HowtoSayNothingin500Words
ByPaulMcHenryRoberts
Note:Thisessaywaswritteninthe1950s.Thebasicsofgoodwriting,however,haven’tchanged.
a-s.clayton.edu/.../How%20to%20Say%20Nothing%20in%20500%20Words.doc
It''sFridayafternoon,andyouhavealmostsurvivedanotherweekofclasses.YouarejustlookingforwarddreamilytotheweekendwhentheEnglishinstructorsays:“ForMondayyouwillturninafivehundred-wordcompositiononcollege?football.”
Well,thatputsagoodholeintheweekend.Youdon''thaveanystrongviewsoncollegefootballonewayortheother.Yougetratherexcitedduringtheseasonandgotoallthehomegamesandfinditrathermorefunthannot.Ontheotherhand,theclasshasbeenreadingRobertHutchinsintheanthologyandperhapsShaw''s“Eighty-YardRun,”andfromtheclassdiscussionyouhavegottheideathattheinstructorthinkscollegefootballisforthebirds.Youarenofool.Youcanfigureoutwhatsideto?take.
Afterdinneryougetouttheportabletypewriterthatyougotforhighschoolgraduation.YoumightaswellgetitoverwithandenjoySaturdayandSunday.Fivehundredwordsisabouttwodouble-spacedpageswithnormalmargins.Youputinasheetofpaper,thinkupatitle,andyou''re?off:
WHYCOLLEGEFOOTBALLSHOULDBEABOLISHED
Collegefootballshouldbeabolishedbecauseit''sbadfortheschoolandalsofortheplayers.Theplayersaresobusypracticingthattheydon''thaveanytimefortheirstudies.
This,youfeel,isamightygoodstart.Theonlytroubleisthatit''sonlythirty-twowords.Youstillhavefourhundredandsixty-eighttogo,andyou''veprettywellexhaustedthesubject.Itcomestoyouthatyoudoyourbestthinkinginthemorning,soyouputawaythetypewriterandgotothemovies.Butthenextmorningyouhavetodoyourwashingandsomemathproblems,andintheafternoonyougotothegame.TheEnglishinstructorturnsuptoo,andyouwonderifyou''vetakentherightsideafterall.Saturdaynightyouhaveadate,andSundaymorningyouhavetogotochurch.(Youcan''tletEnglishassignmentsinterferewithyourreligion.)Whatwithonethingandanother,it''steno''clockSundaynightbeforeyougetoutthetypewriteragain.Youmakeapotofcoffeeandstarttofilloutyourviewsoncollegefootball.Putalittlemeatonthe?bones.
WHYCOLLEGEFOOTBALLSHOULDBEABOLISHED
Inmyopinion,itseemstomethatcollegefootballshouldbeabolished.ThereasonwhyIthinkthistobetrueisbecauseIfeelthatfootballisbadforthecollegesinnearlyeveryrespect.AsRobertHutchinssaysinhisarticleinouranthologyinwhichhediscussescollegefootball,itwouldbebetterifthecollegeshadracehorsesandhadraceswithoneanother,becausethenthehorseswouldnothavetoattendclasses.IfirmlyagreewithMr.Hutchinsonthispoint,andIamsurethatmanyotherstudentswouldagreetoo.
Onereasonwhyitseemstomethatcollegefootballisbadisthatithasbecometoocommercial.Intheoldentimeswhenpeopleplayedfootballjustforthefunofit,maybecollegefootballwasallright,buttheydonotplaycollegefootballjustforthefunofitnowastheyusedtointheolddays.Nowadayscollegefootballiswhatyoumightcallabigbusiness.Maybethisisnottrueatallschools,andIdon''tthinkitisespeciallytruehereatState,butcertainlythisisthecaseatmostcollegesanduniversitiesinAmericanowadays,asMr.Hutchinspointsoutinhisveryinterestingarticle.Actuallythecoachesandalumnigoaroundtothehighschoolsandofferthehighschoolstarslargesalariestocometotheircollegesandplayfootballforthem.Therewasonecasewhereahighschoolstarwasofferedaconvertibleifhewouldplayfootballforacertain?college.
