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预言家周刊
关于伏地魔的最没道理的几个梗 来源：预言家日报社S1翻译部 序 It doesn’t matter how much you love the incredible writing and magical storytelling of J.K. Rowling, or how much you admire the directing skills of Chris Columbus or Alfonso Cuaron or any other director of the Harry Potter film franchise. It’simpossible not to question some of the more problematic aspects of the series,pertaining both to the booksand to the films. 无论你多么喜欢J.K.罗琳不可思议的写作和奇妙的故事，也不管你有多欣赏克里斯·哥伦布、阿方索·卡龙或哈利波特系列电影的其他导演的导演技巧。但很难不去质疑这个系列中一些更有问题的地方，包括书和电影。 Perhaps the most questionable part oftheentire Harry Potter series is Lord Voldemort. Obviously, he isa flawed humanbeing, and J.K. Rowling made him that way on purpose. But thereare also severalthings about him that don’t make a lot of sense. 也许整个哈利·波特系列中最值得质疑的是伏地魔。显然，他是一个有缺陷的人，J.K.罗琳故意这样对他。但也有一些关于他的没有多大意义的事。 For example, why doesn’t the Voldemortfromthe films have a nose? What was the reasoning behind this? Additionally,whywas it so difficult for him to end Harry – and whenever he did attempt todoso, why did he always wait until the end of the school year? So as nottodisturb Harry while he took his O.W.L.S.? We’re sure that can’t be right. 例如，为什么电影中的伏地魔没有鼻子？这背后的原因是什么？此外，为什么他这么难杀死哈利――而每当他尝试杀死哈利，他为什么总是等到学年结束？以免在哈利拿着他的O.W.L.S成绩时打扰他。我们确信这不可能是正确的。 Voldemort in both the books and themoviesis a ridiculous, albeit important, character – and what better way toexemplify this than with a meme? 伏地魔在书和电影中都是荒谬而重要的一个角色，除了用片段梗还有什么更好的方法来例证这一点呢？ Read on for some Memes That Show ThatVoldemort Makes No Sense. 阅读以下几个梗，证明伏地魔没有道理。 译者：Aquila Serpens 1. WHY HIPSTER VOLDEMORT ISN’T MOREPOPULAR 为什么潮人伏地魔不那么受欢迎？
Although Voldemort himself was not averylikable guy, his counterpart from the internet verse, Hipster Voldemort,was atotal blast! 虽然Voldemort本人并不是一个非常讨人喜欢的人，但他从网络同人诗歌《Hipster Voldemort（潮人伏地魔）》中得到的却是一个爆炸！ As mentioned in a previous entry,HipsterVoldemort hated Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson) long before it was coolwiththe release of the Twilight Saga. Hating something before anyoneelse hatesit is the definition of hipster, as is liking something again onceeveryone elsestarts to hate it. 正如前一篇文章中提到的，潮人伏地魔在《暮光之城》的发布之前很快就痛恨了爱德华·卡伦（罗伯特帕丁森）。讨厌别人之前的东西，这是Hipster【潮人】的定义，当他开始喜欢某物，其他人都开始讨厌它。 Hipster Voldemort clearly also likedtoenjoy bands, creatures, and other such things prior to their being very cool. 潮人伏地魔显然也喜欢在乐队变得很棒之前欣赏乐队、动物和其他类似的东西。 In truth, Tom Riddle was obsessed withthebasilisk and the underground world of Hogwarts when he was still astudentthere. Then, when Harry and his friends were in school and discoveredtheunderground part of Hogwarts, particularly in Harry Potter and theChamber ofSecrets when they go down to the chambers, suddenlyeveryone knows about theunderground area of Hogwarts. 事实上，当Tom Riddle还是一名学生时，他对霍格沃茨的地下堡垒和地下世界着迷。然后，当Harry和他的朋友们在学校发现霍格沃茨的地下部分，特别是在《哈利·波特与密室》中，当他们进入密室，突然所有人都知道了霍格沃茨的地下区域。 Nobody gives credit to Tom Riddle,onceagain the original hipster, for discovering and obsessing over these darkpartsof Hogwarts long before it was cool and written into the Harry Potterbooks! 没有人相信Tom Riddle，他又一次是最初的潮人，因为在霍格沃茨黑暗的地方变得广为人知之前就发现并且迷恋上了它而被写入《哈利波特》中。 Even if nobody else will give him creditfor his trailblazing ways, we credit Voldemort for being the originalhipster,and starting trends that have trickled well into this day and age. 即使没有人会因为他的开拓方式而授予他荣誉，我们也相信Voldemort是最初的潮人，并从那时开始发展到今天这个时代。 译者：Aquila Serpens 2. HIS LOGIC 2.他的逻辑
