|
Most of us have at least one friend we consider toxic: the loser friend who
disrupts our entire world the second they step into it. We know things would be
so much easier if we cut them loose, yet we spend more time figuring out why we
stay than it would take to actually
leave. Why You Have Loser Friends The truth is, it happens for a multitude of reasons: You’ve been friends with them since you were kids. You know them so well you’re constantly justifying their
behavior. You feel guilty because they don’t have anyone else to turn
to. You feel obligated to spend time with them because they’re a mutual friend of
your BFF/spouse/family member. You’re afraid of how they’ll react if you confront them (a.k.a. more
drama). You feel it’s easier to deal with them than disrupt your lifestyle any
further. Usually though, it’s a simple case of outgrowing each other. What caused you
to “click” initially as friends no longer applies, or your lives are going in
completely different
directions. What Constitutes a Loser Friend? When I use the term “loser friend,” I don’t mean they themselves are
losers—everyone is entitled to live their life exactly how they want to—but what
they’re doing to your life is causing you to lose what you want… and you’re
letting it
happen. If you have friends who do any of the following, you need to seriously
consider their place in your life: They’re not supportive. They’re not there when you need them. They’re only there when they need you. They make you feel drained. They have no ambition. They constantly infuriate you. They expect you to drop everything when they want to do
something. They think everything is an urgent crisis. Take it from someone who watched her own life implode: if you want to be
amazing, you have to spend your time with amazing people. In order to make room
for these people, you have to leave your loser friends
behind. Why You Should Leave Your Loser Friends Behind It’s not going to be easy, but letting them go is a necessary part of
creating the life you’ve always wanted for yourself.
Otherwise: 1. They’ll hold you back from your full
potential. The biggest thing I learned from my experience with friends like these is
that you’ll never live up to your full potential if you’re constantly weighed
down by unnecessary drama and complication. In order to succeed, you need a
solid routine and a strong support system. Consider your loser friends the loose
floorboard in that support system, constantly distracting you from your
goals. 2. They’ll make you feel like crap about
yourself. When they want you to do something you don’t want to do, they’ll constantly
nag you and make you feel guilty about being who you are until you cave to their
demands. It’s an incessant, vicious cycle that won’t end until you put a stop to
it. If you don’t, get ready for a wide array of self-esteem
issues. 3. They’ll negatively impact your
reputation. You were guilted into going to that party and became your sloppy friend’s
crutch, and the dream employer you’ve wanted to work with since you were in
public school is going to know that when they’re checking out the horrific
pictures you’re tagged in on
Facebook. More than that, if you’re this easily influenced in your personal life,
they’re going to assume you won’t be able to hack it in a professional
setting. 4. They’ll bring out the worst in
you. You know all of those bad habits you’re trying to break? Your loser friends
will make it so difficult for you to build good habits you’ll constantly crack
under the pressure and eventually give up on the concept entirely. After all, if
you change for the better, your relationship with them will change for the
worse, and will work against what they need from
you. 5. They’ll dim the good things in your
life. You’ll be so focused on their drama, needs, and wants, the stress of your
friendship will cause you to lose focus on the aspects of your life that are
going well. Simply put, negativity breeds negativity—is this really how you want
your life to
be? So what are you waiting for? Leave drama to the circus and live your life
exactly how you want to, with who you want to. If you don’t decide to do so now,
your loser friends will decide for
you. |
|
|
