TED英语演说优选-TED演讲|被拒绝100次后,世界开始对他说Yes贾江勇敢地冒险进入我们许多人担心的领土:拒绝。通过寻求100天 的拒绝,从要求一个陌生人借100美元到在一家餐馆里请求“汉堡包”,贾江最终达成了让自己对拒绝经常带来的痛苦和耻辱不敏感的目标。其实 被打破被拒绝的困境并不难,只要你能“勇敢开口”,并且坚持“多问一句”。演讲者:JiaJiang演说题目:不要害怕被拒绝,拒绝并不 可怕WhenIwassixyearsold,Ireceivedmygifts.Myfirstgradet eacherhadthisbrilliantidea.Shewantedustoexperiencerecei vinggiftsbutalsolearningthevirtueofcomplimentingeachoth er.Soshehadallofuscometothefrontoftheclassroom,and sheboughtallofusgiftsand?stackedtheminthecorner.?当我6岁的时候 ,我收到了份礼物。我一年级的老师有一个很棒的主意。她想让我们在接受礼物的同时还能学习如何表扬他人。所以她让我们走到教室前面,她给我 们每个人带了礼物,堆在墙角。Andshesaid,"Whydon''twejuststandhereandcom plimenteachother?Ifyouhearyournamecalled,goandpickup yourgiftandsitdown."Whatawonderfulidea,right?Whatcould gowrong?然后她说:“让我们在这里互相表扬吧。如果你听到有谁表扬你,就去拿一份礼物然后回座位。”多棒的主意,对吗?能出什 么差错呢??Well,therewere40ofustostartwith,andeverytimeIh eardsomeone''snamecalled,Iwouldgiveouttheheartiestcheer. Andthentherewere20peopleleft,and10peopleleft,andfive left...andthreeleft.?我们一共有40个孩子,每一次别人被叫到名字,我都会很高兴的叫好。然后剩下20个 人,然后10个人,5个人……最后剩下了3个人。AndIwasoneofthem.Andthecompliments stopped.Well,atthatmoment,Iwascrying.Andtheteacherwas ?freaking?out.Shewaslike,"Hey,wouldanyonesayanythingnice aboutthesepeople?"而我是其中一个。再也没有表扬了。就在那时,我开始哭。老师也不知所措。她说:“嘿,有没有人 愿意表扬一下这些同学?”?"Noone?OK,whydon''tyougogetyourgiftandsit down.Sobehavenextyear—someonemightsaysomethingniceabou tyou."“没有吗?好吧。那你们去拿一份礼物然后回座位吧。明年要好好表现哦,说不定会有人表扬你。”??Well,asI'' mdescribingthisyou,youprobablyknowIrememberthisreallyw ell.你看我记得如此清楚,因为这是我心里永远的痛。?ButIdon''tknowwhofeltworsethatd ay.Wasitmeortheteacher?Shemusthaverealizedthatshetur nedateam-buildingeventintoapublicroastforthreesix-year- olds.Andwithoutthehumor.?但我不知道当天谁的感觉更糟糕,我还是我的老师?她一定意识到自己把一个团队 建设活动变成了3个6岁孩子的尴尬时刻。而且这种尴尬一点都不好笑。Youknow,whenyouseepeopleget roastedonTV,itwasfunny.Therewasnothingfunnyaboutthat day.电视上演的那些尴尬时刻,非常好笑。但那天一点都不好笑。?Sothatwasoneversionofme,an dIwoulddietoavoidbeinginthatsituationagain—togetrej ectedinpublicagain.That''soneversion.Thenfast-forwardeigh tyears.BillGatescametomyhometown—Beijing,China—tospe ak,andIsawhismessage.?所以那是一个版本的我,我死也不要再次经历这种事情——在众目睽睽下被拒绝。这是 一个版本。时间快进8年。比尔·盖茨来到我的家乡——中国北京——做演讲。我看了他的演讲。Ifellinlovewithth atguy.Ithought,wow,IknowwhatIwanttodonow.Thatnight Iwrotealettertomyfamilytellingthem:"Byage25,Iwillbu ildthebiggestcompanyintheworld,andthatcompanywillbuyM icrosoft."