As with most illogical, bigotedindividuals,Voldemort’s reasoning for why he wants to rid the wizarding worldofhalf-bloods, Muggles, Muggle borns makes about as much sense as a pigflying. 就像大多数不合逻辑、偏执的个人一样，伏地魔解释了为什么他要摆脱混血的魔法世界，麻瓜，麻瓜出身的麻瓜和猪蝇一样，都是有道理的。 In short: it makes absolutely no sense. Voldemort himself was a half-bloodwizard!His mother was a Muggle. And yet here he was, trying to wipe outthreedifferent groups that he had deemed unworthy to exist amongst the godlypurebloods. 简言之：这是完全没有道理的。 伏地魔本身就是一个混血巫师，他的母亲是个麻瓜。然而，他在这里，试图消灭他认为不值得存在于神圣的纯血统中的三个不同的群体。 This really is Voldemort throughandthrough; making rash decisions in the blink of an eye. He simplydecided oneday that he hated Muggles, half-bloods, and Muggle borns. 这确实是伏地魔的本事，一眨眼的功夫就做出草率的决定。有一天，他简直认错了，他恨麻瓜、混血儿和麻瓜出身。 But wait, we know what you are thinking.Ifthat’s really what he wanted to do, shouldn’t one of his first targetshavebeen himself? 但是等等我们知道你在想什么。如果这真的是他想做的，难道他的第一个目标不应该是他自己吗？ Voldemort was a half-blood, after all. Ifhehad only focused on his own existence as a mark against “bloodpurity” from theget-go then we would not have endured the agony ofwatching him nearly destroythe magic and non-magic worlds on numerousoccasions. 毕竟，伏地魔是混血儿。如果他从一开始就只专注于他自己的存在作为反对“血腥”的标志，那么我们就不会在无数次的事件中忍受观看他的痛苦，几乎摧毁了魔法和非魔法世界。 Then again, we would not have had theHarryPotter series, and we could not have lived without the books andfilms! 然而，我们就不会有哈利波特系列，而且我们也不可能没有书和文件就生活在一起！ 3. THE WAY HE HOLDS HIS WAND 3.他握住魔杖的方式
Voldemort was supposed to have been oneofthe greatest wizards of all time. He was so terrifying and great thatpeoplerefused to utter his name. 伏地魔本应该是史上最伟大的巫师之一。他是如此的恐怖和伟大以至于人们都害怕直呼他的名字。 For such a great wizard, it certainlyisstrange that he did not know really how to hold a wand! 对于这样一个伟大的巫师来说，他真的不知道如何握住魔杖是很奇怪的！ As this meme so skillfullyexemplifies,Voldemort had some trouble holding his wand. This scene was fromHarryPotter and the Deathly Hallows – Part 2, but Voldemort has held hiswandawkwardly before. 由于这个原因如此巧妙的例子，伏地魔握住魔杖有些困难。这一幕是从哈利波特和死亡圣器-第2部分，但伏地魔以前持有他的魔杖是很棘手的。 Don’t you remember in Harry Potterand theGoblet of Fire when Harry and Voldemort have a face-off andVoldemort throws atAvada Kedavra with his hand so awkwardly placed?It almost looks as though hehas an aversion to holding a wand altogether, givenhow strange his positioningis! 难道你不记得哈利波特系列的《火焰杯》吗？当哈利和伏地魔面对面时，伏地魔用他笨拙的手把阿瓦达索命掷向哈利的时候。看起来他似乎厌恶持有魔杖，这让他的位置多么奇怪！ Maybe that’s just Voldemort for you:astrange and awkward man who was never able to fit in, even amongstfellowwizards and witches. 也许这只不过是你的伏地魔：即使是在巫师和女巫之间，也永远无法适应的迷惘和笨拙的男人 Or perhaps in this scene Voldemort isjustfinally figuring out that his wand wasn’t made by Olivander at all, and wasnoteven the famous Elder Wand. What if he really is just figuring out thatthewand was made in China, and the whole magical world is just a sham! 或者，在这一幕中，伏地魔终于明白了他的魔杖根本不是奥利凡德制造的，而是著名的老魔杖。如果他真的在想，魔杖是在中国制造的，那么整个魔法世界就是一个骗局！ 翻译人：Secret Superstar 4. why hes so fashtionable? 4. 为什么他这么时髦？
Voldemort was an ugly man, in spite ofthefact that a young Tom Riddle was actually quite good looking. 他是一个丑陋的人，虽然汤姆里德实际上很好看。 As has been discussed at length inthisarticle, his nose and hair had clearly over time disappeared as a resultofyears and year of fiddling around with extremely dark magic! Or, as oneentryhere reads, perhaps it was just that his nose was hiding due to the factthatit was a secret Horcrux. 就像本文中详细讨论过的，他的头发和鼻子随着时间的推移一点点消失因为他年复一年的使用非常黑暗的魔法。或者，就像某些人说的，他的鼻子是一个秘密的魂器所以被藏起来了。 Whatever his reasons for beingsostrange-looking, Voldemort remained a surprisingly well-dressed humanbeinguntil the end of his days, 不管是什么原因使他的外貌变得如此奇怪，他始终保持了一个人类的得体衣着直到他挂了。 In this image, for example, why in theheckwas he wearing such a gorgeous suit? Are we really supposed tobelievethat his lackeys were one day was tasked with going to the storewithVoldemort’s measurements and coming back with an impeccably tailored suitfortheir master? 比如说在上面的图片里，为什么他穿着一件这么高档的西装？我们真的应该相信有一天他的男仆会被派去给他们的首领去商店拿着伏地魔的尺寸买回一件无可挑剔的量身定做西装吗？ However it was that Voldemort obtainedhisbeautiful clothes, it is clear that he still somewhat cared abouthisappearance. Although it does not really make sense, given the fact thathereally clearly did not care about his face and hair anymore, justpicturingVoldemort or his lackeys going shopping is too hilarious. 然而事实上他有一件好看的西装，这也正表明了他还是care自己的外表的。虽然这没有意义，鉴于他不再在意他的头发和脸，就想象他和男仆一起出去的场景有多荒唐吧。 D2 K.Jeff 5. WHY HE DIDN’T TAKE PINOCCHIO’S ADVICE 5.他为什么不接受匹诺曹的建议？