Anotherreasonforabolishingcollegefootballisthatitisbadfortheplayers.Theydonothavetimetogetacollegeeducation,becausetheyaresobusyplayingfootball.Afootballplayerhastopracticeeveryafternoonfromthreetosixandthenheissotiredthathecan''tconcentrateonhisstudies.Hejustfeelslikedroppingofftosleepafterdinner,andthenthenextdayhegoestohisclasseswithouthavingstudiedandmaybehefailsthe?test.
(Goodripestuffsofar,butyou''restillahundredandfifty-onewordsfromhome.Onemore?push.)
AlsoIthinkcollegefootballisbadforthecollegesandtheuniversitiesbecausenotverymanystudentsgettoparticipateinit.Outofacollegeoftenthousandstudentsonlyseventy-fiveorahundredplayfootball,ifthatmany.Footballiswhatyoumightcallaspectatorsport.Thatmeansthatmostpeoplegotowatchitbutdonotplayitthemselves.
(Fourhundredandfifteen.Well,youstillhavetheconclusion,andwhenyouretypeit,youcanmakethemarginsalittle?wider.)
ThesearethereasonswhyIagreewithMr.HutchinsthatcollegefootballshouldbeabolishedinAmericancollegesanduniversities.
OnMondayyouturnitin,moderatelyhopeful,andonFridayitcomesbackmarked“weakincontent”andsportingabig“D.”Thisessayisexaggeratedalittle,notmuch.TheEnglishinstructorwillrecognizeitasreasonablytypicalofwhatanassignmentoncollegefootballwillbringin.Heknowsthatnearlyhalfoftheclasswillcontriveinfivehundredwordstosaythatcollegefootballistoocommercialandbadfortheplayers.Mostoftheotherhalfwillinformhimthatcollegefootballbuildscharacterandpreparesoneforlifeandbringsprestigetotheschool.Ashereadspaperafterpaperallsayingthesamethinginalmostthesamewords,allbloodless,fivehundredwordsdrippingoutofnothing,hewondershowheallowedhimselftogettrappedintoteachingEnglishwhenhemighthavehadahappyandinterestinglifeasanelectricianoraconfidence?man.
Well,youmayask,whatcanyoudoaboutit?Thesubjectisoneonwhichyouhavefewconvictionsandlittleinformation.Canyoubeexpectedtomakeadullsubjectinteresting?Asamatteroffact,thisispreciselywhatyouareexpectedtodo.Thisisthewriter''sessentialtask.Allsubjects,exceptsex,aredulluntilsomebodymakestheminteresting.Thewriter''sjobistofindtheargument,theapproach,theangle,thewordingthatwilltakethereaderwithhim.Thisisseldomeasy,anditisparticularlyhardinsubjectsthathavebeenmuchdiscussed:CollegeFootball,Fraternities,PopularMusic,IsChivalryDead?,andthelike.Youwillfeelthatthereisnothingyoucandowithsuchsubjectsexceptrepeattheoldbromides.Buttherearesomethingsyoucandowhichwillmakeyourpapers,ifnotthrobbinglyalive,atleastlessinsufferablytediousthantheymightotherwise?be.
AVOIDTHEOBVIOUS?CONTENT
Saytheassignmentiscollegefootball.Saythatyou''vedecidedtobeagainstit.Beginbyputtingdowntheargumentsthatcometoyourmind:itistoocommercial,ittakesthestudents''mindsofftheirstudies,itishardontheplayers,itmakestheuniversityakindofcircusinsteadofanintellectualcenter,formostschoolsitisfinanciallyruinous.Canyouthinkofanymorearguments,justoffhand?Allright.Nowwhenyouwriteyourpaper,makesurethatyoudon''tuseanyofthematerialonthislist.Ifthesearethepointsthatleaptoyourmind,theywillleaptoeveryoneelse''stoo,andwhetheryougeta“C”ora“D”maydependonwhethertheinstructorreadsyourpaperearlywhenheisfreshandtolerantorlate,whenthesentence“Inmyopinion,collegefootballhasbecometoocommercial,”inexorablyrepeated,hasboughthimtothebrinkof?lunacy.
