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为了不打翻我们的友谊小船，小编尽心尽责的为大家收集了留学文书写作中十点常见弊端，希望能在这个“物欲横流”的世界里给你们带来一丝温暖~~~不说了，上正文吧，如果大家记不住这篇文章的其他建议，也要记住这四个字：有趣、简洁。 1. Don't ThesaurusizeYour Essay. Do Use Your Own Voice. 不要言过其实，不要用华丽辞藻堆砌文书，要说自己的话。 Admissions officers cantell Roget from an 18-year-old high school senior. Big words, especially whenmisused, detract from the essay, inappropriately drawing the reader's attentionand making the essay sound contrived. Before: Although I did aplethora of activities in high school, my assiduous efforts enabled me tosucceed. After: Although I juggledmany activities in high school, I succeeded through persistent work.. 2. Don't Bore the Reader.Do Be Interesting. 文章有趣才能吸引读者！ Admissions officers haveto read hundreds of essays, and they must often skim. Abstract rumination hasno place in an application essay. Admissions officers aren't looking for a newway to view the world; they're looking for a new way to view you the applicant.The best way to grip your reader is to begin the essay with a captivatingsnapshot. Notice how the slightly jarring scene depicted in the'after' creates intrigue and keeps the reader's interest. Before: The collegeadmissions and selection process is a very important one, perhaps one that willhave the greatest impact on one's future. The college that a person will go tooften influences his personality, views, and career. After: An outsideobserver would have called the scene ridiculous: a respectable physicianholding the bell of his stethoscope to the chest of a small stuffed bear. 3. Do Use PersonalDetail. Show, Don't Tell! 给招生官来一场“秀”。 Good essays are concreteand grounded in personal detail. They do not merely assert 'I learned mylesson' or that 'these lessons are useful both on and off thefield.' They show it through personal detail. 'Show don't tell,'means if you want to relate a personal quality, do so through your experiencesand do not merely assert it. Before: I developed a newcompassion for the disabled. After: The next time Mrs.Cooper asked me to help her across the street, I smiled and immediately tookher arm. The first example isvague and could have been written by anybody. But the second sentence evokes avivid image of something that actually happened, placing the reader in theexperience of the applicant. 4. Do Be Concise. Don'tBe Wordy. 文章要简洁，忌啰嗦！ Wordiness not only takesup valuable space, but it also can confuse the important ideas you're trying toconvey. Short sentences are more forceful because they are direct and to thepoint. Certain phrases such as 'the fact that' are usuallyunnecessary. Notice how the revised version focuses on active verbs rather thanforms of 'to be' and adverbs and adjectives. Before: My recognition ofthe fact that the project was finally over was a deeply satisfying moment thatwill forever linger in my memory. After: Completing theproject at last gave me an enduring sense of fulfillment. 5. Don't Use Slang, Yo! 不要使用俚语。 Write an essay, not anemail. Slang terms, clich??s, contractions, and an excessively casual toneshould be eliminated. Here's one example of inappropriately colloquiallanguage. Well here I am thinkingabout what makes me tick. You would be surprised. What really gets my goat iswhen kids disrespect the flag. My father was in 'Nam and I know how importantthe military is to this great nation. 6. Do Vary Your Sentencesand Use Transitions. 用好连词，使文章错落有致。 The best essays contain avariety of sentence lengths mixed within any given paragraph. Also, rememberthat transition is not limited to words like nevertheless, furthermore orconsequently. Good transition flows from the natural thought progression ofyour argument. Before: I started playingpiano when I was eight years old. I worked hard to learn difficult pieces. Ibegan to love music. After: I started playingthe piano at the age of eight. As I learned to play more difficult pieces, my appreciationfor music deepened. 7. Do Use Active VoiceVerbs. 用主动语态 Passive-voice expressionsare verb phrases in which the subject receives the action expressed in theverb. Passive voice employs a form of the verb to be, such as was or were.Overuse of the passive voice makes prose seem flat and uninteresting. 过度使用被动语态会使文章平淡乏味，这和被动语态的性质有关，童鞋们可要学好咯。 Before: The lessons thatprepared me for college were taught to me by my mother. After: My mother taughtme lessons that will prepare me for college. 8. Do Seek MultipleOpinions. 多咨询他人的意见(三人行，必有我师焉) Ask your friends andfamily to keep these questions in mind: 向亲朋好友咨询下列问： Have I answered thequestion? 回答问题了吗？ Does my introductionengage the reader? Does my conclusion provide closure? 开头吸引读者吗?结尾说清楚论点了吗？ Do I use concreteexperiences as supporting details? 论据有力吗？ Is my sentence structurevaried, or do I use all long or short sentences? 句子结构多样化吗?抑或只是单一的长句或短句？ Are there any clich suchas cutting edge or learned my lesson? 有诸如“我学到一课”这样的陈词滥调吗？ Do I use transitionsappropriately? 连接词使用正确吗？ What about the essay ismemorable? 文章诵读性怎样？ What's the worst part ofthe essay? 文书中最不好的部分是什么？ What parts of the essayneed elaboration or are unclear? 文书哪些部分需要详细阐述或还不清晰？ What parts of the essaydo not support my main argument? 文书哪些部分不支持我的主要观点？ Is every single sentencecrucial to the essay? This must be the case. 每一独立段落对文章都很重要吗？ What does the essayreveal about my personality? 这篇文书展示了我什么个性？ 9. Do Answer the Question. Many students try to turna 500-word essay into a complete autobiography. Not surprisingly, they fail toanswer the question and risk their chances of attending college. Make sure thatevery sentence in your essay exists solely to answer the question. 许多学生把500字的作文写出了自传，这显然对录取不利。 10. Do Revise, Revise,Revise. The first step in animproving any essay is to cut, cut, and cut some more. 润色，润色，再润色：给文书润色的第一步就是大刀阔斧地删减，给文章瘦身，使文章简洁有力。 |
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来自： budaozheli > 《PS个人陈述》
