 这篇博文首先发表在Rebelle Society网站上。 Andrea Balt 在她30岁生日的时候写下了这篇文章，她所提出的一系列问题，值得我们任何年龄段上的人思考。 一早醒来，至此，生命之轮已经驶过了30个年头。一夜的辗转反侧后，脑子里第一个想法就是背上行囊，赶一趟列车，进入另一个国度，改掉原来的名字，换个发色（有必要的话，整一次容），然后一切从头开始。当我不知道如何面对生活的时候，我时常会选择逃避，有时也会抗争。 到了现在这个年纪，对于生活，不管是抗争还是逃避，我都得心应手。我很老沉，生活中阴暗和光明，我悉数走过，我也很年轻，还要经历更多的东西。然而，抗争也好，逃避也罢，若不是遵从一个人内心深处那些最真实的东西，两者都无益处，同时，两种反应若仅仅催生于内心的懦弱和恐惧，都会失之偏颇。 所以，我洗完脸后，仔细地考虑了逃避和抗争的代价，决定放弃这两种做法，而选择第三种方法。 我决定重新思考人生的价值，轻叩那一扇扇生活之门，因为我还没有钥匙。我提出了30个问题，觉得每个人在死去之前，都有必要问问自己。我们中间的很多人，已经度过了自己的30岁、40岁、50岁甚至更长的年岁，但他们对于整个人生、对于自己，都还不甚明了。 1.你曾经付出了多少爱？数数你爱过的人吧！每次谈到爱的时候，我总是盯着缺失的方面看，我不知道怎么回答这个问题，这些缺失都是建立在不满足的基础上的。如果你也有同感，不妨从自己这方面着手。你曾经付出了多少爱？当爱情伤到你、你不能爱、不该爱、不愿爱时，你曾经是否爱过？如果真是这样，那么你比自己想象的要富有。 2.哪些事情是你喜欢做但还没有做的事情？让我们想想，你在做自己热爱的事情时，是如何得到回报的？好好过好每一天的分分秒秒，是你的权利。你不应该只是浑浑噩噩地度过8个小时，然后又在接下来的4小时里用各种心灵的或身体的方法来分散注意力，以缓解自己因为没有做自己应该做、想做和必须做的事情而产生的焦虑情绪。 3.你会选择什么类型的人作为终身伴侣？找一个见证自己的一生的人？忘记自己心中那些对于事情“应该”“不能”“不愿”“不可能”的预设。如果你自己积极主动点，你会爱上谁，谁又会爱你呢？因为，这其中自己的作用力可以改变很多事情。当你大声说出自己梦想的时候，你就启动了引擎，你的整个一生蓄势待发，你将内心的愿望大声说出来，就开启了成功之门，梦想也能够实现。 4.你想在哪里生活？现在的居住之所，是否令你感到愉悦？若是换个地方，你会不会更开心？的确没错，你呆在哪个地方，就可以在那里安家，但确实有一些地方，与你自身的节奏更合拍。没有什么事情能比一个好伴侣、好环境更能激发、鼓舞你去发现并实现自己的使命了。 5.你想成就什么？最重要的是，为什么——–你的动机是什么？不要那么现实，生活本身即是浮想联翩的。 6.你想要人们记住你什么？将它写下来。可以参照这个句式：这个人——— 7.你羡慕哪种生活？为什么？如果可以从头再来，你的人生将会是何种光景？现在又会是什么情形？（嘘…….不要让怀疑渗进来，因为它可以摧毁一切） 8.你想要体验哪些冒险活动？可以列举出5项吗？冒险不只是孩童的专利——那个“10岁的我”也许永远都不会逝去。我们心中的那个孩子热爱、也愿意还原生活的最初面貌：宇宙中最伟大的冒险。 9.如果你可以为人类做点什么，你希望自己的贡献是什么？至少列出一件事情。这个世界并不欠你，你却欠这个世界。可喜的是，无论你的答案是什么，你都会很享受做这件事。 10.你的梦魇是什么？心中无法言说的东西？埋藏在心底并封存起来的那些部分？你内心深处最害怕的事物？大声的说出来吧。面对真实的自己，这样你才能战胜它们。 11.你最珍贵的记忆是什么？你能描绘出4、5件你在孩童时期非常感兴趣的事情么？他们之间有什么共同特性？当你深入思考时，总会体会出一两个改变生命的道理。你如何改变当下的生活经历，使其不偏离正确的轨道？ 12.你最爱的人是谁？如果有一天，海啸、星球爆炸或其它世界末日式的大事件来了，你最想让其和你乘坐生命之舟的10个人是？现在就列一个单子吧。你在脸谱上也许有上百万个朋友，但在世界末日那天，你若能找出10个你能为之死去、他们也能为你去死的人，你则是非常幸运的。马上给他们发邮件吧，告诉他们，如果有一天真的到了世界的尽头，你将请他们登上你的生命之舟。 13.你最担忧的事情是什么？担忧源于恐惧，而大多数的恐惧是自己想象出来的，所以你还在忧虑什么呢？ 14.什么样的人可以激发你，让你斗志昂扬？到了生命中的这个阶段，什么样的人能给你带来真正的平衡感？主动接近他们吧，多花点时间，和他们呆在一起，好好“感悟”他们。激情总是你生命中不可或缺的东西。 15.哪些人会降低你的生活体验，使你对自己不满？果断地和他们撇清关系吧。这并不是拒绝，只是一种选择而已，你不应该将自己的爱给那些不需要或者只会让你损耗的人身上。两个个体之间，爱是一种最崇高、最美好的交换。但它总之还是一种交换，你应该对自己爱的投资负责。 16.谁是你的心灵导师？他们教会了你什么？你能一一列出来吗？那些曾经给过你启发的作家、思想家、教师等等，如果你认识他们，就向其表达自己的谢意吧。无论是在言语还是在内心里，你都欠他们一声谢谢，因为你得回报他们给你的鼓舞和启发。他们极具感染力，可以激发你。 17.你的“电梯演讲”（短时间内推销自己）是什么？它不是那些打印在纸张上的工作经历、职业履历以及个人简历，而是以最简明的方式，概括出你是谁——–那个生涩的、未经修饰的、大胆的、平常的还是非凡的你？ 18.哪些事情你可以帮上忙？作为一个星球、一个物种、一个全球社区以及个体，我们面临着一些麻烦。如果你想生活在这里，你就得以付出精力解决一些难题作为代价。不用着急，别人也会帮助你解决问题，我们人与人之间就是这么互通有无的。不管好坏，我们每个人相互映衬着。 19.你通过什么方式创造性的表达自己？要相信：每个人生下来都是富有创造力的动物，你的表达方式是什么呢？任何一种形式的艺术都可以直达内心，它不是通过理性作用的。如果你想真正理解心灵，就得学会用艺术的语言。所以，选择一个艺术形式，现在就开始练习吧。 20.你是如何管理时间的？什么样的模式最适合你？如果生活陷入了混乱之中，你如何调整自己、恢复到正轨？这里有几条创造性的建议：你能不能制定一个计划，写下自己每天要做的事情（提醒自己坚持下来），或者找一些警句鞭策自己？ 21.如果你今天就要离开这个世界了，你想留下什么话？如果有一天你罹患不幸、猝然离世，你想对孩子们说些什么？现在就告诉他们你想要他们知道的关于你的一些事情吧。 22.什么事情能使你活力再现？什么东西可以激发你？什么使你忘记时间、空间、爱、食物和水、甚至心中的疑问——-极端一点的说？正如Bukowki（美国后现代主义诗歌大师，被尊为“新海明威”的“酒鬼诗人”）所说，“找到你的爱好，然后让它吞噬你。”（或着让它拯救你） 23.你最痛苦的记忆是什么？你仍旧在脑海里一遍遍重复这些记忆，然后将其作为害怕再一次受伤的借口、恐惧不已吗？你有没有想过，它们会使你不再相信自己的内心？ 24.你吃东西的方式为什么会是这样，你为什么会吃这些东西？什么东西是你觉得应该吃却没有吃的东西——–为什么？吃什么东西，在带来愉悦感的同时，尊重并滋养你的身体？不知道的话，现在就去找。你若不懂吃一些有益于身体的食物，就不懂敬畏生命。 25.什么可以激发你的大脑？你能为自己每天的生活再增添一些色彩么？比如说使自己变得更聪明？训练你的大脑？进化？不要将宝贵的时间浪费在一些没有意义的娱乐活动上面，因为它们只会麻醉人的心灵，使人萎缩。 26.什么样的体育锻炼能带给你不错的感受，不管事中事后你都很享受？如果你现在没有做这种锻炼，多阅读一些相关的书籍，多和从事这项锻炼的人群呆在一起，报个班，只要是激发自己这项运动的事，都可以尝试。 27.身体要达到最佳状态，需要些什么？你能否列出你感觉最健康、能使身体达到最佳状态、每天都想要练习的事物？如果不是很确定，现在就开始试验吧。 28.什么是你的精神食粮？什么能使你肃然起敬、顶礼膜拜？上帝？宗教？宇宙？科学？满天星辰的夜晚？音乐？艺术？还是动物？不管是什么，它应该超越在你的理解——-没有神秘，就没有所谓的敬畏。 29.目前为止，你最自豪的事情是什么？你成就了什么？不要拿自己和他人比较。总有一些人比你做得“少”，也总有一些人，比你做得“多”。然而，在人生的这个阶段（你所处的环境、现实），什么事情值得拥抱自己呢？不要犹豫。 30.时间往后推，看看你的墓志铭上说些什么？