幼升小，如何帮孩子适应上学的压力？

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请问如何处理孩子和家长在面对学习方面的压力？举例来说，女儿快六岁了，她所在的幼儿园大班即将开始帮助孩子们引入拼音和数学的学习，有些家长们已经表现出了“严阵以待”的紧张感和焦虑。与此同时，女儿在学习方面尚未呈现出“启蒙”的状态和学习的能力。请问这种情况我们该如何对待？

如何帮孩子适应上学压力？ 来自新东方家庭教育 00:00 03:49

劳伦斯·科恩

 美国临床心理学家 儿童游戏治疗师

关于学习压力，我的第一条建议就是——

玩上学的游戏，要多玩，玩很多有关学校的游戏。

这种类型的游戏有两个规则，第一个是：让孩子主导游戏；第二个是：游戏的目的是为了大笑。而不是为上学做准备、或者偷偷地植入一些教学的内容，而用游戏做伪装。这些都不是目的。

游戏的目的就是让孩子笑啊笑啊，从而帮助她感受到自己的力量。为学习这项艰巨的任务做好准备，同时释放出由此产生的压力。孩子们对学习和学校产生巨大的压力并不是偶然的，因为作为家长，我们大人自己就很紧张，老师也有压力，这些情绪都被孩子们接收了。有些孩子比别人更加敏感一些，他们的压力就很大，需要更多地玩大量的游戏。

让孩子主导游戏。意思就是说，当你说完：“噢，我们玩上学的游戏吧！”然后就完全交给孩子，让她来决定怎么玩游戏。也许她想当老师，让你当学生，而且当那种什么都不会的学生，不会写字、不会算数、连二都数不到。也许她想让你当那种无所不知的学生，让她的布娃娃和毛绒玩具当其他的同学，她也许会扮演成非常严厉的老师，又或许是非常和蔼的老师。所有这一切都要由孩子来决定，由孩子来做主。也许当你说完：“我们玩上学游戏吧！”她会说：“不，我不想玩上学游戏。”因为只是想想上学就会让人感到很沮丧，并造成巨大的焦虑。这样也没关系，你可以说：“我们玩上学游戏吧！”她回答：“不要玩。”然后你就说：“那好吧，你想玩什么我们就玩什么。”请相信，即便她想玩的是过家家、办家家酒、玩布娃娃或者小汽车、滚球或者扔球，无论她玩什么，那份紧张的情绪都会在玩的过程中被慢慢地消化掉。

我的第二个建议是——

多玩你孩子擅长的游戏，一定是那种她做得非常好的领域。

所以，假如她非常会画画，那你就要多多安排和她一起画画。通过经常做擅长的事情，让她把自信心建立起来，相信自己的能力。

最后一个建议是——

找到孩子可以教你做的事情。

比如：怎么画彩虹、如何做侧手翻或者前滚翻。当她教你时，你得尝试看看到底得做哪种类型的学生。要是我的话，会在一开始尝试做那种认真负责、对学习充满热情的学生，但是一定要让她来教。如果你真得学到了一些东西就太好了，不过也许你得表现得夸张一些。也许你知道怎么画彩虹，不过还是让她来教你吧，让她通过教你感受到快乐、自信和掌控感。

My number one recommendation for learning pressure is to play school, and to do this quite a lot, to play a lot of games about school. There are two rules to this style of play, the first is that child is in charge of the play, and thesecond is that the purpose of this game is laughter. The purpose is not to gether ready for school, or to sneak in some teaching and learning, and disguiseit as play. That's not the goal. The goal is laugh and laugh to help her feelmore powerful and more ready for this big job of learning, and to release thepressure that built up about it. It's no accident that children will develop alot of stress about learning, and about school, because as parents, we arenervous about it, and teachers have stress, and children pick these up, andsome are more sensitive to that than others, and they have a great deal ofstress and they need a great deal of play. The child being in charge means thatyou say, 'oh, let's play school.' and then you leave it to her todecide what the games look like. Probably she will want to be the teacher, shemay want you to be the student, she may want you to be a student who does notknow how to write or how to do any math, doesn't know how to count to two. Orshe may want you to be a student who knows all the answers, she may want all ofher dolls and stuffed animals to be the classmates, she may want to be a verystrict teacher, or a very nice teacher. And all of that is up to the child. Thechild is in charge. You may say 'let's playschool.' the child says,'no, I don't want to play school.” because the whole idea of school is soupsetting and arouses so much anxiety. That’s ok. You can say 'let's playschool,' and if she says, 'no, “then you say, 'OK, then let'splay anything you like to play.' And you can trust that, even if she wantsto play house or tea party or with dolls or trucks, or roll a ball or throw aball, whatever she does, she will be working through some of her tension aboutschool no matter what she does.

 

Andthat leads to my second recommendation, which is to do a lot of play in the areaswhere your child excels, the things that she is really good at. So if she isvery very good at drawing, you're setting to do a lot of drawing with her. Andshe gets to be really really good at things, and to build up her sense of selfconfidence and her confidence in her abilities by doing thing she's really goodat. And finally, the last recommendation is to find things that she can teachyou, and this may be how to draw a rainbow or maybe how to do a somersault, aforward tumbling roll. And you have to experiment with what kind of student you're going to be when she's teaching you. And I would start with being a veryconscientious and enthusiastic student eager to learn, but really let her dothe teaching. It's most wonderful if you actually are learning from her, but itmaybe that you can exaggerate this a little bit. Maybe you know how to draw a rainbow, but you let her teach you and get this pleasure and sense of confidence and mastery from teaching you.

本问题由简耕教育协助提供和整理。简耕教育，科恩博士中国唯一课程授权合作机构。