Everyone knows the story of Pinocchio. Thedude had a lying problem, and every time he lied he would be caught out becausehis nose would grow a little longer. 匹诺曹的故事是家喻户晓的。这伙计有个撒谎的毛病，而每当他说谎话的时候，都会被轻而易举地识破——因为他的鼻子会变长一点点。 Any Muggle would know this story, and–although Voldemort was obviously not a muggle – he did grow up in aMuggleorphanage and was surrounded by non-magical people for his entirechildhood. 任何麻瓜都会知道他的故事——当然，伏地魔绝不是一个麻瓜——但他的确是在麻瓜世界中成长的，并且整个童年都被对魔法一窍不通的人包围着。 Considering his likely knowledge ofthestory of Pinocchio and this simple way of growing a nose, why did Voldemordnever think to pull a Pinocchio and just lie his way into getting his noseback? 考虑到伏地魔知道匹诺曹的故事以及这个长鼻子的便捷方法，为什么伏地魔从来没有想过要成为一个匹诺曹的翻版，或是为了得到鼻子而撒谎呢? Could it have been that Voldemort genuinelywanted the nose that he had? The mind maggles at the thought of any one likingsuch a non-existent, flat, slits-for-nostrils nose. Voldemort wanted tobehailed as a lord and all-powerful ruler, not as a ridiculous wizard whocannot master up enough magic to have a normal nose! 伏地魔真的甘心于拥有他的这样鼻子吗?任何一个喜欢这样一个几乎不存在的、又扁又平的、鼻孔朝天的鼻子，估计都是思想扭曲到常人无法理解的。伏地魔想要成为一个魔王和万能的统治者，而不是像一个荒唐滑稽的巫师——没有召集足够的魔法来使自己拥有一个正常的鼻子! Alas, apparently it is not so easy to lieyour way into having a nose in the wizarding world, or maybe Voldemort simplylike his nose the way it was. Anyhow, we cannot help wondering why he wouldnothave just taken a page from Pinocchio’s book. 噫！很显然，要想在巫师世界里找到一个鼻子是不容易的——也许就像找到一个伏地魔一样。不过无论如何，我们不禁要问：他为什么不吸取匹诺曹的前车之鉴呢？ 译者：Leechy_9¾ 6.又是伏地魔的鼻子 6.HIS NOSE…AGAIN
There’s no doubt about it: Voldemort was agreat wizard. As Ollivander the wand maker said in Harry Potter andthePhilosopher’s Stone, “After all, He Who Must Not Be Named did greatthings –terrible, yes, but great.” 毋庸置疑的：伏地魔是个强大的巫师。就像魔杖工匠奥利凡德在《哈利波特与魔法石》中所说的：“不管怎么说，我不能提名的那个神秘人就做了大事——尽管可怕，但还是大事。” But for such a great wizard, he reallydidnot have the whole physical appearance part figured out. Given his talentandknowledge of magic, and particularly the dark arts, you think he couldhavefigured out a way to fix that darned nose of his. 但是对于这样一个成了大事的巫师，他确实没有弄明白魔法里关于外表的部分。他具有超高的才能和广博的对魔法的了解——特别是黑魔法，你认为他可以找到个方法修复他该死的鼻子。 But, no, here is Voldemort, creatingsevenHorcruxes with parts of his soul stuck into each one of them, and hecan’tfigure out how to recreate his nose! 但是不是这样的，这是伏地魔，创造了七个魂器并把七片灵魂放到每一个里面，他不能找到怎么修复他鼻子的方法！ Could the explanation have beenthatVoldemort actually, dare we say it, liked his nose? It seems unlikely,butmaybe it he felt it gave him character and set him apart from other wizards. 可能是这样的理由吗，就像我们大胆说的，他的鼻子？不幸的是，仿佛是这样的。不过也许这个角色的设定就是为了让他和其他巫师分清界限。 Maybe the nose, especially in the films–where Voldemort’s lack of nose was far more distinct than the books – wasthedirectors’ way of ensuring that nobody would ever be able to considerVoldemortgood looking, given the natural beauty of the actor they had chosen toportraythe character! 也许那鼻子，特别是电影里的——伏地魔缺失的鼻子比书里明显的多——用导演的方式保证没有人能够考虑伏地魔的绝世美颜，考虑到V大演员天生的绝世美颜，他们决定要“打扮”一下这个角色！ 译者：Lunar 7. THE VOLDEMORT – DUMBLEDO RERELATIONSHIP 7.伏地魔与邓不利多的关系
Picture this: two of the greatest wizardsofall time sitting down in conversation. Could there be anything more iconicthan this meeting of minds? 想象一下这样的画面：两位在巫师史上最厉害的巫师坐在一起交谈。还有比这更具有代表性的见面吗？ Why was this concept never exploredmore?Imagine the stimulating conversation we could have heard and thingswecould have learned from the minds of the wisest and best wizard of alltime(Dumbledore) and the darkest and worst wizard of all time (Voldemort). 为什么这样类似的情境从没在书中出现？想象一下，一边是20世纪最棒、最好的巫师（邓不利多），一边是最坏、内心充满黑暗的巫师（伏地魔）。 Not to mention, the revelation inlateryears from J.K. Rowling that Dumbledore was gay could have opened a wholeotheravenue of stories and possibilities. We never really saw any romance stemfromVoldemort’s side, either. 等等，罗姨曾经透露过邓不利多是个同性恋。那这有更多的故事讲了。我们也从来没有见过伏地魔浪漫的一面（要知道是贝拉特里克斯给他生了个女儿，他们俩之间的故事书中从未说过……） Imagine a world where, at onepoint,Dumbledore and Voldemort had a relationship? The fan fiction may be goinga bitfar here, but it’s really not that insane. Dumbledore and Grindelwaldwereentangled romantically somehow, according to Rowling. Who’s to saythatDumbledore and Voldemort couldn’t be, too? 脑洞再开大一点，邓不利多和伏地魔也许有些不为人知的关系？也许科幻粉们听到这个会感到有点不可思议，但是既然邓不利多和格林德沃之间有一点浪漫的关系，伏地魔和邓不李多为什么不可以呢？ Regardless of the way inwhich theirrelationship could be explored, we only wish we knew moreabout it! 不过，不管他们俩之间的关系是什么……我们只想罗姨出一本前传，给我们呈现更多的细节！让我们更加了解他们俩的关系！ These are two of the greatest wizards ofalltime, and although we catch a glimpse of their interactions throughouttheseries, we do not really ever get quite enough. 伏地魔和邓不利多都是两位十分伟大的巫师，尽管在书中他们有同框，但是我们并没有看见两个人更多的互动。 译者：Monica老莫 8. WHY VOLDEMORT ALWAYS LET HARRY FINISH THE SCHOOL YEAR BEFORE HE ATTACKED 8. 为什么伏地魔总是在学年结束后才攻击哈利