让我们看看Jack Kerouac（杰克·凯鲁亚克，美国小说家）留下的话吧，“他们活过、爱过也质疑过，他们造过福、冒过险…….他们不枉此生。” 所以，生命的意义是什么？ 好好把握住生命，并记住自己是富有的，因为你体内有一个自己随时都能触碰到的“宇宙”。 你的世界，一直都在由自己创造，如果外在的那些东西，不能使你思考最深层次、最伟大的真理，那么它们也无甚意义。如果那些爱、金钱以及荣誉不是自身奋斗的结果——无法深入真理，不妨先放下，因为它们只是你心灵建筑的屋顶，在给它添上屋顶之前，你得先发现、理解、创造这幢建筑。如果你不知道怎么开始建设，可以咨询。 by：Andrea Balt，他 是一位作家，健康咨询家，也是Rebelle Society的总编辑（合创者）。  下面是英文原文： A version of this post appeared previously on Rebelle Society. Andrea Balt wrote this piece on the occasion of her 30th birthday, but the questions she posed are worth considering at any age. By now, I’m good at both fighting and disappearing. I’m old enough to be acquainted with life’s darkest and most elevated places, and young enough to take more. But there’s no merit to either, fighting or flying, if they don’t come as a result of one’s deepest truth. When fueled by fear both responses are cowardly, both are equally wrong. So after I washed my face and considered the costs of running and those of fighting, I decided not to do either. I started contemplating a third alternative. I decided to re-evaluate the meaning of life and knock on doors I don’t have a key for, to come up with 30 questions that we should all ask ourselves before we die. Many of us get to 30, 40, 50 or beyond spending our entire lives as strangers to ourselves. 1. How much have you loved? Count the people. When it comes to love, I’ve been so focused on the minuses, I have no idea how to answer this; and these minuses are all based on not-enoughness. So if you’re in the red too, let’s put the ball back in our court. How much have you loved? Have you loved even when it hurts, when you can’t, when you shouldn’t, when you wouldn’t, when you didn’t? If so, you’re richer than you feel. 2. What do you love doing that you aren’t doing? Furthermore, how could you get paid for doing what you love? Let’s brainstorm. It’s your right to be alive every second of the day. You’re not supposed to spend eight hours in chains and the remaining four getting high on mental and physical distraction to cope with the depression of not doing what you should, what you want, what you need to be doing. 3. What person or type of person would you choose as a life companion? A witness to your life? Forget the shoulds, the can’ts, the won’ts, the impossibles. Who would you love and who would love you back if you could have a say in it? Cause see, your say in this makes all the difference. When you say your dreams out loud, you turn on the engine. It’s like this whole life is waiting to come rushing out of you and in wishing it — out loud — you open the gates and give it permission to happen. 4. Where do you want to live? Are you happy with your life where you are? Could you be happier somewhere else? It’s true that you can be home wherever you are. But it’s also true that some places are more in tune with the kind of life that comes bursting out of you. There’s nothing more inspiring and motivating than good company and an environment that reflect and support your mission. (MORE: Is Your Hometown a Place to Grow Old? Mine Is) 5. What do you want to accomplish? And most important, why — what’s your motivation? Be unrealistic. Life itself is unrealistic. 6. What do you want to be remembered by? Write it down. This is the man/woman who _______________. Take your time. 7. What kind of life would make you jealous? And why? If you could start over, what would your life look like, right now? (Psst … Don’t let your doubts in on this yet – they’re gonna’ ruin everything.) 