然后就被他深深迷住了。我想,哇,我找到了人生目标。当天晚上我给家人写了一封信,信上说,“在25岁之前,我要打造 一个世界上最大的公司,而这家公司会买下微软。”?Itotallyembracedthisideaofconquerin gtheworld—domination,right?AndIdidn''tmakethisup,Idid writethatletter.Andhereitis—Youdon''thavetoreadthist hrough—Thisisalsobadhandwriting,butIdidhighlightsomeke ywords.Yougettheidea.我向他真心学到了征服世界的想法,统治世界,对吧。我没骗你们,我真的写了信。就是 这封——你没必要看懂中文,字也写得不好看,但我划出了一些重点词。你们就明白了。?So...thatwasanotherv ersionofme:onewhowillconquertheworld.所以……这是另一个版本的我,一个想要征服 世界的我。?Well,thentwoyearslater,Iwaspresentedwiththeopport unitytocometotheUnitedStates.Ijumpedonit,becausethat waswhereBillGateslived,right?时间又过了两年,我得到了一个来美国的机会,我抓住了它,因为这可 是比尔·盖茨的故乡啊,对吧??Ithoughtthatwasthestartofmy?entrepreneur?jo urney.Then,fast-forwardanother14years.Iwas30.Nope,Idid n''tbuildthatcompany.Ididn''tevenstart.Iwasactuallyamar ketingmanagerforaFortune500company.AndIfeltIwasstuck; Iwas?stagnant.?当时我觉得这会是我创业生涯的开始。然后,再快进14年,我三十岁了。我并没有成立那家公司。甚至没有 开始。而是成为了一家500强企业里一个平凡的市场经理。我感觉我卡住了,停滞不前。Whyisthat?Whereistha t14-year-oldwhowrotethatletter?It''snotbecausehedidn''tt ry.It''sbecauseeverytimeIhadanewidea,everytimeIwanted totrysomethingnew,evenatwork—Iwantedtomakeaproposal ,Iwantedtospeakupinfrontofpeopleinagroup—?为什么呢?那个写信的 14岁孩子去哪了?不是因为他没有尝试。而是因为每次我有了新的主意,每次我想尝试一些新的东西,甚至在工作的时候——我想提出一个方案, 我想在一群人面前讲话——Ifelttherewasthisconstantbattlebetweenthe14- year-oldandthesix-year-old.Onewantedtoconquertheworld— makeadifference—anotherwasafraidofrejection.Andeveryti methatsix-year-oldwon.我感觉6岁的我和14岁的我之间一直在斗争。一个想征服世界,改变现况,另一个却害怕 被拒绝。然而每次那个6岁的我都赢了。?Andthisfeareven?persisted?afterIstartedm yowncompany.Imean,IstartedmyowncompanywhenIwas30—i fyouwanttobeBillGates,you''vegottostartsoonerorlater, right?WhenIwasanentrepreneur,Iwaspresentedwithaninves tmentopportunity,andthenIwasturneddown.Andthatrejection hurtme.?这个惧怕甚至持续到我开了自己的公司。我在30岁的时候成立了我的公司,如果你想成为比尔·盖茨,迟早要踏出第一步, 对吗?当我开始创业后不久,遇见了一个被投资的机会,但是我最终被拒绝了,那次拒绝伤害了我。Ithurtmesobadtha tIwantedtoquitrightthere.ButthenIthought,hey,wouldBi llGatesquitafterasimpleinvestmentrejection?Wouldanysucc essfulentrepreneurquitlikethat?Noway.Andthisiswhereit clickedforme.OK,Icanbuildabettercompany.Icanbuildab etterteamorbetterproduct,butonethingforsure:I''vegotto beabetterleader.?严重到我想当场放弃。但是我想,嘿,比尔·盖茨会在一次投资被拒后就放弃吗?任何成功的创业人 会像那样放弃吗?当然不。我突然间恍然大悟。我能创立一个更好的公司。我能建立更好的团队,开发更好的产品,但有一件事是必须的:我要成为 一个更好的领导者。