It is likely that we have already summed up the main reason why there are so many things about Voldemort that make no sense– in all likelihood, it is because he really was not the brightest of his kind. 我们很可能已经总结出了伏地魔总是那么难以理解的原因 — 很可能是因为他真的不是那么机智。 But sometimes, believe it or not, he was actually quite considerate. 但有的时候，不管你信不信，他其实很体贴。 In terms of his plan to take out Harry, it turns out Voldemort was always considerate enough to wait until the end of the school year before proceeding with his world domination. 根据他灭掉哈利的方案来看，伏地魔总是体贴的等到学年结束才开始试图统一世界。 Was it because he genuinely cared about Harry’s education? Or was it his way of challenging himself, seeing what Harry learned that year, and waiting till Harry would be a more fierce opponent. 是因为他真诚的关心哈利的教育？还是因为他挑战自己的方式就是看哈利这一年学了什么，并等哈利变成一个更凶猛的对手。 It turns out that no matter what year Harry was in, Voldemort still failed to annihilate him anyway! 看起来不管在哪一年，伏地魔总是没能成功的消灭哈利！ In reality, it is clear that the reason why Voldemort would “wait” until the end of the year is because it would make for afar better story. Every year, the students would learn some new form of magic,and then at the end of the year, the students could then use the magic they had learned against Voldemort! It makes sense, really, doesn’t it? 在现实中，伏地魔总是“等”哈利学年结束的原因很简单，因为这样会是一个更好的故事。每年，学生们都会学会一些新魔法，然后在年末的时候，他们可以在对抗伏地魔的时候用到这些新魔法！这其实很有道理，不是吗？ 译者：Isabella 9. WHY HE NEVER ACTUALLY USED THISLINE 9. 为什么他从来没有真正使用过这种方法
Not everyone can boast about the factthatan entire civilization is so terrified and awed by your powers andterrifyingmagnificence that they are afraid to say your name, but that was thecase withVoldemort. 不是每个人都能夸口说，整个文明都被你的力量和令人敬畏的壮丽景色所吓倒，以至于他们不敢说出你的名字，但伏地魔却成功地做到了。 Until his inevitable downfall, mostwizardsand witches were so afraid of the concept of this evil wizard that theywouldnot dare to utter his name, instead using nicknames like “You Know Who”and “HeWho Must Not Be Named,” or, in the case of his followers, “The DarkLord.” 在他不可避免的垮台之前，大多数巫师和女巫都非常害怕这个邪恶巫师的概念，所以他们不敢说出他的名字，而是使用了类似于“你知道是谁的”和“那个不能提名字的人”，或者，对于他的追随者来说，是“黑魔王”。 Imagine being so terrifying and famousthatpeople are too in awe and afraid to say your name! To top things off, itisnot even your real name, but rather the fancy name that you made up tomakeyourself seem even greater! 想象一下，人们是如此的恐怖和出名，以至于他们都害怕和害怕说出你的名字！更糟糕的是，这甚至不是你的真名，而是你为了使自己显得更伟大而编造的一个花哨的名字！ Voldemort had ample opportunities tousethese nicknames in his favor, as can be seen from this meme. Perhaps themosticonic of the options would have been this verbal exchange, whereVoldemorttold a knock-knock joke to his foe. 伏地魔有足够的机会使用这些昵称来帮助他，从这个迷因可以看出这一点。也许最疯狂的选择是这种口头交流，伏地魔对他的敌人开了个敲门的玩笑。 This line could have been iconic –yetVoldemort never even thought to jump on the chance to use it! We willneverunderstand this complex human being. 这个方式本来可以是象徵性的，然而，伏地魔甚至从未想过要抓住这个机会去使用它！我们永远无法理解这个复杂的人。 译者：三文鱼切鲙 10. 为什么他没有用世界上最不可摧毁的手机当一个魂器
伏地魔到底为什么没有用令人瞩目的诺基亚3310来当做他的魂器之一？ 我们知道你在想什么：这完全不符合逻辑。 为什么世界上（所谓的）最强大的巫师没有利用人类有史以来创造的最坚不可摧的科技设备的优点？ 我们上面已经看到了！伏地魔明显不是最聪明的巫师。他在他事业前期就开始被几个11岁的学生打败了，在那之前还被一个小婴儿削弱到了几乎不存在。 尽管这样，去用一个诺基亚3310看起来如此明显以至于我们十分困惑为什么没有那么聪明的伏地魔没有想到这个选择。总而言之，这是世界史上上最不可毁灭的手机。 我们懂得，技术在魔法世界里没有办法像在麻瓜世界里那样工作—但是，用一个更加麻瓜向的东西当魂器不是更加符合逻辑吗？从来没有人会发现它！ 当然，伏地魔因为他对符号和仪式的喜爱与迷恋而错失了这个黄金机会，但是事实证明了这是一个致命的错误。 11. HOW HERMIONE WAS BETTER AT MAGIC THANHIM 11. 赫敏怎么会比他更擅长魔法？