Beagainstcollegefootballforsomereasonorreasonsofyourown.Iftheyarekeenandperceptiveones,that''ssplendid.Buteveniftheyaretrivialorfoolishorindefensible,youarestillaheadsolongastheyarenoteverybodyelse''sreasonstoo.Beagainstitbecausethecollegesdon''tspendenoughmoneyonittomakeitworthwhile,becauseitisbadforthecharactersofthespectators,becausetheplayersareforcedtoattendclasses,becausethefootballstarshogallthebeautifulwomen,becauseitcompeteswithbaseballandisthereforeun-AmericanandpossiblyCommunist-inspired.Therearelotsofmoreorlessunusedreasonsforbeingagainstcollege?football.
Sometimesitisagoodideatosumupanddisposeofthetriteandconventionalpointsbeforegoingontoyourown.Thishastheadvantageofindicatingtothereaderthatyouaregoingtobeneithertritenorconventional.Somethinglike?this:
Weareoftentoldthatcollegefootballshouldbeabolishedbecauseithasbecometoocommercialorbecauseitisbadfortheplayers.Theseargumentsarenodoubtverycogent,buttheydon''treallygototheheartofthe?matter.
Thenyougototheheartofthe?matter.
TAKETHELESSUSUAL?SIDE
Onerathersimplewayofgettingintoyourpaperistotakethesideoftheargumentthatmostofthecitizenswillwanttoavoid.Iftheassignmentisanessayondogs,youcan,ifyouchoose,explainthatdogsarefaithfulandlovablecompanions,intelligent,usefulasguardiansofthehouseandprotectorsofchildren,indispensableinpolicework—inshort,whenallissaidanddone,man''sbestfriends.Oryoucansuggestthatthosebigbrowneyesconceal,moreoftenthannot,avacuityofmindandaninconstancyofpurpose;thatthedogsyouhaveknownmostintimatelyhavebeenmangy,ill-temperedbrutes,incapableofinstruction;andthatonlyyournobilityofmindandfearofarrestpreventyoufromkickingtheflea-riddenanimalswhenyoupassthemonthe?street.
Naturallypersonalconvictionswillsometimesdictateyourapproach.Iftheassignedsubjectis“IsMethodismRewardingtotheIndividual?”andyouareapiousMethodist,youhavereallynochoice.Butfewassignedsubjects,ifany,willfallinthiscategory.Mostofthemwilllieinbroadareasofdiscussionwithmuchtobesaidonbothsides.Theyareintellectualexercises,anditislegitimatetoarguenowonewayandnowanother,asdebatersdoinsimilarcircumstances.Alwaystakethethatlookstoyouhardest,leastdefensible.Itwillalmostalwaysturnouttobeeasiertowriteinterestinglyonthat?side.
Thisgeneraladviceapplieswhereyouhaveachoiceofsubjects.Ifyouaretochooseamong“TheValueofFraternities”and“MyFavoriteHighSchoolTeacher”and“WhatIThinkAboutBeetles,”byallmeansplumpforthebeetles.Bythetimetheinstructorgetstoyourpaper,hewillbeuptohisearsintedioustalesaboutaFrenchteacheratBloomburyHighandassertionsabouthowfraternitiesbuildcharacterandprepareoneforlife.Yourviewsonbeetles,whatevertheyare,areboundtobearefreshing?change.
