Many of us hold what we think are high standards for ourselves, but they are in fact impossible standards. if you would be soft on a friend in the same situation, there's no need to be hard on yourself. If your relationship's a healthy one, your first love will undoubtedly challenge this habit.
Maintaining a relationship is much different than casually dating or starting a relationship. To truly care for someone else takes effort and longevity. Learning how to care for someone over time, and how to make the right decisions for your situation, is a critical lesson we take from our first love.