There’s no question that Hermione waswaybeyond her time. She was one of the best witches in magical history and shebegancreating this legacy at the young age of 11 years old! 毫无疑问，赫敏的天赋远超自己的同龄人。她可以说是魔法历史上最好的女巫之一，而且她仅仅11岁的时候就达成了这个成就。 At just 11, she participated, alongwithHarry and Ron, in navigating an incredibly difficult magical obstaclecoursethat was created to fend off the likes of Voldemort and other great,evil, yettalented wizards and witches. 在11岁的时候，她和哈利还有罗恩一起参加了一个极其困难的魔法障碍课程，课程的宗旨是为了阻止伏地魔和其他伟大的、邪恶的、但又富有天赋的巫师。 In spite of the exceptional skillsofthe great Hermione, there remains this one issue that has us scratchingourheads for answers. 尽管赫敏有着超凡的魔法天赋，但仍有一个问题让人百思不得其解： How could Hermione have been better atmagicthan Voldemort? We know, we know: “Love, Harry.” But still,Voldemort hadyears of experience and Hermione was born to a muggle family anddid not evenknow she was a witch until she received her letter. 赫敏怎么会比伏地魔更擅长使用魔法呢？我们知道伏地魔对"爱"一无所知，但是他仍然是个有多年经验的大黑魔法师，而赫敏出生在一个麻瓜家庭，而且直到她收到霍格沃茨的来信她才知道自己是个巫师。 Whatever the reason behind the talentofHermione, we still think there may be some problems with the narrative toldinthe magical world about the so-called power and wow factor of Voldemort. 不管赫敏的天赋异禀背后的原因是什么，我们仍旧认为罗琳在这个魔法世界的描述中关于所谓的能力和伏地魔的特别因素方面，可能出了一点小问题。 If a bunch of 11 year olds are betteratmagic than a person who has been practicing pretty much their entirelife,there’s a problem here somewhere. 如果说一群11岁的小孩比一个几乎已经练习了一辈子魔法的人更擅长魔法的话，那么这就有问题了。 译者：Dumbledore 12. HOW HE NEVER SUCCEEDEDIN ELIMINATING HARRYPOTTER 12.他是如何永远不去消灭哈利波特的
Do you remember in Harry Potter and thePhilosopher’s Stone, when Harry is just eleven years old, and Voldemortfinallycorners Harry in a deep dark chamber way below Hogwarts – and he still does notsucceed in eliminating him? 你还记得在“哈利波特与魔法石”一书中，当哈利只有11岁的时候，伏地魔终于将哈利置于霍格沃茨之下的一个深黑的密室里-他仍然没有成功地消灭他吗？ Or what about in Harry Potter and theChamber of Secrets, when Voldemort (this time in Tom Riddle form) once againcorners Harry in a deep dark chamber way below Hogwarts – and yet again failsto take out the twelve year old? 或者，在“哈利波特与密室”中，当伏地魔(这一次是汤姆·里德尔式的)再次在霍格沃茨下面的黑暗深处的密室里把哈利逼到角落里，而又一次没能干掉这个12岁的孩子。 In Harry Potter and the Goblet of fire,Voldemort literally teams up on Harry with a substantial group of death Eatersbacking him, and the Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix he gets Harry tocome to Ministry of Magic where Harry is once again outnumbered by Voldemortand his Death Eaters. 在“哈利波特与火焰杯”一书中，伏地魔与大量食死徒联手对付哈利，哈利来到魔法部，在那里，哈利再次被伏地魔和食死徒打败，但依然没死。 The number of times that Harry escaped thenear clutches of Voldemort’s grasp is truly ridiculous. 哈利逃过伏地魔控制的次数真是荒唐可笑 For the allegedly most powerful wizard Inthe world, he really is not all he’s made out to be. As fans of the series, wehave been able to objectively see Voldemort for who he is from the beginning–clearly entirely incapable of ending a tween! 对于这个世界上最强大的巫师来说，他真的不是他所想象的那样。作为该系列的粉丝，我们能够客观地看到伏地魔从一开始就是谁-显然完全无法结束一段时间！ 13. WHY WAS VOLDEMORT WRITING IN AJOURNAL? Is this not Tom Riddle we are talkingabout,only the man who would eventually become one of the greatest and darkestwizardsin all the world? Long before he’s Voldemort, he’s merelyanangsty teen, exhibiting the same symptoms of every other angsty teenageroutthere, writing his prose in, as Harry so quotes from Bridesmaids, “averysad, handwritten book.” Although we’re never quite sure ifVoldemort (or more likely Tom Riddle) ever actually used the diary towrite anystories about his actual self, it’s enough just that he chose alame old diaryin the first place as his first Horcrux. We know from what we’ve read and seenthatRiddle was a moody, angsty teenager, filled with troubles, jealousies,andanxieties. Why in the heck did he use a lame olddiaryas his first Horcrux?! There wasn’t even anything all that symbolic aboutit,except for perhaps representing the ultimate moodiness of one of the darkesthorsesin magical history. Sure, although the diary wound up beingavery important part of the overall Harry Potter story, as wellas the solefocus of the second book and film, Harry Potter and theChamber of Secrets, we’restill just scratching our heads on why Voldemortever would have had a diary.
