【每日生活】父母应该把孩子当作成年人的10个理由（双语）

Three years ago, myeldest daughter attended her friend’s birthday party. I wasbusy attending to my other children when the mother handed mydaughter a piece of cake. I asked mydaughter, “Did yousay, ‘Thankyou’?” Mydaughter said yes, she had. But the mother interjectedwith, “Meh,they’re kids. Kids don’t need to havemanners.” Iwas quite taken aback. I’ve never been a supporter ofthe saying, “kids willbe kids.” Ihave three young children and I believe that children are a lotmore capable than we all realize. If we set low expectations forchildren, we get low results. But when we see them as little peoplewho can be taught how to be kind and considerate, then their futureprospects will be so very different.

三年前, 我的大女儿参加了她朋友的生日晚会。当妈妈递给我女儿一块蛋糕时, 我正忙于照料我的其他孩子。我问我女儿,"你说,' 谢谢 '？我女儿说是的, 她有。但母亲插嘴说,"咩, 他们是孩子。孩子们不需要有礼貌。我很吃惊。我从来不支持这句谚语,"孩子们会是孩子"。我有三个年幼的孩子, 我相信孩子们比我们所认识的更能干。如果我们对孩子的期望值过低, 我们就会得到低的结果。但是当我们把他们看作是可以被教导如何善解人意的小人, 那么他们的未来前景将是如此的与众不同。

Here are 10 reasons why parentsshould sometimes treat their kids as adults.

这里有十个原因, 为什么父母有时应该把孩子当作成年人看待。

1. Your kids willhave a better understanding of boundaries.

你的孩子会更好地理解界限。
The phrase “kids will bekids” isoften used as a justification for misbehavior. For example, a childpushes in front of the line to get to the playground slide andsomeone comments, “kidswill be kids.”As much as young children’sbrains are developing, they still have the ability to learn what isappropriate and inappropriate behavior.

"孩子将是孩子" 这一短语经常被用作不当行为的理由。例如, 一个孩子在前面的线上推到操场上的幻灯片和别人的评论,"孩子将是孩子"。与幼儿的大脑发育一样, 他们仍然有能力学习什么是适当和不恰当的行为。

If we, as parents, believethat “John needs to realize thatit is not okay to push in front of theline,” thenchances are, our child will start to understand this too.It’s about setting boundaries and teaching themetiquette rules that will be useful for the rest of theirlife.

如果我们作为父母, 相信 "约翰需要认识到, 在前线推进不是好的," 那么有机会, 我们的孩子也会开始理解这一点。这是关于设置界限和教导他们的礼仪规则, 将对他们的余生有用。

2. Your kids willbetter understand responsibility.
你的孩子会更好地理解责任。

Childrenshouldn’tgrow up stress-ridden, but they need to learn the basics of beingresponsible. For example, as adults, we might have children or petsto look after. We have housework to do. We have food to cook. If welet our children help with some of these activities, they willlearn that responsibilities are a part of life. If you encourageyour child to make their bed every day, to help wash up afterdinner, to feed the pet goldfish, then you are teaching them thatsuccess happens when people work together.

孩子们不该长大, 但他们需要学习负责任的基本知识。例如, 作为成年人, 我们可能有孩子或宠物照看。我们有家务要做。我们有食物要做饭。如果我们让我们的孩子帮助一些这些活动, 他们会知道责任是生活的一部分。如果你鼓励你的孩子每天铺床, 晚饭后帮忙洗碗, 喂宠物金鱼, 那么你就在教他们, 当人们一起工作时, 成功就会发生。

3. Your kids mightdo more than what is expected of them.
你的孩子可能做的比他们期望的多。

For many of us, beingtold “Oh, youwouldn’tunderstand” wouldleave us feeling quite hurt, offended, or angry. For children,their reaction would probably be similar. But If you challenge yourchildren and give them the opportunity to prove themselves, thenyou’re basically tellingthem, “I believe in you.I think you’re capable.”Ifyou’re anxious about your child doing the dishes andnever ask them to, then you’re depriving yourself andthem of the chance to prove that they can. But if you give themthat chance, they might even start doing extra housework you neverasked them to do.

