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Saturday  艾玛，这年头，出轨已经成了常事了。Ta真出轨了我可咋整啊？ This is one of the most emotionally challenging ordeals that you can face in your entire life. And here I’m going to teach you a few things you can do right now to help yourself cope with the situation. 这可能是你这辈子情感上面能经历的最严酷的考验。这里会教你一些即时可以做的事情来应付这种情况。 So, if your spouse has cheated on you and you just don’t know what to do, read below to the very end and I guarantee you that there will be a few things that you can do to help you out and your spouse. 如果你的伴侣出轨了而你又不知道如何做，继续往下面读，一直读到末尾，我保证，这里会有一些你可以帮助到自己和伴侣的事情。
建议1 接受现状 It can be the most difficult thing in the world to just suck it up and accept, but in order to actually heal these wounds, you need to first accept the situation. 世上最难的事莫过于忍耐和接受，但是为了真正意义上治愈这些伤口，你先学会接受现状。 Accept that you’re angry, sad, depressed, confused, uncertain and highly stressed. And most importantly, accept that your spouse has cheated on you. This is the first step before you can take action and move on. 接受自己的愤怒，悲伤，抑郁，困惑，茫然和巨大压力。最重要的是，接受你的伴侣出轨的事实。在做出任何反应之前，这是第一步。
建议2 不要草率决定 When someone punches you in the face, your primal, gut reaction is to punch them back, right? In the case of your spouse cheating, your primal reaction might be to physically hurt your spouse, say horrible things to them, and file for divorce the very next day. You’re going to have to try to avoid these things. Take a moment, close your eyes and take a few deep breaths. Don’t do something that you’ll regret. 当一个人朝你打一拳，你的第一个本能反应就是打回去，是吧？在你伴侣出轨的情况，你先想打ta，然后对ta说各种恶毒的话，然后第二天立马诉讼离婚。你要尝试避免这样的事情，淡定，闭上双眼，深呼吸。不要去做会让你后悔的事情。
建议3 不要忽略你的身体 It’s very common to experience sleep problems, shakiness and nausea in reaction to it. Not taking care of your body during this very sensitive period can lead to you feeling much, much worse than you are right now. Remember to get your exercise and drink plenty of water . 面对这种情况，经历睡眠问题，颤抖，恶心是非常正常的。在这个敏感的时期不好好照顾你的身体会让你感到比你现在还痛苦得多！记得去锻炼加上喝足够的水。
建议4 和朋友一起找回笑声 It’s easy to just do “nothing”. It’s easy to just wake up and stay in bed, wallowing in depression and sadness. It’s acceptable at first but soon you’re going to have to find some happiness. Watch a funny movie or hang out with a friend that makes you laugh. Laughter truly can be the best medicine. 现在很容易就发呆，很容易就醒来就呆床上，在抑郁和悲伤中滚来滚去。最开始这样是可以接受的，不过很快你就必须自己去找些乐子，看一部好笑的电影或者和一个能让你笑起来的朋友出去玩。笑声是最好的药物。
建议5 寻求帮助 There’s no need to go through this traumatic experience alone. You don’t have to seek professional help but find someone who you know and you can trust. Tell them everything and count on them to provide you with thoughtful advice. Remember people do care about you. 没有必要独自经历这个创伤性的过程。你没有必要非得去找专业的帮助，但是你可以找一个你了解的，能信任的人，告诉他们所有的事情，让他们给你提供周全的意见。记住，人们是关心你的。
建议6 不要害怕释放负能量 A lot of people find it helpful to start a journal and write things down about how they feel about their spouses’ unfaithfulness. But you don’t have to write, you can paint, you can work, you can read. Put all that negative energy into something positive. And I can’t guarantee that you’ll be happy you’ll definitely find some sort of solace in it. 很多人觉得在日记里面写下自己对对方出轨行为的感受会很有帮助。你没有必要写，可以画画，可以工作，可以阅读。把所有负能量变成正能量，我保证你会在这里面找到一些安慰的。
建议7 一段时间的远离 Right now it probably hurts to even look at your spouse because infidelity is all that you can think about. If it’s possible, allow yourself some time to stay at your parent's place for a few nights, or even a close friend’s. By doing so, you do 2 things. 1- It gives you time to clear your head. 2- It allows your spouse to see how much is at stake. 这个时候甚至看一下你的伴侣心里都很痛，因为你的脑子里全是出轨。如果可能的话，去父母或者朋友家里住几个晚上。这期间，你去做两件事：1. 梳理你的头脑，2. 这也让你伴侣意识到意识的严重性。
建议8 不要让孩子卷进来 If you do have children, your children need to know that you’re going to be OK through all of this. Be honest with your children and let them know you’re going through some personal trauma. 你有孩子的话，应该让孩子知道你会好好的，对孩子说真话，让他们知道你正在经历个人的创伤。
建议9 问自己你还爱ta吗
1. If the answer’s ‘yes’, there is no doubt that everyone deserves a second chance. 1. 如果答案是‘爱’，那么毫无疑问，每个人都值得一个二次机会。 2. If the answer is ‘yes’, but this is not the first time your spouse has cheated on you, or if the answer’s simply ‘no’, then obviously it’s time to explore some other options. 2. 如果答案是‘爱’，但这不是ta第一次出轨，或者就是‘不’，那么很明显考虑其他选项的时候到了。 |
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