 图片来源于网络 第一次见男友or女友的父母 绝对是一件重要的事 那么，在这么重大的场合 我们需要注意些什么呢？ 赫扬 Your relationship is going well. And you are looking towards your future together. But it’s time to meet your future in-laws. Yeah. 来明 Oh, no pressure.  赫扬 You want to appear charming, friendly, intelligent, and most of all, perfect for their son or daughter. Here is how to navigate those first delicate in-law encounters. Ryan Lai Ming, I mean, you are a veteran in this.  赫扬 Yeah, Lai Ming, we are turning to you. 来明 I think I told the story before about the first time I met my in-laws. And the trick is to try and be responsive, and read the room, and whatever they need you try and be one step ahead. But there is something I didn’t share last time was about dressing. I mean I went to see my in laws. And I had an idea of what I should wear. I was dressing somewhat formally but still it was casual in a casual way. And it was the best I had at the moment. But still the feedback I got, a long time later after that was from my father-in-law. He told my (his) daughter that he seems like a nice man. But he doesn’t seem to care very much about his appearance. 赫扬 Oh, so that’s what you got from your wife. But that didn’t become a roadblock, it seems. So as long as you are dressing to impress. You wear clean clothes, and not too revealing for girls. 来明 Or if I could do this all over again, I will certainly try to be more formal, to leave the best impression. Ryan You know, I never had in-laws. But in past relationships, the first thing I would say is in Western culture, at least in my experience and what my dad taught me and what I eventually implemented was. As soon as I would meet her father, give him a good, firm hand shake and look him straight in the eyes. You know, if I am looking down, it’s like to show that I am not a confident guy. It’s like, you look him straight in the eyes, you show him respect. With the mother, you offer to help her with anything she needs help with. “Oh, can I help you with that, oh let me help you with the dishes, or please let me clean up the table”, these kinds of things. Always offering to be of service. But also, dressing to impress, shows them that you cared about coming over, the visit. You took time to think about what to wear, like you wanted to put on a good impression for them, that’s a show of respect. I think a big one too is, I mean, in the West, when you are eating food, there is an etiquette you know. Like, you take your time, you never talk while you have food in your mouth, 来明 Oh, those details, yes Ryan these kinds of things, you are not digging into your food. You’re really….It’s more about talking to each other, and then slowly taking bites of your food, and these kind of things rather than the actual feeding yourself. So it’s actually like, zero parts of it are like….often you’d walk away from something like this, dinner with your girlfriend’s parents or in laws, still feeling hungry, you go grab a burger at Burger King on the way home . Because you are trying to be modest, you are trying to be humble, you know, but anytime, like, let’s say, if the mom says, “Ryan, would you like some more of this?”, you would be like “ yes, it was delicious!” Because she cooked it. You know, these kind of things, really making them feel special, that’s the best way to do it too. 来明 Oh yeah, that actually brings me back to one thing that you should be always already to take on whatever food that is given to you, to show that you have a good appetite, that you are healthy. 赫扬 Clean the plate. Ryan This is where the in-laws get to mess with you to, they’re like “oh let’s make the most kind of gross, weird, food possible and just offer it to him as much as possible.” That’s what I will do if I’m an in-law. 来明 This applies to guys.  Ryan “Yeah, my specialty…snails, I hope you are hungry today. Would like an extra helping?” “Oh, yeah. Please sir, yeah.” 赫扬 I can see that happening when Ryan meets, you know, the fiancée Ryan My daughter’s 赫扬 yeah, of your daughter’s kind of thing in the future, well, yes. Ryan If I allow him to live, you know. 赫扬 Yeah, it’s a complicated one. I think the father in-law possibly, can be quite picky or just extra cautious I suppose, when they are looking at a new man that might be joining the family household. And also, Chinese mother in-laws can be the same if not a little bit more sometimes when they are seeing a woman is joining the household, getting married to her son. 来明 That’s even worse, come on. Ryan Talk about that. 赫扬 I wouldn’t know, I don’t have a son. But I’ve read and heard from friends that usually girls or the ladies that are visiting the mother-in-law for the very first time. 来明 But I suppose in that case, 赫扬 You are very careful. 来明 the girl should totally enlist the help from the fiancée, the guy. But to the point the guy is not showing too much care, lest the mother gets too jealous. Ryan But I’ve heard about this. Many times the mother-in-law criticizes the new wife in certain ways. And it can be stressful. 赫扬 You can never be as good as her. So just give up on that, try to be nice and very polite. And don’t come empty-handed. Ryan Yeah, come with wine or fruit 赫扬 Fruit is always a safe option when you visit a Chinese household. Ryan In the west, wine is pretty common. 来明 Right. Just stay on the safe side, stick with fruit. 特别感谢热心听友 巴啦啦小咸鱼 帮助听写本期文稿 Also follow us on Wechat@ ezfmroundtable Weibo@轻松调频RoundTable 企鹅FM@China Plus APP 轻松调频EZFM & China Plus |
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来自： smiller2016 > 《201805200520》