I''vegottobeabetterperson.Icannotletthatsix-ye ar-oldkeepdictatingmylifeanymore.Ihavetoputhimbackin hisplace.SothisiswhereIwentonlineandlookedforhelp.Go oglewasmyfriend.我要成为一个更好的人。我不能让那个6岁的我继续支配我的生活。我要战胜他。所以我上网寻求帮助。 谷歌是我的朋友。?Isearched,"HowdoIovercomethefearofrejection?"I cameupwithabunchofpsychologyarticlesaboutwherethefear andpainarecomingfrom.ThenIcameupwithabunchof"rah-ra h"inspirationalarticlesabout"Don''ttakeitpersonally,justo vercomeit."Whodoesn''tknowthat?我搜索:“怎么克服被拒绝的恐惧?”跳出了很多心理学文章,关于 恐惧和痛苦的来源。然后是一些励志的文章关于“不要太在意,克服就好。”废话,地球人都知道好吗。?ButwhywasIstil lsoscared?ThenIfoundthiswebsitebyluck.It''scalledrejec tiontherapy.com.但为什么我还是很害怕?然后我意外找到了这个网站,叫做被拒治疗法。?"RejectionThera py"wasthisgameinventedbythisCanadianentrepreneur.Hisnam eisJasonComely.Andbasicallytheideaisfor30daysyougoo utandlookforrejection,andeverydaygetrejectedatsomethin g,andthenbytheend,you?desensitize?yourselffromthepain.A ndIlovedthatidea.?“被拒治疗法”是加拿大一个创业者发明的游戏,他叫杰森·康利。游戏很简单,你出门找拒绝, 持续30天,每天都主动找人因某些事拒绝你,最后,你对被拒绝就会感到麻木了。我太爱这个主意了。?Isaid,"Youknow what?I''mgoingtodothis.AndI''llfeelmyselfgettingrejected 100days."AndIcameupwithmyownrejectionideas,andImade avideoblogoutofit.我说:“好吧。我就这么干。我要让自己被拒绝100天,而且把情景录制下来。”我要自己 想象出被拒绝的注意,还为此创建了视频博客。?Andsohere''swhatIdid.Thisiswhatthe bloglookedlike.DayOne...这就是我做的。这就是那个博客。第一天……?Borrow100doll arsfromastranger.SothisiswhereIwenttowhereIwasworki ng.IcamedownstairsandIsawthisbigguysittingbehindades k.Helookedlikeasecurityguard.SoIjustapproachedhim.?向一个 陌生人借100美金。所以我来到公司,我走下楼,看见桌子后面坐着一个壮汉。可能是保安吧。所以我接近他,我走向他。AndIwas justwalkingandthatwasthelongestwalkofmylife—hairont hebackofmyneckstandingup,Iwassweatingandmyheartwas?p ounding.AndIgotthereandsaid,"Hey,sir,canIborrow100do llarsfromyou?"简直是我人生中最漫长一段路,我觉得脖子后面的汗毛都竖起来了,手心都是汗,心怦怦直跳。我走到他面前, 说:“先生你好,我能向你借100美金吗?”?Andhelookedup,he''slike,"No.""Why?"他抬 起头,说:“不行。?为什么?”??AndIjustsaid,"No?I''msorry."ThenIturned around,andIjustran.我说:“不行吗?真不好意思。”?然后我转身就逃了。??Ifeltsoembar rassed.ButbecauseIfilmedmyself—sothatnightIwaswatchin gmyselfgettingrejected,IjustsawhowscaredIwas.Ilooked likethiskidin"TheSixthSense."Isawdeadpeople.我感觉非常尴尬。但是因 为我录下了这段经历,所以那天晚上,我重看了一遍被拒绝的过程,我看到了自己有多害怕。像是《灵异第六感》里的孩子,看见死人一样害怕。? ButthenIsawthisguy.Youknow,hewasn''tthat?menacing.Hewa sa?chubby,loveableguy,andheevenaskedme,"Why?"Infact,h einvitedmetoexplainmyself.AndIcould''vesaidmanythings. Icould''veexplained,Icould''venegotiated.?