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以退为进,置敌在先 - 托福写作让步段的写法

 Linda1990d 2019-05-03

以退为进,置敌在先

让步段的四种方式

最近如火如荼热映中的《复仇者联盟4》,同学们都看了吗?剧中有这么一段(前方高能没有剧透):绿巨人去找古一法师……(以下省略十分钟情节),说到奇异博士当时是主动给了灭霸时间宝石。因为奇异博士在各个时间线上看了一遍,已经预知了后面的事情。每个漫威粉都有自己的favorite hero,但要说到今天的主角,就不得不提到古一法师和奇异博士这种充满了智慧和神秘东方色彩的流派。因为今天我们要讲的正是,已退为进的让步段。

一直以来很多同学对让步段有一种误会,觉得是凑数的段落,或者是想不出第三个分论点的妥协之举。所以就有很多同学尽量不写让步段,硬凑三个论点并导致逻辑重叠(具体见分论点之章);或者只写两个中间段,导致文章结构失衡(过长的中间段);再或者就是在让步段敷衍了事,完全按套路进行,使得总体分数被拉低。

但实际上让步段是什么呢?很多同学参加过辩论,请你们回想一下,在辩论中你给予对手的致命一击,究竟是自己的立论,还是对对方自以为无懈可击的论证的驳斥?从逻辑的角度,议论文的核心是说服力,是思维的交锋。所以让步段就是把对手可能的出招计算和预判,然后借力打力,先发制人。所以,让步段之所以常常出现在第四段,不是因为它是凑数的,而是因为它最适合给对手致命一击。

那么下面我们就以四种常见题型入手,讨论一下四种类型的让步段。

1

单关键词题型

例题:

Some first year college students do not have good study habits. Some people believe that colleges should provide all of the first year students with a required course to develop their good study habits. Other people believe that providing this kind of course is unnecessary. What is your opinion and why?(2019年2月24日)

单关键词题型指的是:题目中只有一个核心概念,不与其他概念进行比较。尤其,这种题型常常会出现绝对词,如most, best, all, every等。

需要注意的是,这道例题的表述是有两方观点的,但这并不代表它有两个关键词,因为正反两方讨论的问题都只是course to develop good study habits.

单关键词的让步段,当然可以以常规方式放在第四段,但实际上,它们更合适的位置是全文的第二段,也就是紧跟在开头后面。为什么呢?我们先看看这篇文章可以怎么写:

观点:There are no needs for college to provide first year students with habit developing courses.

没有必要由学校提供培养学习习惯的课程。

让步:Some may argue that as college learning differs from basic education in all aspects, habit-developing courses could serve as an effective catalyst in this transition.

有人会说,大学教育和高中教育十分不同,所以这些课程可以很好的成为这个过渡期的催化剂。

接下去我们就可以具体说说habit-developing courses的这种catalyst的作用如何体现:

This is partially true because while primary school and high school focus on introduce students a wide range of knowledge from virtually every major field of human heritage, college education lead learners to a deeper understanding of certain fields they’ve chosen and prepare them to be researchers and scholars who are ready to contribute to the whole knowledge community themselves. In this case, it is of great importance for students to shake off the old habits that does not fit the new learning system and establish new ones.

这个观点有正确的地方,因为……

写到这里,我们已经把在我们的理解中,我们的敌人最重要的观点写清楚了。甚至有的同学可能都要倒戈了。但是别急,我们很容易就可以回到自己的立场。

However, habits could hardly be cultivated through taking courses since individual students have different learning styles and every specific field requires unique way of exploring.

但是,同学上课是很难真正培养起良好的习惯的。一来,每个人的学习方式都不一样;二来,大学里不同的学科都有非常独特的研究方式,并不能一刀切地培养。

通过这个例子,同学们是否能够回到之前的那个问题了呢?为什么单关键词的题型适合在第二段让步?原理很简单,因为只有一个关键词,所以让步就是围绕着这个关键词展开的,而让步之后必然反驳,所以就很适合顺利成章地开展自己的两个主要观点。

2

双关键词(比较题型)

例题:

Nowadays, children rely too much on the technology, like computers, smartphones, video games for fun and entertainment; playing simpler toys or playing outside with friends would be better for the children’s development. Do you agree with the statement?(4月13日)

与单关键词不同,比较题型(双关键词题型)就一定有两个并列的概念,要求考生做出选择。在这种情况下,让步段的位置就较为适合放在第四段了。也就是先把自己选择A的理由说清楚,再把B的好处简单说一下,然后申明自己在两者间最后选A的理由。

以这道题为例,我们中间三段可以说:

Reason1:Playing simpler toys or playing outside with friends could effectively develop children’s manual dexterity which is a crucial ability in their early years.

