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大家一定都玩过一种心理测试：同一道题目，选A或选B不同的选项，会跳转到不同的下一题，根据一次次不同的选择，最终会得出迥异的结果。 今天想推荐给大家的短篇小说就是一篇酷似心理测试的故事，作者为同一个开头“约翰和玛丽相遇了”设想了六个情节发展思路，最后竟然都殊途同归指向同一个结局。 这是我读过最奇特的短篇小说之一，来自我很喜欢的一个作家玛格丽特·阿特伍德（Margaret Atwood）。她是大热美剧《使女的故事》的原作者，加拿大国宝级作家。 小说的篇幅短小精悍，一顿午餐的时间就能读完，语言简单直白，讽刺不露声色地藏匿在字里行间。 John and Mary meet. What happens next? If you want a happy ending, try A. John and Mary fall in love and get married. They both have worthwhile and remunerative jobs which they find stimulating and challenging. They buy a charming house. Real estate values go up. Eventually, when they can afford live-in help, they have two children, to whom they are devoted. The children turn out well. John and Mary have a stimulating and challenging sex life and worthwhile friends. They go on fun vacations together. They retire. They both have hobbies which they find stimulating and challenging. Eventually they die. This is the end of the story.约翰与玛丽相恋而结婚。两人都从事着挑战刺激的工作，做的事很有意义，报酬也颇为丰厚。他们买了幢迷人的房子。接着房子升值了。等雇得起住在雇主家的帮佣后，夫妻俩便生了两个孩子，并把孩子照顾得无微不至。孩子们健康地成长起来。约翰与玛丽的性生活同样的挑战刺激，另外，他们结交的朋友也都是些为人敬重之士。两人从来共度假日。后来，他们退休了。他们都有一些挑战刺激的娱乐爱好。最后，两人离开人世。这就是故事的结局。- remunerative [rɪˈmjuːnərətɪv] adj. making a lot of money 赚钱多的；报酬高的
- stimulating [ˈstɪmjəleɪtɪŋ] adj. exciting or full of new ideas 趣味盎然的；激励人的；振奋人心的
- live-in adj. a live-in job is one in which you live with the family you work for 住在雇主家的
- devoted [dɪˈvəʊtɪd] adj. giving someone or something a lot of love and attention 挚爱的；投入的
 Mary falls in love with John but John doesn't fall in love with Mary. He merely uses her body for selfish pleasure and ego gratification of a tepid kind. He comes to her apartment twice a week and she cooks him dinner, you'll notice that he doesn't even consider her worth the price of a dinner out, and after he's eaten dinner he fucks her and after that he falls asleep, while she does the dishes so he won't think she's untidy, having all those dirty dishes lying around, and puts on fresh lipstick so she'll look good when he wakes up, but when he wakes up he doesn't even notice, he puts on his socks and his shorts and his pants and his shirt and his tie and his shoes, the reverse order from the one in which he took them off.玛丽爱上了约翰，但约翰却不爱玛丽。约翰不过借玛丽的身体来追逐一己快感、满足微渺的自尊。约翰每周去两次玛丽的住所，玛丽为约翰备置晚餐，看得出约翰甚至觉得玛丽连外出就餐的价都值不上，吃完饭，约翰就开始上玛丽，之后便昏昏大睡，玛丽开始收拾餐桌了，这样男人醒后就不会因餐碟散乱而觉得她邋遢，她还涂上了口红，这样等约翰醒来时她看起来不错，可惜睡醒的约翰压根没注意这点，他穿好袜子、内衣、长裤、衬衫、领带和鞋，顺序恰好与脱的时候相反。
- ego n. the opinion that you have about yourself 自我，自我意识
- gratification [ˌɡrætɪfɪˈkeɪʃn] n. the state of feeling pleasure when sth. goes well for you or when your desires are satisfied; sth. that gives you pleasure 满足；满意；快感；令人喜悦的事物
- tepid [ˈtepɪd] adj. not enthusiastic （感情、反应等）缺乏热情的，冷淡的
- of ... a kind two, three etc. people or things that are very similar 同一类的，类似的
