|
很多人对于他们脑袋里的声音是如此的认同——那个不间断的、不自主的、强迫性的思想续流，还有随之而来的情绪——我们可以形容这些人是被他们的心智占据的。如果你对此毫无觉知，就会认为你自己就是那个思考者。这就是小我的心智。我们称它为“小我的”(egoic)，因为在每个思想——每个记忆、每个阐释、意见、观点、反应和情绪里，都有一个自我感(小我感)在其中。从灵性的角度来说，这就是所谓的无意识。你的思想，你心智的内容，当然是被过去所制约的，过去是指：你的教养、文化、家庭背景等。你心智所有活动的最核心包含了一些重复和持续的思想、情绪和反应模式，这些都是你最强烈认同的。这个实体就是小我的本身。 在大多数的情形中，当你说“我”的时候，其实就是小我在说话，而不是你，我们在前面已经看到了。它包含了思想和情绪，还有一堆你认同为“我和我的故事”的回忆，还有你不自知而习惯性扮演的角色以及一些集体的认同，像国籍、宗教、种族、社会阶级、政治立场等。它还包括了个人的认同，不仅是认同于个人拥有的东西，还包括个人意见、外表、长久以来的怨恨，或是关于你自己比别人好或是不如别人，还有自己是成功或失败的概念。 小我的内容因人而异，但是在每个小我中运作的结构都是一样的。换句话说：小我的差异只是在表象，深究之下都是一样的。它们是怎么样相同的呢？它们都是靠认同和分离为生。当你透过小我而活的时候(小我是心智制造的自我，由思想和情绪组成的)，你身份的基础就是不可靠的，因为思想和情绪的本质就是短促而稍纵即逝的。所以每一个小我都不断地在为生存而挣扎，试图保护和扩大自己。为了要维护“我——思想”，它需要一个相对的思想——他人。概念上的“我”，如果没有一个概念上的“他人”的话，就无法存活。 当我视这些“他人”为敌人的时候，他们是最与我分离的。在这个无意识小我模式天平的一端，是小我强迫性地责怪、埋怨别人的习惯。耶稣对此也曾说过：“为何你只看见你弟兄眼中之刺，而看不到自己眼中的梁呢？”在天平的另一端，是个人之间的暴力行为和国家之间的战争。在《圣经》中，耶稣问的这个问题从未得到回答，但是答案当然应该是：因为当我批评或责怪他人的时候，我觉得有优越感，也比较强大。
In most cases, when you say “I,” it is the ego speaking, not you, as wehave seen. It consists of thought and emotion, of a bundle of memories youidentify with as “me and my story,” of habitual roles you play withoutknowing it, of collective identifications such as nationality, religion, race,social class, or political allegiance. It also contains personal identifications,not only with possessions, but also with opinions, external appearance, long-standing resentments, or concepts of yourself as better than or not as good asothers, as a success or failure. The content of the ego varies from person to person, bu in every egothe same structure operates. In other words: Egos only differ on the surface.Deep down they are all the same. In what way are they the same? They liveon identification and separation. When you live through the mind-made selfcomprised of thought and emotion that is the ego, the basis for your identityis precarious because thought and emotion are by their very natureephemeral, fleeting. So every ego is continuously struggling for survival,trying to protect and enlarge itself. To uphold the I-thought, it needs theopposite thought of “the other.” The conceptual “I” cannot survive withoutthe conceptual “other.” The others are most other when I see them as myenemies. At one end of this scale of this unconscious egoic pattern lies theegoic compulsive habit of faultfinding and complaining about others. Jesusreferred to it when he said, “Why to do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?”1 At the otherend of the scale, there is physical violence between individuals and warfarebetween nations. In the Bible, Jesus' question remains unanswered, but theanswer is, of course: Because when I criticize or condemn another, it makesme feel bigger, superior.
|
|
|
Most people are so completely identified with the voice in the head – theincessant stream of involuntary and compulsive thinking and the emotionsthat accompany it – that we may describe them as being possessed by theirmind. As long as you are completely unaware of this you take the thinker tobe who you are. This is the egoic mind. We call it egoic because there is asense of self, of I (ego), in every thought – every memory, everyinterpretation, opinion, viewpoint, reaction, emotion. This isunconsciousness, spiritually speaking. Your thinking, the content of yourmind, is of course conditioned by the past: your upbringing, culture, familybackground, and so on. The central core of all your mind activity consists ofcertain repetitive and persistent thoughts, emotions, and reactive patternsthat you identify with most strongly. This entity is the ego itself.
