|
1. Accept that Fear is Normal and You Need Courage to Face it “Courage is resistance of fear, mastery of fear – not absence of fear.” –Mark Twain We walk around with the illusion that fluent speakers don’t feel fear, that one day we’ll learn enough and we won’t be scared. The truth is that advanced speakers, and even native speakers feel fear when communicating. Fear is a fact of life, and those who have learned to conquer their fear are the ones who go far. As the Mark Twain quote says, courage is the resistance of fear, not the absence of fear. The only thing that will reduce your fear is to face it, and in doing so you build courage and confidence, and you will realize that the monsters you’ve created are not real. You may also realize that your biggest obstacle isn’t your English, but the fact that you are paralyzed by fear and have never learned how to face it. Fear is a fact of life, not just for English, but for everything. For example, job interviews, tests, meetings, presentations, talking to a pretty girl, or guy. You must learn to face it. “Life Begins at the end of your comfort zone. jacques: So what can you do to leave your comfort zone and find the courage to open your mouth and speak English? Really, what’s the worst that can happen? And what positive things could and will happen if you find the courage to open it again and again? jacques: 2. Accept That Your Mistakes and Difficulties are an Important Part of Learning “If you want to increase your success rate, double your failure rate.” –Thomas Watson, Sr. Another illusion that English learners tend to have is that fluent speakers don’t make mistakes. The truth is that we all make mistakes, even native speakers. Sure, English learners make more mistakes, and beginners make a lot more, but they’re a natural part of the process, and it’s the price you pay to develop fluency. You don’t succeed in anything in life if you aren’t prepared to make mistakes. It may help to know that very very few non-native speakers speak “perfect” English. You may look at them and think they’re speaking perfectly, but the vast majority of people who learn English as a second language make little mistakes along the way. Another important thing to understand is that native speakers don’t judge your fluency based on your mistakes. We judge your fluency based upon your ability to communicate and connect with us, which is the true function of the language. This does not mean that you should ignore your grammatical mistakes, but rather accept them as a part of the process, and take advantage of the opportunity to learn from them. “Mistakes are the portals of discovery.” jacques: Make English a Fun, Convenient and Practical Daily Habit Effective learners know that you have to apply what you learn to your life and create authentic experiences with the language. They also know that the best way to do this is to make it fun, practical, and above all, convenient. The more you get accustomed to using English in your daily life, the easier it will be to find the courage to conquer your fear of speaking. The problem with traditional methods is that learners focus way too much on grammar, and ignore the experience of English. What are these English For Life Strategies? We talk a lot more about them in 5 Ways to Make English a Fun Part of Your Daily Life, but a few of these are: watching TV & movies, listening to music you enjoy, listening to podcasts that teach English, and meeting people in person and online. When you start having daily contact with English in your life (English For Life), several things will happen: Your automatic reaction of fear when you don’t understand something will relax and you will feel calm even if you don’t understand everything. Every other aspect of your learning process will get easier because you will gradually get used to the sounds and rhythms of the language. You will become a lot more enthusiastic about your learning process because you will be doing things you enjoy in authentic learning situations. Learning grammar will get a lot easier because it will be complemented by authentic learning experiences 大锤: @Better English Corner i couldn't agree morewe r afraid of mistakes when we r going to speak. jacques: @Fay Yes, thanks, the only way to learn is to make mistakes, but we have to learn to judge less, in China everything seems to more, bigger, intenser and exponential, so also relentless competiton and so there is fear.. but let’s try to create an environment where mistakes can be made.. Master Greetings and Goodbyes One of the quickest ways to conquer your fear of speaking is to master greetings (hellos) and goodbyes. And I’m not just talking about “How are you?” and other simple ones. We use them in nearly every face-to-face and even online interactions, and even if you’re only a beginner, learning them will help you feel in control and fluent for few a small moments at the beginning and end of every conversation. You see, if you can connect with the person and make a fluent first impression, it’s much easier to start your conversation with courage and not get so paralyzed by your fear. And if you know how to say goodbye to a person in a relaxed and confident way, you will leave every conversation with a sense of dignity and confidence that will only build with time. You may not be able to get fluent in the entire English language in a few days or weeks, but you sure can learn how to communicate confidently and fluently with your greetings and goodbyes. With a great repertoire of greetings like, “What’s up?” “What’s going on?” “How have you been?” “What’s good?” you are able to connect with people in a natural and friendly way, which is great for your confidence. And by mastering a small group of dynamic goodbyes like “take care,” “have a good one,” “it was nice to see you,” “have a nice day/week/trip,” and “later,” you end every conversation on a positive note. This is one of the most dynamic and fun parts of the language, it immediately gives you the tools connect with almost anybody, and with just a handful of phrases, you can start and end every conversation with dignity, confidence, and even fluency. Find People Who Support Your Learning If your English learning support network is composed of people who are critical and unsupportive of you, it’s going to be difficult to overcome your fears because they are reinforcing them. As an English learner, you need to find people who encourage, support, and celebrate you in your learning and your mistakes. I’ve met too many people who have a distorted perception of their English ability because they are around people who criticize them and don’t give them the support they need. If the other person is more advanced than you, it’s often the case that their criticism and resistance comes from their own lack of self-esteem with their English. They criticize others because they don’t feel secure with their own English, and they feel validated if they verify that you speak worse. This also happens a lot with people who believe that fluency is merely a question of correct grammar and will incessantly criticize your mistakes while ignoring the more essential question of communication. So what kind of people do you need in your life to support your English? You need people and communities who encourage you to speak, to use your English, and to make lots of mistakes. They will help you understand that your mistakes, difficulties, and frustrations are completely natural, and that the only way to conquer them is to keep moving forward and build courage, to work hard and devote yourself to your process, and to make English a passion and something you do every day. You can find people and you can even meet people in person. |
|
|
