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年轻人,你可能还没意识到这些想法其实都是错的

 汕头能率 2015-07-25

What are the most common life mistakes young people make?
年轻人在生活中常犯的错误有哪些?

James Altucher

史努比说他想当Twitter的CEO,这听起来挺可笑的吧,但说不定是件靠谱的事儿。

让我用一秒钟来告诉你为什么。

但是首先来谈谈年轻人在生活中常犯的错误:

  • 有想法

你可能有哪些想法?全球变暖?好吧,如果你要改变世界,祝你好运。战争?好吧,如果你要阻止游说业为2000亿美元的辩护演化成战争,祝你好运。

她(他)应该对我更好些的!再次…祝你好运。

人们对我说:“如果每个人都想得和你一样的话,世界将会变得一团糟。”

哦是吗?那我可以用一个字回答他(这个字将会破坏我后面关于维护自我的陈述)。

这个字是——粪

1890年,450万吨的粪被撒在曼哈顿的大街上,这些粪来自载着人们去工作的马。

那曾是当时最大的环境问题。报纸的头条写道:“到1950年,纽约城要被马粪埋啦!”

你的看法对于这个问题并没有什么卵用。纽约城的居民有着上千条看法,都没能解决这个问题。

底特律热爱机械的人们发明了叫做汽车的东西。

问题得以解决。

做你今天想做的事。接受结果。你越接受,越能得到好的结果。

你解决世界问题的方法就是你解决自己的问题。相信我。

  • 你生来就是做一些特别的的事的

你知道地球上有870万不同的物种。你认为这些物种中数万亿的生物都是由于特殊的目的才出现的地球上的?就像他们为了成为歌剧演唱家,或是为了解开某个数学难题?

你的身体里目前存活着1000种不同的物种(我指的是物种,并非多达1000万的个体器官)。你的嘴里就有80个物种,所以你还是闭嘴吧。

我们身体中最后一个进化的部分是我们的前额叶皮质(译者注:前额叶皮质通常被称为脑部的命令和控制中心。决策和自控等较高层次思考就在这里进行。),它使我们能够适应于不同的环境。其他物种是没有前额叶皮质的。

前额叶皮质能让我们从炎热的非洲迁移到寒冷的阿拉斯加,或者是这两地之间的任何地方。但也是前额叶皮质让我们认为我们有特殊的目标。

我们特有的小小的个人目标会为我们赢得嘉奖和称赞,让我们感觉良好。

其实不然。

但如果你年轻的时候这样想我是可以理解的。

所以我们得出了一个适用于任何年龄的结论:有三四个特长或者乐善好施。

接着找到这些爱好的交叉领域。

然后在这个交叉领域成为世界上最棒的。这样你就可以假装去完成你的特别目标。

我说的“有特长”并非是带有一定目的地练习一万小时。也许是一千小时,甚至更少。

如果你有5个特长,那你就是世界上唯一一个投入1000小时到这些特长的交叉领域之中的人。

现在你在这一方面是世界上最棒的了。

  • 谈论

你真的不必喋喋不休。

一个人平均每天说一万个单词。你可以说五千个,或者啥都不说。

前几天我试着一整天都不说话。这挺难的。但是当我重新开始说话的时候,那感觉简直妙不可言。我无比珍惜从我嘴里蹦出来的每一个词。

但是当你年轻无知的时候,少说话。

比如你19岁,你想谈谈你人际关系中的地位问题。

你才19岁,哪来的什么地位。

你造吗?即使你50岁了你都不需要谈论地位。好好对待他人,你就会有很高的地位。

如果你打了与你同居的人,你的地位不会有多高。喋喋不休是没有卵用的。

这点对大多数事情都适用。

听我一句吧。

或者更好的是,只是倾听。

  • 你没有职业

平均每个人有14份职业,这一数字可能还在增长。

我的职业有:学者,程序猿,作家,网络连续剧编剧,一家网络设计公司的CEO,当日交易员,对冲基金经理(译者注:采用对冲交易手段的基金称为对冲基金(hedge fund)也称避险基金或套期保值基金。),金融作家,风投人,小说家,演说家,网络企业家(曾开发过一个知名网站),交易员,研究提升自我的博主和小说作者,播客,以及一些我还是不说为好的职业,因为这些职业比较尴尬,可能给我带来法律纠纷。

年轻人会说:“我不知道我长大后能干什么。”或者:“我想成为一名医生。”

这两句话99%都是错的。

几周前我收到一封邮件:“我是一名护士,我有一笔21万美元的学生贷款要还,现在我甚至都不想当护士了,我该怎么办?”

