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Learning to
yield 爸爸教我 By C.H.Macinnes 都宁 方莉莉 译注 孙亦丽 校 I
wasn’t watching where I was going as we left the DMV. I just stared at the
little card with my picture on it. Fortunately, Dad was guiding me out the
door. “Congratulations,”
he said as we crossed the parking lot. “Think I’ll ever get to drive again? I
jumped into the driver’s seat. “Don’t count on it！ I said. All
I’d thought about for months was getting that driver’s license. In my mind, it
was the ticket to freedom. And I knew just how life would go after that. I’d be
the one taking my friends to basketball games and out for pizza. I’d be able to
listen to my music as loud as I wanted. Maybe I’d even get up the nerve to
offer Brandon Lincoln a ride home. So every evening I’d beg dad to take me driving. We had some of our best talks as I steered the mini-van up into the hills. Sometimes we talked about guys I liked or how things were going at school, or I’d try to argue with him about his rules. But we talked about deeper things, too—even stuff like the 我们从机动车辆管理处出来时， 我根本没再看脚下的路。我只是盯着那张上面有我照片的小卡片。幸好，爸爸领着我走出了大门。 我们穿过停车场时，他对我说：“祝贺你！想想还用我在开车吗？” 我一下子跳到驾驶座上，说：“您别指望了！” 几个月来， 我脑子里只想着要拿到驾照。我认为这是一张通向自由的入场券。我知道拿到驾照之后生活会变成什么样子、我会带朋友们去看篮球比赛，去吃皮萨饼；我可以在听音乐时，音量想开多大就开多大。或许，我甚至会鼓足勇气，请布兰登 林肯搭车回家。
因此，每天晚上，我都求爸爸带我去开车。驾驶者那辆小型货车驶向山丘时，我和爸爸有过一些最开心的交谈。有时我们谈论我喜欢的男孩，谈论学校里发生的事情，有时我会和他争辩他定的那些规则。但是我们也谈论一些深层次的东西，甚至会谈到诸如未 future and
eternity. It always surprised me how much he knew about life. Still, nothing
seemed as important to me then as that license. I felt sure that once I got it,
I would never want another thing in my life. But as we
rounded the corner that day, I saw a familiar neon sign: Louis Fehr’s Used Cars. Suddenly, I
realized that I’d been thinking too small. What if I had my own car? Then I could
drive it anytime I wanted, not just when Dad wasn’t using his. I could put cool bumper sticker on the back and personalize it by hanging stuff on the rearview
mirror. I wouldn’t have to clean it out when I was done driving. It would be my
haven. My refuge. My … What’s on your
mind?” Dad asked. “You’ve been stopped at this green light for quite a while.” “Oops”, I put my
foot on the gas a little too hard, and the car lurched forward. Dad covered his
eyes in mock fear. “Daddy …” I
began, doing my best puppy dog eyes. Dad groaned. He
knew that look. “I was just
thinking …life would be a 来和来世这类问题。我始终觉得惊奇，爸爸对生活怎么动的那么多。 不过， 那是似乎没有什么东西比驾照对我更重要。我坚信， 一旦拿到驾照， 我生活中就再也不需要别的什么东西了。 但是， 那天我们转过街角是， 我看到了熟悉的霓虹灯招牌——路易斯·富尔二手车行。 突然，我意识到自己过去想的太孩子气了。 如果我自己有车将会怎样呢？ 那是我就可以想什么时候开就什么时候开，不必等爸爸不用车时再开。我可以在后面的保险杠上贴上很酷的标示物，并在后视镜上挂上显示个性的饰物。我不必在开完后把车弄得干干净净。它将是我的避风港，我的庇护所，我的…… “你在想什么呢？”爸爸问，“你已经在绿灯前停了好一会儿了。” “喔，”我用脚一踩油门，因为用力有点过猛，汽车突然冲向前去。爸爸用手捂住了眼睛，装出害怕的样子来。 “爸爸”我开始用最讨人喜欢的乞求眼神望着他说。 爸爸哼了一声。他很熟悉那种神情。 “我只是在想……如果我能自己 lot easier for everyone if I had my own
car.” “You
just flew past that yield sign,” Dad said. “Remember? That means you have to wait and look around before you pull into the intersection.” I
slammed on the brakes, just in time to avoid hitting a truck. “I
know what yielding is,” I said, irritated. “But like I was saying …” Dad frowned.