Don''tworrytoomuchaboutfiguringoutwhattheinstructorthinksaboutthesubjectsothatyoucancuddleupwithhim.Chancesarehisviewsarenostrongerthanyours.Ifhedoeshaveconvictionsandyouopposehim,hisproblemistokeepfromgradingyouhigherthanyoudeserveinordertoshowheisnotbiased.Thisdoesn''tmeanthatyoushouldalwayscantankerouslydissentfromwhattheinstructorsays;thatgetstiresometoo.Andifthesubjectassignedis“MyPetPeeve,”donotbegin,“MypetpeeveistheEnglishinstructorwhoassignspaperson''mypetpeeve.”''ThiswasstillfunnyduringtheWarof1812,butithassortoflostitsedgesincethen.Itisingeneralgoodmannerstoavoid?personalities.
SLIPOUTOF?ABSTRACTION
Ifyouwillstudytheessayoncollegefootball[nearthebeginningofthisessay],youwillperceivethatonereasonforitsappallingdullnessisthatitnevergetsdowntoparticulars.Itisjustaseriesofnotveryglitteringgeneralities:“footballisbadforthecolleges,”“ithasbecometoocommercial,”“footballisbigbusiness,”“itisbadfortheplayers,”andsoon.Suchroundphrasesthuddingagainstthereader''sbrainareunlikelytoconvincehim,thoughtheymaywellrenderhim?unconscious.
Ifyouwantthereadertobelievethatcollegefootballisbadfortheplayers,youhavetodomorethansayso.Youhavetodisplaytheevil.Takeyourroommate,AlfredSimkins,thesecond-stringcenter.PicturepooroldAlfycominghomefromfootballpracticeeveryevening,bruisedandaching,agonizinglytired,scarcelyabletoshovelthemashedpotatoesintohismouth.Letusseehimstaggeringuptotheroom,gettingouthisecontextbook,peeringdesperatelyatitwithhisgoodeye,fallingasleepandfailingthetestinthemorning.LetussharehisunbearabletensionasSaturdaydrawsnear.Willhefail,bedemoted,losehismonthlyallowance,beforcedtoreturntothecoalmines?Andifhesucceeds,whatwillbehisreward?Perhapsaslightrippleofapplausewhenthethird-stringcenterreplaceshim,amomentofelationinthelockerroomiftheteamwins,ofdespairifitloses.Whatwillhelookbackonwhenhegraduatesfromcollege?Toilandtornligaments.Andwhatwillbehisfuture?Heisnotgoodenoughforprofootball,andheistooobscureandweakinecontosucceedinstocksandbonds.CollegefootballistearingtheheartfromAlfySimkinsand,whenitfinisheswithhim,willcallouslytossasidetheshattered?hulk.
Thisisnodoubtaweakenoughargumentfortheabolitionofcollegefootball,butitisasightbetterthansaying,inthreeorfourvariations,thatcollegefootball(inyouropinion)isbadforthe?players.
Lookattheworkofanyprofessionalwriterandnoticehowconstantlyheismovingfromthegenerality,theabstractstatement,totheconcreteexample,thefactsandfigures,theillustrations.Ifheiswritingonjuveniledelinquency,hedoesnotjusttellyouthatjuvenilesare(itseemstohim)delinquentandthat(inhisopinion)somethingshouldbedoneaboutit.Heshowsyoujuvenilesbeingdelinquent,tearingupmovietheatresinBuffalo,stabbinghighschoolprincipalsinDallas,smokingmarijuanainPaloAlto.Andmorethanlikelyheismovingtowardsomespecificremedy,notjustageneralwringingofthe?hands.
Itisnodoubtpossibletobetooconcrete,tooillustrativeoranecdotal,butfewinexperiencedwriterserrthisway.Formostthesoundestadviceistobeseekingalwaysforthepicture,tobealwaysturninggeneralremarksintoseeableexamples.Don''tsay,“Sororitiesteachgirlsthesocialgraces.”Say,“Sororitylifeteachesagirlhowtocarryonaconversationwhilepouringtea,withoutsloshingtheteaintothesaucer.”Don''tsay,“Ilikecertainkindsofpopularmusicverymuch.”Say,“WheneverIhearGerberSprinklittleplay''MississippiMan''onthetrombone,mysockscreepupmy?ankles.”