但我又看了看那个人,他并没有那么可怕。看 起来胖乎乎的,很可爱,他甚至还问我,“为什么”。事实上,他给了我解释的机会,我本来可以说很多。我可以解释,可以交涉。Ididn'' tdoanyofthat.AllIdidwasrun.Ifelt,wow,thisislikea? microcosm?ofmylife.EverytimeIfelttheslightestrejection, IwouldjustrunasfastasIcould.Andyouknowwhat?Thenext day,nomatterwhathappens,I''mnotgoingtorun.I''llstayenga ged.但我什么都没做,我只是逃走了。我觉得,哇,这简直就是我人生的缩影。每次我遇到一点小小的拒绝,我就撒腿就跑。于是我决定了,第 二天,不管发生了什么,我都不会逃跑。我会继续交涉。?DayTwo:Requesta"burgerrefill."第二天: 请求一个“汉堡续杯”。?It''swhenIwenttoaburgerjoint,Ifinishedlunch, andIwenttothecashierandsaid,"Hi,canIgetaburgerrefi ll?"我来到一家汉堡店,吃完午餐,走向收银员,说:“你好,我能来一个汉堡续杯吗?”?Hewasallconfused,l ike,"What''saburgerrefill?"他非常疑惑,“什么是汉堡续杯?”?Isaid,"Well,it'' sjustlikeadrinkrefillbutwithaburger."Andhesaid,"Sorr y,wedon''tdoburgerrefill,man."我说:“就像饮料续杯啊,只是换成汉堡。”他说:“不好意思,哥 们儿,我们没有汉堡续杯。”?SothisiswhererejectionhappenedandIcouldhav erun,butIstayed.Isaid,"Well,Iloveyourburgers,Ilovey ourjoint,andifyouguysdoaburgerrefill,Iwillloveyougu ysmore."所以我被拒绝了,我本可以逃跑,但我没有。我说:“我超爱你们的汉堡,超爱你们的店,如果你们能做汉堡续杯,我会爱死你 们的。”?Andhesaid,"Well,OK,I''lltellmymanageraboutit,andm aybewe''lldoit,butsorry,wecan''tdothistoday."ThenIleft .Andbytheway,Idon''tthinkthey''veeverdoneburgerrefill.然 后他说:“好吧,我会向经理汇报的,以后可能会有这项服务,但抱歉,今天实在没有办法。”然后我走了。顺便说一句,我觉得他们不会推出汉堡 续杯服务的。?Ithinkthey''restillthere.Butthelifeanddeathfeelin gIwasfeelingthefirsttimewasnolongerthere,justbecause Istayedengaged—becauseIdidn''trun.Isaid,"Wow,great,I''m alreadylearningthings.Great."他们的店还没倒闭。但第一天那种紧张到死的感觉,已经没有了,仅仅因 为我留了来交涉,没有逃跑。我说:“哇,好棒,我已经有所长进了,真的很不错。”?AndthenDayThree:Gettin gOlympicDoughnuts.Thisiswheremylifewasturnedupsidedown .IwenttoaKrispyKreme.It''sadoughnutshopinmainlytheSo utheasternpartoftheUnitedStates.?第三天:索要奥林匹克甜甜圈。我的人生从此开始被颠覆。我 去了“卡卡圈坊”,一家卖甜甜圈的店,主要分布在美国的东南部。I''msuretheyhavesomehere,too. AndIwentin,Isaid,"Canyoumakemedoughnutsthatlooklike Olympicsymbols?Basically,you?interlink?fivedoughnutstogether ..."Imeanthere''snowaytheycouldsayyes,right?Thedough nutmakertookmesoseriously.当然这里应该也有。我走进店里,说:“你能为我做一些长得像奥林匹克标志 的甜甜圈吗?就是把五个甜甜圈连起来……”按理来说他们不可能答应,对吧?但那个做甜甜圈的特别重视我的要求!?Sosheputo utpaper,started?jotting?downthecolorsandtherings,andisl ike,"HowcanImakethis?"Andthen15minuteslater,shecameo utwithaboxthatlookedlikeOlympicrings.AndIwassotouche d.Ijustcouldn''tbelieveit.Andthatvideogotoverfivemilli onviewsonYoutube.Theworldcouldn''tbelievethateither.