- lie around / about If things are lying around, they are left in places where they should not be. 到处乱扔乱放
He doesn't take off Mary's clothes, she takes them off herself, she acts as if she's dying for it every time, not because she likes sex exactly, she doesn't, but she wants John to think she does because if they do it often enough surely he'll get used to her, he'll come to depend on her and they will get married, but John goes out the door with hardly so much as a good-night and three days later he turns up at six o'clock and they do the whole thing over again.约翰没有为玛丽宽衣，衣服都是玛丽自己脱的，而且每次都表现得迫不及待的样子，倒不是因为她对做爱有多么感兴趣，不，她只是希望让约翰觉得她感兴趣，因为她以为久而久之约翰就会习惯她，继而依赖她，直到最后结婚。然而，约翰连一句晚安也没说就打开门走了。三天后的六点他又来到玛丽家，然后一切重演。 Mary gets run-down. Crying is bad for your face, everyone knows that and so does Mary but she can't stop. People at work notice. Her friends tell her John is a rat, a pig, a dog, he isn't good enough for her, but she can't believe it. Inside John, she thinks, is another John, who is much nicer. This other John will emerge like a butterfly from a cocoon, a Jack from a box, a pit from a prune, if the first John is only squeezed enough.玛丽撑不住了。哭泣有伤容颜，这谁都知道，玛丽也不例外，可她就是忍不住。这事儿给同事们察觉了。朋友对她讲，约翰是臭耗子、猪猡、劣狗，配不上她，但她无法相信。她觉得，约翰身体内还有另一个约翰，那个约翰要好得多。当第一个约翰被压缩到一定程度，另一个约翰就会浮出，如同蝴蝶飞出蚕蛹，小人儿跳出玩具盒，西梅露出了里面的核。- run-down adj. Someone who is run-down is tired and not healthy. 精疲力竭的，衰弱的
- cocoon [kəˈkuːn] n. a silk cover that young moths and other insects make to protect themselves while they are growing 茧
- prune [pruːn] n. the single large hard seed in some fruits 梅干，（洋）李脯
- squeeze [skwiːz] v. If you squeeze a liquid or a soft substance out of an object, you get the liquid or substance out by pressing the object. 压榨，挤出
One evening John complains about the food. He has never complained about her food before. Mary is hurt.Her friends tell her they've seen him in a restaurant with another woman, whose name is Madge. It's not even Madge that finally gets to Mary: it's the restaurant. John has never taken Mary to a restaurant. Mary collects all the sleeping pills and aspirins she can find, and takes them and half a bottle of sherry. You can see what kind of a woman she is by the fact that it's not even whiskey. She leaves a note for John. She hopes he'll discover her and get her to the hospital in time and repent and then they can get married, but this fails to happen and she dies.一天傍晚，约翰开始抱怨起玛丽做的饭菜。他还从来没对此有什么不满。玛丽受伤了。
朋友告诉她说曾看见约翰和一个叫玛姬的女人在餐馆共餐。让玛丽想不开的不是玛姬，而是餐馆。约翰从未带她去过餐馆吃饭。玛丽把能找到的安眠药和阿司匹林都找出来了，就着半瓶雪利酒一并吞了下去。喝的是雪利酒，而不是威士忌，从这儿也可看出玛丽是哪类女人。她给约翰留了张纸条。她希望约翰能发现一切，并及时把她送到医院，接着悔不当初，最终两人结婚。但事情并不这样，玛丽死了。- repent [rɪˈpent] v. to be very sorry for something bad you have done in the past and wish that you had not done it 忏悔；懊悔，后悔
John marries Madge and everything continues as in A.