“Do you really think you’re ready for a car?” he asked. “You’ve still got a lot
to learn about driving.” “I’m
a good driver, Dad！” “you’re
a new driver, Honey,” he said. “Just means you could use some practice.” “But
dad, think of all the time you could save if you didn’t have to take me places.
You’d be free to just relax on the couch after work and watch the game.” My
speech wasn’t achieving the desired effect. Instead, Dad was laughing so hard,
his eyes watered. “Come
on, Dad. It would make me so happy!” Dad
rubbed my shoulder.” I know it would,” he said. “Maybe we could look at the used car lots sometime.” Destination: Nowhere For
the next few months, I begged 有部车，生活对每个人就容易得多了。” “你刚疾驶过让路标志，”爸爸说，“记得吗？那个标志意味着你得等待，先左右看看，再驶进交叉路口。”
我猛踩刹车，才及时避免了和一辆卡车相撞。 “我知道什么是让路，”我气恼地说，“但是正如我刚才所说……” 爸爸皱了皱眉，问道：“你真觉得你已经具备条件，可以拥有一部车了吗？关于开车，你还有很多要学的呢。” “我已经开得很好了，爸爸！” “你是一个新司机，宝贝，”他说，“这仅仅意味着你可以利用一段时间练习开车了。” “可是，爸爸，想象你不必开车带我到出去，这可以节省你多少时间呀。下班后，你就可以在沙发上放松一下和看比赛了。” 我的话并没有达到预期的效果，相反，爸爸笑得很厉害，眼泪流都出来了。 “行了，爸爸，买车会让我非常高兴的！” 爸爸摸摸我的肩膀，说：“我知道会的。或许我们可以找个时间去旧车市场看看。” 目的地：不存在的地方 其后的几个月里，我求他在我们 him to stop at every lot we passed. I
always fixated on one car, realizing it had to be something affordable and
practical for dad to like it. At first, every test drive was hopeful. I started
getting frustrated. Dad rejected every car we saw. Despite my pleading, the
answer was always “no”. Months
passed. My birthday came and went, and so did Christmas. Sooner or later, each
of my friends came driving by with a car to show off. I still had nothing. The
last straw was the day we stopped at Louis Fehr’s used car lot. I was getting desperate,
and I spotted a silver car with a chipping orange and black stripe on the side.