她居然拿出 一张纸,记下颜色和排列,思考该怎么制作。15分钟后,她拿着一盒奥运五环甜甜圈出来了。我感动极了,简直难以置信。这个视频在Youtu be上获得了超过5百万的浏览量。看来整个世界也无法相信。?Youknow,becauseofthatIwasinn ewspapers,intalkshows,ineverything.AndIbecamefamous.Al otofpeoplestartedwritingemailstomeandsaying,"Whatyou''r edoingisawesome."Butyouknow,fameand?notoriety?didnotdo anythingtome.?因为这件事,我上了报纸,参加脱口秀,可忙了。我出名了。很多人开始给我写邮件,说:“你做的事情太棒了 。”但知名度并不是我想要的。WhatIreallywantedtodowaslearn,andtochange myself.SoIturnedtherestofmy100daysofrejectionintoth isplayground—intothisresearchproject.Iwantedtoseewhat Icouldlearn.我真正想要的是学习和改变自己。所以我把“被拒100天”剩下的经历变成了个人游乐场,变成了研究项目。想看 看我能学到什么。?AndthenIlearnedalotofthings.Idiscoveredsomany secrets.Forexample,IfoundifIjustdon''trun,ifIgotreje cted,Icouldactuallyturna"no"intoa"yes,"andthemagicwo rdis,"why."我学到了很多事情,我发现了很多秘密。比如,我发现只要我在遭到拒绝后,不逃之夭夭,我可以把“不行”变成“行 ”,秘诀就是问对方“为什么”。?SoonedayIwenttoastranger''shouse,Ihadth isflowerinmyhand,knockedonthedoorandsaid,"Hey,canIp lantthisflowerinyourbackyard?"有一天,我去一个陌生人家,捧着一束花,敲他的门,问:“嘿,我 能把这束花种在你家后院吗?”?Andhesaid,"No."ButbeforehecouldleaveIsai d,"Hey,canIknowwhy?"Andhesaid,"Well,Ihavethisdogtha twoulddigupanythingIputinthebackyard.Idon''twanttowa steyourflower.?然后他说:“不行。”在他关门之前,我说:“嘿,你能告诉我为什么吗?”他说:“我有一只狗,它会把后 院所有东西都刨出来。我不想浪费你的鲜花。Ifyouwanttodothis,goacrossthestreet andtalktoConnie.Shelovesflowers."Sothat''swhatIdid.Iw entacrossandknockedonConnie''sdoor.Andshewassohappyto seeme.如果你想种花,你可以到街对面,问问康妮,她超爱花的。”我照做了。我穿过马路,敲开妮家的门。她看到我可开心了。?And thenhalfanhourlater,therewasthisflowerinConnie''sbacky ard.I''msureitlooksbetternow.一个半小时后,我的花就种在了康妮的院子里。我保证,它现在比这要 美多了。?ButhadIleftafterthe?initial?rejection,Iwould''vethoug ht,well,it''sbecausetheguydidn''ttrustme,it''sbecauseIwa scrazy,becauseIdidn''tdressupwell,Ididn''tlookgood.?如果我在 被拒后选择离开,我可能会想,也许那个人不相信我,因为我的要求很疯狂,可能因为我穿得不好,看上去不怎么样。Itwasnoneo fthose.ItwasbecausewhatIoffereddidnotfitwhathewanted .Andhetrustedmeenoughtooffermeareferral,usingasalest erm.Iconvertedareferral.结果都不是。仅仅因为我提供的不是他想要的。他其实很信任我,还给我推荐了别人 ,用销售的行话来说,我完成了一次转交处理。?Thenoneday—andIalsolearnedthatIca nactuallysaycertainthingsandmaximizemychancetogetayes .Soforexample,onedayIwenttoaStarbucks,andaskedthema nager,"Hey,canIbeaStarbucksgreeter?"Hewaslike,"What''s aStarbucksgreeter?"?然后有一天——我又学到一招,我可以通过表述一些确定的事情,增加我的提议被接受的可能性。 比如,有一天我走进一家星巴克,问经理,“我能成为星巴克迎宾员吗?”