|
人们需要知道混血儿会经历什么，他们需要知道，我们需要更多的支持；这周，又一个母亲是亚洲人的混血儿的疯狂行为成为了美国全国性的新闻。这是我的照片。 我的母亲是中国人，我的父亲是美国白人。我是剖宫产的，出生于纽约弗拉兴。我出生后，我的母亲因输血生病了，感染了乙肝，去世了。我父亲是个温顺、痴迷于亚洲一切的“传统主义者”，他不善沟通，不想工作，而我的母亲却扑到他怀里，为的是融入西方社会和获得身份地位。 十年后，婚姻以暴力结束，分了卧室，她拼命想把我从父亲身边带走。 一般亚洲女性不知道的是，虽然她们在融入过程中有特权，但他们的儿子却没有。我哥哥34岁，看起来完全是中国人，仍然是一个处男，从来没有过女朋友。中国人不接受我，而白人女性一再拒绝我，因为我是中国人。即便是亚洲女性和亚裔美国女性对我也不例外。 此后，我绝不尊敬我的母亲——完全是因为她与一个讨厌我这样的半亚洲人的种族结婚了，而更糟的是，我父亲花了几年时间试图迫使我融入“白人”文化。虽然白人到中国生活会很轻松，但他所有的朋友都会开玩笑说，中国女孩很容易到手——我为何要为此感到骄傲呢？看起来像亚洲人的半亚洲男孩在什么样的世界才能正常生活——当他自己的母亲想要一个白人的时候，半亚洲男孩怎样才能形成健康的自尊呢？ 多次听到“当然你爸是白人”这样的话语后，我就非常厌恶听到这些话。很长一段时间，我都拒绝承认自己是中国人；我把头发剪短一点，以便让头发颜色看起来浅一点。如果中国和亚洲女性都是出了名的喜欢白人男性——我为什么要将自己视为中国人呢？她们显然希望接近白人——所以我尝试成为白人，但未能成功，因为我的母亲将我和哥哥抛弃到了一个种族主义盛行的西方社会，那里的人们认为我们有个无能的白人爸爸。 尽管拥有亚洲母亲的半亚洲人非常多，但他们几乎都默默无闻，这是有原因的。为什么三天前有个拥有亚洲母亲的半亚洲人在时报广场疯狂裸舞，为什么半亚洲人疯狂杀戮，这也是有原因的。我们的父母抛弃了我们。“两个世界的融合”是失败的，因为它是如此的不平衡。如果他们真的认为，确保孩子能在一个白人至上的种族主义世界中生存的最好办法是与白人至上主义者生孩子——那最好还是不要生孩子算了。现在，在我的帮助下，建立了一个关于半亚洲人的全球性英语论坛，这将继续为可预见的未来造势。我真的很遗憾，只能借助这样的方式，但我们当中有太多人都受够了，我需要亚洲社区的帮助来支持混血男孩 People need to be aware of what biracials go through and that we need additional support; this week was yet another biracial with an Asian mother making national news for insane behavior. This is my picture. My mother was Chinese and my father a White American. I was born through C-section in Flushing, NY, after which my mother became sick from the blood transfusion and developed Hepatitis B, and died. My father was a meek, racist Asiaphile “traditionalist” who has trouble communicating and didn’t want to work, and my mother threw herself at him for integration into Western society and for status. Ten years later the marriage ended in violence, separate bedrooms, and her desperately trying to take me away from my father. What Asianwomen in general don’t realize is that while they have privilege in integrating, their sons don’t. My brother is 34, looks totally Chinese, and is still a virgin, never having had a girlfriend. Chinese people do not accept me, and white women repeatedly turned me down for being Chinese. Even Asian women and Asian American women did too. I could never respect my mother after this – for literally marrying into a race that hates half of me, and worse, that my father spent years trying to force “white” culture onto me. While a white guy will have an easy time coming to China, all his friends will joke that Chinese girls are easy – why would that make me proud? In what world does it make sense for a half Asian son who looks Asian – would develop health esteem when his own mother wanted a white man? After the first 100 times I grew sick of hearing “of course it’s your dadwho is the whiteone.” For a long time I refused to even acknowledge I was Chinese; I would cut my hair short so it would be a lighter color. If Chinese and Asian women are famous for throwing themselves at white men – why would I want to identify as Chinese? They clearly want white men – so I tried but failed to be a white man, since my mother dumped me and my brother into racist western society with a clueless white dad. There’s a reason there are almost no successful half Asians with Asian mothers despite being so common. There’s a reason why three days ago a half Asian with an Asian mom danced naked and delusional in Times Square,why half Asians have gone on spree killings. Our parents abandoned us.The “merging of two worlds” is a failure as it is so lopsided. If they really, truly believe the best way to ensure that a child can survive in a white supremacist world is to have kids with white supremacists – it might be better to not have kids at all. And now with my help there is a tremendous, globe-spanning English language forum of half Asians all in agreement, and this will continue to build momentum for the forseeable future. I’m truly sorry it has to be this way, but enough of us have suffered and I need the help of the Asian community in supporting biracial sons. |
|
|