GETRIDOFOBVIOUS?PADDING
ThestudenttoilingawayathisweeklyEnglishthemeistoooftentormentedbyafigure:fivehundredwords.How,heaskshimself,ishetoachievethisstaggeringtotal?Obviouslybyneverusingonewordwhenhecansomehowworkin?ten.
Heisthereforeseldomcontentwithaplainstatementlike“Fastdrivingisdangerous.”Thishasonlyfourwordsinit.Hetakesthought,andthesentence?becomes:
Inmyopinion,fastdrivingisdangerous.
Better,buthecandobetter?still:
Inmyopinion,fastdrivingwouldseemtoberather?dangerous.
Ifheisreallyadept,itmaycome?out:
Inmyhumbleopinion.thoughIdonotclaimtobeanexpertonthiscomplicatedsubject,testdriving,inmostcircumstances,wouldseemtoberatherdangerousinmanyrespects,oratleastsoitwouldseemto?me.
Thusfourwordshavebeenturnedintoforty,andnotaniotaofcontenthasbeen?added.
Nowthisisawaytogoaboutreachingfivehundredwords,andifyouarecontentwitha“D”grade,itisasgoodawayasany.Butifyouaimhigher,youmustworkdifferently.Insteadofstuffingyoursentenceswithstraw,youmusttrysteadilytogetridofthepadding,tomakeyoursentencesleanandtough.Ifyouarereallyworkingatit,yourfirstdraftwillgreatlyexceedtherequiredtotal,andthenyouwillworkitdown,?thus:
Itisthoughtinsomequartersthatfraternitiesdonotcontributeasmuchasmightbeexpectedtocampuslife.
Somepeoplethinkthatfraternitiescontributelittletocampus?life.
Theaveragedoctorwhopracticesinsmalltownsorinthecountrymusttoilnightanddaytohealthe?sick.
Mostcountrydoctorsworklong?hours.
WhenIwasalittlegirl,Isufferedfromshynessandembarrassmentinthepresenceof?others.
Iwasashylittle?girl.
Itisabsolutelynecessaryforthepersonemployedasamarinefiremantogivethematterofsteampressurehisundividedattentionatall?times.
Thefiremanhastokeephiseyeonthesteam?gauge.
Youmayaskhowyoucanarriveatfivehundredwordsatthisrate.Simple.Youdigupmorerealcontent.Insteadoftakingacoupleofobviouspointsoffthesurfaceofthetopicandthencirclingwarilyaroundthemforsixparagraphs,youworkinandexplore,figureoutthedetails.Youillustrate.Yousaythatfastdrivingisdangerous,andthenyouproveit.Howlongdoesittaketostopacaratfortyandateighty?Howfarcanyouseeatnight?Whathappenswhenatireblows?Whathappensinahead-oncollisionatfiftymilesan?hour?
Prettysoonyourpaperwillbefullofbrokenglassandbloodandheadlesstorsos,andreachingfivehundredwordswillnotreallybea?problem.
CALLAFOOLA?FOOL
Someofthepaddinginfreshmanthemesistobeblamednotonanxietyaboutthewordminimumbutonexcessivetimidity.Thestudentwrites,“Inmyopinion,theprincipalofmyhighschoolactedinwaysthatIbelieveeveryunbiasedpersonwouldhavetocallfoolish.”Thisisn''texactlywhathemeans.Whathemeansis,“Myhighschoolprincipalwasafool.”Ifhewasafool,callhimafool.Hedgingthethingaboutwith“in-my-opinion''s”and“it-seems-to-me''s”and“as-I-see-it''s”and“at-least-from-my-point-of-view''s”gainsyounothing.Deletethesephraseswhenevertheycreepintoyour?paper.