13.为什么伏地魔要写日记？ 这不是我们在谈论的汤姆·里德尔吗，只有那个最终会成为世界上最伟大、最黑暗的巫师之一的人吗？ 在他成为伏地魔的很久以前，他只不过是个脾气暴躁的青少年，表现出与其他所有焦虑的青少年一样的症状，写他的散文，想哈利引用“伴娘”的话，“一本非常伤感的，手写书。” 虽然我们不太确定伏地魔(或者更有可能是汤姆·里德尔)是否真的用过日记来记录任何关于他真实自我的故事，但只要他一开始就选择圣洁的旧日记作为他的第一个魂器就足够了。 从我们所读到的，我们知道里德尔是一个喜怒无常、焦躁不安的少年，充满了烦恼、嫉妒和焦虑。为什么他要用一个蹩脚的旧日记作为他的第一个魂器？！它甚至没有任何象征意义，除了可能代表了魔法史上最黑暗的一匹马的终极情绪。 当然，虽然日记最终成为整个哈利波特故事的一个非常重要的部分，同时也是第二本书和电影“哈利波特与密室”的唯一焦点，但我们仍然在绞尽脑汁地思考为什么沃尔德默特会有一本日记。 朱.zyf. 14. VOLDEMORT WITH A WIG ISJUSTHANNAH MONTANA
Okay, so we get that Miley Cyrus wrotetheoriginal song, “Party in the USA” – classic Miley at her best. 好吧，所以我们得到麦莉赛勒斯写的理论歌曲，“党在美国”–经典麦莉在她最好的时候。 But what about this remake by Voldemort?Hisform is on point! Look at those well-positioned arms! Look at how big hismouthgets when he sings “yeah!” 但是伏地魔的这部重拍作品怎么样？他的表现很突出！看看那些位置好的手臂！看看当他唱“耶！”的时候，他的嘴巴有多大。 There is clearly no questionthatVoldemort’s version of this song is about one hundred times better thanMiley’soriginal version. 毫无疑问，伏地魔对这首歌的版本比麦莉的丑行版本要好一百倍。 Sadly, again, Voldemort does not receivetheattention and credit he deserves. Sure, he’s evil, but he’s also aridiculouslycomedic villain, and fans around the world should be crediting himfor hisextreme comic relief and his potential for many more jokes. 可悲的是，伏地魔并没有得到应有的重视和信任。当然，他是邪恶的，但他也是一个枯燥的喜剧恶棍，全世界的影迷都应该称赞他的极端滑稽表现和他可能会有更多的笑话。 Anyway, ask yourself this: which musicvideowould you rather watch? The one where Miley dances on cars in some too-hotsouthern state, or one where Voldemort goes way too hard, dancing androckingout to his version of the song. We’re sure he would take it way toofar, and theresult would clearly be very hilarious! 不管怎么说，问问自己：你更想看哪种音乐节目？麦莉在南方某个太热的州跳舞，或者伏地魔做得太过分了，在他的歌曲版本中跳舞和脱口而出。我们确信他将采取的方式太，和结果将显然是非常欢闹！ There’s really no question thattheVoldemort version is so much better! We only wish that he would do morecoversof iconic top 40 songs. 毫无疑问，伏地魔的版本要好得多！我们只希望他能多做40首经典歌曲的封面。 15、WHY HE WASN’T CREDITED FOR THIS 15. 为什么他没有因此获得赞赏？
In Harry Potter and the Goblet ofFire,we are introduced to the one and only Cedric Diggory, portrayed inthe films byRobert Pattinson. This film was released in 2005, and it was thefirst glimpsewe had of the actor who would soon make waves in Hollywood forhis appearance inthe Twilight Saga series. 在“哈利波特与火焰杯”中，我们见到了由罗伯特·帕丁森饰演的，独一无二的塞德里克·迪戈里。这部电影于2005年上映，这是我们第一次认识这位即将在好莱坞因出演“暮光之城”系列电影而风靡一时的演员。 Indeed, three years later, in 2008,thefirst film installment of the Twilight Saga was ireleased andwewere officially re-introduced to the actor. 事实上，三年后，也就是2008年，“暮光之城”的第一部电影上映，我们重新认识了这位演员。 With the introductionof Twilight andRobert Pattinson and Edward Cullen came muchcontroversy. In particular, peoplearound the world decided to jump onthe Twilight bandwagon,and fans and haters decided they either lovedthe series or hated the series. 随着“暮光之城”中罗伯特·帕丁森和爱德华·卡伦（角色的名字）为人们所了解，许多争议接踵而至。尤其是，当全世界的人们都决定加入“暮光之城”的潮流，喜欢哈利波特的粉丝和不喜欢哈利波特的人们需要决定，要么喜欢这个系列，要么讨厌这个系列。 There was a particular set of peoplewhoreally despised Edward Cullen, the protagonist vampire portrayed by RobertPattinson– this was the group of fans who were “Team Jacob.” For thatsubsetof Twilight fans, Edward Cullen was pointless, andtheyhated him with all their might. 尤其有一些人特别鄙视爱德华·卡伦这个由罗伯特帕丁森扮演的吸血鬼——可以说这是一帮Jacob（"暮光之城"中爱德华的情敌）的粉丝。对于那些暮光之城的粉丝们来说，爱德华·卡伦毫无意义，他们竭尽全力地恨他。 Here is the problem: Voldemort hatedRobertPattinson first! Yet no one gives this original hipster (Voldemort) thecredithe deserves! 问题是：最先记恨罗伯特·帕丁森的是伏地魔！然而，没有人给这个最开始的记恨者(伏地魔)他应得的赞誉！ Hipster Voldemort is a prettyhilariousmeme, and it just doesn’t make sense that Voldemort doesn’t getthe credithe’s due here. 讨厌罗伯特·帕丁森的潮流发起者是伏地魔这个事非常好笑，而且伏地魔没有得到他应得的赞许也是说不通的。 译者：Dumbledore 16.THE DARK LADY 16. 黑暗夫人