8. What adventures do you want to have? Can you list five? Adventures aren’t just for children — or maybe the 10-year-old in us never dies. And it’s that inner child that really loves and lives life for what it is: the greatest adventure in the universe. 9. If you had to add something to humanity, what would your contribution be? List at least one thing. The world doesn’t owe you. You owe the world. The good news is that whatever the answer to this question, you’ll enjoy doing it. 10. What are your ghosts? Your unspoken demons? The stuff you keep in your closet under a lock? What are you most deeply afraid of? Say it out loud. Get real with yourself. It’s how you conquer them. 11. What are your favorite memories? Can you picture four or five instances in your childhood you are fond of? What’s the common denominator that lies at the core of them? There is usually only one or two life-altering statements that come up when you dig. How can you transform your current experiences so they begin with that same idea? 12. Who do you love the most? What 10 people would you put on a lifeboat in case of a universal tsunami, asteroid or any other realistic end-of-the-world event? Make a list. You can have a million friends on Facebook, but at the end of the day, you’re lucky if you can find 10 people you would die for and who would die for you. Email them as soon as you can. Remind them that if the world ends tomorrow, they’d be on your lifeboat. 13. What worries you the most? Worry comes from fear. And most fear is imaginary. So what are you worried about? 14. What type of people inspire you and make you come alive? What people at this point in your life add to the truest equation of you? Reach out to them, get closer, “touch” them, spend time with them, be around them. Aliveness is the one virus you always need to catch. (MORE: How to Break Up With a Friend) 15. What type of people bring you down and make you hate yourself? Break up with them. Today. It’s not rejection, it’s just selection. You must not invest your love in people who don’t want it and who use it to deplete you. ?Love is the most elevated, beautiful transaction between two creatures. But it’s still a transaction. You are responsible for your heart’s investments. 16. Who are your mentors? What have they taught you? Can you make a list? If you know them personally, thank the writers, thinkers, teachers, people who’ve shown you the way. You owe them a mention on your lips and in your heart; and you must pay the inspiration forward. It’s contagious and fuels you. 17. What is your cosmic elevator pitch? Not your job description, professional bio, resume, About page. In short, who are you – raw, unedited, wild, ordinary and extraordinary you? 18. What issues can you help with? We’re in trouble as a planet, as a species, as a global community and as individuals. If you want to live here, you need to pay the toll of helping out. Don’t worry, others will help clean your mess, too. It’s how it goes with humans. They mirror each other, for better or worse. 19. How can you express yourself creatively? Starting with the belief that we are all creative animals by nature, what’s your medium? Art of any kind speaks directly to the heart. It doesn’t go through reason. You need to speak Art if you want to understand Heart. So pick a medium and start practicing. 