John, who is an older man, falls in love with Mary, and Mary, who is only twenty-two, feels sorry for him because he's worried about his hair falling out. She sleeps with him even though she's not in love with him. She met him at work. She's in love with someone called James, who is twenty-two also and not yet ready to settle down.老男人约翰爱上了玛丽，年仅二十二岁的玛丽对他心生怜意，因为他老是担心毛发脱落。玛丽和约翰上床，尽管她并不爱他。两人在工作时见面。玛丽喜欢一个叫詹姆斯的小伙儿，也是二十二岁，他还没做下安稳度日的准备。- fall out If a tooth or your hair falls out, it is then no longer attached to your body. （牙齿或头发）掉落，脱落
- settle down to start living a quiet and calm life in one place, especially when you get married 安顿下来，安定下来（尤指结婚）
John on the contrary settled down long ago: this is what is bothering him. John has a steady, respectable job and is getting ahead in his field, but Mary isn't impressed by him, she's impressed by James, who has a motorcycle and a fabulous record collection. But James is often away on his motorcycle, being free. Freedom isn't the same for girls, so in the meantime Mary spends Thursday evenings with John. Thursdays are the only days John can get away. 而约翰早就安顿下来了：恰是这点让他心烦气躁。约翰有一份稳定、体面的工作，在他的领域也算得上领头人，但玛丽并不为之所动，让她大动芳心的是詹姆斯，小伙子有辆摩托车，还集了数量惊人的碟片。詹姆斯常骑着摩托到处跑，无拘无束。女孩子对自由有不同的看法，所以与此同时每周四的晚上玛丽都和约翰待在一起。约翰只有在星期四才脱得开身。- respectable adj. good or satisfactory 好的；令人满意的
John is married to a woman called Madge and they have two children, a charming house which they bought just before the real estate values went up, and hobbies which they find stimulating and challenging, when they have the time. John tells Mary how important she is to him, but of course he can't leave his wife because a commitment is a commitment. He goes on about this more than is necessary and Mary finds it boring, but older men can keep it up longer so on the whole she has a fairly good time.约翰和一个叫玛姬的女人结了婚，他们有两个孩子，还有幢迷人的房子，房子刚买房价就涨上去了，空闲时，两人有些刺激挑战的娱乐爱好。约翰对玛丽说她对自己有多么重要，他当然不可能抛弃玛姬，因为无论怎样承诺是不能毁的。约翰一遍遍地重复，说多了玛丽也厌了，但年纪稍大的男人总能更好地践行承诺，所以总的来说玛丽的生活还是很惬意的。- commitment [kəˈmɪtmənt] n. a promise to do something or to behave in a particular way 承诺
One day James breezes in on his motorcycle with some top-grade California hybrid and James and Mary get higher than you'd believe possible and they climb into bed. Everything becomes very underwater, but along comes John, who has a key to Mary's apartment. He finds them stoned and entwined. He's hardly in any position to be jealous, considering Madge, but nevertheless he's overcome with despair. Finally he's middle-aged, in two years he'll be as bald as an egg and he can't stand it. He purchases a handgun, saying he needs it for target practice – this is the thin part of the plot, but it can be dealt with later – and shoots the two of them and himself.—天，詹姆斯驾着配上了特等加州动力设备的摩托车飞驰而来，他与玛丽的兴致高涨到了极点，接着两人上了床开始享受肌肤之亲。一切都在暗中进行，就在这时约翰来了，他有玛丽家的钥匙。他发现两人喝得酩酊大醉缠绕在一起。想到玛姬，约翰没有立场嫉妒，但仍陷入了绝望的深渊。不管怎样，他已人到中年，再过两年头发全落头就会光得像鸡蛋一样，对此他无法忍受。他借口练习射击购置了一把手枪（这些细枝末节容稍后再说），然后枪毙了詹姆斯和玛丽，最后自杀。Madge, after a suitable period of mourning, marries an understanding man called Fred and everything continues as in A, but under different names.玛姬悲伤了一段时间，丧期过后，便与一个叫弗莱德的善解人意的男人结了婚，故事又回到了A，只不过人名不同而已。- mourn [mɔːn] v. to feel very sad and to miss someone after they have died 悼念，哀悼，为…哀痛
- understanding adj. sympathetic and kind about other people’s problems 能谅解的，宽容的
Fred and Madge have no problems. They get along exceptionally well and are good at working out any little difficulties that may arise. But their charming house is by the seashore and one day a giant tidal wave approaches. Real estate values go down. The rest of the story is about what caused the tidal wave and how they escape from it. They do, though thousands drown. Some of the story is about how the thousands drown, but Fred and Madge are virtuous and lucky. Finally on high ground they clasp each other, wet and dripping and grateful, and continue as in A.弗莱德和玛姬日子过得顺顺利利。两人很默契，即便碰到小问题也都成功解决了。两人有幢迷人的临海房子，某日，巨浪袭来。房价下跌。接下来的故事就是关于巨浪的成因以及两人是如何躲过灾难的。尽管成千上万的人因此丧命，但弗莱德和玛姬还是躲过了此劫。故事的一部分讲述这成千上万人是如何溺亡的，而品性正直的弗莱德和玛姬得到了上苍的眷顾。最后在一个高地上，他们感激地紧紧相拥，不管全身湿透水滴答流。他们感谢命运，故事再次回到A。