对我们中的大多数人来说, 被告知"噢, 你不会明白" 会让我们感到很伤心、冒犯或生气。对孩子来说, 他们的反应可能是相似的。但是如果你挑战你的孩子, 让他们有机会证明自己, 那么你基本上是在告诉他们,"我相信你。我想你是能干的。如果你担心你的孩子做菜, 从不要求他们, 那么你就剥夺了自己和他们的机会, 证明他们可以。但如果你给他们机会, 他们甚至可能开始做额外的家务, 你从来没有要求他们做。

4. Your kids willappreciate the value of being kind andconsiderate.
你的孩子会欣赏善良和体贴的价值。

Teaching your children empathy isone of the most important skills you can pass on. In a world wherecompetition and power can often override caring about others, it isessential to focus our parenting on kindness. Rather than lookingat our kids and thinking,“They’re tooyoung to understand how other peoplefeel,” teachthem to know how others are feeling. If your young child hearsanother child crying, make a comment,“Aww, that girlis crying. She must be feeling sad. I hope she isokay.” Inaddition to this, acknowledge and validate your ownchild’s feelings.

教导你的孩子移情是你可以通过的最重要的技能之一。在一个竞争和权力往往会凌驾于他人的世界之上, 我们的养育子女必须专注于仁慈。而不是看着我们的孩子和思考,"他们太年轻, 不能理解别人的感受," 教导他们知道别人是怎样的感觉。如果你的孩子听到另一个孩子在哭泣, 就做一个评论,"噢, 那个女孩在哭泣。她一定感到难过。我希望她没事。除此之外, 承认并验证你自己孩子的感情。

5. Your kids willfind it easier to believe in themselves.
你的孩子会发现自己更容易相信。

If you, the parent, believe inyour child, then chances are they will believe in themselves too.As adults, we know that life is filled with ups and downs. We knowthat sometimes there are setbacks that leave us struggling to getback up. If you encourage your child and value who they are, theyare very likely to feel the same about themselves. They will feelconfident about who they are and use that confidence to get themthrough life.

如果你, 父母, 相信你的孩子, 那么有机会他们也会相信自己。作为成年人, 我们知道生活充满了跌宕起伏。我们知道有时会有挫折, 让我们努力恢复。如果你鼓励你的孩子和珍惜他们是谁, 他们很可能会对自己感到同样的感觉。他们会对自己是谁, 并利用这种自信来度过一生。

6. Your kids willbecome stronger and more resilient.
你的孩子会变得更强壮, 更有韧性。

We parents often depend on what webelieve parenting should be. For some, being a parent is simplyabout protecting their child. For others, it’s about preparing theirchild for the future. Striking a balance between the two isprobably more ideal. Rather than trying to protect your childrenfrom all pain and suffering, do your best to help them cope withany future pain and suffering. If they don’t win aprize in pass-the-parcel, don’t be in a hurry to tellthe parents to find one for your child. Let them learn how to dealwith pain. Let them prove to themselves that they are strong andcan cope with disappointment. As an adult, this resilience willhelp them immensely in all areas of their life.

我们父母常常依赖于我们认为养育子女的方式。对一些人来说, 作为父母只是为了保护他们的孩子。对其他人来说, 这是为他们的孩子准备未来。在两者之间取得平衡可能更理想。与其试图保护你的孩子免于痛苦和痛苦, 不如尽力帮助他们应对未来的痛苦和苦难。如果他们没有在 pass-the-parcel 获得奖品, 不要急于告诉父母为你的孩子找一个。让他们学会如何处理疼痛。让他们向自己证明他们是坚强的, 并且能应付失望。作为一个成年人, 这种韧性将在他们生活的所有领域中极大地帮助他们。

7. Your kids willunderstand that you can’t always get what youwant.
你的孩子会明白你不能总是得到你想要的。

If you’re walking through thesupermarket with your young child and they’rescreaming for a chocolate bar, don’t feel pressuredinto buying it for them. As difficult as it is to resist thetemptation to keep them quiet, you need to believe that your childis capable of calming down without it. Your child will learn tobetter self-regulate their emotions and start to realize that youcan’t always get what you want inlife.