我不知道。你可能完了。

  • 我需要X才能得到Y

“我得长得好看(或是有一份好工作)才能找到男(女)朋友。”
“我得先有一百万美元才能写一本小说,才能放松放松。”
“我得环游环游世界才能获得人生经历。”
“我父母说什么我就得做什么。”
“我得去健身房才能变得健康。”

这是很多人没有认识到的现实。

有很多路通向那神秘的“Y”。别假设你认识这些路。

我前几天告诉我女儿一些事。我说:“你知道我总是说的那句话吗?”

她说:“知道。‘总是存在一个好的理由和一个真实的理由。”

“好吧,那我再告诉你另外一个。

‘处处有后门。’”

“那是什么意思,”她问。我们当时正在华盛顿广场公园漫步。她很羡慕地看着那些经过的大学生,我想她也想成为一名大学生。

“你不知道它什么意思也没关系,”我说。“我没法解释,只是不要假设前门是你得到想要的东西的唯一一条路。”

现在史努比说他想成为Twitter的CEO。

这是不可能的。但是他说他能做到。也许吧,谁知道呢?

我敢肯定他的一生说过1000件可笑的事。但是你造吗?其中的1%发生过,并且使他的人生大不同。

我们这些人没说过这些可笑的事。所以没有可笑或者精彩的事发生在我们身上。

  • 如果你不这样做,不好的事情就会发生

“如果我不上大学,我就找不到工作。”
“如果我没有房子,我就没有立足之地。我就会在房租上浪费钱。”
“如果我没有钱,我就什么东西都不能买了。人们就不喜欢我了。”

社会的力量是强大的。我们每天接受到2500条媒体消息,告诉我们哪些事应该做,哪些不应该。

这2500条消息都是虚假的。我怎么知道的?因为如果它们是正确的,人们不必付钱来告诉你这些消息。

他们知道这些消息都是虚假的,所以他们付钱来告诉你这些消息。

如果你相信这些消息,你觉得自己能参军了,然后你有两个选择A选择参战,B选择同时远足和学习编程。

然而你不能。

(真正的军队是这样的)

别让媒体消息左右你的大脑。

别让媒体消息预测未来。因为它们预测的是假的未来。

  • 你不能离开

年轻人觉得他们不能离开。

我曾多少次因为害怕离开而多用一年时间维持一段关系,待在一座城市,一个岗位或者学校。

我害怕我的决定会真正地伤害某些人。

如果你不开心或者你想尝试一些新的事情,你可以拍拍屁股立马走人。

  • 你必须为自己辩解

在接下来的60年里,许多人都会恨你。

事实上,你试着帮助越多的人,恨你的人就会越多。我不知道这条法则为何存在,但它确实存在。

你每帮助十个人,就会有一个人恨你。这时你就想辩解,想解释,想争论,想反驳。

你不能改变恨你的人的想法。无论如何,他们都是要恨你的。他们会在你的脑子里徘徊,让你一醒来就想起他们。

在脑海中删除他们。删除他们的评论,他们的邮件,他们和你的关联,他们与你的任何接触。你不能改变他们。你能做的是改变自己,对他们漠不关心。

恨你的人越多就意味着爱你的是恨你的人的十倍,只是他们没有说过爱你。

/-/-/-

当他们冒犯你的时候,不要辩解。

/-/-/-

别忘了一点:

未来的你由现在的你主导。只有你。

你今天做的事会对你未来发生的事产生直接影响。

我曾赚过很多钱然后不幸地丢了它们,我害怕过,抑郁过,被欺骗过,逃避过,受伤过,哭泣过,我还自杀过。

这些都无益于未来的我。

在我处于最低谷和最黑暗的时刻我是怎么做的呢。那时安眠药就在我的眼前,当我的孩子熟睡时我却辗转反侧,内心处于恐慌中无法入眠。

但是我每天都会散步。

我不会再与我感觉不善的人交往。这对我来说非常痛苦。但是要比濒死和辩解好点。

我会多与友善的人交往。

我开始每天阅读。只有60%的人会在大学毕业后重新捧起书本。如果你属于那60%,你就比每个人都遥遥领先了100倍。(译者注:根据下图我分析作者这里原文的数字写错了,为了方便理解,就改了数字。)