Thestudent''stendencytohedgestemsfromamodestythatinothercircumstanceswouldbecommendable.Heis,herealizes,youngandinexperienced,andhehalfsuspectsthatheisdopeyandfuzzymindedbeyondtheaverage.Probablyonlytootrue.Butitdoesn''thelptoannounceyourincompetencesixtimesineveryparagraph.Decidewhatyouwanttosayandsayitasvigorouslyaspossible,withoutapologyandinplain?words.
Linguisticdiffidencecantakevariousforms.Oneiswhatwecalleuphemism.Thisisthetendencytocallaspade“acertaingardenimplement”orwomen''sunderwear“unmentionables.”Itisstrongerinsomeerasthanothersandinsomepeoplethanothersbutitalwaysoperatesmoreorlessinsubjectsthataretouchyortaboo:death,sex,madness,andsoon.Thusweshrinkfromsaying“Hediedlastnight”butsayinstead“passedaway,”“leftus,”“joinedhisMaker,”“wenttohisreward.”Orwetrytotakeoffthetensionwithalightercliché:“kickedthebucket,”“cashedinhischips,”“handedinhisdinnerpail.”Wehavefoundallsortsofwaystoavoidsayingmad:“mentallyill,”“touched,”“notquiterightupstairs,”“feebleminded,”“innocent,”“simple,”“offhistrolley,”“notinhisrightmind.”Evensuchanowplainwordasinsanebeganasaeuphemismwiththemeaning“not?healthy.”
Modernscience,particularlypsychology,contributesmanypolysyllablesinwhichwecanwrapourthoughtsandblunttheirforce.Tomanywritersthereisnosuchthingasabadschoolboy.Schoolboysaremaladjustedorunorientedormisunderstoodorintheneedofguidanceorlackingincontinuedsuccesstowardsatisfactoryintegrationofthepersonalityasasocialunit,buttheyareneverbad.Psychologynodoubtmakesusbettermenandwomen,moresympatheticandtolerant,butitdoesn''tmakewritinganyeasier.HadShakespearebeenconfrontedwithpsychology,“Tobeornottobe”mighthavecomeout,“Tocontinueasasocialunitornottodoso.Thatisthepersonalityproblem.Whether''tisabettersignofintegrationattheconsciousleveltodisplayapsychictolerancetowardthemaladjustmentsandrepressionsinducedbyone''slackoforientationinone''senvironmentor—”ButHamletwouldneverhavefinishedthe?soliloquy.
Writinginthemodernworld,youcannotaltogetheravoidmodernjargon.Nor,inanefforttogetawayfromeuphemism,shouldyousaltyourpaperwithfour-letterwords.Butyoucandomuchifyouwillmountguardagainstthoseroundaboutphrases,thoseechoingpolysyllablesthattendtoslipintoyourwritingtorobitofitscrispnessand?force.
BEWAREOFPAT?EXPRESSIONS
Otherthingsbeingequal,avoidphraseslike“otherthingsbeingequal.”Thosesentencesthatcometoyouwhole,orintwoorthreedoughylumps,aresuretobebadsentences.Theyarenocreationofyoursbutpiecesofcommonthoughtfloatinginthecommunity?soup.
Patexpressionsarehard,oftenimpossible,toavoid,becausetheycometooeasilytobenoticedandseemtoonecessarytobedispensedwith.Nowriteravoidsthemaltogether,butgoodwritersavoidthemmoreoftenthanpoor?writers.
By“patexpressions”wemeansuchtagsas“toallpracticalintentsandpurposes,”“thepureandsimpletruth,”“fromwhereIsit,”“thetimeofhislife,”“totheendsoftheearth,”“inthetwinklingofaneye,”“assureasyou''reborn,”“overmydeadbody,”“undercoverofdarkness,”“tooktheeasywayout,”“whenallissaidanddone,”“toldhimtimeandtimeagain,”“partedthebestoffriends,”“standupandbecounted,”“gavehimthebestyearsofherlife,”“workedherfingerstothebone.”Likeotherclichés,theseexpressionswereonceforceful.Nowweshouldusethemonlywhenwecan''tpossiblythinkofanything?else.
