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双语阅读 | 你真的适合恋爱了吗?

 漫咖啡33176677 2016-10-27


百度翻译





爱一个人是什么感觉?
仿佛突然有了软肋,也突然有了铠甲。
我们向往浪漫的爱情,却也常常被“爱情”冲昏了头脑,现在的你适合恋爱吗?你准备好开始一段感情了吗?看看《赫芬顿邮报》给出的 8 个判断方法吧~

1
You understand the importance of communication. 
深知沟通的重要性

Communication is the backbone of a relationship in terms of keeping both partners feeling heard and understood. Nobody can read your mind, nor should they expect you to try to read theirs. Being able to openly and honestly communicate with the person you’re committed to can make or break your relationship.
恋爱双方都需要被聆听、被理解,所以沟通是恋爱关系的主心骨。没人能读懂你的心思,另一半也不能这样要求你。恋人间是否能开诚布公地沟通会促进一段感情的开始或者导致感情结束。

2
You’ve got some semblance of a path in life.
对自己的人生道路有大致规划

It’s difficult to plan a future with someone who has no future plans for themselves. Things change and life throws curveballs at us — nobody can be expected to have it all figured out, but giving it a try is a good start.
如果一个人对自己的未来都毫无规划,那要与他/她共谋未来就相当困难。人生充满变数,生活还总爱给我们出难题——没人能解决所有问题,但尝试总是一个好开端。

3
You can let the little things slide.
不要斤斤计较

No matter how well two people get along, odds are you will not like every. single. little. thing. about the other person. There may be small quirks that you’ve got to accept (and maybe ignore). If you get annoyed by everything they do, it will cause unnecessary tension in the relationship.
无论两人相处得多好,你都有可能会不喜欢对方的某一点。有些小怪癖,你得学着接受或者忽视。如果对方做的任何事都会惹怒你,就容易造成关系紧张。

4
You’re ready to accept someone as they are.
准备好接受对方本来的样子
You can’t enter into a relationship with the hopes of molding someone into who you want them to be. It’s important to note that in a healthy relationship, both partners will motivate each other to become the best versions of themselves — this is not the same as trying to change someone’s nature.
进入一段恋情的时候,不要想着把对方改造成你想要的样子。这一点很重要,一定要注意:一段良好的恋爱关系会帮助双方都变成最好的自己,但不是要你去努力改变对方的本性。
 
Happiness comes from the ability to be honest, and the ability to be honest comes from being able to open up to someone without being judged.
快乐源于诚实,诚实源于你能打开心扉,而对方也不会肆意评断。

5
You don’t look for someone to complete you.
不要试图找个人来完善自我

You, right now, are a whole complete person. If you think you need to be in a relationship in order to be “complete,” you will always be looking for something you can never find. True fulfillment and satisfaction comes from within, and you cannot fully, effectively give yourself to someone until you’ve found it.
现在的你,就是一个完整的人。如果你认为自己需要一段恋情来让自己更完整,那你就是在寻找一个永远也找不到的东西。真正的完整和满足是发自内心的。如果你还没有找到自我,那你就无法完整地把自己交付他人。
 
You don’t need someone to complete you, only someone to accept you completely.
你需要的不是一个来帮助你完善自我的人,而是一个能完完全全接受你的人。

6
You are happy being single.
你能享受单身

If you’re not happy being single, you won’t be happy in a relationship. As said in the point above, true happiness comes from within. Single is simply a word to describe someone who is strong enough to live their life by themselves until the right person comes along to share it with.
如果你在单身的时候不开心,那你恋爱的时候也不会开心。如上一条所说的,真正的快乐是发自内心的。“单身”这个词,只是用来形容那些内心强大的人,他们可以一直独自生活,直到那个对的人出现,来与之分享生活。
 
If you’re constantly searching for a relationship out of loneliness, you will find yourself with the first person who comes along that is interested in you. We all need to have the dignity and self-respect to only commit ourselves to those who deserve it, and the only way to be able to wait for that is to be happy before they come along.
如果你一直是出于寂寞而寻求新恋情,那你往往会跟第一个对你感兴趣的人在一起。我们都要自尊自重,要把自己交付给一个值得的人。而唯一的方法,就是在他们出现之前,享受单身。

7
Your ex is no longer a factor.
你的前任已经是过去式

We all have a past, and the new person in our life needs to be able to accept that. But, we also have to accept that about ourselves, and be able to leave it in the past. Obviously this is not cut and dry if there are children involved or other mutual commitments independent of the relationship.
每个人都有过去,出现在我们生命里的新人都得学会接受我们的过去。我们也要学会接受自己的过去,学会把过往留在过去。当然,如果涉及到孩子,或者其它与感情无关的义务,就另当别论了。
 
I understand that in some rare occasions people stay friendly with their exes or maybe even spend time together, but in most situations, in order to truly move on we need to spend time completely cut off from them. No communication, no time together, nothing.
我也理解,在一些罕见的情况下,人们能与前任保持友好关系,甚至有时还会聚一聚,但大多数情况下,为了真正地重新开始,我们得花些时间完全与前任断绝来往。不联系,不见面,断得干干净净。
 
Until you are completely over your ex and can give your full time and attention to someone new, it is better not to commit.
除非前任彻底变成了过去式,你能够将全部的时间和精力都投入到新恋情中去,否则,不要轻易做出承诺。

8
You are ready to blend your life into someone else’s.
你已经准备好,将自己的生活与对方融为一体

While a relationship cannot be your entire life, it does permeate its entirety. You become connected with their friends, families, hobbies, pets, living situations... and they become connected with yours.
虽然感情不是生活的全部,但它确实会渗入生活的方方面面。你会跟对方的一切产生联系:朋友、家人、兴趣爱好、宠物、生活状况等等。对方也同样如此。
 
Sure, some privacy is important, but your willingness to fully accept someone into your life and routines is what will let the other person know you truly care and are ready to make a commitment to them. They will become your teammate in taking on life together. You will be building bridges between your lives rather than walls.

当然,各自保留一些私密空间是很重要的。但是你要表达出自己愿意完全接纳对方进入你的生活的心意,这样对方才知道你真的在乎他/她,真的做好了在一起的准备。如此,你们才能成为一起面对生活的伴侣,才能为双方的生活架起一座桥,而不是筑起一堵墙。


More important than some sort of “checklist” though, is something nobody else can ever tell you — how you feel inside. I believe when we reach the right phase in life or come across the right person, we will know we are ready to leave the single life behind and build a life alongside them.
比这个检查清单更重要的,是你自己的内心感受,这是谁都没法告诉你的。我相信,只要到了对的时间,或者遇到了对的人,我们就会知道,自己已经做好了准备,要告别单身,和那个对的人一起共筑未来。
 
But, until that person comes along, it’s important to work on ourselves and define our own happiness which we can then share with them.
但是,在那个人出现之前,我们要好好生活,享受自己的幸福,以后与他/她分享。
 
When you are ready, you will know.
当你准备好了,你会知道的。




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