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中英对照文本 I grew up in the former Soviet Union. My parents and I lived in a communal apartment with nine other families. When my parents wanted to be romantic they would send me to look out the window. 我成长在前苏联。我父母和我与其他九个家庭住在一栋集体公寓。每当我父母想浪漫一下，他们都会让我望向窗外。 One day my dad said, “So what did you see out the window?” I said, “Our neighbors being romantic.” He said, “How could you tell?” I said, “Because their son is looking at me.” 一天我爸说：「那你在窗外看到了什么。」我说：「我们的邻居在浪漫。」他说：「你怎么知道的？」我说：「因为他们儿子在看着我。」 My parents laughed. At that moment, I felt that I was in the presence of love. As a child, I made the discovery that laughter must be the way people communicate to one another that they’re happy. 我父母笑了。当时，我觉得自己见证到了爱。作为一个小孩，我发现笑声一定是人们向他人表达自己开心的方式。 Did you know that there has been actual research into the relationship between laughter and happy marriages? For over four decades, Dr. John Gottman, Professor of Psychology at the University of Washington, has studied thousands of couples in both successful relationships and not-so-successful ones. “Couples who laugh together,” he concludes, “last together.” 你知道真的有研究调查过笑声与幸福婚姻的关系吗？四十年来，约翰·戈特曼博士，华盛顿大学的心理学教授，研究了上千对有着成功或不那么成功婚姻关系的夫妻。「一起欢笑的夫妻」他总结到，「厮守终生。」 Here’s how it works: we make each other happy first and then laughter reassures us that we are on the right track. The fading away of laughter may be the best way to tell if your relationship has gone off course. 它是这样的：我们首先令对方开心，然后笑声使我们确信我们走在正轨上。笑声的逐渐消失或许是判断你们关系是否偏离正轨的最佳方式。 So here is what I want you to start doing: listen for laughter in your relationship. 因此这是我希望你开始做的：倾听你们关系中的笑声。 And not just any laughter – listen for moments when you share laughter together. If that isn’t happening just about every day, it is time to do something about it. 不是随便什么笑声——聆听你们一起欢笑的时候。如果它哪天没有出现，那就是时候做点什么了。 Let me give you an example from my own life. One night, I was putting my son Alexander to bed. He was cranky and crying. My wife said to me, “I’ll show you how to put the baby to sleep.” She took Alexander from me and put him in the bassinet and put the bassinet on top of the dryer. Two minutes later he was sound asleep. I said “Oh great. All other kids are going to go to daycare center. I’ll have to drop him off at the laundromat. Oh, that bundle? Yeah, that one is mine.” 让我给你一个我自己生活中的例子。一天晚上，我正在哄我儿子亚历山大睡觉。他又哭又闹。我老婆跟我说：「我给你示范一下怎么哄宝宝睡觉。」她从我手中接过亚历山大，把他放在摇篮里，然后把摇篮放在烘干机上。两分钟后他就睡得很香了。我说「太好了，其他小孩都要去日托中心。我只要把他送到自动洗衣店。噢，那一包呀？没错，那包是我的。」 My wife did not laugh. As a comedian, I should have caught that. In my show, if a joke doesn’t get a laugh, I analyze what went wrong. Perhaps change the set-up, or a punch line to get the laughter back. I use laughter as a gauge of the happiness of my audience. At that time, I did not understand that it could be applied to my personal life as well. If I had understood that laughter was a gauge of happiness, I might have saved my marriage. 我老婆没有笑。作为一个喜剧演员，我心里有数了。在我的节目里，如果一个笑话没有赢得笑声，我会分析哪里出错了。也许会修改铺垫或者笑点来赢回笑声。我用笑声来衡量我观众的幸福。当时，我不知道它也可以应用到我的个人生活中。如果我知道笑声是幸福的标准，我或许就可以挽救我的婚姻。 As I started to research the science of happiness, I learned that when there is a genuine connection between people, laughter is the first thing that happens as a confirmation of a happy relationship. 当我开始研究幸福的科学。我了解到当人们之间产生真诚联系时，笑声的出现是幸福关系的第一个保证。 The intimacy comes next and then people get married and live together. 然后是亲密感，人们由此结婚并一起生活。 When things are not working, laughter is the first thing to go. 当事情不尽人意时，笑声是最先失去的。 Second thing to go is intimacy. 第二失去的是亲密感。 Third thing is your house. 第三是你的房子。 Of course, marriages and relationships break up for all sorts of reasons. But, I can say with confidence, if you’re not laughing, there is trouble ahead. 当然，婚姻和关系破裂有各种各样的原因。但我可以有把握地说，如果你们没有在笑，那就有麻烦了。 So, how do you get the laughter back if you’ve lost it? Every relationship is different, of course, but there is one constant: To laugh together, you need to be together. And that literally means time together. 因此，你如何找回你们已经失去的笑声？当然，每个人的关系都不一样，但有一个共同点：要一起欢笑，你们必须在一起。而它就是字面意思的共处。 You need to start by making a decision that time together is important and it’s not negotiable. Set a date night, take a dance lesson, a cooking class. Doesn’t matter what you do. You just have to do it. 你需要开始下决心，共处是重要的而且是不能讨价还价的。安排约会之夜，上舞蹈课，烹饪课。做什么不重要，你只需要去做。 According to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, American couples sleep an average 7.2 hours a day, work 8.5 hours a day, and watch television 2.4 hours a day. Then they wanted to know how much time are we intimate with one another. They combined hugging, kissing, cuddling and lovemaking. It was one minute a day. 根据美国劳工统计局，美国的夫妻平均每天睡 7.2 小时，每天工作 8.5 小时，每天看电视 2.4 小时。他们还想知道我们花多长时间和对方亲热。他们算上了拥抱，亲吻，依偎和做爱。结果是每天一分钟。 So if you’re doing it for 20 minutes, you’re using somebody else’s minutes…And they don’t roll over. 因此，如果你花 20 分钟和老婆亲热，你也是在使用其他人的时间……而且它们不能转存。 I believe that if you understand the connection between happiness and laughter, you’ll be way ahead of those statistics. You will have better or even best chance to have a long, lasting happy relationship. 我相信如果你明白幸福与笑声之间的联系，你就会遥遥领先这些数据。你将更有甚至一定会拥有一段长久、终生的幸福婚姻关系。 Just like the gas gauge in your car let’s you know how much gas you have in your tank, laughter can let you know how much happiness you have in your relationship. 就像你车上的油量表让你知道油缸里还有多少油，笑声可以让你知道你们的关系里还有多少幸福。 The goal is to live happily ever laughter. And maybe make love more than one minute a day. 目标是生活在欢声笑语中。还有或者每天亲热超过一分钟。 I’m Yakov Smirnoff for Prager University. 我是雅科夫·史默诺夫，为 PragerU 制作。 译校：FungChuh |
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