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Research shows understanding the difference could affect how long you live. 调查显示，对这两者差异的理解程度越高，你就能活得越久。 Saying things like, 'I'm not scared of anything,' or, 'I didn't want that promotion anyway,' doesn't necessarily mean you're mentally strong. 说什么“我什么都不怕”或者“我反正也不想要升职”，这种话并不能证明你内心强大。 In fact, there's a good chance you might just be acting tough. 实际上，很有可能你只是在故作坚强。 While acting tough may meet your needs in the short term by artificially boosting your ego or by getting other people to back off, it's not a good long-term strategy. 虽然表现强硬能在短期内满足你人为增进自信心的需要，或者是让他人不敢惹你，但是，从长期来看，这并不是一个好策略。 In fact, a new study conducted by psychologists at Rutgers University found that men who act tough may suffer serious consequences. 事实上，一个由罗格斯大学的心理学家们进行的新调查表明，表现强硬的男性可能会遭受很严重的后果。 The study, published in The Journal of Health Psychology,found that men who act tough visit doctors less often. 这一研究在心理健康杂志上发布，并称表现坚强的男性们去看医生的频率会更低。 They're also less forthcoming about their medical symptoms when they see a male physician. (Interestingly, these same men were more likely to choose a male doctor because they believe male doctors are more competent than females). 在面对男性医师时，他们也不愿过多讲述自己的身体症状。（有趣的是，同样一群人会更乐于选择男医师，因为他们觉得男医师比女医师更厉害。） Researchers suspect that delaying medical appointments and minimizing symptoms could be one of the reasons why men die, on average, five years earlier than women. 调查者们猜想，拖延会诊预约和不如实说明病症是男性平均会比女性寿命短五年的原因之一。 But clearly, it's not always just men who feel the need to act tough. Many women do, as well. Here are seven signs you're just acting tough: 但明显不只是男人才有需求去故作坚强。很多女性也会如此。以下7个现象就说明你只是表现强硬，内心并非如此： 1.You mask insecurities. 掩饰自己的不安全感。 Acting tough involves developing a persona that says, 'I'm the best.' But behind that tough exterior, there's often a lot of self-doubt. 表现强硬涉及到把自己的人物角色设定为自觉“我是最棒的”。但是，在这坚强的外表下，往往有着很大程度的自我怀疑。 Rather than waste energy trying to cover up their weaknesses, mentally strong people invest time into improving themselves. 与其浪费精力去掩盖弱点，精神力强大的人们会把时间都投入到提升自己上。 They acknowledge their shortcomings and strive to become better. 他们承认自己的短处，并努力变得更好。 2.You think failure isn't an option. 不允许失败。 Saying, 'Failure isn't option,' won't prevent you from failing--but it might prevent you from trying. 抱有“不许失败”这样的信条无法让你避开失败——反而会让你不再去尝试和努力。 People who act tough are usually more interested in showing off the skills they already have, rather than learning anything new. 表现强硬的那些人往往对炫耀自己已有的技能更感兴趣，而不是学习新东西。 Mentally strong people view failure as a stepping stone to success. 内心强大的人们把失败视为走向成功的垫脚石。 They trust in their ability to bounce back from setbacks, and they're prepared to learn from their mistakes. 他们相信自己能够从挫折中重新振作起来，而且他们也做好了从错误中学习的准备。 3.Your self-worth depends on how others see you. 你的自我价值取决于别人对你的看法。 People who act tough are very concerned with their appearance. Their self-worth depends on other people's opinions of them. 那些故作坚强的人们对自己的外表非常上心。他们的自我价值取决于别人对他们的看法。 Mentally strong people, however, aren't worried about proving anything to anyone but themselves. 而内心强大的人并不会想向任何人证明什么事情，而是要向自己证明。 They're willing to ask for help, and they're fueled by their internal desire to grow stronger better. 他们乐于寻求帮助，而且他们内心深处对于成长的渴望会为他们提供动力。 4.You suppress your emotions. 抑制自己的情绪。 Often, the only emotion tough people feel comfortable expressing is anger. 通常，强硬之人唯一愿意流露的情感就是愤怒。 They hide their sadness, fear, and excitement from others as much as possible. 他们尽可能地隐藏起自己的伤感、恐惧和对他人的兴趣。 Mentally strong people are willing to admit when they're afraid, and they aren't shy about shedding a tear once in a while. 内心强大的人在害怕时会敢于承认，他们也不会羞于偶尔的流泪。 Rather than ignore their emotions, they monitor them. 他们会控制自己的情感，而不是无视。 They're acutely aware of the ways in which their feelings influence their thoughts and behavior. 他们很清楚自己的感受会影响到自己的思维和行为。 5.You deny your pain. 否认痛苦。 People who are intent on acting tough pride themselves on tolerating a great deal of pain. 那些坚持表现坚强的人们对于自己能够忍受巨大痛苦的能力感到自豪。 Whether they treat their bodies like a machine or they refuse to acknowledge an injury, they view their willingness to keep going as a badge of honor. 无论是他们把自己的身体当成机器还是拒绝承认自己受伤，乐于坚持下去的心态在他们看来是一枚荣誉勋章。 Mentally strong people aren't interested in tolerating pain as a means to impress others. 内心强大的人们对于用忍受痛苦来给他人留下印象这种做法并不感兴趣。 Instead, they learn from pain, and try to turn suffering into an opportunity to become better. 相反，他们从痛苦中学习，并试图将苦痛转变为成长的机会。 6.You think you can do everything. 自以为无所不能。 While healthy self-confidence is helpful, acting tough involves grandiose proclamations like, 'Nothing will ever stop me.' 健康的自信心是有益的，而故作坚强就好像放大话道：“没有什么能阻止我”。 People who act tough often overestimate their abilities and underestimate the work required to reach their goals. 表现强硬的人们总是自视过高，并低估了达成目标所需要的工作量。 Mentally strong people are well-prepared for the realities of a challenge. 内心强大的人们时刻准备好迎接挑战。 They acknowledge potential obstacles that stand in their way and they recognize how much effort they'll realistically need to invest. 他们承认阻挡自己的潜在困难并知道自己实际需要付出多少努力。 7.You try to control other people. 尝试去控制别人。 People who act tough thrive on feeling like they have power over other people. 故作坚强的人总觉得自己有权利控制他人。 They want to be perceived as being 'in control,' and they often micromanage others or make unreasonable demands. 他们希望被视为“管理者”，并常常在小事上控制他人或者提出一些不合理的要求。 Mentally strong people, however, are interested in controlling themselves rather than the people around them. 内心强大的人则更感兴趣于控制自己，而非周边的人。 They're invested in regulating their thoughts, managing their emotions, and behaving productively, despite whatever circumstances they find themselves in. 他们不管在什么情况下，都会花时间精力去调节自己的思想、控制自己的情绪和有效率地行事。 Build Mental Strength 建立强大的内心 If you're guilty of putting up a fake exterior that helps you feel tough, consider the toll it may take on your life. 如果你故作姿态来让自己感到坚强，你可以想一想这么做会让你的生活付出什么代价。 Invest in building mental strength, so the way you feel on the inside matches how others see you on the outside. 把时间精力放在建立强大的内心素质上，这样你的为人处事才能表里一致。 As your mental strength increases, your desire to act tough decreases. 随着你内心逐渐强大起来，你想去故作坚强的欲望也就相应减少了。 |
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