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Steamboat Mountain is a man-killer and truckers who haul the Alaska Highway treat it with respect, particularly in the winter.
The road curves and twists over the mountain and sheer cliffs drop away sharply from the icy road. Countless trucks and truckers have been lost there and many more will follow their last tracks.
On one trip upthe highway, I came upon the Royal Canadian Mounted Police and several wreckers winchings the remains of a semi-up the steep cliff. I parked my rig and went over to the quiet group of truckers who were watching the wreckage slowly come into sight.
One of the Mounties walked over to us and spoke quietly,"I'm sorry", he said, "The driver was died when we found him. He must have gone over the side two days when we had a bad snowstorm. Here, maybe you guys should read this. I guess he lived for a couple of hours until the cold got to him."
I'd never seen tears in a cop's eyes before--I always figured they'd seen so much death and despair they were immune to it, but he wiped tears as he handed me the letter. As I read it, I begun to weep. Each driver silently read the words, and then quietly walked back to his rig. The words were burned into my memory and now, years later, that letter is still vivid as if I were holding it before me. I want to share that letter with you and your families.
My Daring Wife,
This is a letter that no man ever wants to write, but I'm lucky enough to have some time to say what I've forgotten to say so mant times. I love you, sweetheart.
You used to kid me that I loved the truck more than you because I spent more time with her. I do love this piece of iron- she's been good to me. she's seen me through a tough times and tough places. I could always count on her in a long haul and she was speedy in the stretches. She never let me down.
But you want to know something? I love you for the same reasons. You've seen me through the tough tithes and places, too.
I think now of all the things you gave up for me: The clothes, the holidays, the parties, and the friends. You ever complained and somehow I never remembered to thank you for being you.
When I sat having coffee with the boys, I always talked about my truck, my payments. I guess I forgot you were my partner even if you weren't in the cab with me. It was your sacrifices and determination as much as mine that finally got the new truck.
I was so proud of that truck I was bursting. I was proud of you too, but I never told you that. I took it for granted you knew, but if I had spent as much time talking with you as I did polishing chrome, perhaps I would have.
In all the years I've pounded the pavement. I always knew your prayers road with me. But this time they weren't enough.
I'm hurt and it's bad. I've made my last mile and I want to sat the things that should have been said so many times before and the things that were forgotten because I was too concerned about the truck and the job.
I'm thinking about the missed anniversaries and birthdays. The school plays and hocky games that you went to alone because I was on the road.
I'm thinking about the lonely nights you spent alone, wondering where I was and how things were going. I'm thinking of all the times I thought of calling you just to say hello and somehow didn't get around to. I'm thinking of the peace of mind I had knowing that you were at home with the kids waiting for me.
I was proud of you when I pulled into the yard and saw you sleeping in the car waiting for me. whether it was two in the morning or two in the afternoon you always looked like a movie star to me. You're beautiful, you know. Iguess I haven't told you that lately, but you are.
I made lots of mistakes in my life, but if I only ever made one good decision, it was when I asked you to marry me. You never could understand what it was that kept me trucking. I couldn't either, but it was my way of life and you stuck wih me. Good times, bad times, you were always there. I love you, sweatheart, and I love the kids.
My body hurts but my heart hurts even more. You won't be here when I end this trip. For the forst time since we've been together, I'm really alone and it scares me. I need you so badly, and I know it's too late.
It's funny I guess, but what I have now is the truck. This damened truck that ruled over lives for so long. This twisted hunk of steel that I lived in and with for so many years. But, it can't return my love. Only you can do that.
You're a thousnad miles away but I feel you here with me. I can see your face and feel your love and I'm scared to make the final run alone.
Tell the kids that I love them very much and don't let the boys drive any truck for a living.
I guess that's about it, honey. My God, but I love you very much. Take care of yourself and always remember that I loved you more than anything in my life. I just forgot to tell you.
I love you.
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