Surely you remember Yzma, thebrilliant,evil antagonist from the Disney classic The Emperor’s NewGroove! Shewas bald, had a completely evil plot to take over the world,had no friends orvery disloyal friends, and spoke with a sort of villainoustone. 你一定还记得，Yzma，这位来自迪士尼经典电影《变身国王》的杰出反派反派!她是个秃子，有一个完全邪恶的阴谋要占领这个世界，没有朋友，说话带着一种邪恶的腔调。 Then you see this meme, and everythingisturned upside down in what you thought you knew. How did nobody ever makethis link before. As the meme points out – Look at Yzma’s mug! It even hasthedark mark. 然后你看到这个，所有的东西都被你认为你知道的东西颠倒了。以前没人做过这个环节。正如它所指出的——看一看Yzma的杯子!它甚至还有暗号。 That’s right! Yzma must be Voldemort’ssister. After all, Voldemort is also the brilliant evil antagonist ofHarryPotter, is bald, has a completely evil plot to take of the world, hasnofriends or very disloyal friends, and also speaks with a sort ofvillainoustone. 这是正确的!Yzma一定是伏地魔的姐姐。毕竟，伏地魔也是哈利波特的邪恶对手，秃头，有一个完全邪恶的阴谋，他的朋友，也会用一种邪恶的方式说话。 Now that we have seen the similarities,itsimply cannot be un-known 既然我们已经看到了相似之处，就不可能不知道了。 All we need now is a story about Yzmaand Voldemort:their childhood together, their teamwork and combined plans totake over theworld! 我们现在需要的是一个关于Yzmaand伏地魔的故事:他们的童年，他们的团队合作，以及共同的计划来征服世界! This sibling relationship is the stuffweneed, and we can’t wait for fan fiction writers everywhere to get startedonthe clearly much needed adventures featuring two of the mosticonicsupervillains in history! 这种兄弟姐妹的关系，我们迫不及待地想要在各地的粉丝小说作家们开始一段非常需要的冒险故事，这是历史上最具代表性的两大反派人物。 译者：归来易安 17. WHY THIS SEARCH OPTION APPEARS INGOOGLE 17. 为什么谷歌会出现这样的搜索
You know when you are bored and you entertainyourself by typing things in to the Google search bar and seeing what ap topopulates in the search options? 你知道当你感到无聊的时候，会输入一些东西到谷歌搜索栏，看看搜索选项中会出现什么？ Have you ever tried typing in “I hate it when”and seeing what pops up? Bet you did not expect “I hate it when Voldemort usesmy shampoo” to pop up. 你有没有试过输入“我讨厌它”，看看会出现什么？我打赌你一定没料到会突然出现“当伏地魔用我的洗发露时我就讨厌它”。 As this meme so clearly demonstrates, we arecompletely befuddled by this search option. Is this a joke? Is it because Voldemortdoes not have hair – unless that really the whole joke. Under what circumstanceswould a person ever type this into Google, and why? The internet remains themost hilarious and baffling thing in the world. 正因这个迷因如此清楚地呈现在眼前，所以我们完全被这个搜索选项搞糊涂了。这是个笑话吗？因为伏地魔根本没有头发–除非那真的是个笑话。那么为什么人们会在谷歌中输入这个呢？互联网绝对是这个世界上最搞笑和最令人困惑的东西了。 Upon doing some research into this strange internetworld and its odd google search result, we found that this idea of Voldemortusing one’s shampoo has truly stemmed from nothing, and is merely a strangeinternet phenomenon that emerged one day out of nowhere. 在对这个陌生的互联网世界及其奇怪的谷歌搜索结果做了一些研究后，我们发现这个伏地魔使用自己的洗发露的想法的确是无中生有，只是一个突然出现的奇怪的网络现象。 Clearly, though, Voldemort himself is just aspuzzled as the rest of us are, though, given his face in this image. He, of allpeople, surely knows he has not got any hair for shampoo to have any effect whatso ever! 显然，伏地魔自己也和我们一样困惑，尽管他的脸就在这张照片上。他当然知道自己不论什么情况都没有头发用洗发露！译者：Karen 18. WHY HE NEVER THOUGHT TO MAKE HISNOSE AHORCRUX 18.为什么他从来没有想要把自己的鼻子变成魂器