It was probably older than I was, but it was dirt cheap. Maybe Dad would
finally go for this one. I was about to call him over when a salesman in a
leisure suit sauntered up. “Looks
like you picked a winner there,” he said, patting me on the back. “My name’s Louis
Four. Between you and me, I can’t believe this one hasn’t sold yet. It’s a
steal!” “Yeah,”
I said. “But try telling that to my dad!” Mr. Fuhr
winked. “Stick with me，” 经过的每一个旧车市场停一下。我常常会喜欢上一部车，心里想着这车得是爸爸负担得起的和他确实喜欢的。起初，每一次试车都很有希望。我常常想象第一次开着车去朋友家时，会给他们留下什么样的印象。但是在几周后的第七八次试车后，我开始变得沮丧了。爸爸拒绝了我们看的每一部车。尽管我不断乞求，回答总是“不行”。 几个月过去了。我的生日到了，又过了；圣诞节也这样到了，又过了。我的每一个朋友或早或晚都开着车来炫耀过。我依然一无所有。 使我再也忍不下去的是我们停在路易斯·富尔二手车行的那天。我有点不顾一切了。我发现一辆银灰色的车，车身一侧有一道橙色和褐色的划痕，车铃大概比我的年龄都大，但是便宜极了。或许爸爸最终会选这部车的。我正要叫他过来，突然一个身着休闲服的推销员踱步而来。
“看来你挑了一部好车，”他说这在我的背上拍了拍，“我是路易斯·富尔。我都不能相信这车还没卖出去，这话就你知我知。多么便宜阿！”
“没错，”我说，“不过你得去跟我爸说。” 富尔先生冲我眨眨眼，说“听我的， he said. “I live to make young drivers’
dreams come true.” There was something a little creepy
about Louis Fuhr----I couldn’t put my fingers on it. But he managed to talk
into a test drive, so I knew I had to trust him. Mr. Fuhr
coughed loudly, attempting to cover the grinding noise as I tried to start the ignition. “Now, this here’s a great little car,”
he said, when it finally roared to life. In the rearview mirror I could see Dad raise his eyebrows. I knew he was examining
the stuffing that was bursting out of the ripped vinyl upholstery. “How many miles on it?” he asked. Mr. Fuhr winked at me again. “This baby’s
got another hundred-thousand miles left on her,” he said. Meanwhile, I drove as carefully as I could,
gently pumping the brakes so Dad wouldn’t notice how touchy they were. “Well?” Mr. Fuhr asked as we pulled back
into the lot. “What’d you think? “It’s great!” I said, looking around the
interior once more for emphasis. “I really like it, daddy!” But Dad didn’t even notice my pleading 我活着就是要帮助年轻司机实现梦想的。” 路易斯·富尔有些怪异----究竟是什么，我说不出来。但是，他设法说服了爸爸试试车，所以我觉得应该相信他。
我试着点火时富尔先生大声咳嗽，试图掩盖汽车发出的刺耳噪声。
引擎终于隆隆的发动了，富尔先生说：“瞧， 一辆棒极了的小轿车归你了。” 通过后视镜，
我可以看到爸爸抬了抬眉毛。我知道他正在检查从裂开的塑料椅套中漏出来的填充物。
“这车行驶了多少英里？”他问道。 富尔先生又朝我眨眨眼。“这宝贝还能再走个10万英里呢，”他说。
与此同时，我尽量小心翼翼地开车，轻轻地踩刹车，这样爸爸就不会发现刹车多么不好使了。
“行吗？你们觉得怎么样？”我们开回到停车场时，富尔先生问。 “棒极了！”我说，再一次往车里四周看了看以示强调。“我真的喜欢它，爸爸！” 可是，爸爸根本不注意我祈求的眼神。 eyes. Instead, he looked right at the
salesman and said, “this car is all
wrong for us.” “Now 'Dad ’,” Mr. Fuhr began, bearing a
set of teeth too shiny to be real, “didn’t you see this gal’s eyes light up? Let’s
go in and talk. She could be driving it off the lot today.” “My daughter won’t be driving this car
anywhere,” Dad said. “She deserves something better.” He turned and walked toward our
mini-van, but I didn’t follow. “See?” I said. “He gets my hopes up, and
then he crushes them every time!” Louis Fuhr shook his head. “It’s so sad,”
he said. “I’ll bet the two of you had a great relationship once. “ “We did,”I told him, thinking back to my
driving lessons. “ I’ve seen this happen a million times,”
he sighed. “One day, your dad gives you everything and the next, he leaves you
