Honesty key to dorm conflicts从复旦投毒案解读室友关系导读:近日,复旦大学投毒案得到社会广泛关注。很多人开始思考中国教育到底哪里出了问题?到底是怎样的矛盾才会导致室友相残?又该如何营造和谐友爱的寝室关系?
Li Xiongfeng and his roommates had all fallen asleep in the quiet night. But then his phone suddenly started ringing loudly and woke everybody up. One of his roommates was annoyed and Li was not happy about the disturbance either.
夜深人静,李雄峰(音译)和室友们都进入了梦乡。但突然间他的手机铃声响起,吵醒了所有人。一位室友因此恼火不已,就连李雄峰自己也很不高兴。 “I didn’t expect such a trivial matter could sour my relationship with my roommates,” said Li, 20, a sophomore law major at South China Normal University. Last week, Fudan University issued a statement regarding the preliminary police report on the poisoning of a student by his roommate that shocked the nation. “Trivial matters in daily life” were blamed for the tragedy, in which 27-year-old Huang Yang was killed. According to experts, it’s the small things that can cause serious problems for dormitory relations. As their first lesson at college, students should learn to compromise when living with their peers and be tolerant toward them. Dormitory relations are among the top concerns for students who enjoyed being the focal point of their family in high school. Only 43 percent of college students in Wuhan, which has more than 1 million college students, are happy with their dormitory relations, according to a report by Wuhan Yangtze Business University released in January. “This communal way of living is new to students, the majority of whom are single children. Many of them expect people to change for them, not the other way around,” said Tan Mali, deputy Party secretary at South China Normal University. For many students, respecting other’s property and personal space is the foundation to maintain peace in the dormitory. It can be fixed Liao Fei, 22, a senior majoring in biology at Peking University, believes that in a shared space, all roommates should help in keeping the room tidy instead of placing the burden on just one while the others do whatever they want. “Everyone hates dirty places. If you make a mess, don’t leave it for someone else to clean up. Make sure you do your fair share of dormitory chores, such as taking out the trash and recycling, and cleaning the washroom,” said Liao. No matter what, conflicts are inevitable when living with others for four years. But a conflict isn’t the end of the world. A serious talk or even just a joke can fix the problem. Luo Lisha, 22, a senior majoring in journalism at the Communication University of China, had an argument with her roommate a while ago. Instead of burying her feelings, Luo talked with her roommate and they’ve been getting along well ever since. “Being frank and letting everyone speak their mind is a great way to let off steam,” said Luo. According to Sun Jianmin, dean of the Psychology Department at Renmin University, learning to compromise around others is one of the most important lessons in life. “Does it really matter if someone’s cup was not rinsed out or if their computer was left on all night? If it bothers you a lot then bring it up, but if it’s a small thing - just let it go,” said Sun. “It’s tempting to vent your frustration on others when things start to annoy you. But it’s better to talk about it with others in a way they can accept. Being obsessed with insignificant things only creates more problems.” |
|