Somepatexpressionsstandlikeawallbetweenthewriterandthought.Suchaoneis“theAmericanwayoflife.”ManystudentwritersfeelthatwhentheyhavesaidthatsomethingaccordswiththeAmericanwayoflifeordoesnottheyhaveexhaustedthesubject.Actually,theyhavestoppedatthehighestlevelofabstraction.TheAmericanwayoflifeisthecomplicatedsetofbondsbetweenahundredandeightymillionways.Allofusknowthiswhenwethinkaboutit,butthetagphrasetoooftenkeepsusfromthinkingabout?it.
Sowithmanyanotherphrasedeartothepolitician:“thisgreatlandofours,”“themaninthestreet,”“ournationalheritage.”Thesemayproveourpatriotismorgiveacluetoourpoliticalbeliefs,butotherwisetheyaddnothingtothepaperexcept?words.
COLORFUL?WORDS
Thewriterbuildswithwords,andnobuilderusesarawmaterialmoreslipperyandelusiveandtreacherous.Awriter''sworkisaconstantstruggletogettherightwordintherightplace,tofindthatparticularwordthatwillconveyhismeaningexactly,thatwillpersuadethereaderorsoothehimorstartleoramusehim.Heneversucceedsaltogether—sometimeshefeelsthathescarcelysucceedsatall—butsuchsuccessesashehasarewhatmakethethingworth?doing.
Thereisnobookofrulesforthisgame.Oneprogressesthrougheverlastingexperimentonthebasisofever-wideningexperience.Therearefewusefulgeneralizationsthatonecanmakeaboutwordsaswords,butthereareperhapsa?few.
Somewordsarewhatwecall“colorful.”Bythiswemeanthattheyarecalculatedtoproduceapictureorinduceanemotion.Theyaredressyinsteadofplain,specificinsteadofgeneral,loudinsteadofsoft.Thus,inplaceof“Herheartbeat,”wemaywrite,“herheartpounded,throbbed,fluttered,danced.”Insteadof“Hesatinhischair,”wemaysay,“helounged,sprawled,coiled.”Insteadof“Itwashot,”wemaysay,“Itwasblistering,sultry,muggy,suffocating,steamy,wilting.”
However,itshouldnotbesupposedthatthefancywordisalwaysbetter.Oftenitisaswelltowrite“Herheartbeat”or“Itwashot”ifthatisallitdidorallitwas.Agesdifferinhowtheyliketheirprose.Thenineteenthcenturylikeditrichandsmoky.Thetwentiethhasusuallypreferreditleanandcool.Thetwentiethcenturywriter,likeallwriters,isforeverseekingtheexactword,butheiswaryofsoundingfeverish.Hetendstopitchitlow,tounderstateit,tothrowitaway.Heknowsthatifhegetstoocolorful,theaudienceislikelyto?giggle.
Seehowthisstrikesyou:“Astherich,goldenglowofthesunsetdiedawayalongtheeternalwesternhills,Angela''slimpidblueeyeslookedsoftlyandtrustinglyintoMontague''sflashingbrownones,andherheartpoundedlikeadrumintimewiththejoyoussongsurginginhersoul.”Somepeoplelikethatsortofthing,butmostmodernreaderswouldsay,“Goodgrief,”andturnonthe?television.
COLORED?WORDS
Somewordswewouldcallnotsomuchcolorfulascolored—thatis,loadedwithassociations,goodorbad.Allwords—exceptperhapsstructurewords—haveassociationsofsomesort.Wehavesaidthatthemeaningofawordisthesumofthecontextsinwhichitoccurs.Whenwehearaword,wehearwithitanechoofallthesituationsinwhichwehaveheardit?before.
