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(MoneyWatch) "I don't think my colleagues listen. Any time they're silent, I just think they're loading their guns." (观察)：“我认为我的同事从未聆听过你在说什么，当他们保持沉默的时候，我想他们正在思考如何反击你。 That is the way one banking executive described listening: The period during which you are figuring out how to take out your colleagues. 一位银行经理是这样描述的——在”聆听“的这段时间内，你正在思考如何踢掉你的竞争对手。 It's a shocking but, I suspect, not unusual view of listening. And yet listening is at least as important as speaking. Yet while executives endlessly get coaching in presentation skills, very few develop their listening skills. Which could, of course, explain a lot of routine miscommunication at work. 这种看法的确令人震惊，但我怀疑，这应该不是对”聆听“的传统定义。至少，听和说是同样重要的。但是高管们却一直在演讲技巧上下功夫，很少人会去提高他们的聆听技巧。理所当然，日常工作中许多辞不达意的现象就能够解释了。
Being a world class listener isn't automatic or easy, so here are some ideas about how to develop your skills. 成为一名世界级聆听者并非自然而然亦或是一蹴而就的，因此在此罗列了一些助于提升聆听技巧的建议。 1. Promise yourself you won't speak. This is hard for some people who feel that silence makes them invisible. Strangely, I've rarely found this to be true. The less you speak, the more impact you make when you do. 承诺自己保持沉默。对于那些认为自己保持沉默就会让别人忽略自己的人来说，做到这一点的确有点勉为其难。但令人不可思议的是，这种看法往往是错误的。（反之），你说的越少，当你行动的时候，你所带来的影响就越大。 2. Listen for underlying assumptions. What is the speaker taking for granted that might or might not be true? Are those assumptions valid, fair or have they even been checked? 倾听潜在的假设。什么是演讲者理所当然地认为可能或不可能正确的？那些假设有根据，或者清楚吗？再或者有没有通过验证？ 3. Listen to rhythms and pace. If you listen to conversations as though they were music, their aural qualities will tell you a great deal about the underlying emotions. Who is tense and who is confident? Is the anger real? 聆听说话的节奏和速度。如果你想听音乐一般听别人讲话，你会从话语的听觉品质中获得（说话者）的潜在情感。谁（说话时）是紧张的，谁当时是自信的，谁又是真的生气了，（一目了然）。 4. Where are the blockages? Many people are poor at articulating their needs. They talk about what they think they need but not why. Try to hear the needs in a conversation, rather than the demands. When you understand needs, you are in a better position to deliver effectively. 关键节点在哪里？许多人清晰地表达自己需求的能力很弱。他们在交谈时往往提出他们认为 自己需要什么而不是自己为什么需要。尽量能够在交谈时听出需求，而并非请求。当你能够理解需求的时候，你将能够更加主动地在交谈中提供有效信息。 Most of the disastrous client relationships I've witnessed occur when both parties start off full of good intentions -- and then don't listen. There is always plenty of talk but very little communication. And there's always a lot of posturing. 我目睹过许多客户关系走向灾难。双方在合作伊始诚意十足，然后就陷入互不听从双方意见的怪圈。他们双方会开展许多会谈却基本上缺乏沟通，很多时候都是言不由衷。 Is listening easier than talking? I don't think so. But what I have found is that if you listen well, you always end up with something meaningful to say. That's rarely true of the rest of the room. 听真的比说更加简单么？我并不这样认为。但我发现，如果你可以做一个优秀的聆听者，你必然能够说出金玉良言。这种规律在大环境下是很少适用的。 |
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