- exceptionally [ɪkˈsepʃənəli] adv. extremely 极其，非常
- virtuous [ˈvɜːtʃuəs] adj. behaving in a very honest and moral way 有德行的，品行端正的
- grateful [ˈɡreɪtfəl] adj.感激的；感谢的
- clasp [klɑːsp $ klæsp] v. to hold someone or something tightly, closing your fingers or arms around them 握紧；抱紧；抓住
Yes, but Fred has a bad heart. The rest of the story is about how kind and understanding they both are until Fred dies. Then Madge devotes herself to charity work until the end of A. If you like, it can be 'Madge,' 'cancer,' 'guilty and confused,' and 'bird watching.'两人生活的确幸福和睦，但弗莱德心脏很差。余下的故事就是讲两人如何通情达理、善待对方，直到弗莱德离去。接着玛姬全身心地投入慈善事业，直到A故事结束。如果你喜欢，那么剩下的故事可以是“玛姬”、“癌症”、“愧疚与困惑”以及“观鸟”。If you think this is all too bourgeois, make John a revolutionary and Mary a counterespionage agent and see how far that gets you. Remember, this is Canada. You'll still end up with A, though in between you may get a lustful brawling saga of passionate involvement, a chronicle of our times, sort of.如果你觉得上面的故事太小资，那么就让约翰是个革命分子，玛丽是个反间谍女特工，来看看故事可以带你走多远吧。记住，这里是加拿大。尽管其中可能有关于激情和贪欲的喧嚷的传奇叙述，还有对我们所处时代的纵览，最后还得以A收尾。- bourgeois [ˈbʊəʒwɑː] adj. feeling or showing thanks because sb has done sth kind for you or has done as you asked 资产阶级的；布尔乔亚的
- revolutionary [ˌrevəˈluːʃənəri] n. someone who joins in or supports a political or social revolution 革命者，革命家
- espionage [ˈespiənɑːʒ] n. the activity of finding out the political, military, or industrial secrets of your enemies or rivals by using spies 谍报活动，间谍行为
- lustful [ˈlʌstfəl] adj. feeling or showing strong sexual desire 色欲的，好色的
- brawl[brɔːl] v. a noisy quarrel or fight among a group of people, especially in a public place 争吵，打斗，闹事
- saga [ˈsɑːɡə] n.a long story, account, or sequence of events 长篇小说；长篇故事；一连串事件
- chronicle [ˈkrɒnɪkəl] n. a written record of a series of events, especially historical events, written in the order in which they happened 编年史，年代记
You'll have to face it, the endings are the same however you slice it. Don't be deluded by any other endings, they're all fake, either deliberately fake, with malicious intent to deceive, or just motivated by excessive optimism if not by downright sentimentality.你不得不接受这点，无论你如何拼割，结果都是殊途同归。不要为其他结尾迷惑了，那些都是假的，可能是心存邪念有意欺骗，也可能是太善感、或过于乐观。- delude [dɪˈluːd] v. to make someone believe something that is not true 欺骗，哄骗
- malicious [məˈlɪʃəs] adj. having or showing hatred and a desire to harm sb. or hurt their feelings 怀有恶意的，恶毒的
- deceive [dɪˈsiːv] v. to make someone believe something that is not true 欺骗
- downright adv. used to emphasize that something is completely bad or untrue 十足地，彻底地
- sentimentality n. excessive tenderness, sadness, or nostalgia 多愁善感；感情用事
The only authentic ending is the one provided here:John and Mary die. John and Mary die. John and Mary die.约翰和玛丽离开人世，约翰和玛丽离开人世，约翰和玛丽离开人世。So much for endings. Beginnings are always more fun. True connoisseurs, however, are known to favor the stretch in between, since it's the hardest to do anything with.结尾已谈得够多了。向来开头更有趣。虽然众所周知，真正的行家最喜欢的还是中间这部分，因为要想在这部分变花样最困难。- connoisseur [ˌkɒnəˈsɜː] adj. someone who knows a lot about something such as art, food, or music 鉴赏家，鉴定家
- stretch n. a continuous period of time 一段时间
That's about all that can be said for plots, which anyway are just one thing after another, a what and a what and a what. Now try How and Why. 关于情节的一切已倾囊倒出，说到底，这不就是一件事接另一件事、一个怎么了和另一个怎么了嘛。
现在来试试“事情是怎样发生的”以及“为何会这样”。
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