6 Step guide for creepy old uncles to get younger ...

Step 1: Write a big-arse description about yourself on your homepage.

Step 2: Put up albums of every place you visit. Don't just do in on your wechat moments like everyone else.

Step 3: Look for naive girls who like to come to SZS and talk about birds, bees and the sunrise. Pretend that you also have an interest although deep down inside you may be laughing at them.

Step 4: Ask them to visit your homepage and check out your albums. Now she starts getting interested in your life.

Step 5: Tell her your son / daughter will be in town soon and you want to take them to see a random Chinese village. It's important for you to mention you will be taking your son / daughter on this trip, so they don't feel uncomfortable when you invite them to join.

Step 6: Once she joins you on a short trip, next time invite her to a Friday night dinner at Kingway and then an after-party back at your place.