他问:“什么是星巴克迎宾员?”Isaid,"Doyouk nowthoseWalmartgreeters?Youknow,thosepeoplewhosay''hi''t oyoubeforeyouwalkinthestore,andmakesureyoudon''tsteal stuff,basically?IwanttogiveaWalmartexperiencetoStarbuc kscustomers."我说:“你知道沃尔玛迎宾员吗?就是那些在你进店前,跟你打招呼,然后盯着你在店里别偷东西的人?我想给星巴 克顾客带来沃尔玛式的体验。”?Well,I''mnotsurethat''sagoodthing,actually— Actually,I''mprettysureit''sabadthing.Andhewaslike,"Oh "—yeah,thisishowhelooked,hisnameisEric—andhewasli ke,"I''mnotsure."Thisishowhewashearingme."Notsure."?我不 确定这种体验好不好,实际上因该肯定不好。然后他说:“哦,”没错,就是他,他叫埃里克,他说:“我不确定。”这就是当时他的表情,“我不 确定。”ThenIaskhim,"Isthatweird?"He''slike,"Yeah,it''sreall yweird,man."Butassoonashesaidthat,hiswhole?demeanor?ch anged.It''sasifhe''sputtingallthedoubtonthefloor.Andhe said,"Yeah,youcandothis,justdon''tgettooweird."然后我问他,“这 很奇怪吗?”他说:“没错,哥们儿,很奇怪。”但是在他说完之后,他的整个举止就变了。像是这事儿提出来后他就把怀疑全倒干净了。他说:“ 好吧,你做吧,但希望你别太奇怪了。”?SoforthenexthourIwastheStarbucksgreet er.Isaid"hi"toeverycustomerthatwalkedin,andgavethemh olidaycheers.Bytheway,Idon''tknowwhatyourcareer?trajecto ry?is,don''tbeagreeter.所以接下来的一个小时,我成为了星巴克迎宾员。我对每一个进门的顾客说“你好”,祝 他们节日快乐。顺便提一句,我不知道你们的职业规划是什么,千万不要当迎宾员。?Itwasreallyboring.Butt henIfoundIcoulddothisbecauseImentioned,"Isthatweird?" Imentionedthedoubtthathewashaving.AndbecauseImentione d,"Isthatweird?",thatmeansIwasn''tweird.?真的很无聊。但后来我发现,我之所以 能成功,是因为我提到了“这很奇怪吗?”我提出了他心里的疑问。正因为我问了“这很奇怪吗”,恰恰意味着我不奇怪。Thatmeans Iwasactuallythinkingjustlikehim,seeingthisasaweirdthi ng.Andagain,andagain,IlearnedthatifImentionsomedoubt peoplemighthavebeforeIaskthequestion,Igainedtheirtrust .Peopleweremorelikelytosayyestome.这意味着我跟他想的一样,也觉得这事儿很奇怪。 就这样一次又一次,我体会到,如果在我提出自己的要求之前,我能说出对方心里的疑问,我就能赢得他们的信任。他们也更有可能答应我的要求。 ?AndthenIlearnedIcouldfulfillmylifedream...byasking. Youknow,Icamefromfourgenerationsofteachers,andmygrandm ahasalwaystoldme,"HeyJia,youcandoanythingyouwant,but it''dbegreatifyoubecameateacher."然后我明白了,要想实现人生理想,只要开口。我家四代 都是老师,我的奶奶一直跟我说,“阿甲(我的小名),你可以做任何你想做的事情,但最好还是当老师。”?ButIwantedto beanentrepreneur,soIdidn''t.Butithasalwaysbeenmydream toactuallyteachsomething.SoIsaid,"WhatifIjustaskandt eachacollegeclass?"IlivedinAustinatthetime,soIwentt oUniversityofTexasatAustinandknockedonprofessors''doors andsaid,"CanIteachyourclass?"?但我的理想是创业,所以我没当老师。但是给人讲课却一直是我的 梦想。所以我想:“如果我直接请求去大学教一堂课呢?”