图片翻译:
关于阅读的惊人事实
33%的高中毕业生在他们的余生不会再读书,42%的大学毕业生在毕业后不会再读书,57%的新书没有被读完,70%的美国成年人近五年没有进过书店,80%的美国家庭在去年没有买过或读过一本书,孩子读的书越多,越能理解他人的情感,每天读一小时某一领域的书,会使你在七年后成为国际专家。

我开始每天写下十条想法,然后我把这些想法告诉人们,我不期待他们有什么反馈,我只希望这些想法能够帮助他们。

我努力使自己感恩拥有的每件东西。感恩我有两条手臂,两个女儿,一个朋友,慢慢地两个朋友,然后三个。

你越懂得感恩,你越能收获值得感恩的东西。

这样做,我所有年少时犯下的错误都得到了改正。


点击这里直接查看「英文版」

James Altucher


Snoop Dogg says he wants to be CEO of Twitter. This sounds ridiculous but maybe it isn't.


I'll tell you why in a second.

But first: common life mistakes young people make:

- HAVE AN OPINION

What opinion can you possibly have? Global warming? Ok, good luck changing the world. War? Ok, good luck stopping the $200 billion defense lobbying industry from having war.

She/He should treat me better! Again...good luck.

People say to me, 'if everyone thought like you then the world would be a mess.'

Oh really? I have one word to say back (which breaks my later statement about defending myself).

'Manure'

4.5 million tons of manure were being dropped on the streets of Manhattan in 1890, EVERY YEAR, by horses carrying people to work.

That was the big environmental problem of the day. 'NYC will be buried in horse manure by 1950!' screamed the headlines.

It doesn't matter what your opinion about this was. None of the people living in NY solved the problem despite the 1000s of opinions.

People with passion for mechanics in Detroit made something called a car.

Problem solved.

Do what YOU love to do today. Surrender to the results. The more you surrender, the more results there will be.

The way you solve the world's problems is to solve your problems. Then trust.

-THERE IS SOMETHING SPECIAL YOU ARE HERE TO DO

You realize there are 8.7 million different species on the planet. Do you think the trillions of members of all of them were put on this Earth with a special purpose? Like they have to be an opera singer. Or solve a hard math problem?

There's 1000 different species (species, not individual organisms, which are around 10,000,000) living on your body right now. 80 in your mouth. So you better shut up.

The last part of our body to evolve was our pre-frontal cortex, which allows us to adapt to different environments. No other species has one.

This let us move from hot Africa to cold Alaska and every place in between.
But it also is the part of our body that makes us think we have a special purpose.

Our own unique little, private purpose which will win us awards and acclaim and make us feel better.

We don't.

But I understand you feel that way if you are young.

So here's the solution and it works and can be applied at any age: get good at three or four or give things.

Then find the intersection.

Then become the best in the world at the intersection. That's how you can pretend to do your special purpose.

When I say 'get good' it doesn't mean 10,000 hours of practice with intent.
Maybe it means 1000 hours. Or even less.

Then if you get good at 5 things you've now the only one in the world who has put 1000s of hours into the intersection.

Now you're the best in the world at that.

- TALKING

You really don't have to talk as much as you do.

The average human says 10,000 words a day. Maybe cut that in half. Or say nothing.

I tried saying nothing for a whole day the other day. It's hard. But it felt like magic when I finally spoke again. I valued every word that came out of my mouth.

But try to talk less when you're young and know nothing.

Like when you're 19 years old and you want to talk about the status of your relationship.

There is no status. You're 19.

Guess what. Even if you're 50 you don't need to talk about it. Treat the other person nice. Then your status will be good.

If you hit the person you are living with then your status won't be good.
Talking won't do anything.

This holds for most things.

Listen to me.

Or better yet, just listen.

-YOU HAVE NO CAREER

The average person has 14 careers. And that number is probably going up.

My careers have been: academia, computer programmer, writer, 'web series creator', CEO of a web design company, day trader, hedge fund manager, writer about finance, venture capitalist, book writer, speaker, internet entrepreneur (made a website that got popular), deal maker, self-improvement blogger and book writer, podcaster, and a few more I'd rather not say because they are either horribly embarrassing or might get me into legal trouble.