to fend for yourself.” “I don’t think it’s like that …”I began. “Trust me,” he said, glancing across the
lot at Dad. “You’re not his cute little angel any-more. If you want anything out
of life, you’ve gotta take matters into your own hands.” Taking
the Wheel 相反，他直接看着推销员说：“这车根本不是我们想要的。”
富尔先生说：“好了'爸爸’， 您没看见这女孩儿的眼睛发亮了吗？我们进去谈谈吧。她今天就可以把车开走。“ 他说话时漏出的一副牙齿太亮了，不像是真的。 “我女儿不会开这辆车去任何地方，”爸爸说，“她应该得到一辆更好的。”
他转身走向我们的小货车，但我没有跟着。 “看见了吗？” 我说，“他让我燃起希望，然后每次都把希望破灭！” 路易斯·富尔摇了摇头， 说：“真遗憾， 我敢打赌你们俩曾经关系很好的。” “没错，”我告诉他， 回想起我练习开车的时光。 他叹息着说：“我看见过这类情况发生过无数次。某一天，你爸爸什么都给你，而第二天， 他又让你自谋生路。”
“我觉得事情并不是那样的……”我说。 他的视线穿过停车场望着爸爸，说：“相信我。你不再是她娇小可爱的小天使了。如果你生活中需要什么东西，你得自己作主。” 把好方向 Days later, after my anger at Dad had
faded, I could still hear Louis Fuhr’s words in the back of my mind. The next
week, I found myself applying for a job at Pizza de Perez and asking for all
the hours I could get. “I guess you’re old enough to make some of
your own decisions,” Dad said. His wrinkled forehead told me that the whole
situation made him sad. Good, I thought. Now you know how I feel! It wasn’t long, though, before my grades
started slipping and I found myself dozing off in class. I never had any time
with my friends anymore either. Yeah, I was making money. But this decision was
costing me. One night a few months later, I came
home to find Dad waiting up for me. “Let’s talk,” he said. “You’re killing
yourself for a piece of machinery. Is it really worth it?” I collapsed on the couch. “I don’t know,” I said, rubbing my eyes.
“I just want a car so much!” “What makes you think I won’t get you one?”
he asked. “Dad! It’s been months since I got my
license!” I was so tired and frustrated, I thought I might cry. “I’ve given up
hope. It’s like Louis Fuhr said: 几天以后，我对爸爸的怒气消退了，但是我仍能听到路易斯·富尔的话在我脑中回响。下一周，我到佩雷斯皮萨饼店求职，要求得到尽可能多的打工小时。
爸爸说：“我觉得你已经长大到足能自己作些决定了。”他那满布皱纹的额头使我明白了整个情况让他很伤心。很好，我心里想，现在你知道我的感受了吧！ 不过没多久我的成绩开始下滑，有时上课还打瞌睡。我再也没有时间和朋友们在一起了。是的， 我是在赚钱，但是这个决定让我付出了代价。
几个月后的一天晚上， 我回家时发现爸爸在等我。 他说：“我们谈谈吧。你是为了一辆汽车在拼命，真的值得吗？”
我一下子倒在沙发上。 “我不知道。”我边说边揉眼睛，“我就是很想要一部车！” “什么使你认为我不会给你买呢？”他问道。 “爸爸！我拿到驾照已经好几个月了!”我又累又失望， 觉得自己要哭了。 路易斯·富尔说得对：有时，人得自立。”
sometimes, you’ve gotta fend for
yourself.” “The car salesman?” Dad asked, frowning.
“Is that why you got this job? Because he told you I wouldn’t take care of
you?” “Well…yeah.” I immediately wished I
could swallow the words. Tears were dangling precariously in the corners of Dad’s
eyes. “I was just so tired of waiting!” Dad sighed. “Come with me ,” he said. “I
want to show you something.” I followed him to the garage, and he
flipped on the light. There, parked in the spot usually occupied by the van,
was a funky silver-blue car topped with a big, red bow. “I’ve been looking at cars almost every
day since you got your license,” he told me. “I’ve gone to car lots, checked
the classifieds. I even went to a few auctions.” Too stunned to speak, I ran my fingers
across the shiny hood. I could smell the cream-colored leather interior and
imagined that this car, probably German, had once been driven by someone wealthy.