如果你和你的孩子一起穿过超市, 他们在尖叫着一个巧克力棒, 就不要为他们买了。像是抵制诱惑,让他们安静, 你需要相信你的孩子能够平静下来, 没有它。你的孩子会学会更好地自律自己的情绪,并开始意识到你不能总是得到你想要的生活。

8. Your kids willlearn how valuable it can be to share experiences withothers.
你的孩子会学习与他人分享经验的价值。

You might see fathers work ontheir cars with their kids. You might see mothers cooking withtheir children. You might see either mother or father sharing theirhobbies and interests with their young children.Doing “things that adultsdo” withyour child helps them realize that life isn’t aboutbeing on your own—it’s about experiencingthe journey of life with other people. This is an important lessonto teach your child because surrounding themselves with asupportive network of people will help them get through thechallenges of life. They will have people to count on, people theycan trust, people who make their lives better.

你可能会看到父亲和他们的孩子一起在他们的车上工作。你可能会看到母亲们在做饭。你可能会看到母亲或父亲与年幼的孩子分享他们的爱好和兴趣。做 "大人做的事情", 你的孩子帮助他们意识到生活并不在于你自己, 而是与别人一起体验人生的旅程。这是一个重要的教训, 教导你的孩子, 因为周围的人的支持网络将帮助他们渡过难关的生活。他们会有人指望, 他们可以信赖的人, 使他们的生活更好的人。

9. Your kids willreally feel that they matter.
你的孩子真的会觉得他们很重要。

When we sometimes look at our kidsas adults, they are more likely to feel that they are just likeeveryone else. Their age doesn’t mean that theydon’t matter. Their thoughts and opinions are not anyless important or valid. Let your child voice their thoughts oncontroversial topics. Let them express the individual that they arewithout censoring them completely. By seeing your child for whothey are, rather than what you want them to be, you’rereminding them that they matter.

当我们有时把我们的孩子看作成年人时, 他们更有可能觉得自己和其他人一样。他们的年龄并不意味着他们无关紧要。他们的想法和意见并不重要或有效。让你的孩子在有争议的话题上表达他们的想法。让他们表达个人, 他们是没有彻底审查他们。通过看到你的孩子是谁, 而不是你想要的, 你提醒他们, 他们是重要的。

10. Your kids willgrow up believing they really can make adifference.
你的孩子会长大, 相信他们真的能有所作为。你的孩子会长大, 相信他们真的能有所作为。

Most parents want to raisechildren who grow up being happy and successful. Theydon’twant much for them, aside from knowing that they are living a lifethat makes them happy and that they are utilizing their talents.When your kids tell you what they want to be when they grow up,don’t dismiss them. Don’t laugh.Encourage them and their dreams—even if those dreamsare likely to change many times in a year. When you treat yourchildren like adults, their thirst for knowledge increases. Theymight just understand and believe you when you say that they reallycan make a difference. That they are not just one person in thisworld. They are actually one person who has the potential to changethe world.

大多数父母想抚养长大的孩子, 他们快乐和成功。他们不需要太多的东西, 除了知道他们的生活使他们快乐, 他们正在利用他们的才华。当你的孩子告诉你他们长大后想做什么时, 不要解雇他们。不要笑。鼓励他们和他们的梦想--即使那些梦想在一年里有可能改变很多次。当你像大人一样对待孩子时, 他们渴求知识的欲望会增加。当你说他们真的能有所作为时, 他们可能会理解并相信你。他们不仅仅是这个世界上的一个人。实际上, 他们是一个有可能改变世界的人。