神病学机构的戴医生（Dr Crispin Day）对从属于一项长期研究的此课程评价道：“参加课程的父母的小孩中大约一半诊断出有异常之类的问题，但是参加该小组的父母报告他们的小孩行为异常的厉害程度有了显著的降低。” Day has been running several groups simultaneouslyand early results are promising. For example, when parents were asked to say how concerned they were about their children on a scale between one to 10, levels on average dropped from approximately five-and-a-half out of 10 to two-and-a-half. Parents also filled out the Eyburg child behaviour inventory, which gives a score indicating how likely it is that the child may need clinical help (a score of 127 and over); the average score of the attending group dropped from just above 125 to 106. 戴同时掌管着几个这样的小组，从早期结果看是充满希望的。例如，当父母被要求从1到10来衡量他们对小孩有多担心时，平均程度从大约5.5降到了2.5。家长还填写了Eyburg孩子行为表，该表会给出一个分数以表明小孩需要就诊治疗的可能性有多大（分数在127或以上即需要就诊）；参加小组的平均分数从略高于125下降到了106。 Lessons to learn from the course 课程所学经验 Start with yourself 从自己做起 You need to know that you are good enough. Think of it like a jug of water: you can\'t keep emptying yourself out to look after children around you without filling yourself up again. 你需要让自己足够好才行。这就比如是一壶水：你自己都空空如也，拿什么去照顾孩子，非得把自己充满起来再说。 Remember what it\'s like to be a child 记住孩子的感受 Think back to your own childhood and recall how it felt when you said to your parents you were upset because no one wanted to play with you at breaktime. Then, as a parent, respond accordingly. Spend time with them and do something they like doing for a change, instead of trying to be in charge. Don\'t undervalue the importance of this: it can immediately shift things. 回忆一下你自己的童年，当你向父母倾诉因没人在休息时间愿陪你玩而感到苦恼时，你的感受是怎样的。然后，作为一位父母，你要做出相应的反应。花时间和他们在一起，有时要做些他们喜欢做的事情，而不要试图控制他们。不要低估这样做的重要性：它能立即奏效。 Descriptive praise 描述性赞扬 Be specific about what they have done, instead of just saying \"good boy/girl\". Learn to tell them what you want them to do instead of saying what you don\'t want: \"Hold my hand tight\", not \"don\'t run into the road\". 对他们的行为给予的赞扬务必要具体，而不要只是说“好孩子”。学会告诉他们你想要他们做什么，而不是说你不想要他们做什么：说“抓紧我的手”，而不要说“不要跑到马路上去了”。 Explain your behaviour 解释你的行为 It\'s important your child understands why you\'re doing what you\'re doing, so make sure you explain. And try to understand why they are behaving as they are. 让你的孩子理解你为什么做那些你在做的事是很重要的，所以你一定要解释清楚。还要尝试理解他们行为的动机。 Use sticker charts and star charts 使用贴图和星状图 Tangible rewards can teach and encourage self-discipline and end bad behaviour. 有形的奖赏可以训练和鼓励自律，并杜绝不良习惯。 |
|
|
