They Date Me And Wind Up With Someone Else

I have been divorced for five years and have taken my time to heal. Every time I date someone, it's short-lived. I typically get the old "I've been hurt too much in my past for anything right now" speech from these men.

Well then why did you ask me out? I'm not the women that hurt you. I would never and could never do that. I wind up friends with these guys, thinking they will realize who I am and that it will be different with me than their past relationships. What happens is that they end up telling me that they've found a pretty amazing woman and want to see where it goes with her. What am I doing wrong? When will it be my turn?

– My turn


I have no idea when it'll be your turn, but I can tell you that if you stop pursuing friendships with men who don't want to date you, you might speed up the process.

The minute a guy says, "I just can't," or shakes his head and complains about all of the women who've hurt him, just say, "Too bad. You seemed nice," and then move on. You shouldn't have to convince someone you're a good person or "wait it out" at the start of a relationship.

Start investing less and you'll get more, I swear.

Readers? When should she ditch these guys? When will it be her turn?

– Meredith