 The mother-in-law is an infamous figure in the minds of many, but how did she come to develop such an unsavory reputation? Sadhguru demystifies the mother-in-law, enumerating various biological and psychological factors at play. 对于很多人来说，婆婆是一个背负恶名的人物。但她是如何获得这样一种不招人喜欢的名声的？萨古鲁破开层层迷雾，探讨了各种生理和心理因素在其中所扮演的角色。 Question: There is a common saying in Tamil: “There is no man who has the right cattle for his farm. There is no man who has the right wife for his mother.” What is your perspective on this? 问：在Tamil（印度南部泰米尔邦），人们常言道：没有一个男人能为他的农场找到合适的牛。也没有一个男人能为他的母亲找到合适的媳妇。你对此如何看待？ Sadhguru: This is a fundamental problem in most human beings. They are always looking for the best person or the best thing to do in their life. There is no best person, nor is there a best thing to do on this planet. Whatever you do, if you put your heart into it and really throw yourself, it becomes a great thing to do. Whoever is next to you right now, if you give yourself totally, if you show total involvement, you will see, just anyone is fine. This moment, whoever is next to you, if you show absolute involvement, it is great to be with them. If you think, “Is this the best person?” no one in the world is the best person. Even if you get married to God, not just your mother, you yourself will complain. Sadhguru（萨古鲁）：这是大多数人的一个根本问题。他们总是在生命中寻找最好的人，或最好的事业。这个星球上没有最好的人，也没有最好的事业。不管你做什么，如果你全身心投入其中，真的把自己扔进去，它就会成为一件很棒的事。不管现在谁坐在你身边，如果你完全给出自己，如果你展示出全然的投入，你会看到，任何人都挺好的。此刻，不管你身边的人是谁，如果你展示出绝对的投入，和他们在一起就会是很棒的体验。如果你想：这是最好的人吗？这个世上没有所谓最好的人。即使你和神结婚，不仅是你妈妈，你自己都会抱怨。 A Mother and a Woman 母亲和女人 About satisfying the mother – when you say a mother, essentially she is a woman. Then she became a mother. When you say a wife, essentially she is a woman, then she became a wife. It is a secondary role. Her basic identity is that of being a woman. The next identity is maybe a wife and the next is a mother. It comes in that order. 关于满足母亲——当你说母亲时，本质上她是一个女人，然后她才成为一位母亲。当你说妻子时，本质上她是一个女人，然后她成为了一个妻子。这都是她们的附带角色。她最基本的身份是一个女人，然后才是妻子，然后才是母亲。是以此为顺序的。 Unfortunately, the same stupid relationship problems have been going on for centuries, endlessly. 很不幸的是，这个愚蠢的婆媳关系问题已经持续了几个世纪，没完没了。 Once it happened in America, a young man from a family in the Mid-west was going to get married to a girl. He told his mother and wanted to bring the girl home. It is a question of the mother’s blessing and also a little bit about her approval so that altercations do not happen in the house. At the same time, he was very fond of his mother, and he wanted to make it a little challenging and humorous for her. 这件事发生在美国。一个来自中西部的年轻男人决定和一位女孩结婚。他把这个消息告诉了母亲，并想把这个女孩带回家。一方面是为了接受母亲的祝福，另一方面也算是征求一下她的同意，以防家里意见不和。同时，他很爱自己的妈妈，所以想给她一点挑战，并逗逗她。 So, he brought three other office colleagues of his, who were all young women, along with his girlfriend. They all came for dinner, and his idea was that the mother should find out who the intended girl was. He behaved just the same with all of them so that she would not make out. After they all left, he asked, “Mama, do you know which is my girl?” She said, “I know. The one who was wearing the red vest.” He asked, “How did you know? I did not even look at her. I was always glancing at the others just so you do not know.” She said, “The moment she walked in, I didn’t like her. So it must be her.” 所以他带了三位同事，全是年轻的女人，还有他的女友到了家。他们都来吃晚餐，他的想法是，他妈妈应该要找出哪位才是他女友。他故意以同样的方式对待每一个人，这样妈妈就很难分辨出来。她们都离开后，他问：妈，你知道谁是我的女孩吗？她说：我知道，那个穿着女背心的。他问：你怎么知道？我都没正眼看她。我总是看向其他人，这样你就猜不出来了。她说：她一进来我就不喜欢她，所以肯定是她。 There is an instinctive rejection or resistance to the new woman coming into the house because you are now required to share someone who belonged to you in an unequal proportion – not even in equal proportions. A mother wants her son to get married and be happy. But on another level, a mother is still a woman. You have to seek permission to share something that belonged to you. That makes things a little difficult. Unfortunately, the same stupid relationship problems have been going on for centuries, endlessly. It could be changed, but people have not decided to change it. 人们对于新到家的女人有一种本能的抗拒和抵触，因为那个曾经属于你的人，现在你要和这个女人分享——还是以很不平等的比例。一个母亲总是希望儿子成家并快乐地生活。但在另一个层面上，一个母亲仍是一个女人。现在你得获得许可，才能分享到那个本属于你的人。这就让人感到有点难过。很不幸，这个愚蠢的关系问题已经持续了几世纪了，没完没了。这是可以改变的，但人们还没决定去做出改变 。 It is somewhat biological because it is all a process of procreation and protection. If a woman is not possessive about what belongs to her, she would not have taken care of her children. She would have just delivered them and walked away. It is biological, and that extends itself throughout life in some way or the other. However, if one is mature and aware, one can grow out of it. 从某种层面上，这是生物性的，因为这整个就是繁衍和保护的过程。如果一个女人对于自己所拥有的东西没有占有欲，她就不会去照顾好她的孩子。她就会生完孩子就走开了。这种生物性的特征也贯穿了整个生命，以这种或那种方式。然而，如果一个人成熟并且有觉知，她是可以走出这种模式的。 原文链接： |
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