那时你老了

那时你老了  

郁葱

我想在一个瞬间，翻过许多页码，

那时的你，如我们见到的许多疲惫的影子，

那时你老了。

 

那时你老了，

总在不经意中回忆着，

许多覆盖在生命短草上的时日，

一些语言、一个场景、一首诗，

一个你一直忘记，却又突然回忆起来的瞬间。

 

阳光不同了，绿不同了，夜晚不同了，

而经历依旧，你熟悉的旋律依旧。

步履蹒跚时，你看到那么多曾属于自己的鞋子，

照片上的容颜，

如同背景中熟透的苹果一样不可采摘。

 

那时你老了，

再没有了难以消解的夜。

那时没有了充盈，没有了叫喊，

没有了充满热望的火焰，

没有了湿润的唇，

没有了淹没血液的激动和盼望。

 

那时你老了，

平静的声音传到你细微的脉搏。

远去的是谁?走来的是谁?

那时你总在想：

身边，是谁的呼吸?

 

那时你老了，

那曾经年轻的都在变老。

你会说：那时的痛、缺憾、甚至背弃，

都多么的好，

那时灼热的手是张开的，

曾经随意丢掉的那些夜晚，

如玑珠一般从指缝间轻而易举地滑落。

 

那时你老了，

而一个人和另一些人，

也同样老了。

 

2001年6月21日

You're old at that time

 

 I want to turn many pages in one instance,

 you, on one page,

just like many fatigue figures everyday we can see on the streets,

you're old at that time.

 

You're old at that time,

always recall something unintentionally,

including many days covered on the top of a short grass,

which is a panorama of your lifetime,

some words, a scene, a poem,

a moment you have almost forgotten,

but suddenly call to remembrance.

 

The sunshine is different,

the green is different,

the night is also different,

but your past remains the same,

the melodies which you were familiar with are still the same.

When you are limping and staggering someday,

you suddenly see so many shoes ,which belonged to you ,in the past,

and your appearance on the photograph,

just like the apple, which is thoroughly ripe on the tree in the background,

can not be touched.

 

You're old at that time,

unendurable nights, you will have no more.

No unsatisfying, no groaning,

no flames full of desire,

no moist lips,

no excitement and fervently hope,

which can submerge your blood.

 

You're old at that time,

a calm voice passes to your slight pulse,

Who is walking away?

Who is approaching?

At that time you will always want to make it clear:

who is breathing, nearby?

 

You're old at that time,

those people once young are also getting older by and by.

You would say: the pain, the deficiency,

the disappointment, or even the abandoning,  

are so well altogether, in the past time.

Your scalding hot hands were always spreading out when you were young,

those nights you have once casually lost,

slip through your fingers easily just as pearl beads.

 

You're old at that time,  

someone and the others,

are also becoming old at the same time.

                                                                                              

田耘译于2009年3月