Now, though it was older, it was still in perfect condition. It was big enough
to hold my friends but
“那个汽车推销员？”爸爸皱着眉头 问道，“你就是因为那个找了份工作？因为他告诉你说我不会管你了？”
“嗯……是的。”我立刻恨不得收回说的话。眼泪在爸爸的眼角里打转，快 要掉下来了。“我就是等厌了！”
爸爸叹了口气。“跟我来，”他说，“我要给你看样东西。” 我跟着他来到车库， 他猛然打开灯。那儿，在通常停那辆货车的地方，是一辆时髦的银蓝色汽车，车头上系着一个大大的红色蝴蝶结。
“你拿到驾照以来我几乎每天都在看车。”他告诉我，“我去了许多车市，查了分类广告。我甚至还去过几家拍卖行。”
我急切地用手指抚摸着闪亮的发动机盖，惊奇地说不出话来。我能闻到奶白色的车内皮饰散发的气味，想象着这部车，大概是德国造，曾经被一个有钱人开过。现在， 它虽然已经旧了，但车况仍然完好。它很大，足够装下我的朋友，又有小到可当跑车用 。从各方面来说，它都好极了。 small enough to be sporty. In every way,
it was a classic. “Why do you have so little faith in me?”
Dad asked, shaking his head. “Why do you doubt that I want what’s best for you?
Look at this car. Doesn’t it fit your needs and personality perfectly?” Dad opened the driver’s door and
motioned for me to sit. I sunk into the soft leather and ran my hands across
the shiny chrome knobs on the dashboard. No one I knew had a car this cool. “It wasn’t the right time before,” Dad went
on. “I mean, look at your friends. They got cars fast, right? But Allison
totaled hers, and Lance smashed his front end by running into a tree. Why?” 'Because they didn’t really know how to
drive yet,” I said. “Right. And look at Scott, Deb and Leslie.
They’re pouring all the money from their after-school jobs into repairs.”
“Because they got junky cars,” I said, finishing
his thought. “Exactly,” Dad said, grinning. “I love
to see your face when I give you an unexpected gift.” The look in Dad’s eyes at that moment
made me realize how wrong I’d been
“为什么你对我这么没信心呢？”爸爸一边问， 一边摇着头，“我要给你最好的，对此你为什么要怀疑呢？看看这辆车，它不是很合适你的需要和个性吗？” 爸爸打开驾驶室的门，示意我坐进去。我陷进柔软的皮椅中，用手抚摸着仪表板上闪亮的铬制皮钮。我认识的人中谁也没有这么酷的车。
“以前只是时机未到，”爸爸接着说， “我是说，看看你的朋友么们。他们很快就有了车，对吧？但是阿利森把他的车彻底毁坏了，兰斯撞到树上，车头都撞坏了。为什么？” “因为他们还不真正知道怎么开，”我说。 “对了。再看看斯科特、德布和莱斯莉。他们放学后打工挣来的钱都扔进修车中了。”
“因为他们买的车太破了，”我替他说出了他想说的话。 “完全正确，”他咧着嘴笑着说，“我很喜欢看你收到我送给你的意外礼物时的表情。” 那一刻爸爸的眼神让我意识到我误解他有多深。即使在我表现得自私和不 about him. I still meant the world to
him, even after I’d been selfish and immature. “I know it’s kind of late, Dad,” I said,
“but we really haven’t talked in a while. There are some things I need to say.” “Why don’t we go for a quick drive then?”
he said. “You read my mind,” I told him, starting
the engine. I began my apology as we pulled out of the driveway, but he never let me finish. By the end of the block, we were both laughing, just like old times. 成熟之后，我仍是他的一切。 “我知道现在有点晚了，爸，”我说，“但是， 我们真的有段时间没有好好谈谈了。有些事我想和你说说。” 他说：“那我们干嘛不赶紧开车出去转转呢？” “我正是这么想的，”说着我就发动了汽车。 当我们开车上路后， 我开始向爸爸道歉，但他从不让我把话谈完。快驶出街区时，我们俩都大笑起来，就像从前一样。
2014.9.7
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