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Top 10: Things Women Want What Women Really Want From Men (Hint: It's Not All About Looks) 'What is it that she wants?' moaned every man at some point in his life after a particularly eggheaded argument with a woman they're dating. While you can't possibly hope to be the Superman who pleases all, there are some universal traits that seem to tick all the boxes for that most mysterious of sexes. You know, things like six packs and hair you can run your hands through. Kidding... Independence
Grooming Although there are plenty of women who like a good old grizzly, rugged, monkey-man, when it comes down to it, most women appreciate a little bit pf grooming and personal care. It's safe to assume the 'gentleman's triple' (back, sack and crack) will be received with gratitude. Be wary, however, that when it comes to self-maintenance, men walk a fine line: overkill suggests vanity and will be deemed unattractive. That said, women may be more forgiving when it comes to keeping in shape, but none loves a sofa-denting sloth who pays no attetion to his health - not least because it'll affect the bedroom staming crucial for a healthy relationship. Positive Being a positive person doesn't mean you need to be a happy-clappy missing member of the Brady Bunch, singing Sound of Music tunes at the drop of a hat. Neither does it mean you have to wave goodbye to a healthy dose of sarcasm (sacrilege for us Brits). It means that you exude a brightness of spirit taht wil encourage those around you to be happy. This is magnetising for all people , not just women. Assitant neuropsychologist at Psychologia Laura Forde says 'People - not just women - are immediately attracted to those with a positive outlook on life. Subconsciously we are all looking to be inspired and uplifted by a partner. This isn't just for courtship - effort must be made and maintained throughout a relationship'. Attentiveness Knowing when to talk and when to listen is crucial when it comes to bagging yur beauty, but recognising when she wants you to solve a problem and when she wants you to agree with her about her problem and allow her to wallow is a very key - and very neessary - distinction you'll need to be able to make. Katie, 32, had this issue with her now boyfriend (they talked it through) but it is one of the most common in any relatipnship :'Every time I would bitch about my boss, he would always get out his laptop and start helping me search for other jobs whereas all I wanted to do was for him to say:'You're right...he's a totral dick. WHAT A F***wit!! Let's kill him!' and then let me eat ice-cream' Sociability You might be really good at hanging out with your own friends. Most of us are. Who else is going to laugh at our worst jokes? It's the comfort zone. But a woman will always appreciate a man who steps out of that zone and into different social arenas. Research published in the Evolutionary Psychology Journal A Dating Mind goes a step further to say that it's not just social flexibility but social dominance and courageousness in social situations that turns the ladies on. Intelligence There's plenty of science behind this one: Researcher from the University of Mexico have found a connection betwween trong sperm and intelligence (seriouly) and researh conducted by the sex toy company Lovehoney found a direct connection with high IQ na libido. But don't go quaking in your boots just yet that you're sperm's weak and you've got the sex drive of your grandpa. Intelligence is obviously extremely relative and when it comes down to it, women will likely gravitate towards people on a similar wavelength, IQ wise. Women will, however, look for intellectual engagement that will parallel her own but also give light to areas of knowledge she might not otherwise have known about. Learning from your partner is a wonderful way to keep the flame alive in the long term - even if that means knowing everything about Star Trek (deep sigh of relief there.) 'Peter excited me so much when we were first dating and still does to this day. He knew all this random shit about science. I had never been into science, being more of a literary type myself but the way he talked about, like, astronomy for instance, in such a passionate way was really attractive. I was hooked,' says Louise, 35, of her husband of 7 years. Passion This doesn't mean just in the bedroom, it means passion infused into every aspect of life. It's crucial that this study found women are more likely to be drawn to a man who's passionate than good looking. which is a damn reassuring thing to hear if you didn't win 'Most Good Looking' in school. Patricia. 29, 'Kieran is perhaps overly passionate in every area of his life. He gets excited by every new adventure he undertakes and wants to know everything about it. It's pretty amazing to be along for the ride with someone who really takes the bull bu the horns and makes the most out of every experience. It's pretty infectious.' There is nothing sexier than a man who makes it very clear that he's going to be in the present and excited abput life. Sense of humor Lauging improves mood, stress levels, health in general and genuinely makes you a happier, more levelled individual. So it makes all the sense that women will seek to find a man that makes her laugh. The more laughter, the higher your chances of hooking her - it's a very simple equation. The profilic Greengross and Miller demonstrated in a 2008 study that 'woman founf humor to be an honest signal of other cognitive abilities, such as intelligence and therefore indicated a higher mate value.' Before you think you're doomed forever because you've not made anyone laugh in ages but your one-year old nephew, remember everyone has a different sense of humor - it's just a matter of finding someone with a similar one to yours. Even if that means you do really love fart jokes. Helena, 33, 'I knew Rich the one when he made me laugh till I cried the foirst time we met. He wasn't the most attractive man I had ever been out with the fact he kept me smiling and laughing made me want to spend all of my waking hours with him - as cheesy as that sounds. I have the most childish sense of humor so he really had me at the first toilet joke. I wouldn't recommend that though, as that's not everyone's thang.' Ambition Women are attracted to men who strive to be the best they can be. Men who set themselves clear goals and actively pursue them possess an appealing strength of character. This is the type of man a woman will feel safe depending on - someone who knows what he wants and can make it happen. According to research led by Wendy wood, Professor of Psychology at University of Southern California, the main thing women look for in men other than physical attraction is 'kinder gentler mates who can provide for their young'. Seems those gender roles are still subconsciously yet firmly in place. Note: ambition doesn't necessarily mean financial success, though it would be greatly overlooking a societal norm should we not admit that this will make a difference, however unmaterialistic a girl may count herself to be. Daphne, 47:'My first husband was highly successful in his field (finance). We got together in our 20's when he was climbing the career ladder at a huge corporation in London and then New York. Later in life he developed a failure mindset, become complacent with work, lost his spark... Our marriage went downhill during this period as it just seemed he was bored with life and with me. After our divorce, I met Peter, who owned (still does) his own landscasping company, loved it biut was making plans to start a sailing company in Mallorca. It was so refreshing that he was constantly looking to achieve and fight the next obstacle to get where he wanted yo be.' Confidence
One telling study from the International Journal of Cosmetic Science found that when men felt more confident their body language physically changed - and women's attraction increased. Feeling comfortable in your own skin and assured on your life path will be obvious physically, which is what will attract women above all. Remember the frog who turned into a prince? That could be YOU! OK! Not really buy you see where we're going with this... In terms of what actually comes out of your mounth, confident people are natural salespeople, and research shows that confidence makes us seem more trustworthy. When you're out on the meat market, selling how great you are, confidence makes people accept your pitch. Pretty logical, ain't it? |
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Economic dependence isn't a good feeling for either party in a relationship. But it's usually even harder when it's the guy who is lacking in that area. This doesn't mean you need to have all the money in the world but it does mean you need to be able to contribute equally.