理由一:玩简单游戏或者和朋友玩耍可以有效培养孩子的动手能力,这对早期发展是很重要的。

Reason2:Excessive use of these digital gadgets may also lead to a disruption of children’s social life while traditional activities benefit them more in terms of developing interpersonal skills.

理由二:过度使用电子产品可能会影响孩子的社交生活,而传统的这些玩耍方式更有利于发展孩子们的交际能力。

Reason3: Admittedly, being a generation of digital natives, children are naturally attracted to the emerging new technologies and thus are supposed to have a command of them. However, premature exposure to innovative products may cause uncharted consequences to children such as retarding intellectual development.

理由三:当然,作为电子原住民,现在的孩子自然会被新科技吸引,也应当有所掌握。但过早使用这个高科技产品可能会对他们产生不可预估的影响比如智力发展迟缓。

我们可以看到,与单关键词题型相比,比较题更适合先展开论述自己所选的关键词,更符合人类逻辑的习惯。但通过第四段对对方观点的处理,才能更完整地回答整个问题。表示自己也认真思考了B,但最后是在权衡之下选择了A。有的同学在比较题中通篇只写了自己选择的那个A,对另一个选项B只字不提,这样的文章逻辑上是有重大缺失的。

3

三选一结构No.1

例题:

The university will spend money on dormitory to improve the life quality of students, which of the following do you think is the best way?

-providing a room for quiet study;

-building an exercise room;

-providing entertainment place (watch film).

三选一其实就是三个选项的比较题,当然可以和比较题一样的结构,以本题为例:

Reason1: An exercise room provides students with accessibility to the space and equipment they need to strengthen their body and could help students develop the habit of working out regularly.

理由1:运动房给学生们提供了锻炼身体的空间和器械,帮助他们养成定期运动的良好习惯。

Reason2: By frequently using the exercise room, students could have more chances to meet and make friends with other residents in the same dormitory, especially those from different departments who otherwise will be unlikely to get to know.

理由2:经常去运动房的话,学生们就有机会结识住在同一屋檐下,但并不认识的同学,尤其那些别的系的,没什么机会认识的同学。

Reason3: A study room will not be necessary as any university has plenty of places for students to coelenterate on their work, including libraries, classrooms and cafes. An entertaining place may sound like a good idea but it may cause too much noise and disturb other students who are taking rest in their dorm.

理由3:自习室在大学里已经有很多了,不是很有必要。娱乐房听上去不错,但很可能发出噪音,打扰到要在寝室休息的同学。

我们可以看到,三选一的让步段只是将原来第四段的一个对方概念变成了两个,写的时候注意两个点的篇幅的平衡就可以了。

4

三选一结构No.2

例题:

A friend is going to reduce the living expenses. Which way will you recommend to your friend and why?

-Find a roommate that can share the living expenses;

-Buy the new technology products less frequently;

-Shop for less expensive food to cook at home

(2017年12月17日)

有时候三选一的题,每一个选项都较为具体,涉及到问题的不同方面。那么这一类的题,其实也很适合双让步的写法,也就是中间三段每一段各讲一个选项。这种结构中,对于没有选择的选项,必须要写的是不选择它的理由,而它有利的部分可以写也可以不写。所以严格讲它们已经不一定是让步段,而可以是彻底的反驳段。这样写的好处是能够充分处理清楚题目中的所有元素,真正完整地回答好题目。以本题为例:

Reason1:New technology products always play an important role in young people’s study and social life, making it hard for students to cut this budget.

观点1:新科技产品在学生的学习社交生活中占据着重要地位,使得削减这一部分开支非常困难。

Reason2:Cooking at home might not be a wise choice considering the fact that students who usually spend all day on campus won’t be able to go back home at each meal.

观点2:自己在家做饭可能不会是一个好的选择,因为整天都待在校园里的学生不太可能每顿饭都专门赶回家去。

Reason3: Splitting the rent with a roommate will significantly reduce the living cost since it usually takes up the largest portion of a student’s monthly expenses. Compared with the other tow options, this is also more practical and have least negative influence on one’s life quality.

观点3:找室友分摊房租能够最有效地降低开支,因为房租往往是学生的开支中最大的一个组成部分。与其他两个选择相比,它也最可行,最不影响生活质量。

通过这个例子可以看到,当选项直接的关系非常远的时候,这种双反驳段的写法并不会削弱对所选项目的关注,反而突出了我们最终选择它的理由。

小结

总而言之,让步段是一篇议论文中的战略要地,是帮助我们全面回答问题,并增强全文说服力的一个重要环节。能把让步段写好的同学,大作文一般不会低于GOOD段,因为我们说过很多遍了,只要有最基本的语言表达能力,决定作文成绩的首先是逻辑。


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