Young people say, 'I don't know what I want to do when I grow up.' Or 'I want to be a doctor'.

These two statements have a 99% chance of being wrong.

I got an email a few weeks ago: 'I'm a nurse and I have $210,000 in student loan debt and now I don't even want to be a nurse. What should I do?'

I don't know. You're probably screwed.

- I NEED X TO GET Y

'I need to look good (or have a good job), to meet a boyfriend/girlfriend.'
'I need to have a million dollars before I can write a novel and relax'.
'I need to go to travel the world to get life experience.'
'I need to do what my parents say.'
'I need to go to go a gym to get healthy'.

Here's the reality that many people don't get.

There are many paths to that mysterious 'Y'. Don't assume you know what they are.

I told my daughter something the other day. I said, 'you know that quote I always tell you?'

She said, 'Ugh. 'There's always a good reason and a real reason'.'

'Ok, I'm going to tell you another one.

'There's always a back door.' '

'What does that even mean,' she said. We were walking around Washington Square Park. She was looking with envy at all the college students walking around. I think she wants to be one.

'It's ok if you don't know what it means,' I said. 'I can't explain it. Just don't assume the front door is the only way to enter something you want.'

Right now Snoop Dogg is saying he wants to be the CEO of Twitter.

That's never going to happen. But he can say it can. And then maybe it will. Who knows?

I'm sure he's said 1000 ridiculous things in his life. And you know what? 1% of them have happened and have created an amazing life for him.

The rest of us don't say any of these ridiculous things. So nothing ridiculous and amazing happens to us.

- IF I DON'T DO THIS THEN BAD THINGS WILL HAPPEN

'If I don't go to college I can't get a job'
'If I don't get a house, I won't have roots. I'll waste money on rent.'
'If I don't have money, I won't be able to buy anything. People won't like me.'

Society is very powerful. We get 2500 media messages a day telling us our Dos and our Dont's.

All 2500 of those message are wrong. How do I know? Because people wouldn't have to pay to show you those messages if they are right.

They know the messages are wrong so they pay to put them in front of you.

If you believe the messages then you would think you can join the army, and either A) choose to go to war or B) go hiking and learn computer programming at the same time.

You can't.


(the real army)

Don't let the media messages program your brain.

Don't let the media messages predict the future. Because it's a fake future.

- YOU CAN'T LEAVE

Young people think they can't leave.

How many times did I spend an extra year in a relationship, or a city, or a job, or a school, because I was afraid to leave.

Afraid I had the power to truly hurt someone with my decision.

You can get up and leave right now if you are not happy or if you want to do something new.

- YOU HAVE TO DEFEND

In the next 60 years, a lot of people are going to hate you.

In fact, the more people you try to help, the more people will hate you. I don't know why this rule exists but it does.

For every ten people you help, one person will hate you. And you will want to defend, to explain, to argue, to respond back.

You can't change their mind. They are going to hate you no matter what. They are going to try and get in your head so you wake up thinking about them.

Delete them. Delete their comments, their emails, their connections to you, any contact you have with them. You can't change them. You can change YOU to not care.

The more haters you have, it means you will have 10 times the number of people who love you but are silent.

When they offend, don't defend.
---
Don't forget one thing:

You are the coach of your future self. You are the only coach of your future self.

Everything that happens in your future is a direct result of what you do today.

I've made a lot of money and lost it miserably and got scared and depressed and cheated and ran and hurt and cried and was suicidal.

None of that helped my future self.

Here's what did, when I was at my lowest and darkest moments. When I had the pills right in front of me. When my kids were asleep in their bedrooms and the night kept ticking away in my brain, refusing to let me sleep, refusing to stop my heart from racing in panic.

I took a walk every day.

I stopped dealing with the people who I felt bad around. This was very very painful to me. But better that then dying. Or defending.

I spent more time with the people who I felt good to be around.

I started reading every day. Only 40% of people who graduate college ever read a book again. If you are in the 60% you are 1000x ahead of everyone else.



I started writing down 10 ideas a day. Then I started sending ideas to people, without expectation back, with the hopes that the ideas would help people.

I forced myself to practice being grateful for everything I had. Two arms. Two daughters. A friend. Then two friends. Then three.

The more grateful you are, the more you attract things to be grateful for.

And by doing so, all the mistakes I made in my youth started to change.

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