Voldemort was so obvious in what he chosetomake a Horcrux. Like, his diary – really, Tom? Anyone could have guessedthat –and Salazar Slytherin’s Locket? It’s hardly rocket science topuzzle that oneout. The same goes for Marvolo Gaunt’s ring. By that point, itwas pretty safeto guess that Helga Hufflepuff’s Cup and Rowena Raveclaw’sDiadem might havesome significance as well. 伏地魔选择了什么来制造魂器，这是很明显的。比如，他的日记–真的吗，汤姆？谁能猜到–和萨拉扎·斯莱特林的小金盒？这很难用火箭科学把它搞定。马沃罗·冈特的戒指也是如此。到那时，我们可以很有把握地猜测，赫尔加·赫奇帕夫杯和罗维纳·拉维克拉夫的《迪亚德》可能也有一些意义。 Let’s not forget his choice of his snake!Asthough anyone who saw the snake wouldn’t immediately try and end it purelyoutof fear and hatred for such a giant, loathsome creature. 不要忘了他选择了他的蛇！好像任何看见蛇的人都不会立刻尝试去结束它纯粹出于对如此巨大、令人厌恶的生物的恐惧和仇恨。 Meanwhile, Voldemort forgot to use theoneobject that was so impossible to find, Harry Potter nor his cronies wouldeverhave been able to destroy it – his nose! Or, er, lack thereof. 与此同时，伏地魔忘了使用那个永远不可能被发现的物体，哈利波特和他的伙伴们永远也无法摧毁–他的鼻子！或者，呃，缺少。 That’s right – why did Voldemort nevertothink to use the one thing that absolutely nobody could ever havepossiblyfound, given its lack of existence? 对，是这样–为什么伏地魔从没有使用过的东西，绝对没有人能够发现它的存在？ If Voldemort had made his nose aHorcrux,Harry and friends would never have attempted to take him out, astheywould have known they were still missing the destruction of one lastHorcrux.Given that it’s impossible to find or see Voldemort’s nose, they neverwouldhave been able to destroy the final Horcrux! It’s an infallible plan!如果伏地魔把自己的鼻子弄成魂器，哈利和他的朋友们就不会想要把他拿出来了，因为他们早就知道他们还没有摧毁最后一个魂器。考虑到要找到伏地魔的鼻子是不可能的，因此他们永远也不可能摧毁最后的魂器。这是一个万无一失的计划！ 译者：Karen🍀 19. WHEN VOLDEMORT HUGS MALFOY 19.伏地魔拥抱马尔福
Fans and haters alike emitted a unanimousshudder during the Battle of Hogwarts in Harry Potter and the DeathlyHallows –Part 2 when Voldemort and Draco Malfoy shared one of thestrangest, most awkwardhugs in film history. 在霍格沃茨战役中，影迷发出了一致的战栗。哈利波特与死亡圣器-第二部分伏地魔和德拉科马尔福是电影史上最奇怪、最尴尬的拥抱之一。 Surely you must remember this momentous(andhugely hysterical) event. The internet created an entirely new genreof HarryPotter fan fiction, and memes, which were still intheir infancy at the time(2011), erupted with jokes and questions pertainingto the infamous hug. 当然，你必须记住这一重大事件(而且非常歇斯底里)。互联网创造了一个全新的类型哈利波特小说，在2011年还处于萌芽期。在这个臭名昭著的拥抱中，伴随着笑话和问题的爆发。 According to Tom Felton, the actorwhoportrayed Draco Malfoy, the part where Voldemort hugs Draco when he comesoverto the “dark side” was entirely unscripted. 根据扮演德拉科·马尔福的演员汤姆·费尔顿的说法，德拉科来到“黑暗面”时伏地魔拥抱德拉科的部分完全没有剧本。 During filming, there was a total of25takes until the directors and cinematographers finally felt like there wassomethingworth doing. Felton was as taken aback as anyone when Ralph Fiennes(Voldemort)hugged him. Never did anyone expect the filmmakers to use thisversion of thescene! 在拍摄过程中，一共有25次拍摄，一直到导演和摄影师们最终觉得有什么值得做的事情。菲尔顿和其他人一样惊讶，拉尔夫·菲恩斯(伏地魔)拥抱了来到“黑暗面”的德拉科。从来没有人期望电影制片人使用这个版本！ And yet, here we are, with one of themosticonic and infamous hugs in film history – in a legendary Harry Pottermovieof all things! 然而，我们现在这里，在电影历史上，我们有着一次尴尬的拥抱-在一个传奇中。哈利波特的电影！ We can’t even blame Voldemort orJ.K.Rowling for the scene, either, given that it was completely out ofcharacterand not written into the books 我们甚至不能责怪伏地魔或J.K.罗琳的场景，因为它完全没有写进书中。 来源：预言家日报社 S1翻译部 编辑：社长静心 本公众号社长的微信
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