20. How do you manage your time? What works for you? If you’re a mess, how can you get it together? Here are some creative tips on productivity. Can you make a schedule, write down your routine (to help you stick to it), come up with a productivity credo of some sort? 21. If you were to leave the world today, what is your manifesto? What would you tell your children if you were forced to abandon them unexpectedly? Tell them what you would want them to know about you now. 22. What makes you come alive? What ignites you? What makes you forget time, and space, and love, and food and water and even why – if taken to extreme? As Bukowski put it, “Find out what you love and let it kill you.” (Or resurrect you.) 23. What are your most painful memories? Are you still replaying them in your mind and using them as an excuse to fuel your fear of getting hurt again? Do you think they might be keeping you from trusting your heart again? 24.? Why do you eat the way you eat and the things you eat? What do you think you should eat that you’re not eating – and why? What can you put in your body that gives you pleasure and also respects and nourishes it? If you don’t know, find out. You can’t honor life if you don’t eat what cultivates it. 25. What ignites your brain? Can you add more of that to your everyday life? Get smarter? Train your brain? Evolve? Don’t waste your precious time on meaningless entertainment that numbs your mind and makes you smaller. 26. What physical exercise makes you sweat like you mean it and enjoy both the process and the feeling afterward? If you’re not currently practicing it, can you read more about it, surround yourself with people who practice it, sign up for a class, do whatever will motivate you to take it on? 27. What does your body need in order to function at its best? Can you make a list of what makes you feel healthiest and function optimally and try to practice it every day? If you’re not sure, start experimenting. 28. What feeds your spirit? What gives you goosebumps? What makes you fall down to your knees in awe? Is it God? Religion? The universe? Science? Starry nights? Music? Art? Animals? Whatever it is, it should surpass your understanding — there is no awe without mystery. (MORE: Why Boomers Need to Ride Roller Coasters) 29. What are you proud of so far? What have you accomplished? Don’t compare yourself to others. There will always be someone who’s done “more” and some who’s done “less.” But what can you, at this point in your life (your circumstances, your reality), give yourself a hug for? Do it. 30. ?Fast-forward to your epitaph. What does it say? As a place-holder, let’s paraphrase Jack Kerouac: “They lived and loved and asked, blessed and adventured … and they weren’t sorry.” So, what is the meaning of life? Being able to sit with it and realize that you’re rich because you have a universe inside you that you can reach at any given moment. Your world is constantly being created through you and there is no meaning outside of you that won’t take your deepest, greatest truth in consideration. Skip love, money or fame if they don’t come as a result of your life-driving truth – they’re the roof to your inner house, and to add a roof you must first discover, understand and create that house. If you don’t know where to start building, just ask. Andrea Balt is a writer, wellness consultant and the co-founder/editor-in-chief of Rebelle Society, an online magazine reporting ideas and acts of creative rebellion. Like this article? Sign up for Next Avenue’s weekly newsletter to get more fascinating articles and blogs about work, finance and lifestyle issues geared to a 50+ audience. This story was originally published by Next Avenue. 译者： 25qiliu 原作者：?Andrea Balt, Next Avenue VIA：businessinsider End. 转载请注明来自36大数据（36dsj.com) |
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