|
让女人反胃的8大男性醉后恶习
1. Pee. Pee Anywhere.
1、尿，到处撒尿
We know you have Oedipal impulses, but peeing on the street/in a plant/off a balcony/your pants/in the corner of our bedroom* makes us feel like your mother in the absolute least appealing way possible.
我们知道你们都有恋母情结，在街上/树根/阳台外/你的裤子上/我们卧室的角落*这些地方撒尿确实能让我们觉得是你妈，不过是最不性感的那种时刻。
*Yup, really happened to a friend of mine.
是滴，这是发生在我朋友身上的真事。
2. Drunk Face
2、醉脸
One eye closed, one eye kind of open, and your entire face really, really, sweaty. Not your best look, bud.
一眼闭一眼眯，整个脸都糊满了汗。堪称你最丑的时刻了，大哥。
3. Not Being Able To Walk Five Feet Without Stopping To Say Something Declarative
3、每走几步就要说几句傻话
Guys have this thing where after a certain amount of drinks, they think they channel John Locke and literally cannot walk down the street without stopping, physically stopping to spout something brilliant and unintelligible.
男人多喝几杯之后就会这样，觉得自己成了好像成了约翰·洛克（哲学家），在街边每走几步就一定要停下来说些不知所云的话。
I think I speak for all women here when I say: "NO ONE KNOWS WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT, CAN YOU PLEASE JUST KEEP WALKING?"
我觉得这句话是所有女性的心声：“没人知道你在讲什么，你就不能安安静静地走吗？”
4. Try To Dance
4、试图跳舞
Some guys need a drink in them before they feel comfortable enough to let go of inhibitions and dance. That's fine -- lots of girls need that, too.
有的男人要喝一杯才能能打开心防自在地跳舞。这无可厚非，很多女孩也需要。
But a few too many drinks, and suddenly guys act like they're extras on Step Up 4. Except they are not extras on Step Up 4, they're drunk guys, trying to dance.
不过喝得太多了，男人就突然觉得自己是舞神，能去《舞出一片天4》里露一手了。可惜他们并不是电影里的舞者，他们只是试着跳舞的醉汉罢了。
5. Alcoholic Sweat
5、酒精汗
Sweat that smells like alcohol is like, ten times worse than normal sweat. Also, you're imbibing so much that it's literally being secreted out of your pores? Go home!
有酒精味道的汗水比普通的汗要难闻十倍。你也喝太多了吧，连毛孔都开始渗出酒精了。回家吧！
6. Have Trouble Getting It Up
6、无法坚挺
Not getting it up because you have issues with that sometimes? Totally fine, and nothing to be ashamed of!
时不时有些不能坚挺的情况？这不算什么，没什么好丢脸的。
Not getting it up because you drank too much? You don't know what you're missing, fool.
可因为喝太多而站不起来？你都不知道自己错过了什么，傻瓜！
7. Decide To DJ
7、决定自己做DJ
Because suddenly, it's important that everybody listen to this really great album, it's just so amazing, listen to it! Did you hear that line? Aw man, so good. Let's listen again.
突然间，大家就一定要听一下这一伟大无比的专辑。这真是太好听了，你一定要听听。你听到那句词了吗？兄弟，太好了，再听一次吧。
8. Slap Our Asses
8、拍我们的屁股
Something about alcohol makes men brave, cocky, and a little bit sexist. Just because you've knocked a few back does NOT give you permission to slap our asses every time we make the the mistake of walking by you.
酒壮怂人胆，酒精让男人勇敢、自负而且还有点大男人。你多喝了几杯，不代表每次我们错误地决定从你身边走过时你都有权利拍打我们的屁股。
原文链接：howaboutwe
|
