2011年山东高考英语作文阅卷谈

制, 两位教师的评分如果超过 7 分 要进行三评.通过这次亲临高考阅卷工作, 真正体会了高考的严肃和神圣. 首先我想和大家一起解读一下作文评分细则,本人认为对高考英语写作非常有意义. 一、极优档 (30 分) 书写规范, 覆盖所有要点, 内容充实,词汇丰富,有修辞意识. 这一档中今年没有一个考生有幸得到这个分数. 二、优秀 (26 –29 ) 紧扣主题;覆盖所有要点,内容充实;语法结构多样;词汇丰富,显示出较强的语言能力.语 言小错不超过 6 个 (标点符号,大小写,词性,单词拼写错误) 专家评定的 27 分作文： How is everything going? I’m very glad to know that you have come to Beijing to study. Are you satisfied with the life here? Have you adapted to studying here? As you know, an English speech will be held in Beijing in July. I like taking challenges so I have planned to join the English speech contest. In order to win the competition, I went all out for it. But I meet a lot of troubles . I don’t know how to organize the files and how to use words express my thought, I ‘d appreciate it if you could tell me the solutions to problems. I treasure this chances very much ,so it would be very kind of you to help me. In order to convey my heartfelt thanks to you . I’ll visit you after competition. I’ll take you to the Great Wall, and I am sure that you’ll be stuck by this amazing world wonder. 点评: 该考生的作文主要体现在用词会丰富上,比如:be satisfied with /adapt to/ take challenges/go out for/ treasure /convey/ be stuck by /this amazing wonder 句式多样:比如 被动句 As you know, an English speech will be held in Beijing in July. 复合句 I ‘d appreciate it if you could tell me the solutions to problems. 不过有三处小错误 1)A lot of troubles 2) this chances 3)---use words express my thought 三、良好( 22—25) 紧扣主题,覆盖所有要点,内容较充实, 语言有少量错误, 但基本不影响意思表达. （1）专家评定的 25 分作文： How is everything going? I’m so concerned about your life and study. We can communicate a lot in daily life. In order to participate in Middle school students’ English speech contest in July, I’m planning to search for some useful information. But I find I have difficulty in searching for information and spoken English. So I want ask you for your advice. I’m sure I’ll benefit a lot from your timely and valuable advice. I’ll appreciate it your could help me. After my speech contest, I’ll come to see you. I can show you around the tourist attractions. I think we will have a wonderful time! Looking forward to your early reply. 点评:该考生作文中出了两个大错 , 而且不可饶恕

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I’ll appreciate it your could help me. I want ask you for your advice. 而且位置在第二段的最后 ,非常扎眼.另外用词平淡,几乎所有的考生都有可能想到用这些词, 但是,该考生表达流畅,除了上面所列的大错外,几乎没有其他的语言错误 .所以专家给了 25 分. （2）专家评定的 22 分作文： How is everything going now ? I know that you came to Beijing for study last month. So does everything in Beijing agree with you? if you have any trouble living and studying in Beijing , I will go to help you. Recently, I took part in an English contest held in Beijing during holiday. But I found it difficult for me to look for useful information and the use the language properly. And there are of great importance to win the contest. Thus, can you help me? What’s more, I’m going to visit you after the contest. Is it convinient for you? I do hope that I can see you again. Looking forward to your reply. 点评:该考生语言错误明显增多, 要点全,内容较充实. 尽管整体表达上连贯性,不是很强, 流畅性欠缺,但该考生能正确使用了一些稍高档的句式或句型,比如, 1)you have any trouble living and studying in Beijing. 2) I found it difficult for me to look for useful information . 所以 专家还是给出了第三档的最低限 22 分。 四、一般 (18-21) 紧扣主题.基本覆盖所有要点, 能够表达基基本内容; 语言错误已影响了部分意思表达, 但多数句子基本正确 . （1）专家评定的 21 分作文： How is everything going ? Have you already adapted to the life in Beijing and do you have some problem in your study? I can’t wait to tell you the good news that my middle school have just allowed me join in the speech contest group. I will be going to Beijing in July. But I still have some problem in search the information and English words, could you give me some suggestions? you can call we in the next week. Give me some advice on how to use the English words and some must-see problems. I intend to meet you after the speech contest, you can show me around Beijing and we can visit your school! Best wishes! I will wait for your early reply. 点评:这篇写作与上篇特点差不多,语言错误比上篇稍多一点 ,用词非常平淡, 但不影响意思表达,能够表达基本要点,内容基本充实. （2）专家评定的 20 分作文： How is everything going? I feel greatly honorned to be your friend. Do you smile at the life? And how is your study goes? I will attend an English speech contest in July. But I have some troubles searching the articles and the using the language. What’s more, I don’t know how to use the words. On the one hand , I hope you can help me solving these problems. On the other hand, I want to communicate with you. we have not communicate with each other for a long time. As far as I’m concerned, you can give me a great help. What’s more, I want to play with you. I’m planning to go to the US after the speech contest, so that you can introduce your hometown to me. Last but not least , remember to smile at your life. I can’t wait to receive your reply. 点评:该考生语言错误似乎比前面两个考生要少,但是其要点不全,比如请求别人帮忙,但

