汉英翻译讲座(12)

七、物化了的生命硬如岩石，而那些看似无价值的却永葆着神韵和空灵。
1/ The materialized life is as hard as a rock, which the seemingly worthless life always keeps its freshness and flexibility.
2/ Materialized life is as rigid as a rock, while those apparently valueless things keep spirit and life.
3/ Life, when petrified by material desires, is as callous as stone, while those seemingly worthless things always remain fresh and full of spirit.
对汉译英译文的“过简”现象，可以有两种分析：一、因译文失之过简而无法将汉语原句的意思充分清晰地加以传递，致使native speaker不知所云，甚至导致误解。二、英译不符合英语的表达习惯，英语味欠缺，艰涩生硬，缺乏美感。
解决英语译文“过简”问题，首先要防止出现第一种情况。以上“物化了的生命硬如岩石”的英译就是一例，值得一议。译1和译2几乎如出一辙，系直译。而native speakers却难以理解其中的比喻：as hard as a rock / as rigid as a rock，读之，如坐云雾。因为，英语则一种逻辑性很强的语言，每个单词、每个词组都必须有个明确的交代，不容含糊。译3虽然在措辞上“繁”了些，但是，却准确地传递了汉语原句所含的赅意。尤其是其中的两个词（petrify / callous）用得准确传神！
八、人生旅途上，有人背负着名利急急奔走，有人回归自然，飘逸而行。
1/ On the road of life, some run hurriedly with the burden of fame and interests on their shoulder, while others come back to the nature and lead an easy and free life.
2/ On the road of life, some one is burdened with fame and interests and goes in a hurry; some one returns to the nature and walks elegantly.
3/ In their journey through life, some people hurry on with a heavy heart in pursuit of fame and gain, while others go with an easy grace, enjoying themselves in harmony with nature.
是否可以得出这样的结论：所谓英译过简者，十之八九为作表层转换的直译。“有人背负着名利急急奔走”的英译便是一例。译1和译2几乎如出一辙：some run hurriedly with the burden of fame and interests on their shoulder / some one is burdened with fame and interests and goes in a hurry.
同样，译1和译2对“回归自然”也作了简单的表层转换（come back to the nature / returns to the nature）。这里的“回归自然”与“背负着名利急急奔走”存在着潜在的比照。尤其是“自然”二字，有多种解释，应谨慎揣摩，这里的“自然”并非指“自然界”（nature / natural world），而是指“任其自然地发展；不刻意干预”（naturally / in the ordinary and natural course of events / in harmony with nature）。译3的理解在正确的，其英译（while others go with an easy grace, enjoying themselves in harmony with nature）搭准了原句的脉搏。
总之，汉译英的“由简入繁”不仅仅是一个表达习惯的问题，而折射了诸多深层次的问题，比如中西文化之异，中西思维之异，以及汉语和英语各自具有的特色。若能从宏观上对这些问题有所把握，在汉译英的过程中，心中会更有底，下笔也会有神。