Unless you're independently wealthy, you probably can't stroll into your new boss's office and say, 'Well, thanks for the opportunity. I think this is the part where I turn in my resignation letter,' and walk out. (Although it's fun to fantasize about.) No matter what you decide to do, you're going to need to bide your time, at least for a little while.
As you do that, look for the not-awful parts of your job. Chances are, there are things you'd like about this role, if it weren't for the deal-breakers you outlined above. Recognizing those good(ish) aspects won't just make you happier in the short-term, while you're stuck there; it'll help you understand what you enjoy doing at work in the long-term, which will guide you as you pick future job opportunities.
Even if you love your job, it's a good idea to do this. For an easier time tailoring your resume to future roles, you should also keep a copy of your CV without this latest gig on it. If you start looking for work the week after you take your new job, you won't want to include the role when you apply for new positions.
Job hopping might not be a big red flag to every employer these days, but a two-week-long tenure at your latest job will raise some questions you probably don't want to answer. It's hard to be positive and professional and honest about why you're jumping ship so soon.
At least 60 percent of all jobs are found by networking. Your next job could be one of them. Now's the time to look up those old colleagues, roommates, professors, and friends, and take them out to coffee or connect them on Linkdin. You never know who will be the person to send the perfect job opportunity your way.
If you moved on voluntarily, you can consider whether it's possible to go back to your old job. Sometimes, the way forward is by going back. If you liked your old job, but thought it was time to move on, this new situation might make you rethink that.
Whether you return to your old position, find a new job, or quit to do something new (return to school, consult or freelance, etc.), the important thing to remember is that you're under no obligation to include every brief stint on your resume.
If you stay at your less-than perfect new job for a very short period of time, and learn nothing that would contribute to your candidacy for another position, the smart move is to leave it off your CV.