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Thus relationship is sought where there is mutual satisfaction, gratification; when you do not find that satisfaction you change relationship; either you divorce or you remain together but seek gratification elsewhere or else you move from one relationship to another till you find what you seek - which is satisfaction, gratification, and a sense of self-protection and comfort. After all, that is our relationship in the world, and it is thus in fact. 我们寻觅可以相互满足、相互慰藉的关系，如果找不到那种满足，我们就变换关系。要么离婚，要么继续在一起，但在别处寻求满足；或者从一个关系换到另一个关系，直至找到你想要的——即满足、满意以及一种安全感、舒适感。说到底，那就是我们在此世的关系，实际上就是那样的。 Relationship is sought where there can be security, where you as an individual can live in a state of security, in a state of gratification, in a state of ignorance - all of which always creates conflict, does it not? If you do not satisfy me and I am seeking satisfaction, naturally there must be conflict, because we are both seeking security in each other; when that security becomes uncertain you become jealous, you become violent, you become possessive and so on. So relationship invariably results in possession in condemnation, in self-assertive demands for security, for comfort and for gratification, and in that there is naturally no love. 我们在关系中寻求安全，希望能通过关系活在一种安全的状态、满足的状态、无知的状态中——这一切总是引起冲突，不是吗？如果你满足不了我，而我在寻求的就是满足，自然就会有冲突。因为我们都在彼此身上寻求安全，当那安全变得不稳固，你就变得嫉妒、暴力、充满占有欲等。所以，我们的关系总是导致占有、谴责，总是一意孤行地要求安全、舒适、满足。那当中自然没有爱。 We talk about love, we talk about responsibility, duty, but there is really no love; relationship is based on gratification, the effect of which we see in the present civilization. The way we treat our wives, children, neighbours, friends is an indication that in our relationship there is really no love at all. It is merely a mutual search for gratification. As this is so, what then is the purpose of relationship? What is its ultimate significance? If you observe yourself in relationship with others, do you not find that relationship is a process of self-revelation? Does not my contact with you reveal my own state of being if I am aware, if I am alert enough to be conscious of my own reaction in relationship? 我们谈论爱，谈论责任、义务，但实际上并没有爱；我们的关系基于满足，那样的关系会带来怎样的影响，我们在当代文明中都已经看到了。我们对待自己的妻子、孩子、邻居、朋友的方式，表明在我们的关系中实际上完全没有爱，只是互相寻求满足罢了。既然是这样，那么关系的目的何在？它的终极意义何在？如果观察你自己与他人的关系，你难道没有发现，关系是一个自我披露的过程吗？我与你的交往，不正揭示了我的存在状态吗？如果我觉察到，如果我足够警觉，能够意识到我在关系中的反应的话？ Relationship is really a process of self-revelation, which is a process of self-knowledge; in that revelation there are many unpleasant things, disquieting, uncomfortable thoughts, activities. Since I do not like what I discover, I run away from a relationship which is not pleasant to a relationship which is pleasant. Therefore, relationship has very little significance when we are merely seeking mutual gratification but becomes extraordinarily significant when it is a means of self-revelation and self-knowledge. 关系真的是一个披露自我的过程，即认识自我的过程。在这个披露的过程中，会有许多令人不悦的东西，许多令人不安、不舒服的思想和活动。因为不喜欢所发现的东西，我就从一段不舒服的关系逃到一段舒服的关系中。所以，如果我们只是寻求互相满足，关系的意义就微乎其微，但如果关系成为一个自我披露、自我认识的途径，它就变得意义非凡。 After all, there is no relationship in love, is there? It is only when you love something and expect a return of your love that there is a relationship. When you love, that is when you give yourself over to something entirely, wholly, then there is no relationship. 说到底，爱当中并没有关系，不是吗？只有当你爱着什么并期待有所回报时，关系才形成。当你爱时，也就是说，当你把自己完全献给某个事物时，关系并不存在。 If you do love, if there is such a love, then it is a marvellous thing. In such love there is no friction, there is not the one and the other, there is complete unity. It is a state of integration, a complete being. There are such moments, such rare, happy, joyous moments, when there is complete love, complete communion. 如果你真的在爱，如果有这样的爱，那真是件了不起的事。在那样的爱中，没有摩擦，没有此与彼，而是完全的合一。那是合而为一的状态，一个整体的存在。当存在完全的爱、完全的融合时，就会有这样的时刻，难得的、快乐的、喜悦的时刻。 What generally happens is that love is not what is important but the other, the object of love becomes important; the one to whom love is given becomes important and not love itself. Then the object of love, for various reasons, either biological, verbal or because of a desire for gratification, for comfort and so on, becomes important and love recedes. Then possession, jealousy and demands create conflict and love recedes further and further; the further it recedes, the more the problem of relationship loses its significance, its worth and its meaning. 通常的情况是，爱并非是那个重要的东西，重要的是其他，是那个爱的对象；被给予爱的那个东西变得重要，而不是爱本身。于是，因为各种原因，因为生物学、语言上的原因，因为渴求满足、舒适等，爱的对象变得重要，而爱就退居其后了。于是占有、嫉妒、需求制造出冲突，爱则一退再退；爱退得越远，关系当中的问题就越加失去其意义、价值和重要性。 Therefore, love is one of the most difficult things to comprehend. It cannot come through an intellectual urgency, it cannot be manufactured by various methods and means and disciplines. It is a state of being when the activities of the self have ceased; but they will not cease if you merely suppress them, shun them or discipline them. You must understand the activities of the self in all the different layers of consciousness. We have moments when we do love, when there is no thought, no motive, but those moments are very rare. Because they are rare we cling to them in memory and thus create a barrier between living reality and the action of our daily existence. 因此，爱是最难理解的事物之一。它不会因为理智上的急切需求而出现，也无法通过各种方法、途径、规范制造出来。它是自我活动停止时的存在状态；但如果你只是压抑、逃避或规训，自我活动是不会停止的。你必须去了解不同意识层面上的所有的自我活动。我们有过真爱时刻，那一刻没有思想、没有动机，但那样的时刻少之又少。因其罕有，我们铭记不忘，因而在鲜活的真相和日常的活动之间竖起了一道屏障。 In order to understand relationship it is important to understand first of all what is, what is actually taking place in our lives, in all the different subtle forms; and also what relationship actually means. Relationship is self-revelation. It is because we do not want to be revealed to ourselves that we hide in comfort, and then relationship loses its extraordinary depth, significance and beauty. There can be true relationship only when there is love but love is not the search for gratification. Love exists only when there is self-forgetfulness, when there is complete communion, not between one or two, but communion with the highest; and that can only take place when the self is forgotten. 要了解关系，重要的是了解实情，了解生活中实际发生的各种事情，了解事情所有细微不同的形式，也了解关系真正的含义。关系是自我披露。因为不想披露自己，我们躲进舒适中，关系于是就失去了它非凡的深度、意义和美。有爱，才有真正的关系，但爱并不是寻求满足。只有忘记自我，完全合一——不是融合一个人或两个人，而是融合最高的存在——才会有爱；只有忘却自我，这一切才会发生。 The First and Last Freedom， ‘On Relationship’ 《最初和最终的自由》之“论关系” 本周冥思坊北京读书会，详情及报名方式请点击： 冥思坊2016年全国会员持续招募中，目前会员交流活动已正式开展，欢迎感兴趣的朋友申请加入。详情请点击： 了解冥思坊，请点击查看：
 克里希那穆提冥思坊 微博：http://weibo.com/jkmeditationstudio |
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