当时我住在奥斯汀,所以我去了德州大学奥斯汀分校,敲教授的门,问“我可以教您的课 吗?”Ididn''tgetanywherethefirstcoupleoftimes.ButbecauseI didn''trun—Ikeptdoingit—andonthethirdtrytheprofesso rwasveryimpressed.Hewaslike,"Noonehasdonethisbefore." ?开始几次我没有成功,但我没有逃,不停去尝试,到了第3次,教授被打动了。他说:“从没有人做过这事。”AndIcameinp reparedwithpowerpointsandmylesson.Hesaid,"Wow,Icanuse this.Whydon''tyoucomebackintwomonths?I''llfityouinmyc urriculum."AndtwomonthslaterIwasteachingaclass.我来之前就已经准备 好幻灯片和课程。他说:“哇,我真的能用上这些。你两个月后过来吧,我把你加到我的课表里。”两个月后,我去教了一堂课。?Thisis me—youprobablycan''tsee,thisisabadpicture.Youknow,so metimesyougetrejectedbylighting,youknow?这是我——你可能看不清楚,照片拍得不 好。有的时候连光线都拒绝你,对吗??Butwow—whenIfinishedteachingthatclass, Iwalkedoutcrying,becauseIthoughtIcouldfulfillmylifedr eamjustbysimplyasking.IusedtothinkIhavetoaccomplisha llthesethings—havetobeagreatentrepreneur,orgetaPhDt oteach—butno,Ijustasked,andIcouldteach.但是,当我教完那堂课,我是哭着 走出来的,因为我发现,我可以实现人生理想,只需要开口请求。而原本我以为,要实现理想,要先达到许多标准——比如成为杰出的创业者,或者 成为博士才能教书——并不是,我只要开口请求,我就能教书。?Andinthatpicture,whichyoucan''t see,IquotedMartinLutherKing,Jr.Why?Becauseinmyresearc hIfoundthatpeoplewhoreallychangetheworld,whochangethe wayweliveandthewaywethink,arethepeoplewhoweremetwi thinitialandoftenviolentrejections.?在这张照片里,可能大家看不到,我援引了马丁·路德 ·金的话,为什么?因为我发现那些改变了世界的人,改变了我们生活方式和思维方式的人,都是那些遭到开始的拒绝,甚至暴力拒绝的人。PeoplelikeMartinLutherKing,Jr.,likeMahatmaGandhi,NelsonMandela,orevenJesusChrist.Thesepeopledidnotletrejectiondefinethem.Theylettheirownreactionafterrejectiondefinethemselves.Andtheyembracedrejection.比如马丁·路德·金,圣雄甘地,尼尔森·曼德拉,甚至耶稣基督。这些人没有让拒绝定义自己,而是用被拒绝后的行动定义了自己。他们拥抱拒绝。?Andwedon''thavetobethosepeopletolearnaboutrejection,andinmycase,rejectionwasmycurse,wasmy?boogeyman.IthasbotheredmemywholelifebecauseIwasrunningawayfromit.ThenIstartedembracingit.?要了解拒绝,我们不需要成为这些人,以我为例,拒绝曾是我的诅咒,曾是我的梦魔。它困扰了我一生,因为我曾经不敢面对它。然后我开始拥抱它。Iturnedthatintothebiggestgiftinmylife.Istartedteachingpeoplehowtoturnrejectionsintoopportunities.Iusemyblog,Iusemytalk,IusethebookIjustpublished,andI''mevenbuildingtechnologytohelppeopleovercometheirfearofrejection.把它转变为我人生中最大的礼物。我开始教别人如何把拒绝变成机会。用我的博客,我的演讲,用我刚刚出版的书,我还发展科技,来帮助人们克服被拒绝的恐惧。?Whenyougetrejectedinlife,whenyouarefacingthenext?obstacle?ornextfailure,considerthepossibilities.Don''trun.Ifyoujustembracethem,theymightbecomeyourgiftsaswell.当你在人生中遭到拒绝,当你面对下一个障碍,或下一次失败,想想以下这个可能:不要逃跑。如果你拥抱它们,它们也可能成为你的礼物。?Thankyou.谢谢大家。 |
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