Insomewords,theseechoesareobviousanddiscussible.Thewordmother,forexample,has,formostpeople,agreeableassociations.Whenyouhearmotheryouprobablythinkofhome,safety,love,food,andvariousotherpleasantthings.Ifonewrites,“Shewaslikeamothertome,”hegetsaneffectwhichhewouldnotgetin“Shewaslikeanaunttome.”Theadvertisermakesuseoftheassociationsofmotherbyworkingitinwhenhetalksabouthisproduct.Thepoliticianworksitinwhenhetalksabout?himself.
Soalsowithsuchwordsashome,liberty,fireside,contentment,patriot,tenderness,sacrifice,childlike,manly,bluff,limpid.Allofthesewordsareloadedwithassociationsthatwouldberatherhardtoindicateinastraightforwarddefinition.Thereismorethanaliteraldifferencebetween“Theysataroundthefireside”and“Theysataroundthestove.”Theymighthavebeenequallywarmandhappyaroundthestove,butfiresidesuggestsleisure,grace,quiettradition,congenialcompany,andstovedoes?not.
Conversely,somewordshavebadassociations.Mothersuggestspleasantthings,butmother-in-lawdoesnot.Manymothers-in-lawareheroicallylovableandsomemothersdrinkginalldayandbeattheirchildreninsensible,butthesefactsoflifearebesidethepoint.Thepointisthatmothersoundsgoodandmother-in-lawdoes?not.
Orconsiderthewordintellectual.Thiswouldseemtobeacomplimentaryterm,butinpointoffactitisnot,forithaspickedupassociationsofimpracticalityandineffectualityandgeneraldopiness.Soalsosuchwordsasliberal,reactionary,Communist,socialist,capitalist,radical,schoolteacher,truckdriver;operator,salesman,huckster,speculator.Theseconveymeaningontheliterallevel,butbeyondthat—sometimes,insomeplaces—theyconveycontemptonthepartofthe?speaker.
Thequestionofwhethertouseloadedwordsornotdependsonwhatisbeingwritten.Thescientist,thescholar,trytoavoidthem;forthepoet,theadvertisingwriter,thepublicspeaker,theyarestandardequipment.Buteverywritershouldtakecarethattheydonotsubstituteforthought.Ifyouwrite,“AnyonewhothinksthatisnothingbutaSocialist(orCommunistorcapitalist)”youhavesaidnothingexceptthatyoudon''tlikepeoplewhothinkthat,andsuchremarksareeffectiveonlywiththemostnaivereaders.Itisalwaysabadmistaketothinkyourreadersmorenaivethantheyreally?are.
COLORLESS?WORDS
Butprobablymoststudentwriterscometogriefnotwithwordsthatarecolorfulorthosethatarecoloredbutwiththosethathavenocoloratall.Apetexampleisnice,awordwewouldfindithardtodispensewithincasualconversationbutwhichisnolongercapableofaddingmuchtoadescription.Colorlesswordsarethoseofsuchgeneralmeaningthatinaparticularsentencetheymeannothing.Slangadjectiveslikecool(“That''srealcool”)tendtoexplodealloverthelanguage.Theyareappliedtoeverything,losetheiroriginalforce,andquickly?die.
Bewarealsoofnounsofverygeneralmeaning,likecircumstances,cases,instances,aspects,factors,relationships,attitudes,eventualities,etc.Inmostcircumstancesyouwillfindthatthosecasesofwritingwhichcontaintoomanyinstancesofwordslikethesewillinthisandotheraspectshavefactorsleadingtounsatisfactoryrelationshipswiththereaderresultinginunfavorableattitudesonhispartandperhapsothereventualities,likeagradeof“D.”Noticealsowhatetc.means.Itmeans“I''dliketomakethislistlonger,butIcan''tthinkofanymore?examples.”
ThisessaywaswrittenbyPaulMcHenryRoberts
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