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不知道感谢.内容不充实,乏味,缺少细节的支撑.表达上稍有点混乱,思维不清晰. （3）专家评定的 18 分作文： I miss you very much. I want to know that your life and study. I hear that you came to Beijing to studied, so I want to ask you some questions. Because I will take part in a English contest in summer holiday, and I meet some problem which collecting paper and using language. So I want to you can help me. It is important for me . It is important for me to have your help. Because you have reachied Beijing, so I believe that you can give me some suggestions. I know that you take interested in Chinese culture, so I think you give me papers in this way. When I finish the speech contest, I plan to visit you to communicate some interesting with you. 点评:该考生的语言大错 明显 增多,但还有多数句子正确，而且能表达基本要点，和基 本内容。所以专家给了个及格分数。 五、较差 (13—17) 内容不完整,要点不全; 行文不连贯, 语言错误(尤其是大错)较多,多数句子基本正确. 专家评定的 15 分作文： I’m very miss you .How do you do about your life and studying? Do you have any question? Well, I’m tell you a great thing. I’ll join in the high students speech contest on July . it can help me to provide my English. But now, I have many problem about collecting things and English speaking. Can you help me? You must to help me to write a speech letter. I’m very concern about this speech contest. If you have any free, welcome to visit my contest. If you have not free. I’ll go to US to see you after speech contest. Never forget to help me writing . I wait your E-mail. 六、差 (6-12) 内容混乱或主要内容偏离主题;能够写出少数与内容相关的可读句. （1）专家评定的 11 分作文： I want to see you very much. Do you have a matter? Your has the food in Beijing is must wonderful. What’s the matter with your life. I think is must comfortable. And what’s your study has the matter? You English is very much. So, I think you could help me. I will take part in a English speech contest. But, I have a problem, so, I need your help, I think my language is bad. And, my write is bad. So, I want to you help me . my English play doesn’t write. So do you write a English play to me? If you can , I’ll very happy.I wait English speech contest finished, I will go to Beijing visit you. I hope you recive letter to me, and I hope you can quickly. Because I will go to contest in April. （2）专家评定的 8 分作文： We have long time no meet. This is a very problem. I very miss you . you life is very ok, do you active? I am go to the active long time you study is ok? I have a speech contest .do you help me. I very hope you help , you are very good. I have lot’s of problem. I want you help to cost the problem.do you help me, this is a very good and neet thints you have to help. Because we are a good friends I weil go to you home I want meet you. I will go to you home to meet you after the speech contest. 七、极差 ( 0—5) 只能写出与内容相关的词语,没有有效信息;抄写其他文章或只写出与作文无关的内容.

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专家评定的 4 分作文： Hello, my good friend Tom. You are in the time how do you happy? You in the Beijing . Can eat Chinese food? I think Chinese food is very good. Want you in the Beijing learn stay is fun. I from to the Beijing in the 7 mon. from to in the student English speech contest. I hpe you help my English speech contest . I can speak English a later. Hope you help. However, the speek contest ask we can speak good English, want you lean to me.I want the speech contest in the over. Go to you home and you school ask to you in long time don’t look you. I is very very hope you. In last, want can you help me. In the English speech-ontest to be good. Thank you. is very thinks, bey. 通过以上对评分细则的解读,也许各位老师内心多少有点触动或感悟.要想得高分作文, 最重要的一条,要点要全,内容充实, 其次是要把句子写对 .做到这些作文肯定能再 25 左右,即第 三档.如果再有出彩的句子, 会跳到第二档,即 26-29 分.下面是我在阅卷中从考生试卷中摘抄的经典高频出彩句子,或者是 典型错误,希望对老师在以后的教学中有些作用. 出彩句子: I have some difficulty in doing something. I’ll appreciate it if you ----. Only with you help can I ---. Faced with so many problems, I have to turn to you for help. I will participate in a speech contest to be held in July. do somebody a favour there is no doubt that clause I am convinced that I have no choice but to 单词方面错误： difficult----difficulty grammer—grammar informations—information advices/advise—advice a news—news mounth—month troubles ---trouble heared—heard 错句： I very miss you . I very happy . I am miss you very much . I in favour of you . I will to visit you. 高考英语写作的类型并不是主要的,关键的是如何正确有序地根据题目所给的要点去表 达. 我们山东从 2008 至 2011 年作文全是书信, 因为书信最能有效地考查多个语言功能,比 如说问候,道歉,感谢等. 不管山东还是全国各地的高考作文,都注重了学生的生活,学生生活 中,有可能接触到的事,人,或者某中想法. 总之一点,学生看到作文题目后,都有东西可写,得分 高低,就看个人的英语表达能力了 我刚才提到了， 要点全,内容充实是得高分的首要. 写对句子是保障. 做到要点全,行文流 畅,句子对,至少在 22 分左右,也有可能得到更高的分数，哪怕都是简单句，至少能保证在及

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格线以上.确切地说能得到 20-22 分，这对于阅卷人来说，是比较安全的一个评分点。,但真 正的阅卷过程中,阅卷老师首先注意的还是语言.所以我们在平时的教学中,从简单的五种句 型抓起,强化练习,保证 70% 以上的同学能把句子写对,写出符合五中基本句型的句子,将是我 们备考最有效的过程之一. 在开始,我认为先不要忙着写大作文, 我们先从简单句入手,反复翻译,或仿写，彻底消灭 低级错误,能把简单句都能写全对的同学,说实在的,一个班也找不了多少.在这个基础上,再使 用复合句.整理加工能够让作文出彩的句型或高级词汇,不需要很多,多了记不住.作文出彩,用 不了几招,比如,so---that , I find it important/hard to do something,; He has made rapid progress, which makes---. 正确使用简单的定语从句,非谓语做定语或状语等,反复练，能学会 几招就够了，因为作文中，有一两处出彩的地方就可以了。 从整个阅卷的感受,我给考生三句话. 首段勿出错 ( 保证及格线) 二段要出彩 (保证 22 分以上) 三段快收敛 (见好就收,别留下扣分因素)

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